FOURTEEN
Will
I can smell the sweet scent of Bella’s pussy on my hand all the way down the street as I carry her. The memory of her taste has me semi-hard and struggling to focus. Nothing on this earth could induce me to put her down right now. I have no idea how I kept from gutting that wankstain back in the cinema, but I’m glad I didn’t. Not in front of Bella.
I would hate to scare her.
It’s a good reminder of how close to the edge it drives me just being near her. A good reminder: even if I want to—though I’m desperate to—I can’t claim her as mine.
It’s only a matter of time before I slip up. What then?
I dread to think.
People stare as I carry her back to the Ritz. I ignore them. At least they’re staring at me and not her. The crowd from the cinema don’t follow, which is wise. I guess I scared them off.
Bella lays her head against my shoulder. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
I can’t talk well in this form, but I try. “Sorry.” I wish I could shift back, but I’m still on high alert.
She snuggles a bit closer and her hand tightens in the fur at my scruff. “Not you. Me. Those idiots aren’t worth getting upset over, but I still do. People say the most awful things. I just usually don’t have to listen. I can switch off, or block them, or stop reading.”
She’s quiet for a while. It’s impossible to form the words I want to tell her she’s beautiful. She is an untouchable goddess compared with them.
After a while, she sighs. “I hate that it makes me feel cheap.”
A single tear trickles down her cheek. Unable to do anything else, I nuzzle my wolf’s nose against it and softly lick it away.
She laughs. “Not fair. Tickling is a guaranteed way to make me smile, even when I’m sad.”
I grin and do it again.
She giggles.
After that, there are no more tears.
Once we’re finally inside the lobby of her hotel, I reluctantly set her down. “I should go.”
Her brows furrow. “You’re not coming up?”
“I—” I swipe a hand down my long nose. “Can’t.” If I follow her to her room right now, there would be no holding back.
I draw in a long steadying breath. It only feeds me more of her scent fresh on my fur and skin.
“Oh. OK.” She hangs her head. I catch a glimpse of her eyes as they turn watery before she turns for the elevators.
“Bella!”
She turns back with a hopeful smile, blinking away the wetness.
I close my eyes and concentrate. It takes everything I have, but I force my jaw into a shape that can make words more clearly. “It’s not you. Honestly. Please don’t think that.”
“Then what is it?” She comes back, taking my big paws in her small hands.
I do my best not to crush her. “It’s hard to explain.” Actually, it’s simple, but she’ll run a mile if I tell her. Only, she hasn’t run so far. She saw my display of aggression at the cinema and apparently it did nothing to scare her.
Perhaps...
“I-I’d like to see you again. If I can.”
The hopeful smile settles into something happier. “I’d like that. My days are pretty hectic the next week, but I’m free next Tuesday. Would that work?”
“Of course.” Then I remember. “Bugger. Candy is performing at the open mic night at our local. I promised I’d go and support her.”
“Can I come? I’d love to see her. What does she do?”
“Really? I’ll warn you it’s amateur comedy night. Candy is very good, but everyone else...” I trail off. I’m not really selling this well.
Bella laughs. “I’d love to. I know we’ll have a great time.”
We arrange to meet in a week, and I avoid walking her up to her room. It would only lead to temptation.
I’m a strange muddle of emotions on the run home. Hope; excitement; dread.
When I shift and retrieve my phone from the pocket of my ruined pants, there’s a message from Bella.
Bella: thank you for today. I’m really glad you want to see me again. I was worried I’d embarrassed you
I stare at the message. Her embarrass me? Impossible.
Will: how?
Three dots appear, then disappear, then reappear again. There’s a long pause.
Bella: by confronting those idiots. I am impulsive and brash
I laugh.
Will: You are lovely, I’m the one who turned into a monster and spoiled our date
I’m about to correct my use of the word date, when she replies
Bella: you didn’t spoil it. It was the best date I’ve had in ages. Maybe ever! I can’t wait for the next time I see you
I let go a whoosh of breath.
Will: I apologize in advance for the performance poetry
Maybe the guy with the bad goatee and the truly awful poetry will take the night off. I have no idea why he insists on coming to comedy night to inflict it on everyone, but he never seems to take the hint from the audience’s silence.
I already know I’m dreaming, but a wolf can hope can’t he? Candy is quite good. Great even. But that’s not true of all those who turn up for open mic night. This calls for backup.
I immediately message Jane and Harry.
Will: Open mic night is a bad idea for a date isn’t it? Have I made a crucial error?
Jane: ooooh who are you taking on a date? *heart eyes*
Oh god. I didn’t think this through. They’re going to interpret the multiple dates thing with Bella as something it’s not. At least, I think it’s not.
For her, anyway.
I growl softly to myself. I’m overthinking.
Will: not important. Is it, or isn’t it a bad idea?
Harry: I mean that depends if you want to see her again. Wouldn’t it be easier to just ghost?
Great. He’s no help at all.
By this time, I’m home. I toss my phone on the counter and fish a coffee capsule from the basket on the counter.
A voice behind me makes me jump. “Oh, yes please. I was just thinking I fancy a coffee.”
I sigh. It will never not be annoying that Ian has no scent, so I can’t tell when he’s sneaking up on me. When my coffee finishes pouring, I put a second cup under the nozzle and insert a second capsule. I’m still feeling just a little guilty about how badly I snapped at him the other night.
We’re quiet for a while. Ian sighs as he sips the coffee I hand him. “Did things work out with your lady friend the other night?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know. She wants to see me again. I mean I can’t believe she wants to see me again.” I run my hand through my hair. “I can’t believe any girl would want to see me again. Let alone Bella Owens.”
He blinks. “She’s really Bella Owens?”
I can’t help laughing. I laugh and laugh until I’m wiping tears from my eyes. “Yes. She’s Bella Owens.”
“I figured it was a joke I didn’t get.”
Eventually, I stop laughing. “Seriously, though. I can’t date Bella Owens, can I? I mean me. I’m not cut out to date a movie star.”
Ian’s scowl turns quizzical. “Why not?”
“Well I...I’m just me. And she’s...” I trail off, not sure how to put it into words how wonderful she is.
“Just a girl?” Ian supplies.
“She’s so much more than that.”
He takes a long sip of coffee. “Seems to me that you're over complicating things.”
“Thanks,” I mumble.
Supremely helpful, as always.
Only, I’m still thinking about what he said hours later as I toss and turn in bed. It doesn’t help I still smell like Bella and couldn’t bring myself to shower.
The coffee hasn’t helped, either.
Most of all, I wonder if Ian could be right. Am I over complicating this?
Maybe I just need to accept it’s possible she really likes me. That she really might accept me for who I am, wolf and all.
If so, then I’m the luckiest guy in the world.