Chapter 27 Savannah #2
"I said shut up! You're doing that thing where you list every possible worst-case scenario instead of focusing on what's actually happening right in front of your face!
" Emma walks around the counter and grabs my shoulders, forcing me to look at her instead of spiraling into anxiety land.
“You light up like a Christmas tree every time one of them walks into a room! "
She's right, and I hate how right she is.
Because when I strip away all my fears and excuses and logical objections, what's left is pretty terrifyingly simple.
I'm falling for Logan's steady strength and quiet protectiveness, Griff’s gruff exterior that hides the softest heart in Pine Hollow, and Xavier's quiet intensity and the way he notices things I don't even realize I need.
I'm falling for morning coffee and evening planning sessions and the absolute rightness of being surrounded by people who make me feel like I belong somewhere.
"Maybe," I whisper, because that's the most honesty I can handle right now.
"You're glowing, Savannah! Like, actually physically glowing with happiness in a way I haven't seen since..." Emma trails off, but we both know what she's not saying. Since before my parents died. Since before I learned that loving people means risking losing them in horrible, unexpected ways.
"It's scary," I admit quietly, because Emma is the only person in the universe I can say that to without dying of embarrassment.
"Good things usually are!" Emma pulls me into one of her fierce hugs, the kind that fixes everything it touches. "But you know what's scarier? Missing out on something amazing because you're too chicken to try!"
I hug her back, breathing in her familiar jasmine and sunshine scent, letting myself feel completely understood by someone who's known me since I thought boys had cooties and believed in fairy tale endings.
"When did you become so annoyingly wise?" I ask when we finally separate.
"About five minutes after I stopped being terrified that Dax was too good to be true and the universe was just setting me up for devastating heartbreak," Emma grins and picks up her champagne glass again, "Zane told me to stop spiraling, and Kai just pulled me into his lap and said, 'Breathe, omega.
' Speaking of which, I have a Xavierry!"
"Oh no."
“Yes! The universe has been waiting for all four of you to stop being complete idiots and figure out that you belong together! And my wedding is just the catalyst that's finally making it happen!"
Before I can respond to that particular piece of Emma wisdom, my phone buzzes against the counter like an angry bee.
Xavier's name lights up the screen, and my heart immediately does that stupid fluttery thing it's been doing every time one of them contacts me.
Like a teenage girl getting a text from her crush, except I'm twenty-eight and should have better control over my cardiovascular system.
"It's Xavier," I tell Emma, who immediately perks up with the kind of interest that means she's about to make this situation infinitely more embarrassing.
"Answer it! Use speaker! I want to hear his voice!"
I roll my eyes but hit the speaker button anyway because arguing with Emma when she's in full matchmaker mode is like trying to stop a freight train with positive thinking. "Hey, Xavier."
"Good evening, Savannah." His voice fills Emma's kitchen, all professional warmth and carefully controlled affection that makes my stomach do gymnastics routines. "I hope I'm not interrupting your planning session."
"Just torturing Sav with champagne and emotional revelations!" Emma calls out cheerfully. "The usual Thursday night activities!"
Xavier's laugh rumbles through the phone speaker, deep and warm and genuinely amused, and I can practically see Emma melting into a puddle beside me. The effect this man's voice has on the female population should be studied by scientists.
"Sounds appropriately terrifying. Savannah, I wanted to let you know I'll be there to pick you up whenever you're ready. No rush."
My stomach does that fluttery thing again, like a whole convention of butterflies decided to hold their annual meeting in my digestive system. "Pick me up?"
"I thought I'd save you the taxi fare.”
Emma is making faces at me from across the counter, waggling her eyebrows and mouthing things that are definitely not appropriate for public consumption.
I flip her off while trying to maintain some semblance of dignity, which is basically impossible when your best friend is acting like a demented cheerleader.
"You don't have to do that," I say into the phone.
"I'm in town finishing some errands, and I picked up those pillows you mentioned wanting for the bedroom."
Emma's eyebrow waggling reaches new heights of ridiculousness, and she starts fanning herself with a wedding program while mouthing "SO ROMANTIC" with the kind of theatrical enthusiasm that makes me want to strangle her with tulle.
“You remembered?” I manage, my voice coming out slightly higher than normal because apparently my vocal cords have forgotten how to function like a normal human being's.
"The ones from that little shop downtown. You said the throw pillows on the bed were too flat for proper back support, so I stopped by and got the ones you were looking at last week. They're in my car whenever you're ready."
I stare at the phone in complete shock because Xavier noticed that I mentioned pillows.
In passing. And he remembered, and he went out of his way to get them, and he's acting like this is completely normal behavior instead of the most thoughtful thing anyone has done for me in approximately forever.
Emma is now making exaggerated swooning motions behind me, clutching her chest and pretending to fan herself like she's having vapors, which is making it very difficult to have a coherent phone conversation.
"That's... really thoughtful," I say, and mean it more than I've meant anything in weeks. He notices things. He remembers what matters to people.
"It's practical," Xavier corrects, but there's warmth in his voice that suggests it's way more than just practical. "Text me when you're ready, and I'll be there in five minutes."
The call ends, and Emma pounces immediately like a cat who's been waiting for exactly this moment.
"HE BOUGHT YOU PILLOWS!"
"They're just pillows, Em!"
"They are NOT just pillows! They're I-noticed-what-you-wanted-and-went-out-of-my-way-to-get-it pillows! They're I-want-you-to-be-comfortable-in-our-space pillows! They're I've-been-thinking-about-you-and-what-makes-you-happy pillows!"
"They're..." I stop, because Emma's absolutely right and there's no point in pretending otherwise. He paid attention to something small that would make me more comfortable, remembered it, and followed through without being asked or making it into some big romantic gesture.
"This is it!" Emma announces dramatically, polishing off her champagne in one triumphant gulp like she's sealing some kind of deal.
"What?"
"Your grab-happiness-with-both-hands-and-don't-let-go moment!
" Emma starts clearing away our impromptu celebration supplies with purposeful efficiency.
"You're going to go home with that gorgeous, thoughtful alpha who bought you comfort pillows just because he wanted you to be happy.
You're going to thank him properly. And you're going to stop making excuses for why you don't deserve good things happening to you! "
I finish my own champagne, letting the bubbles carry away the last of my automatic protests and excuses and reasons why this is all too good to be true.
Because Emma's right about everything. She's been right all night.
I am glowing. I do light up when any of them walk into a room.
And maybe, just maybe, I'm finally ready to stop being terrified of wanting something just because I want it.
"You know what?" I stand up, grabbing my purse and jacket with sudden determination that feels like jumping off a cliff and growing wings on the way down. "You're absolutely right!"
"Of course I am! I'm getting married in two days, which officially makes me a relationship expert and qualified to give life advice!" Emma grins and pulls me into another fierce hug. "Go home, Savannah!"
"What about you? I can stay longer if you need help with anything else. We could organize more things! I love organizing things!"
"Are you kidding? Dax will be here in twenty minutes with Thai food and probably flowers he picked up just because they reminded him of me.
We're going to eat pad thai in bed while going over the final headcount, and it's going to be disgustingly romantic.
" Emma practically pushes me toward the door.
"Besides, tomorrow we have the rehearsal, Saturday is the wedding, and tonight is for going home and being stupidly happy! "
I pause in her doorway, looking back at my best friend surrounded by evidence of her perfectly planned wedding, glowing with the kind of contentment that comes from knowing exactly where you belong in the universe.
"Emma?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you. For everything. For the champagne and the reality check and the emotional intervention I didn't know I needed."
"Thank you for being my best friend and my maid of honor and the most stubborn person I know!" Emma blows me a kiss from across her kitchen. "Now go! Your prince charming is waiting with luxury pillows and probably other thoughtful surprises that will make me insanely jealous!"
I text Xavier as I walk down Emma's front steps, and true to his word, his sleek black sedan pulls up to the curb exactly four minutes later because of course Xavier is exactly on time for everything, including romantic gestures.
He gets out to open my door because apparently chivalry is not dead and lives at my fake boyfriend's house, and the smile he gives me makes my heart do actual acrobatics.