Chapter 3
CHAPTER THREE
Elizabeth
B ruce smiled easily, a bright genuine grin, clearly pleased with my offer to help on this mission.
I’d noticed it on my last visit, but the truth struck me yet again—every single person in this building was beautiful. Just, straight up. And not just on the outside, either. Maybe it was because I’d come from a fairly gray existence where baggy pantsuits and stale lighting haunted my station hours, but they were all so… full of life.
“You don’t have to do this. You’ve just gotten into town. But if you’re sure you’re comfortable diving right in, I’d appreciate it, Elizabeth.”
His tone and mien were genuine. So far, he was a say what you mean and mean what you say kind of person, though I knew as well as anyone just how lethal he was thanks to his background in the EMU.
I nodded. “Absolutely. Happy to do it. I know Eddie’s getting ready to head out of town with Bri and this strikes me as one that having a woman on board for would be valuable.”
Eddie used to be Kappa, like me, though I didn’t know her well. We’d been colleagues, crossing paths a couple of times, though not friends by any means thanks to the solitary nature of the job. Still, it didn’t take being a spy to know getting away with her famous pop star husband would be highly anticipated. She needed this break, and here I was, fully available.
Bruce knocked on his desk. “Agreed. I’ll get the details finalized in the next hour and we’ll push it to your cell. Sounds like they want to leave by Sunday morning, but again, I’ll get more to you as soon as possible.”
“Good plan. Thanks.” I stood and rounded the chair toward the open doorway when his voice stopped me.
“I know it’s only been a day, but are you settling in okay? Will that apartment work out?” He leaned his forearms on the desk.
“It’s great. Comfortable and simple.”
He chuckled. “Simple indeed. I’m afraid we haven’t given it much style, but feel free to do what you want to make it your own while you’re here.”
“Thanks.” They’d offered me the lodging as a part of my contract, and I’d had no reason to refuse them. It was a small studio in town close to All Booked Up that the company now owned and used when overseas employees came for trainings or extended trips. Avoiding the hassle of finding a temporary housing situation or footing the bill for a hotel for a week before I found an alternate location had been ideal.
Yes, my father would’ve loved to put me up. I knew this. So would Jo. But I didn’t… I needed space .
“Excellent. And are you coming to our happy hour tonight?”
I nearly tripped over the carpet. “Uh, I hadn’t planned on it. Should I?”
“No pressure whatsoever. Very casual, good chance to get to know some of the other crew, and I believe your sister will be there.”
I perked up at that. “Oh. Interesting.”
Two birds with one socializing stone absolutely spoke to my soul, so the possibility of actually showing up increased tenfold.
“Again, no obligation to be there, but it’s a good time. I’d love to see you fold in while you’re here. We’ve got a good team and we’re glad you’re with us as long as it lasts.”
He smiled, and I took the signal as my time to go, sending him a quick chin tip-up. I glanced at my watch and?—
“Oh, crap. Sorry.”
Kenny Carmichael’s hands steadied me at the shoulders.
“My fault completely.” I was the dolt not looking where she was going, anyway.
His handsome face—and let me be clear, it was obnoxiously handsome—lit up and he shook his head vehemently. “Nah, no blame game. Just an accident. It happens. Are you okay?”
I nodded, my shoulders burning with warmth from his contact. Was this man running a fever? “Just fine. You?”
“Great. I’m actually really happy to run into you. I haven’t had a chance to welcome you to Saint and say how glad I am to see you.”
He grinned and stepped back, releasing me and splaying his hands wide in a gesture that I read to mean something like, “Sorry for holding on so long.” It also drew my attention to his left hand where he was missing his fourth and fifth fingers.
That’s new, too. I couldn’t help the thought. Kenny was different in a few ways I’d noticed thus far, but this was the most overt. What happened to him? Was that why he’d gotten out of the Army before retirement?
“Thanks. Likewise. Always happy to see a familiar face in a new setting.” Okay, robot woman . I forced myself to add something else—anything else that sounded less trite than my first response. “What’s new?”
He must’ve seen my attention snag on his hand seconds ago, because he said, “Well, I lost two of my fingers, got out of the Army about ten years before I ever thought I’d leave, and moved to a state I’d never been to before, sight unseen. How ’bout you?”
His blue eyes sparkled at me, and he said it so good-naturedly, I barked out an odd half-laugh that sounded as rusty as my casual social skills. “Ha! Right. Yeah. Big changes.”
His beaming smile widened a touch. “Unexpected course of events, but crap happens. And in some ways it feels like….”
Illogically, my heart sank. I knew what was coming next. “Don’t tell me. Everything happens for a reason?”
He quirked a brow. “No. I think in some instances that’s resoundingly true. But then there’s the darkest, worst moments. Those things that most people hopefully never see, but for those of us who make a point to go into dark places and shine light on things, we can’t unsee them. For those things, it’s harsh and awful and untrue. What I was going to say is, it feels like being here, for me, was meant to be. ”
I studied him, his shiny smile gone and replaced with an expression I could only describe as peaceful acceptance.
This was new, too. Still stupidly good-looking and charming and clearly still a bit of a class clown, but also more mature. He had stories to tell—maybe always had, in fairness, since I hadn’t actually known him more than an acquaintanceship—and he’d gained some depth. Again, maybe he’d always had it, but now he seemed willing to show it. The version of Kenny I’d met five years ago had been silly and flirty, a little cocky, and just seemed so young.
These five years, however many hardships they’d thrown at him, looked good on him.
“Hmm. Sounds nice.” And though possibly construed as a throwaway response, I meant it. After everything that’d brought me here, I felt it down to my soul how enviable it was that he was so at home and right here.
When was the last time I’d felt at peace about anything?
When I’d accepted my job at the agency, I’d felt it then. I’d had this certainty about doing a job that had a purpose and would be impactful for the country and maybe even the world. I’d loved the sense that even as a twenty-two-year-old college grad I might be stepping into something that mattered. After leaving home and feeling like everything there was in chaos, though in retrospect I could admit the drama primarily came from my teenaged perspective and the hurt I didn’t know what to do with over my parents’ divorce, the path forward with the CIA and Kappa Sector had felt secure. Comforting. Possibly even a version of peaceful.
What I sensed now wasn’t peace, though it wasn’t exactly tumult. It was that eerie sense I was in-between—places, jobs, lives, realities, all of it .
“I do recommend it. But hey, I need to run in for a chat with Bruce. Can we hang later? Catch up for real?”
He stepped to the side to give me space to pass him, though the hallways weren’t all that narrow, and I stumbled over my response. “Oh, um, I’m not sure?—”
His eyes shuttered so quickly, I wouldn’t have noticed if I hadn’t been watching, then returned to their cheery friendliness.
“No worries. I’ll be at cocktail hour if you happen to be by tonight and if not, I’ll catch you another time. Have a good one.”
I nodded, because rather than being a trained agent in the intelligence community and a woman who held a master’s degree in international relations and spoke three languages, I was the girl in the hallway simultaneously stunned by this man’s golden retriever energy and my own inability to respond to him like a normal human being.
And what was that flicker of something? Disappointment? Annoyance? Maybe he really wanted me to show up tonight. That was a nice enough thought. At one time, he’d been at least a little attracted to me—enough to ask me out. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy to hold that against someone, even if he had seemed more than a little shell-shocked when I’d seen him here in the summer.
But that man?
Yeah, he was not weeping into his pillow over me, nor had he ever. I couldn’t imagine he’d ever had a bed to himself for space to do such a thing.