Chapter Twelve
Amelie
When I found out that I had a two-week suspension, I was happy.
Then I was disappointed when I discovered that being suspended in a boarding school meant that I’d still have isolated classes, but things looked up when I got assigned to spend all of my school hours in Sawyer’s company.
Plus self defence classes in the evenings.
Only, for the last two weeks, it’s pretty much sucked.
Sawyer has either been riding my ass hard - figuratively, unfortunately, not literally - or he’s been cold and distant, ignoring anything I ask or say unless it’s about school work.
It hasn’t stopped me from trying though.
I’ve been working out in my tightest outfits, undoing extra buttons on my shirt, texting him at night.
He might have blocked my number though. He’s definitely not rising to the bait.
I even broke the number one rule: I asked him what he did to get sent to Knox Academy.
I expected him to go mental at that, but he remained annoyingly calm.
I don’t know how to provoke a reaction out of him; I’d even settle for anger, like in the kitchen on my birthday.
Instead, he said that if I could knock him on his ass or kick his ass before the suspension was up, he’d tell me.
Suspension is up. Tonight is our last in isolation self-defence class. I’m going to get him. I have to. I need to know why he ended up here. Just how bad do you have to be to get a Knox sentence?
The only positive of the last two weeks has been Kalen.
I’ve been surprised by how much I like him hanging around.
He has a crazy energy that’s almost manic at times, but it’s stopped me from losing it.
I haven’t even minded the isolation, because he’s been there during every spare moment.
He’s had me doing all sorts of crazy pranks and stunts, and although he’s been there for a good time, we really have gotten close.
I don’t know if it’s a friendship, a brother-sister thing, or something more.
He calls me sis at every available opportunity, but flirts relentlessly too.
Whatever it is, I like it. I’m starting to like him.
Which is crazy, for so many reasons: I want to leave, and I’m going to try to get out of here; Smalls has my heart; I have to destroy this family to punish my mother; and I can’t fight the connection between Sawyer and I, even if he is.
Speaking of Sawyer, it’s time for our self-defence class. I tried being late a couple of times to make him mad, but he just worked me extra hard to make up for it. And not in a good way. So I’ve been nice and compliant - for the last couple of days at least.
I smooth my hands over my yoga pants and matching jacket - courtesy of Monty when I told him I had no workout gear - which I’ve teamed with only a sports bra and my trainers.
I’m not actually trying to seduce Sawyer tonight - my hair’s tied back in a messy bun and I don’t have any makeup on - this is just the most comfy outfit I have for grappling in.
Form fitting clothes give the advantage of preventing your opponent from getting a grip on you.
Apparently. It seems that no matter what I wear, Sawyer puts me on my ass every single time.
Not tonight though. I lift my chin defiantly and stare at myself.
I’m going to get what I want tonight; and tonight, the only thing I want from Sawyer, is answers.
I race to the gym knowing that, like always, Sawyer will be there first and we will have the place to ourselves. I run over so that I’m not late, and arrive panting hard.
“Oh good, you’ve already warmed up. Let's get started.”
“I suck at running,” I complain. “You’d think I’d be better at it, given my upbringing.”
“You’ve improved significantly in the last two weeks, and although your suspension is ending, our sessions are not. You’ll continue to make progress.”
Wow. For a moment I’m speechless; that’s the closest thing to a compliment I’ve gotten off Sawyer since he took our picture together and called me beautiful.
“Th-thanks,” I stammer, wrong footed by him being nice to me. I decide to make the most of this moment of harmony. “Can I ask you a question?”
“If it’s not against the rules.”
“How’s Slate?”
Sawyer hesitates and I can tell I’ve surprised him. He wasn’t expecting that.
“Why do you care?” he snaps warily.
“You said he drinks. That he wasn’t coping well…you know when.” I don’t want to push too hard and make him clam up on me again.
“He’s fine,” Sawyer replies through gritted teeth.
“Do me a favour, okay?”
“I don’t have to do you anything.”
“Just check on him. I don’t think he’s doing as okay as you think he is.”
Sawyer stares at me for a moment, assessing me like he’s trying to work out what I’m up to. Eventually though he gives in, nods once and points to the mats. Time to start work.
We start with a simple warm up and an easy defensive round of blocks. I’m definitely getting better, Sawyer is rarely able to get past my defences now in a routine like this. When it comes to actual moves though, I’m pretty useless.
“Good. Remember to keep your guard up. Let’s move on to attacks from behind.”
I think it’s pretty pointless - self-defence, I mean - as Sawyer always insists that my stance is just so, and he comes at me just right.
How unrealistic is that? When is an attacker ever going to come at me slowly, with intent, and plant his hands in just the right place for me to be able to disarm him? Stupid.
“Focus, Amelie!” Sawyer chastises me as I fail to flip him over my shoulder as expected when he ‘attacks’ me from behind.
“I can’t do it! I’m too small.”
“You can. Focus.”
He attacks again and no matter how hard I try, I just can’t flip him. I do manage to grapple with him a little this time. I try to elbow him in the solar plexus, which works, but his reaction has him cuffing my cheekbone.
“Shit! I’m sorry!” He panics, grabbing my face and turning it to check the damage. My skin burns where his five fingertips touch my face. It’s like five small fires have been lit.
“You’re okay,” he tells me softly, remorse and something else in his eyes. “Let’s try something else. Let’s just grapple for a bit.”
I work up a sweat tangling with Sawyer. I’m too focused on my task of bringing him down to be turned on by the close bodily contact.
Okay, so that’s a lie, but I’m mostly focused on beating Sawyer and not the heat of his shirtless tattooed body pressing against my exposed skin.
Only, the way he moves against me has me thinking about what would have happened all those weeks ago if Kalen’s stupid bloody call hadn’t interrupted us.
Heat pools between my thighs, making movement uncomfortable.
Probably should have worn underwear, but it’s too late for that now.
Fuck, I want him. I’ve missed his touch so much.
Kalen’s flirting is great and all, but I don’t want the promise of what might happen; I want what I already know will be explosive.
Sawyer manoeuvres me into a choke hold whilst I’m distracted, and it doesn’t help with the wetness situation down south. I give a helpless whimper.
“Amelie, you have to work harder… You know, given the upbringing you claim to have had, with such a wonderful protective brother, I’d have thought you’d already know some of this.”
His words are a sharp stabbing pain in my gut. I pull out of his grip and stare at him in dismay.
“I don’t even know where to begin with telling you what was wrong with that statement!
” I cry, angrily. “Don’t you talk about my brother; you don’t know shit!
He did teach me to defend myself. It saved my life a couple of times!
But I’m not ‘claiming’ anything about my upbringing.
I have no reason to lie; life was fucking tough, and I had to be too, if I wanted to survive. ”
“Self-defence, when taught properly, can save your life,” he lectures.
“Really? So learning this growing up would save me against an attack by a bigger, stronger, older man?”
“Yes,” he replies adamantly.
“Could it save someone from being kidnapped by six bigger, stronger, older men?” I challenge and he hesitates. “Would it have saved me from what happened after? Could a fifteen-year-old girl take on six nineteen-year-old guys, all intent on hurting her?”
“Amelie-”
“Can your stupid,” I punctuate each word with a flurry of furious punches aimed at his solar plexus. He doesn’t even try to stop me. “Self-defence lessons... prevent gang rape?!” I give one final hard shove, unleashing years of pent-up agony and rage at Sawyer.
He stumbles. Falls. Hits the floor hard. The stunned silence of the room deafens me. Holy shit…I did it! From the look on Sawyer’s face, he’s just as shocked as I am. He didn’t let me win.
“Why were you sent to Knox Academy?” I demand, standing over him with my hands on my hips. “You owe me this at least.”
I don’t see his attack coming; he swipes my feet out from under me and I go down harder than a sack of rocks.
“Fuck!” I swear when I hit my tail bone. That really fucking hurts. Tears prick at my eyes and I wonder if it’s broken. It has to be badly bruised at least.
Before I can say another word, Sawyer flips so that he’s on top of me, straddling me. All thought leaves me, along with my breath. It’s like time freezes and I can’t tear my gaze away from his slate grey eyes.
“You look really pretty today,” he says. “I like the natural, messy look on you.”
I’m floored by what can only be an actual, in my face, compliment but before I can respond, or even process, his lips descend on mine and I’m blown away.
I don’t know if it’s my imagination, but his kiss is hotter than ever.
His lips sear mine, branding and burnishing them; like he’s claiming them for himself.
There’s a possessiveness to his kiss that wasn’t there before, and I wonder if he’s making a point about Kalen.
It feels like he’s trying to remind me that he had me first, that he’s a man whilst Kalen’s still a boy.
I groan and it allows his tongue easy access into my mouth.
His kiss becomes punishing. Bruising in its intensity.
Is this a hate-kiss? It certainly feels like a crime of passion.
And it is a crime. Sawyer should not be kissing me.
We both know it. His hand finds my breast, cupping it roughly and then squeezing.
I gasp and he bites my lip harshly. My hips buck against his and his arousal presses against me.
Fuck. He wants this as much as I do. I’m scared to move and break the spell, but I so want to touch him.
I drag my nails down his bare chest and he hisses into my mouth, grinding his cock against my core.
He likes a little pain too. I just can’t imagine it being this heated with Kalen.
I want to beg Sawyer to fuck me right here, right now - I don’t care if we’re caught - but I keep quiet.
That is, until his hand slides into my yoga pants, south to my clit and brushes against it. I yelp and buck against him.
Abruptly, he pulls away, leaving me bereft.
“Sawyer... I-” I have no idea what I’m going to say.
But it turns out it doesn’t matter anyway, because he turns on his heel and storms out of the gym, without a word.
My eyes fill with unwelcome tears that threaten to spill.
The door bangs shut behind him, and the everlasting echo it creates is like a taunt, reminding me how I’m still alone and rejected once more.
Bitter tears begin to stream down my hot cheeks and I don’t do a thing to stop them.