Chapter Thirty-Four #2
“Listen to me, Amelie,” he says with some urgency.
“In a minute whoever is in that car is going to get out. I don’t know what they’re going to do or say, but it will be to get you to stay.
Just keep walking and get on that plane.
No matter what.” I nod once and then surprise myself by flinging my arms around him for a hug.
“Alright, alright,” he says, pushing me off a moment later. His cheeks are a little pink. “Get going, kid. And don’t forget you owe me.”
“You’ve got my number,” I tell him, and I mean it. I do owe him and I will settle my debts. Whatever he needs, whenever he needs it. I don’t look back, but I give him a wave over my shoulder, backpack in hand.
It’s not until my foot hits the first rung of the steps up to the door of the plane that I hear the car door opening. I’m desperate to turn around and see who it is, but I keep my promise to Baxter and begin the steady climb.
“Amelie, wait!” I’d know Kalen’s voice anywhere. I falter on the step. Be strong, Amelie, don’t turn back.
“Amelie, please,” Slate’s voice joins Kalen’s. I take another step. Then another.
“Amelie!” I hear the panic in Onyx’s voice.
“Stop!” It’s Sawyer’s command that has me stumbling. I’m so close to the top, a couple more steps and I can disappear onto the plane and be gone. Just like I wanted. Do it, take the step, I tell myself, but my feet don’t listen.
“Where is she going? Where are you going?” Kalen sounds frantic. “You can’t leave! Amelie!” Tears prick my eyes. No, no, no, I do not want to cry in front of them.
“Amelie, just hear us out!” Slate begs. It's tempting. It really is. I’m leaving - nothing will stop me - but surely it won’t hurt to hear what they have to say?
A sudden sharp blast of a horn makes me jump, and I spin instinctively to see Baxter on his motorcycle shaking his head at me. His open face helmet visor is up and he mouths to me “keep going”.
“I love you, Amelie! Please!” Kalen’s desperation causes the first tear to fall, and as hard as I try to keep my eyes locked on Baxter’s, I fail.
My gaze drops to the limo where all four Knox boys are standing staring at me.
“Amelie, I’m so sorry. I promise you it was all a misunderstanding.
Please let us put this right!” Kalen begs. Tears are streaming down his face.
“Amelie!” Slate calls, running his hands through his hair in anguish. “Our mum lied to us. We are so sorry. Don’t go. We can sort this out.” I shake my head. There’s no way they can put this right. Is there?
“I’ll never hurt you again,” Onyx promises. Three times he made a fool out of me. Why would I go back for more? Why am I still faltering though?
“Amelie, stay. We can help you. We’ll help you to get rid of Laura.
We all know what she did to you. Let us take her down.
” Kalen’s anger is palpable. I believe him, I really do.
And if I had to stay, I would take him up on the offer.
But the opportunity to leave is a few paces away.
I have to take it. I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t.
I take the final steps until I’m standing in the doorway to the plane.
I look back one last time, wanting to memorise the faces of the boys who melted my heart, broke it, stole it.
I didn’t come here looking for love - or even friendship - but damn if I didn’t find it.
..Now I just have to let it go. Let them go.
I start to turn away but Sawyer calls out. What is it about him, specifically, that has always been my weak spot?
“Amelie, please!” he cries. “I’ve quit my job to be with you. You can’t go...I don’t want to deny my feelings for you any longer.”
I hesitate, truly torn. The connection between Sawyer and I has always been hypnotic. Slate and Kalen are too easy to love, and Onyx fascinates me. But Sawyer’s words tear me apart.
One more step and I’m on my way home. Back to my family, my brother, Smalls…
I can leave Laura and Monty and their manipulations behind.
It should be a no-brainer. So why am I waiting?
Why is my heart wrung out? Why do these goddamn tears keep falling?
I dash them away angrily. I don’t want to be weak.
The rev of an engine has me jumping to my senses.
“It’s too little, too late,” I call down to the four of them. “Fuck you.”
I step onto the plane and take my seat, the stewardess jumping to close the door and perform the final checks before take-off.
I sit and stare out of the window, silent tears streaming uncontrollably down my face.
Why does this feel like the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make?
Why does it feel like I’ve just made the wrong choice?
Below, Onyx is kicking the shit out of the limo, whilst Sawyer and Slate desperately try to pull him away.
Kalen’s eyes are locked on mine and I see he’s crying as much as I am.
I’m so full of doubt, it physically hurts my chest. Damn them for doing this to me.
I was ready to go, to leave and never look back, and now they have me wishing I could stay with a few simple words and gestures.
“Fuck you,” I whisper over and over again to myself and to them. “Fuck you.”