Chapter 18—Ruby
One minute, I’m sitting down at the table with a burger on my plate next to Abigail, and the next, I see Penny pulling General’s niece, Emily, away.
I would get up and help, but Emily is a pain in the ass.
I know she’s young and just in it for the teenage lifestyle of clothes and cute boys, but damn if it ain’t annoying.
I swear I was never like that. How could I be?
When I was a teenager, my mom was going through chemo.
Boys and fashion ceased to exist at that moment.
Not that I really gave a fuck before that, or after.
I dress how I like, and I don’t give a shit what others say.
As for boys? I’m still looking for one who turns my head.
Not that I’m actually looking. Been busy with school after Mom’s death, first trying to catch up on what I missed in high school so I could graduate, then focusing on college.
And I did that. The next goal was to get the doctorate. And… well… Dad died.
The drive I had was a part of him. It’s kind of hard to find that focus again.
It’s only been a few weeks, and Abigail says I’m still in shock.
Nat says I’ll get back to school if it’s something I really want.
No one is pushing me into one thing or another.
I like that, but also hate it. I need a drive, a goal.
I feel like I’m in the middle of the sea.
On one side is a small island. It can give me cover, but who knows for how long?
But just on the other side, and a bit of a swim away, is a boat.
It’ll take some effort to get to it, and it might not work out in the long run, but it’s an option to keep moving.
College is the boat, and taking a break is the island.
Both give me a rest from what I’m doing now—treading water and barely keeping my head above it.
“Get Billy.” Penny’s words jar me out of my head.
Who the fuck is Billy?
I know I’ve been out of it. I put up a front that I think I fool most with.
Some see through it; others don’t. No one calls me out on it.
But even still, we don’t have a Billy in the club.
I get that we have a few brothers visiting from sister chapters, but not one introduced themselves as Billy.
And trust me, I’ve gotten a ton of introductions over the last few days.
Everyone wants to express their condolences, which I appreciate, but I also just want them to fuck off and let me grieve.
Or ignore everything. Both work, but I got neither.
Abigail jumps up and starts running to the back of the property. Whatever. Not my problem. Maybe another day I would care, but there’s too much going on in my life to think beyond my own issues right now.
The burger is meh at best. Not like how Dad used to cook them.
I keep eating, though. I might not know my direction, but one thing I refuse to do is just lie down and not get back up.
So I eat. Sleep. Drink water. Do what I need to do to keep my body functioning.
It’s my heart and head that stopped working. Everything else is fine.
And I can react like everyone else the second we hear a gun go off. Half the tables clear as we duck down. A second passes, and then brothers run for the front as an engine fires up.
“Get inside,” someone yells and ushers me and the other women and kids through the back.
I look around and just see scared people, but what can happen to me now? Someone else dies? We all burn and go up like smoke and ash? Honestly, it might make me feel something other than this numbness.
I don’t want others to die or to get hurt. But I’m willing to see where things go before I react to anything, sitting my ass down at the bar and reaching around to grab a bottle of beer while I wait.
Minutes go by before Wendi comes in, with a pissed-off Casper behind her and holding a gun to her head. And then I see the same for Abigail. I stand quickly. Not sure what I’m going to do, but seeing one of my best friends like this makes me want to do something.
“Don’t,” I hear the second before I feel a hand wrap around my wrist and pull me back. I didn’t even know I took a step in her direction.
I look at the hand, then follow it to an arm and shoulder, then face. Kooper. Haven’t seen him for a bit. Someone said he went to lie down or something. Guess this woke him up—whatever this is.
“Sit,” Casper barks, and both Abigail and Wendi oblige. “Have Flint lock this place down.”
Someone runs off to wherever Flint is. Probably in his little cave of justice with all the computer screens.
“For how long?” a brother, I think it’s King, asks.
“Till my bike comes back,” Domino grumbles.
My eyes go wide. Domino’s bike was stolen? Outside the clubhouse? How the fuck was that pulled off? And why are these two here, sitting at gunpoint? And where’s Penny?
Kooper lets go of my hand and grabs my beer, taking a swig before giving it back to me. I don’t protest. He needs it just as much as I do. Too many questions, not enough answers.
And waiting? Waiting is the worst.
It’s been hours of waiting. I switched to water after the second beer. It was going down way too smooth for me to not see it being an issue.
No one has been talking. Not much, anyway. I’ve moved around the clubhouse’s main area a few times. And each time I note that Kooper is close. Not following, but somehow ending up on my side of the room after a while. I refuse to think on it and just roll with it.
When I see Wendi straighten, I look at the door. Seconds tick by before Atom, Penny, and Walker come in. Then Domino runs out, and Penny goes to the bar and starts drinking.
“What’d I miss?”
I’ve got to hand it to the girl. She’s badass. She has to know guns are pointed at her, and she doesn’t seem to care. I like that about her. Not that I should. I get that she, her sister Wendi, and Abigail all did something against the club, I just don’t know what yet.
The boys start laying into her and Wendi. It seems they’re with the Crazy Eights, a group I’ve heard the brothers mention in passing but nothing more. Somehow it’s a group that the brothers get both pissed about and dread.
I’m only half paying attention till I see Wendi is looking at my friend when Casper asks why they pretended to be someone they aren’t. Why they hid themselves. What, or who, are they really here for?
“Abigail?” I say her name and watch her flinch.
I didn’t think my heart could shatter any more. But hearing it, seeing my best friend betray the club my dad and mom raised me in, is like having it broken all over again. I had no clue I could feel this lost ever again, but here I am as they keep bantering.
They say she was overlooked by the club. That she never betrayed us, just did some intel work, though nothing that had them learning more than they should. That’s what “they” say, Penny and Wendi. Who are really Jack and Billy. A cover. Just people pretending to be someone they aren’t.
I feel that. It’s kind of what I’m doing. I’m Ruby, or at least that’s what I answer to. But I don’t feel much like myself these days. Just a shell of the person I once was, when I had a family and a home to go to. Now it’s just four walls and an empty space.
Even Abigail gets a new name: Rue, a recruit for this C8 group.
Whoever the hell they are. They say more are coming too.
That this is just the beginning. It feels as if the small world I tried to keep together with tape is tearing away as they speak.
Nothing seems right anymore. And as the little salvation I still had falls away, I do the same.
I head for my room. They can deal with this without me.
I don’t need to be here. More problems are going to come, but they aren’t mine.
How can they be? I’m not even supposed to be staying at the clubhouse.
These rooms are reserved for club members and vamps, not family of dead Hounds.
If they were, Abigail would have had a room.
Maybe she wouldn’t have gotten to where she is now if we’d let her stay here.
They. If they had let her. Nothing about this club is a we anymore. I always wanted to be on the inside, but I never was. And now I feel it more than ever before.
“Ruby.”
I turn at my name and see Tommy coming down the hall. Forgot that he was held in lockdown, too, till the club figured things out.
“Yeah?”
“Want some company?” He raises an eyebrow and stuffs his hands into his pockets.
He’s cute enough. Has the charm and the arrogance that I think I would have gone for if things were different. And maybe after a while, I’ll change my mind. But not today.
I shake my head, then turn around and head to my room. I just want to shut things out for a bit. Just a little. I’ll pull myself together and go back to pretending enough for others to not notice me tomorrow.
I shut the door and lean my head back against it.
Dad would be heartbroken if he were here.
He took Abigail in after her brother died.
She was like a sister, even though she still stayed away more than not.
She said it was too hard to be around us all and not remember him.
Maybe we should have tried harder to bring her in.
She was like me, an outsider to both the club and the town.
Not fitting in. But unlike her, at least I had Dad.
But now, I’m just like her.
Wonder if I’ll betray the club too. It’s a passing thought. One I know will go nowhere. Because despite losing dad, I still grew up here. I have more good memories here than bad. My friends are here. I might be pushing them away a bit, but they’re still here, keeping me grounded in their own way.
A knock at the door makes me sigh. Mafia boy just isn’t getting the hint.
“I told you no,” I say as I open the door, then stop talking when I see who it is.
“Told who no?” Kooper’s eyes narrow. Then his arms cross. “And why?”