Chapter 31—Kooper
She’s scared. I never thought I’d see her scared, but she is. She fears this. Her and me. And what that means for her.
But she doesn’t have to be scared. I’ve got her, and I’m not letting go. But I see she isn’t ready for that. Not yet. But soon.
The way she chased after my lips told me we’re closer than I thought when we left her place this morning. I figured she’d put up a wall. And she did. But I broke it down quickly.
She’s trying to build another. To tell me a lie. But I know what I saw. I know I was her first. No man has ever gotten inside her before. And no other man ever will.
Do I wish I’d known it was her first time? No, this was better. Her wanting me and pushing past the fear and the pain to keep going all night? That’s the memory of her first time. Not the fumbled fingers in a dark room with someone unsure of themselves.
It was my first time too. The first time I let a girl on top.
Let someone else take the lead and be in charge.
We shared more than just a bed last night.
We shared our firsts. But she’s freaking out too much, what with me knowing she was a virgin and probably the fact that I just fingered her in the club, to really appreciate that. So I keep it to myself.
She’s still mad. I get it. The boys bombarded her.
I’m pissed off for her. But I’m smart enough not to go out there half-cocked without cooling down first. Leaving like that can be reckless.
She could do something rash, like drive away and not stop till she’s in Canada.
Nothing against the North Country, just not really in the mood to go someplace cold.
So I need her here, calmed down enough to at least have the sense to stay close to home.
I thought I broke her spirit for a moment. But the fire in her eyes tells me she’s still turned on, and that makes her mad. She needs to get even. To somehow get on better ground. To think she’s on top of the world for a bit.
And God as my witness, I’m willing to make the ultimate sacrifice.
“Maybe you need to see it to really understand the size we’re talking about.”
I step back, undo my belt buckle, and pop open my jeans. Her eyes follow my movements as I drag my zipper down. My dick is already fat, hard, and ready to be inside her.
“Or are you too scared?” Her eyes snap up to me, and I shrug as they narrow. “Virgins are always scared of a dick.” My smile turns wicked. “But you aren’t a virgin, right? Nothing you haven’t seen before, right? So why don’t you prove it? Prove you know what you’re doing.”
“You just want to get off.”
“Seems fair. Consider it a reciprocal exchange. You got what you wanted. Now it’s my turn.”
She stares at my barely contained dick. Even jumps a bit when I move it.
She’s completely full of shit. She has no clue what to do.
Any vamp would be pulling on my chain without me even suggesting it.
Hell, wouldn’t have to be a vamp. I don’t have a big enough ego to think I’m irresistible to women, but the vest is like a damn chick magnet.
Not even Ruby’s immune. I’ve seen her over the years. I know she looks. Especially when it’s a brother who comes in from a sister chapter. She looks all right, but she never touches. The vest might attract her, but she has enough willpower to say no to a brother.
Till me.
Not sure if she was always planning on saving herself or if it just happened. I, probably like everyone else, expected her to have experience. Not vamp level, but more than a blushing bride. I was mistaken.
A bit of hate trickles inside me for thinking that about her. No shame if a woman fucks a man, but I never imagined she’d been untouched. I assumed so much about her, just like what others do all the time.
Was our kiss her first too? When I ate her out, was that another one? What about when I took her for wings and paid? Has she even gone on a date before?
I’ve watched her. For years. It started as protection and morphed into something else.
Something more. At first, I figured she was just sneaking out and getting her time with others when I thought she was in class or with a group of friends.
Then, when I started watching closer, I assumed her focus was just on school.
Then her dad. But what if it wasn’t? What if all the expectations, all the rumors about her and the clothes she wears, are just an act?
One to fit the mold people assume so they don’t look closer?
Could I be so lucky?
Could I be blessed enough to have all her firsts and seconds, and a hundred other firsts? What was it in my past life that gave me this… this… gift? One I should cherish.
But I won’t. Not because I’m a jackass, but because she won’t want the fuss.
She doesn’t flaunt things. She doesn’t goad people.
She tells it like it is and hints at what things are that aren’t.
All her quips about sex and giving head and dating were all just for show.
Something she put on to fit into a group that lives half its life with sex on display.
She grew up in the club. Saw more of it than most people do in their entire lifetimes, and she isn’t even a quarter of her way through life yet. She did what she had to do. Either to blend or survive, I don’t know.
But she doesn’t need to pretend anymore.
Not because I popped her cherry, but because I won’t let her just exist anymore.
We all saw her. We dealt with her. But just like Abigail, we kept her at arm’s length.
She got close to us because of time and space, not because we let her in.
Not really. Not like how some of the old ladies are.
And that stops now.
The very thought makes me smirk. She sees it and must think I’m challenging her still. Calling her bluff. I’m about to step back and just say fuck the blue balls, but she surprises me.
She sinks to her knees, pulling my pants down as she goes.
Finding the flap on my briefs, she guides her skilled fingers in and pulls me out. Her hand runs up and down my length, and her thumb traces around the ridge at the top before moving over my slit.
“Try not to come too fast,” she says a second before she takes me all the way into her mouth and chokes, coughing and gagging but not releasing me.
I lock my knees to keep myself standing. Her kisses are amazing. Having sex with her is phenomenal. But her mouth? I’ve never had anything better in my life.
If she’s done this before, I don’t care. If she hasn’t, I also don’t give a flying rat’s ass. Skill or no, having her gag on my dick has me counting in Spanish, backward, to keep from blowing my load.
Her warning might have been another bullshit move or the warning it was meant to be. I can’t tell right now. I can’t tell anything. All I know is I don’t want her to stop. I can’t have her stop. I might die if she does.
I grab her head and hold tight, not directing her, but just needing something to make sure I’m in the present and didn’t die and go to heaven.
I’m so fucking close that I start chanting her name. The name of my old lady.
“Jesus, Peaches. Your mouth… fuck. So good, Peaches. Don’t stop. Never stop. Oh, Peaches.”
But then she does.
She pulls off my cock, rolls away, and is by my door a second later.
“What the hell?” My dick is still out of my pants, and I shimmy to turn. I’m confused, turned on, and starting to get mad. Really mad.
“What? You got what you wanted. I sucked your cock.”
I grind my teeth together. Never in my life have I been denied before. And from the smirk on her face, she knows that.
“What? Used to getting everything you want? Welcome to my world, asshole. Taught to me by this club.” She gestures to the walls surrounding us.
“You get half-truths. And just when you think you’re about to find peace, someone comes along and takes it away, leaving you standing there with your pants down and fucked over but with zero satisfaction. ”
She unlocks the door and opens it a second before she’s out of the room. I’m tucking myself back into my damn pants with the door still open as I chase after her.
“Ruby,” I bellow down the hall.
She turns to glare at me for a second before she rounds the corner. I quicken my pace, knowing she ain’t stopping for me anytime soon.
“Nat, we’re going. For real this time.” She gets to her friend and picks up her bag.
“Where’re you going?” I ask. Half the damn club is here, and not a single person seems to be doing anything but looking at us.
“To see Dad. Like a good little cunt.” She flinches at the word she hates more than she hates asparagus. And she really doesn’t like that stuff.
“Your dad?” Nat questions.
“Oh, right,” she huffs and looks around.
Seeing Casper, she holds his gaze while she talks to her roommate.
“You don’t know. Well, it’s not a secret anymore.
” Casper shakes his head, which she ignores as she turns back to look at Nat.
“Dad’s alive. Just got out of a coma. It was all a cover-up concocted by this place.
” Another hand movement to show which place, and with whom the blame sits.
All of us. “He’s out of it now. Everything is fine, except he doesn’t remember me or Mom and wants to get his dick wet.
So I’ve got to go play nice with him and his new side dish to make sure the club’s beloved brother doesn’t get worse or something.
’Cause we wouldn’t want him to suffer. Who gives a fuck about anyone else as long as he’s alive and kicking. ”
“Ruby,” Casper barks. His face is as red as a beet.
She turns and has her mouth open to snap back, but Billy draws her attention as she walks into the clubhouse with Jack in tow. I shake my head, anticipating the shitstorm we’re about to have as the tide shifts and Ruby’s anger moves to a new target.
“Woo, did it just get chilly in here, or is it me?” Jack half jokes as she looks around and sees everyone not talking, with Casper and Ruby standing on either side of the room and me halfway between.
“I think it might be me,” Billy says, as she doesn’t miss the glare Ruby isn’t hiding that well each time she looks at her.
“Something on your mind, Ruby?” Girl definitely has balls, thick as steel.
Not only for having to deal with Casper and his dominant ass, but to call out Ruby right away and not wait for some of the tension to die down.
“A lot, actually. But since I’m not fucking the president, I have to keep my mouth shut. Unlike you,” Ruby sneers.
Billy looks at Casper, and it seems Ruby isn’t the only one mad at her. Casper’s glare doesn’t dissipate as he catches his old lady’s eye, and I see Billy’s shoulders drop as if realizing it.
“Law, right? Rue say something?” No one nods, but the unspoken is enough to say it all. She takes a step in Ruby’s direction. “Look, I’m sorry—”
“Save it. Tell your sad story to someone who gives a damn. And that ain’t me.”
“Hey,” Jack barks and steps in front of her sister as if she needs to protect her.
When we all know that no one will lay a hand on an old lady.
Even Ruby. She might want to hit Billy, or all of us, but she won’t.
“Billy only told me and Rue to have us keep an eye out. Not only on your dad, but on you too. You’ve got people after you who you need to watch out for.
We made the call. Not the Crazy Eights. They would have told us to forget the protection and care about ourselves.
We have our own threats to worry about. Bigger than some girl’s daddy who doesn’t love her anymore.
So get off your fucking high horse and look around.
This place, all these people? They did it to protect you.
To care for you. You think they do that easily?
Fuck no. You think they care about me? About Rue?
Hell, Billy would be out on her ass if she wasn’t with Casper.
No one in this place cares if we live or die, but they do you.
So stop throwing your pity party and do the right thing. ”
“Right thing?” Ruby’s head twitches as she looks around at us—at all of us—nodding as she goes.
Jack, a bit harsh in her words, said what’s been said behind closed doors. What’s been whispered about. Not by me, but by others. And those who don’t meet Ruby’s eye as she looks around are the ones who agree. And Ruby sees that. She sees everything.
“Right. Got it. Let’s go, Nat.” She starts to walk away. “Give my room to someone who matters. Give it to Jack for all the fucks I give. I won’t be back,” she tosses over her shoulder as she reaches the door.
“Ruby,” I call out to her as she pushes the door open and Nat goes through first.
She looks at me, and I see the sadness in her eyes. “What? No Peaches?” She shakes her head as if she’s disappointed in me. “How quickly the tides turn. Find someone else to fuck, Koop, because it ain’t me. Not anymore.”
With those parting words, she walks out, and the door swings closed.
I stare at the door, hoping for her to come back through it as I feel every eye in this place turn on me.
“You fucked Ruby?” I hear the anger in Bass’s voice as I look at him, then see half the damn brothers rise, one after another. Their anger is clear in their unison against me.
I don’t deny it. And they don’t need me to say it.
And when the first fist comes at me from the VP, I welcome it.