Chapter 29
CHAPTER
TWENTY-NINE
BIANCA
I dream of my parents and sister that night. A vivid dream, not a nightmare like I used to have when I was younger. This dream is different.
I am in a beautiful meadow on a sunny day, wandering alone and enjoying the peace and stillness. I bend down to pick a wildflower, and when I stand back up, my parents and sister are there, holding hands, so happy to see me. I run to them, hug them, relish the feeling of them in my arms.
I cry, but they are tears of joy because we are reunited. They are alive and well and so happy to see me. The love between us is still so real, palpable—the familiar way Dad envelopes me in his arms with Celeste pressed between us, my mother’s perfume, floral and light, the warmth from her body.
“I’m so happy to see you,” I cry. “I miss you so much.”
“I know, mi amor, I know.” My mother kisses my forehead. “But I am still with you. Every day.”
“How is that possible?” I sob.
“Can’t you feel us with you?” She smiles. “We are still here. And we want the best for you.” She strokes my cheek, love shining in her eyes. And then she points to a lone figure walking towards us through the tall grass.
It takes a moment for my eyes to adapt to the bright sunshine, but once they adjust, I see who is approaching. Daniil. Looking as handsome as ever, as devastating as always. I want to run to him, but I don’t want to leave my parents.
“Mama,” I say, my heart suddenly heavy. “I’ve ruined everything. He’s going to find out what I did soon, and he’ll hate me.”
“No, sweetheart.” She takes both of my hands and stares into my eyes as she so often did in life. “It will be all okay. You’re going to make it okay.”
As Daniil gets closer, I turn to my mother. “But he’s mafia. Is this the man you want for me? Really?”
“It’s not about what I want, it’s about what you want.” Her hand lands on my heart. “And only you can answer that.”
As quickly as my family appeared, they disappeared like mist off a lake, and I find myself wrapped in Daniil’s arms, enveloped in his heat, consumed by his smell.
When I open my eyes, sunlight floods in through the windows, and like in my dream, Daniil is cradling me into his chest, the safest place in the world.
And just like that, what I need to do next is clear as day.
I’m no longer going to be a pawn. Somehow, I am going to make this right.
At three o’clock sharp my phone rings. I stare at the screen for a moment, hands shaking, because I know whatever news Deidre has for me will change everything. I close my eyes, back pressed into the bathroom wall, and with one final deep breath, answer the phone.
“Deidre. What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” Her cold voice huffs down the line. “That’s the problem. We have nothing. The Kozlovs talk about the weather, they talk about their fitness routines, they talk about restaurants, but what they don’t discuss at all is business,” she huffs. “They know, somehow they know.”
I shake my head furiously even though she can’t see me. “They don’t,” I insist. “If they found anything, I’d know about it.”
“Would you?” Her voice drips with doubt.
“Certainly, if they suspected me.”
Restless energy zips across the line between us. “They must have another office, another place where they actually conduct their mafia business. At the casino and home, they keep it all above board.”
This moment was inevitable from the very start. The moment where I choose to either twist the knife or simply step away. I’ve betrayed Daniil a thousand times over, but miraculously the feds still have nothing. This is my only chance at redemption.
“If they do, I don’t know about it.” The lie slips as smoothly through my lips as butter.
I’m done being a lapdog for the feds. I am done being strung along by their empty promises.
From here on out, I’m firmly Team Kozlov.
As difficult as it’s going to be, I’m going to come clean to Daniil tonight.
He deserves to know everything, the full truth.
And although my stomach is a riot of nerves when I consider how he will react, I owe him transparency.
And maybe in time, he’ll help me exact the revenge I’ve been seeking for most of my adult life.
“My bosses are out of patience,” she sniffs. “Soon they’ll find another way to get to the Kozlovs, and if that happens, the case against your uncle disappears.”
“They’re not the only ones out of patience. How long have you had to prove my uncle was behind my family’s car accident? I handed you the evidence, everything you need—”
“Everything we have is circumstantial,” she interrupts harshly. “We’ve been through this.”
The familiar burn of anguish climbs up my throat, and I have to swallow the emotions down. Five years has done nothing to ease my pain. It may as well have happened yesterday.
“I can’t work with you anymore,” I say, fighting to steady my voice. “I’m done.”
There’s a tense silence on the line, followed by a defeated sigh. “I want to help you, Bianca. You know I do.”
“We must have different definitions of help in that case.”
“There’s something you should know,” she responds, a hint of desperation in her tone. “We intercepted a call Jorge made to your uncle a day ago. They mostly spoke in code, but Jorge said that they’d—and I quote—‘be able to take over the Kozlovs’ shipping routes soon.’ What do you know about that?”
It takes me a long moment before I remember to breathe, because if she’s saying what I think she’s saying, this could be detrimental for the Kozlovs. “Why are you telling me this?” I ask.
“To remind you to be patient. We can still get your uncle. If they start shipping cocaine, working together, we’ll have something solid—something that will hold up in court.”
A full-body shiver racks my body. Fuck Deidre and her empty promises. “Too little too late.”
She sucks in a sharp intake of breath. “You’re not done until we say you’re done. We make the rules. That’s how it works.”
With my hands shaking, and my heart in my throat, I stand my ground. “Do your best,” I threaten, because tonight I’m setting the world to rights. I’m choosing Daniil.