Chapter 34
CHAPTER
THIRTY-FOUR
DANIIL
Andrei is a hell of a boxer. I don’t know why I insisted he spar with me other than the fact I need to rid myself of this manic energy before I self-destruct.
Maybe he knows that, because without hesitation, he comes for me, light on his feet, throwing a series of lightning-fast jabs followed by a mean right hook.
But I know how he fights, and I anticipate his moves, blocking the jabs and ducking the right hook, which makes him bare his teeth. A feral smile.
“Look at you, brat. It’s as if you’ve learned to actually fight.”
“Better believe it,” I snarl, which makes him laugh until I come back at him with a vicious uppercut that catches Andrei right under the ribs.
He lets out a low hiss, but it doesn’t stop him from advancing on me, his chin tucked low and eyes dancing with challenge.
I want nothing more than to pound him into the ground, simply because all this pent-up energy is going to be the death of me.
It’s been two days since I dropped Bianca off at the penthouse, leaving her locked up high in the tower like Rapunzel, but not for one minute have I forgotten about her.
Night and day, she’s the only thing on my mind.
Eris and I are like two lovesick fools wandering the halls of the Kozlov estate at all hours, pining for a five-foot-nothing bombshell that crashed into my life and changed me forever.
The only thing that’s helped is planning Emilio’s downfall. We haven’t made a move yet, but we’re putting our assets in play, gathering intelligence, waiting for the right moment to strike. For now, we’ve continued on with the Zegas as if all is normal. We don’t want them to see us coming.
I haven’t told Bianca our plans to destroy her uncle. Not yet, anyhow. I can’t face her, because I know if I do, I’ll crumble at her feet, forgive her every sin. My will to punish her is waning; more and more, staying away from her feels like I’m punishing myself.
I’m a goddamn mess.
The momentary distraction costs me. Andrei’s fist connects with my jaw, snapping my head back before I right myself, anger boiling to the surface. Faster than I can retaliate, he advances on me again with a cross punch that I bob in time to avoid.
“Fuck this,” I announce, ripping the boxing gloves off my hands and throwing them to the floor. “I can’t do it.”
Andrei holds up his hands in surrender, slowly unlacing his gloves. “If you don’t feel like boxing, just say so.”
“I can’t kill her.” I don’t know why I ever thought I could. Days earlier it seemed like the only way forward. Her betrayal cut me like a knife, and I was under the false impression that feelings can be controlled, like water from a tap. But with Bianca, I can’t turn it off.
“I know.” He leans against the ropes, looking a bit too pleased with himself. “I never thought you would.”
I rake my hands through my hair, looking around the boxing gym as if I can find my salvation within these four walls. “I’m fucked.” I sit down heavily on the side of the ring, and long for a cigarette I haven’t smoked since my teen years. Just something to release the pressure.
A moment later, Andrei sits beside me, releasing a heavy sigh. “Welcome to the club. It doesn’t get better. You’re a ruined man now.”
I don’t know whether to laugh or sob at his admission. Andrei, the toughest motherfucker I know, is admitting that Georgia has him wrapped around her finger, baby toe, thigh … all of it, really. And I’m no better.
“What am I going to fucking do?” I ask, throwing my empty water bottle in defeat. “She’s a liability, you said so yourself.”
A caustic smile graces his lips, and he reaches for a towel to mop up the sweat on his brow.
“Maybe we see things too cut-and-dried. Kira has argued her case, and Georgia gave me a fucking earful about it when I spoke to her last night.” He frowns, as if he doesn’t like what he’s about to admit.
“The pakhan in me wouldn’t hesitate to slit her throat, but as a family man, I understand why she did what she did.
I would have done the same, and you would have, too. ”
“She could have come to me. She knew how I felt … that I would have done anything for her.”
“She did come to you, Daniil. Maybe not on your timeline, but she did.” Andrei rises, slinging his towel around his neck just as Yulian comes careening into the room. The intensity in his eyes sets off waves of anxiety.
“What is it?” I demand.
Andrei’s expression is thunderous. “Georgia?” It’s one word but it holds all the meaning in the world.
“Georgia is fine, it’s Bianca.” Yulian’s dark eyes meet my own. “She’s gone.”
Panic shoots through me like a superhit of drugs in my veins.
“What do you mean gone?” Andrei growls. “The penthouse has security, there are guards everywhere.”
“She had help escaping.”
“Escaping?” Frustration claws up my throat—I feel as if I’ve wandered into a funhouse where reality is stretched and distorted, and I’m not sure how I will find my way back to normal.
A muscle ticks in Yulian’s jaw as he pulls a piece of paper from the inside pocket of his jacket. He hands it to me. “From Bianca. She left it for you.”
Daniil,
I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused you. I’ve never been in love before you, maybe that’s why it took me so long to notice how madly and deeply I’d fallen. If I could go back and do things differently, I would.
Know that.
The one mercy I can offer you is that I’ve taken my fate into my own hands.
The terrible decision to let me live or die is no longer yours.
I’m going to get my revenge. I’ll be the one to steal the last breath from my uncle’s body, to watch the life bleed out of him.
I probably won’t live long after that, but it will be worth it.
I’ve told Jorge to come and get me, to take me back to my uncle’s compound in Colombia. He thinks I want him back—but I want to see him dead, too. Jorge and my uncle.
My only regret is that I didn’t listen to my heart sooner. If I had, I would have realized that you were my greatest ally, that you would have helped me get revenge more swiftly and brutally than the FBI ever would have. Which is what I want. Hindsight is a bitch.
I love you,
B
I jolt to my feet, turmoil consuming me from the inside out. A sickening crack fills the air as I take a swing at the wall closest to me, but I need to feel the pain. It’s the only thing that can ground me right now.
I’m responsible for this.
I’m the reason Bianca has sacrificed herself.
Because of me, because I’m a hardheaded asshole who refused to give her an ounce of softness.
Even worse, I never told her the one thing that would probably make a difference.
That I am going to give her uncle exactly what that motherfucker deserves—a slow, painful death where I make him recite his every wrongdoing and sin before I spill his guts at my feet.
But my stupid stubborn pride got in the way, and now I’ve lost her forever.