Chapter 19 #2
Her first orgasm hits almost immediately, as I knew it would.
But this is not the one that’s going to launch her into space.
We’re just getting warmed up. “What a good girl you are.” I lean over her, allowing her a quick reprieve as I kiss up and down her spine.
“You milked my cock so fucking perfectly. And now you’re going to soak me in your cum. ”
“I can’t,” she sobs. “That was … too much.”
“You can and you will.”
I stand up straight, notching her hips back in place.
But this time, as I drive into her, I force her upper body down against the unyielding rock, knowing with every thrust, her nipples scrape on the ground.
She tries to adjust her position, but I don’t allow her to.
“Take it,” I whisper, my touch harsh, but my words meant to be soothing. “I’ll make it good.”
She grunts but holds herself in place. When I reach forward to trap her clit between my thumb and forefinger and squeeze, her whole body jolts as if she’s been electrocuted. “Oh god, Leo.”
“That’s right. This is probably a good time to pray.
” And then I unleash myself inside of her.
I can feel the tension in her body mount, the thrusts, my fingers rubbing and squeezing her clit, the way the tips of her breasts scrape on the floor.
Her pussy contracts hard, hurtling me towards my own release.
But I need to hold off, just long enough for—
“Oh fuck, oh fuck.” Alyona bucks up, but I hold her in place, my fingernails digging into her hips. I hammer into that one spot again and again until she screams and comes around my cock, soaking me in her juice. She looks back towards me, her eyes filled with shock.
“It’s okay. That was a G-spot orgasm.” I reach down between us, where my cock is still flush inside her pussy, and drag my finger through her cum. Bringing it to my mouth, I lap up her taste, and it’s exactly what I need to push me over the edge.
A raw energy radiates from my core, seeping into every limb, every muscle of my body before the orgasm slams into me like a tidal wave.
I yell out as I release inside of her—the thought that it’s Aly and there is no barrier between us makes me come so much harder.
It takes minutes before I can stand upright and start to collect my thoughts.
Aly doesn’t say anything, and I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.
She’s exhausted and overwhelmed, I imagine.
When she pulls away from me and makes an attempt to crawl out of the pool, I stop her.
I knew if we were ever together again, it would be intense, but I didn’t expect it to be like this.
“Shh,” I soothe. Turning her around to face me, I cradle her into my chest. “Are you alright?” I search her hooded eyes for a sign she’s not drowning in regret.
“I don’t know what happened … I let go. It felt like I …” She looks mortified, and I have the urge to take away all her pain. To hold her in my arms and carry her out of this cave and make it all better.
“You didn’t.” I nuzzle my forehead against hers. “You squirted. It happens sometimes with a G-spot orgasm, the piercing helps it along.”
“Oh,” she breathes. “That was … intense.”
“I know.” I reach down to the cool water between us, scooping it up and using it to clean between her legs. “Just let me take care of you. Will you?” I ask, before planting a kiss on her lips.
She looks conflicted but then says, “That’s not what this is. We agreed it’s casual—”
“No.” I cut her off. “We agreed that we have an end date. When you are safe, and this is all over, we’ll part ways.
” I nearly choke on the words. Even though I agreed to it, uneasiness fills my gut.
“But you and me, we don’t do casual. While we’re together I’m going to fuck you hard and make you sing, take care of you, and do all the things …
” I don’t know how to finish that sentence.
Do all the things I’ve dreamed of doing for years? I settle for, “You need.”
Her mouth tightens, and she looks unsure, like she’s about to agree to some life-and-death prospect. But I don’t care. If I only have this short time with her, I’m not holding anything back.
“Okay,” she finally agrees. “But I’m serious, Leo, this won’t ever be more than sex. I won’t be …” She stops herself, biting her lip, her eyes cloud over, and it pierces my soul like a dagger.
I know exactly what she’s about to say—she won’t be destroyed by me again.
If she only knew.
It’s a nightmare I also lived through once.
And barely survived.
“Aren’t you a sight,” I groan. Aly is in the hot tub on the back deck of our stateroom, soaking completely naked.
We’ve only been back on the yacht for half an hour, long enough for me to check any important voice messages and grab us some food.
After what I put her through, sustenance is definitely needed.
“Mmm.” She sinks deeper into the bubbling water, her expression almost half-drugged. “This is exactly what I needed.”
Guilt tightens my throat. I was hard on her today. Rough with her. Even though that’s how she loves it—rough and dirty—I should have been more careful.
“Are you feeling a little tender?” I ask, stripping off my swimsuit and sinking into the hot water beside her.
She licks her lips and gives me a lazy grin. “A bit.” She seems almost shy now, after all we just did. “I haven’t been taken like that in a long time.”
“Was it okay?” I run a hand down her cheek, and search her clear blue eyes, needing to know I didn’t hurt her. After seven long years, it was a struggle to control myself.
“It was a lot better than okay.” She lowers down into the water and lets her eyes flutter shut. “It was … well, fuck it. I don’t want to give you a big head.”
“Too late for that, baby. You know what they say, big head—”
“Big brains,” she tosses out with a saucy grin.
“Something like that.” With a gentle touch, I guide her face towards mine and brush my lips against hers.
I never imagined I’d get a chance to be with her again, even if it is for a short time.
I’ll take any scraps she’s willing to throw me.
“So,” I say breezily, “Does this mean I get to share a bed with you tonight? The couch in my office is getting mighty uncomfortable for a man of my size.”
Her laugh is throaty and warm. “I guess. As long as you’re not still a cover hog.”
“What!? When was I ever a cover hog?” I am a total cover hog, still love to wrap myself up like a sausage roll, the only difference is now there’s no one to steal the covers from.
“You’re telling stories.” And then because I can’t help it, I pull Aly onto my lap, enjoying having her close even if my cock twitches when her ass brushes against my bare skin.
“I am not. I would know, we spent enough nights wrapped up in each other.” As soon as the words are out of her mouth, I sense the shift. “Anyways,” she clears her throat, “are you telling me that girlfriends haven’t complained about your cover stealing?”
I pause, my hand reaching out to guide her chin, demanding she meets my eyes. “There hasn’t been anyone else,” I say, unsure how she’s going to take the news, but hey, it’s the truth. “I haven’t slept in the same bed as anyone since you.”
She shakes her head like what I’m saying is impossible. “How could that be? You’ve had no girlfriends? No one serious in your life since …?”
Yep, and here it is. “Not since you.” I stare at our hands entwined under the water.
“The brotherhood is demanding, like a beast that constantly must be fed. I don’t have the time or energy for a relationship.
” The lie sizzles between us. I could make time if I wanted to.
Andrei, Daniil, and Yulian did. But I’m not interested in anyone else.
Not when I had everything I could ever want and lost it because I was weak.
And yet, here I am in a Jacuzzi with the only woman I want, and the only one I can never have.
Alyona breaks contact with me, floating over to the other side of the tub and looks out towards the endless horizon. There’s no beginning or end point, it’s the same vista for as far as the eye can see. Much like my life. No matter what direction I look in, it’s endless nothingness.
Until now.
Until Aly showed up like a streak of lightning—the empty void I’ve lived in is now so obvious it steals the breath from my chest.
“What’s the expression … You made your bed, now lie in it.
” Aly cocks her head, bobbing in the water across from me.
“I hope you’re happy, Leo, I really mean it.
I hope your position in the brotherhood is everything you wanted.
” She bites the inside of her cheek, as if it’s costing her to say what she’s about to.
“I was angry with you for a long time, but I’ve had a realization recently.
You were young—we both were—but you were too young to make a decision like that, one that would affect all aspects of your life.
I don’t understand what happened, but I do forgive you. ”
My stomach is in knots, my breath shallow.
Of all things she could say to absolutely destroy me, it’s this.
She forgives me when what I did was unforgivable.
Self-loathing fills my gut, but I push it down.
I can’t stand the distance between us, so I approach her, caging her against the side of the tub.
And then I tell her the truth, one that I’ve kept long buried. “I don’t forgive myself. I never will.” Not even close. Her eyes search mine, confusion swirling in her irises. I hate that I have to be so cagey, but that’s all I can say without opening Pandora’s box.
“It was a long time ago, Leo. We were kids. It was barely more than a summer fling—”
“It was a lot more than a summer fling,” I spit.
Her breath catches when I grab her chin and force her blue eyes on me, pain etched in their depths.
“And it doesn’t mean that I didn’t hurt you.
For that, I am endlessly sorry. If I could have made a different choice …
” But there was no choice. I wasn’t given a choice.
I’m on perilous ground here, because she can never know that, so I veer into safer territory.
“Does this mean you won’t be shooting me daggers at every family event and holiday from now on? ”
She snorts. “I’m sure we can be civil with each other from now on. Yulian will be relieved. He never really understood what the beef was between us. I told him you snapped all my Barbie dolls’ heads off when we were kids, and I still haven’t forgiven you.”
If only it were that simple, I could fix everything that lies in ruins between us.
But since I can’t, I offer her the one thing I can.
“I’m glad we were able to have this conversation.
But you know what I’m really happy about, butterfly?
” She raises her eyebrows, waiting for me to continue just as my hand snakes under the water, lightly brushing my fingers between her slit.
“I’m really, really glad I got to fuck you again.
Because you soaking my cock today will stand as one of the highlights of my life. ”
Despite the steaming hot water, a shiver works its way through her. She’s as affected by me as I am by her. “And I’m not done with you yet. Whatever time we have together, I want to make it count. And that means giving you so many orgasms you won’t be able to walk straight.”
“Jesus.” She bites her lip, her eyes darkening with lust. “That piercing of yours … is it supposed to do that?”
I bark out a laugh. “Do what? Make you squirt all over me? According to the Kama Sutra, this kind of piercing enhances female pleasure.” A flirtatious grin dances on my lips. “And it’s especially useful for G-spot orgasms.”
“I thought the G-spot was a myth, like Bigfoot or a comfortable pair of high heels.”
I cock an eyebrow at her suggestively. “Well, you tell me … was that a mythical orgasm I gave you?”
She pretends to think about it. “No, I suppose that was as real as it gets.” She pauses for a moment, her eyes flicking away before they meet mine again. “Why did you get the piercing?”
“After you, every encounter left me feeling empty, unfulfilled. I got the piercing to try and … I dunno, feel something. Anything more than numb.” I run a thumb over my bottom lip.
“I got it at the same time I got this,” I say, pointing to the butterfly hovering over my heart.
She’s noticed it, I know she has, despite the fact that she hasn’t asked me about it.
“When I realized it was all I had left of you.”
Her eyebrows draw together, a frown pulling at the corners of her mouth. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because it’s true,” I say simply. Maybe I’m an idiot for telling her all of this, but some weird, twisted side of me wants her to know.
She sighs and stands up. Stepping out of the Jacuzzi, she grabs a towel from the ledge and wraps herself up in it. I’m not sure if I killed the buzz we have going, but she saunters towards the bedroom and throws me a beckoning glance over her shoulder.
“You coming?” she asks. “I’m starved.” I don’t know if she means for food or sex, or maybe both, but it’s not like she has to ask me twice, I am right behind her.
Willing to follow her to the ends of the earth.