Chapter 21
CHAPTER
TWENTY-ONE
ALYONA
“Can you pass the bread, please,” Andrei says from beside his father near the head of the table. I smile politely and pass over the basket. Across from me, Leo makes a noise of strangled pleasure, but covers it up under a cough.
Pakhan gives him a stern look. “Leonid, do you have something stuck in your throat?”
“I’m fine,” Leo grits, stilling my foot with his hand under the table.
But I’m only getting him back for last night, when he fingered me and demanded I come for him in the cloakroom at a fundraising gala that we all attended.
Anyone could have walked in on us, making it both thrilling and terrifying, but damn, did I come hard.
Leo shoots me a look from across the table, one that says I’m going to get you back, and it’s going to be so sweet.
Since I’ve tortured him enough for one night, I lower my foot from his raging hard cock pressed tight against his jeans.
Coming in his pants at a family dinner wouldn’t be a good look.
I spear a roasted carrot with my fork as Yulian and Daniil discuss who they want to win the World Cup this year, with Andrei jumping in to offer his opinion.
It’s nice to have everyone home to enjoy a normal Sunday dinner, even if it’s just for a short while.
They all return to Russia next week. Andrei and Yulian to finish their training, and the pakhan to attend to various business matters.
From across the table, Serge Kozlov regards me while slowly chewing a piece of steak.
Although my father was the right-hand man to the pakhan, the two couldn’t have been more different.
Serge is severe and stern, unlike my father, who was always ready with a smile.
Maybe it was their contrasting dispositions that made them work well together.
“Alyona,” he says in that intimidating voice of his, and I sit up straight in my seat. “I’m happy to hear you’re taking time to seriously consider your options. Your future.” He reaches for his wineglass before adding, “Your father would have wanted you to get a good education.”
Bitterness catches in my throat at the mention of my father.
His absence from my life burns deep even six months later.
More so watching my mother fade away. She doesn’t get out of bed some days, and when she does, it’s like a ghost is in the house.
The pakhan is kind to allow her to live here, though I imagine it has to do with the guilt he feels that my father took a bullet meant for him, or at least that’s what Leo tells me.
In my parents’ absence, no one is too focused on what I’m doing. I’m free to live outside of the bratva, which is what I want—to distance myself from this world of violence and power games, and all the stupid pointless deaths that are the result of it.
I plaster on a smile and nod politely. “Yes, I am thinking carefully about what’s next for me.
There are a few options I am exploring.” Truthfully, while I’ve been accepted into several colleges, I’ve yet to make a decision.
With my summer wholly consumed by Leo, thoughts of school and internships have been pushed to the back burner.
Serge gives me a curt nod. “And what is it that you are considering?” he asks, sitting back in his seat, intense dark eyes drinking me in.
I take a small sip of water, the cool liquid steadying my nerves. “I am interested in a career in fashion. I’m deciding between Parsons School of Design in the city or doing an internship with a designer in Paris before I commit to a two-year degree.”
My eyes dart to Leo, who seems to be hanging on my every word, a frown on his lips. We haven’t really talked about what happens after this summer, but there’s nothing much to discuss. He’ll take the oath and earn his stars, and I’ll move on to the next phase of my life.
“Go to Paris, sis,” Yulian says between sips of wine.
“You’re young and you have your whole life to live in New York.
A year or two in Paris will be fun. Exactly what you need.
” What he means is that I need to escape the sadness that has hung over our family for the last six months.
But he doesn’t know that life hasn’t been all sad for me.
Leo is the ray of sunshine poking through the clouds.
He’s kept me going through the hardest period of my life.
“Yeah, maybe,” I respond, shrugging. “I’m going to take a few more weeks to decide.”
“No need to rush your decision,” Leo grumbles, glaring at Yulian, who seems completely oblivious. “You don’t even like French food anyways.”
Huh? Is Leo bothered that I might be moving on soon?
Moving far away? The thought that he might see me as more than a summer fling sends a spark of excitement through me.
My feelings for him have intensified too, in these last few weeks he’s become my everything.
The idea of leaving him behind rips at my chest, even if I know it’s necessary.
“They have American food in France, idiot,” Daniil snorts. “They even have McDonald’s in Paris.”
“What do you consider American food?” Andrei smiles, turning to Daniil. “Like french fries?”
“Nah, like Big Macs. French fries are obviously French.”
Yulian rolls his eyes and fixes me with a look. “The point is food should be your last consideration. You’re young, not tied down to anything or anyone, you should be experiencing life. Pursuing what you love.”
“Of course, I know,” I say a little too quickly. I’m distracted by the intensity coming off Leo, like a storm brewing. I give him a quick shake of my head. He’s being obvious, getting all sulky like this.
“Daniil, put your phone away,” Serge snaps. It’s a pretty hard-and-fast rule that there are no electronics at the dinner table. Naturally, Daniil is always the one to break that rule.
“I was just looking up the McDonald’s menu in France. Jeez.”
The pakhan ignores him, still focused on me. “Alyona, your brother is right. Paris is a fine idea. And if that’s where you choose to go, I have connections. I’ll make sure you get into any school, or secure any internships you’re interested in.”
“Thank you, pakhan, that’s very kind.” But when my eyes track up to meet his, Serge’s gaze is lasered on Leo, who is too busy studying me with a clouded expression.
My stomach drops. Leo is being so obvious; if he’s not careful, his father will suspect something’s going on between us. He’s already warned Leo against distractions before taking the oath.
Even I can admit I’m a distraction. Not just the sex.
The way he sneaks out of training early so we can go on a bike ride, or the fact that we often stay up all night, talking and exploring each other.
But I’m also not convinced that this is a bad thing.
It’s like his last taste of freedom before he takes on the heavy responsibilities of being a vor.
Leo stands abruptly, his shoulders tight as he says, “I need to take care of something. I’ll be gone for a few hours.”
“Leo, you haven’t finished your dinner,” I hiss.
Storming out of the room now will make it obvious he’s upset about something, which will lead to questions.
But when I look around the table, our brothers are already deep into their own conversation.
The only one paying attention to Leo’s outburst is the pakhan.
“Go,” his father directs, an icy calm coating his words, “you clearly need to blow off some steam.” I don’t dare steal a glance at Leo or anyone else for that matter. Instead, I focus on the food in front of me.
“What crawled up his ass?” I hear Yulian mumble to Daniil.
“Girl trouble, I bet. Dude hasn’t gotten any in a while.”
I swear a pea gets lodged in the back of my throat, and I start to cough, pounding on my chest. All eyes track to me as my face turns red. The pea dislodges in no time, but I still use it as an excuse to get the hell away from everyone’s curious glances.
“Just need some more water,” I choke out, jumping from my chair and heading to the kitchen. No one questions why I didn’t just gulp the water in front of me at the table, and for that I’m grateful, because I honestly don’t know what I’d say.
Leo comes to me that night as I hoped he would. It’s past midnight, but I can’t sleep. I’m sitting up in bed reading, though my eyes continually dart to my phone, hoping for a text from him. I’m worried sick, wondering where he is and what’s going through his head.
I’ve prepared myself for all possibilities.
Maybe he wants to break things off with me.
Or maybe he’s ready to confess his feelings for me have grown stronger, and he can’t ignore them anymore.
I think the most-likely scenario is that he’s just as lost and confused as I am, looking for answers that neither of us have.
Suddenly, the door to my room swings open, and Leo is there. His eyes immediately lock onto mine from across the room. There’s a rawness about him, a vulnerability in his expression that I’ve never seen before.
I can tell he’s been on his bike. The wind has styled his dark hair into unruly waves, and his leather jacket is slung over his shoulder.
I slide the covers off me and kneel on the bed, an invitation to step inside. Without missing a beat, he tears off his shirt, striding towards me. I follow his lead, hurriedly stripping off my tank top and sleep shorts.
“Fuck,” he breathes, pushing me down flat on my back. “I need to taste your pussy right now.” I get it, he needs to feel the physical connection between us. I do too.
He leans over me, dropping a trail of kisses down my body, between my breasts, over my belly, straight south until his head hovers between my spread legs. He glances up at me one final time before he hooks his arms under my thighs and spreads me wide.