Chapter 30
CHAPTER
THIRTY
ALYONA
The room smells like a mix of antiseptic and stale air, the heavy scent of sickness clinging to every surface. The walls seem to close in on me, suffocating and oppressive. I look at my mother’s frail form in her bed, her once proud self now reduced to a mere shadow.
How did it get so bad?
Since Papa’s death, Mama has been on a slow, heartbreaking slide, lost in a fog of grief and narcotics.
Along with the doctor and shrinks, I’ve tried to help her, but it feels like a losing battle.
Truthfully, there was always something inside her that seemed restless and unhappy.
I couldn’t place it as a little girl, but I knew it was there, periods of melancholy and depression when she couldn’t get out of bed.
I sit at her bedside, her cold, trembling hand in mine. Her skin is sallow, stretched tight over her bones and her gaze is unfocused. It got so bad that I called Yulian to come home. He’s still completing his training in Russia, but I need his help. She can’t go on like this.
“Yulian is flying back from Russia. Pakhan and Andrei, too. They’ll be here by morning,” I assure her.
Her eyes, usually glazed over from the sedatives, are suddenly too sharp and clear. “Russia! No, not Russia. Alyona. You need to stay away from there.”
I squeeze my mother’s hand, trying to bring her back to the here and now. My parents are from Russia, they only moved stateside when Mama was pregnant with me. I’ve suspected her home country holds bad memories for her. “I’m not going there, trust me. But Yulian went there for his training.”
Something has agitated her, and she attempts to sit up. “Your father … Alyona, you need to be careful of him. Stay away from Russia.”
I blink back tears, biting my lip. It’s difficult to hear her speak so poorly about the husband she lost, the man she never really recovered from losing. “Mama,” I say softly, trying to keep my voice steady. “Papa’s not here anymore. You know that.”
“Please listen to me,” she insists, clutching my hand with surprising strength. “You need to be careful.”
Her words send chills down my spine. What is she talking about? Her warning doesn’t make sense, and I wonder how deeply the narcotics have messed with her mind. “You’re … confused,” I say, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Everything is fine.”
She shakes her head. “I’m so sorry, Alyona. So sorry.” Her words sound so genuine and desperate, it breaks something inside of me.
I lean in, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. “Go to sleep, Mama. You’ll see your son soon.”
She gives me one more pleading stare before her eyes flutter closed, and the room is filled with an unbearable silence.
Light streams into the training room, casting streaks of buttery sunshine that highlight the play of muscles in Leo’s broad shoulders and chiseled back.
I lean against the back wall, the rhythmic thud of his fists striking against the heavy bag filling the space.
It’s hypnotic, a beautiful dance of precision and force, but that’s Leo.
He wields his power carefully, almost gently.
And he’s sexy as all get-out when he does.
The sex lessons have evolved into something much deeper. Although we’ve both danced around the topic, the intensity between us is palpable. The truth is, I’m desperately in love with him. But ultimately, that doesn’t matter.
Leo will take the bratva oath soon, and that is our end date. I have to decide what’s next for me, even with my mother being ill. Pakhan has hired the best care for her. She’ll be looked after no matter what.
As if he can hear my thoughts, Leo turns to face me.
His dark eyes lock onto mine, as a bead of sweat rolls down his temple.
I don’t know what he sees in my expression, but he drops his gloves and wordlessly crosses the room, gathering me into his naked chest. He’s sweaty and hot, but like everything else about him, it just turns me on.
“How was it?” he asks, lips pressing against my temple.
“Not good,” I say sadly. “She’s slipping. Started talking about my father, getting all confused. It’s so hard.”
Leo lifts me into his arms, setting me down on the edge of the boxing ring.
He spreads my legs and stands in between them.
His thumb softly brushes down my cheek, over my lips.
“Hey,” he murmurs, his deep voice soothing, “it’s going to be okay.
Yulian will be home soon. It won’t all fall on your shoulders. ”
“Maybe not,” I murmur, “but it won’t be easy for us to be together anymore.
With my brother around, you and I …” The words stick in my throat.
We haven’t talked about our looming expiration date for weeks, not since the last time his father, Andrei, and Yulian were home and Leo went a little crazy.
But now the summer is coming to an end, and everything will change between us.
“Finish that thought, butterfly.” He presses his lips together, nostrils flaring. Did I misunderstand something?
“You’re taking the oath in a few weeks, and you know where I stand on that.
” I take a fortifying breath, gathering courage for what needs to be said.
“I think we should end things now. Before Yulian finds out. It’ll just make it all the more complicated when we …
” The words catch in my throat and pain radiates through me like a physical sensation.
“You think I want to end things with you?” he asks, incredulously.
“I don’t know, it’s complicated …” I start to say, but then he’s in front of me, one big hand wrapped around my jaw, his forehead pressed against mine.
“I’m not ending things with you, butterfly. Not even close.” His breath is hot against my mouth, tension radiating from him. “You think I could ever let you go? I can’t. I’ve thought about it long and hard, questioning my sanity, because this decision, being with you, changes everything.”
“What are you saying?” I ask, heart in my throat.
His hand buries my hair, tugging my head back so I’m forced to look into his eyes.
“You belong to me. You’ve always been mine, even if you didn’t know it, I knew it.
Deep inside. And now everyone else will know it, too.
Tomorrow, I’ll tell my father. He deserves to be the first to know that I won’t take the oath.
Then we will sit down with Yulian and tell him together.
” He plants a sweet kiss on my lips. “I love you, Aly. I fucking do. And the only thing that matters is being with you. I don’t care about all the other shit.
I just want you. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. ”
Happiness surges through me like a tidal wave. Ending things with Leo was the last thing I wanted to do. It would have shattered me to walk away from him, even if it was necessary. But he’s made his choice, and he chose me.
We’re not taking the easy way out, that’s for sure. Yulian is going to freak, and the pakhan—lordy, I can’t even think of that right now. But Leo has, and together, we’ll deal with the consequences.
“I love you, too,” I say, claiming his mouth with my own. “So damn much.”
From now on, it’s him and me against the world.