12. Bernice
As Ralph walked Krash through the app, Toni and I cleaned up and loaded the van with the extra equipment we didn’t use. It took about twenty minutes for Krash to understand all the mechanics and to set up his security codes. Toni cranked the engine to the van as Ralph walked toward us.
“Bernice, can I talk to you before you head out?” Keyshawn asked as he slid his phone into his pocket.
“What’s up?” I inquired. I placed the tablet on the seat in the back and closed the van door. I walked over to Krash as Ralph climbed into the passenger seat.
The sight of him under the setting sun made my coochie thump. I wanted to ask him more questions. I wanted to catch up and talk about what all had changed in his life. I knew we touched on things briefly during lunch, but I wanted so much more. I missed my best friend. I’d gained friends in college, but none of them could compare to the bond I had with Krash.
A lot of time had passed between us. I was older, wiser, and had changed a lot. Part of me felt like we could have made it work. Part of me wished we’d tried to see how things worked. The possibility of a failed relationship might have been easier to process than calling it quits before we even put the relationship to the test.
“How long have you been back in town?” he asked.
“Two years. I figured you’d have heard about my arrival from my parents, but y’all lost contact too.”
He rubbed his fingers through his facial hair. “Yeah. I loved your folks, but it didn’t make sense to keep in touch when we’d lost contact. They were your family, not mine.”
I shook my head. “I actually never wanted you to lose contact with them. They loved you—hell, they still love you—like you were their son. I wanted you to keep them in your life.”
“I appreciate the offer, but it didn’t make sense to me.”
“I understand.”
I tucked my hands in my back pockets and leaned on the heels of my feet. “I don’t want to hold you up, but I do want to see you again. Can I see you again?”
“If the stars align, we shall see.”
“Man, don’t be cryptic. I need a yes or no answer.”
I laughed. “It’s a maybe. You have connections. I’m sure you could find me if you really wanted to. I’m putting it in your hands.”
“All I need to know is if you got a nigga at home waiting for you,” he queried.
It took everything in my power not to let the smile on my face fall at the mention of a man at home. No one knew the real reason I moved away from Massachusetts. My story had been to return to my hometown and improve security in the city and surrounding areas. However, I had a few skeletons in my closet.
Visions of my past played through my mind as I tried not to get dragged back to my lowest point.
“You have no one!” He snarled at me as if I were a stray dog stealing scraps in the alleyway.
I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face between my legs. The tears burned my eyes as his hand flew down to strike me. The ache spread across my shoulder and down my back as he repeatedly hit me.
“I’m all you’ve got. No one will ever love a woman as ugly and useless as you. Fuckin’ bitch!” he shouted.
I’d spent three years fighting for my life. Finally, I mustered the courage to leave in the dead of night and never looked back. I put a restraining order out on him, so if I was ever caught in his path of destruction again, he’d be arrested immediately. I had to run away to protect my life from an abusive boyfriend. Of course, I couldn’t mention that to Krash.
“I don’t have a man waiting for me at home. All I have is a fish tank full of fish and the animals on my sim mods,” I explained in a light tone.
He chuckled. “Good to know. You won’t give me your number, but I’ll find ways to get in touch before the week is over.”
His certainty made butterflies swarm my tummy. The thought of him putting in the effort to make me his again was invigorating. I prayed things took a turn down a positive path without the threat of my past lingering around every corner.
“I don’t doubt it. Have a good day, Keyshawn.”
“You too, Bern.”
I turned on my heels and made my way to the van. Once I had climbed in and buckled my seat belt, Toni pulled out of the driveway and made the trek back to the office.
“You and Krash were a thing?” Toni quizzed as she merged onto the highway.
“You’re in my business,” I stated.
“My bad,” Toni giggled.
I leaned back and stared out the window. No longer in Krash’s presence, my body finally relaxed. I’d dodgedthe topic, but I knew, eventually, my past would come to bite me in the ass. I needed to have a game plan if I wanted to entertain the possibility of spinning the block with Krash.
“Girl, what ?” Jaelyn gasped as we sat across from each other at the seafood spot.
After the long day of work, I wanted to eat some fried catfish, hush puppies, and Cajun seasoned fries. Jaelyn agreed to meet me at the spot and ordered a pitcher of margarita to go with the meal.
“Yes,” I admitted as I tore the hush puppy in half and popped the half-sphere into my mouth.
“I knew it would happen! I’m mad it took over two years, but I’m so happy! Are you going to go out on a real date?”
“Woah, slow your roll, girl. This one encounter doesn’t mean much. Heck, I don’t know if we’ll talk to each other again?—”
“Didn’t you just say he asked to see you again?” she recalled.
“Yes, but?—”
“No buts! You told me he was excited to see you and kept trying to initiate conversation. He missed you so much, and you know you missed him too. None of those Massachusetts nerds could compare to that black king!”
“Girl, please .”
“I’m just saying. Look, God brought y’all back together for a reason. He let your paths cross for a reason. Don’t put a question mark where He put a period.”
“I don’t know. I feel like too much time has passed. We’re both completely different people. I don’t want to try again and we find out we were better off letting things have fizzled out eight years ago.”
“You’ve been thinking about this man for years . You’re not over him. Test the waters.”
I shrugged. “We shall see what happens in the future. I won’t stress over him. Now, let’s enjoy dinner and you catch me up on what’s been going on in your life.”
Jaelyn rolled her eyes. She took a bite of her hard-fried catfish and hummed. “There’s nothing new in my life. I’m still managing the customer service department of BerJam. My best friend put me on.”
I giggled. “You’re a mess.”
As soon as I could, I brought Jaelyn onto the team. She had her background in technology, too, and fell right in line with the rest of the company. Though we guaranteed quality security, technology did malfunction, and issues might arise. Jaelyn and her team did a stellar job of keeping the customers taken care of.
“We put a spotlight on my love life, but now it’s your turn. How’s the dating pool treating you?” I asked as I took a sip of the margarita in my cup.
“The dating pool has pee in it, but I found my diamond in the rough. His name is Michael. He’s six feet tall, full beard, faded hair, and has a dick sculpted by God. I got him saved in my phone as Captain Hook.”
“Oop! I know that’s right, girl.”
We finished our meals and drinks with light and comical conversation. Jaelyn was the type of friend to have my sides hurting from the wild things she said. She was a great listener and an even greater comedian. Her presence in my life had always been a blessing. She was a forever friend, and nothing and no one would ever come between us.
“Thank you for coming to dinner with me. I needed the company. Plus, it’s always great to spend some time with you.”
“Honey, it’s no problem at all. We actually need to start doing this more often. We’re both so occupied with work, it’s hard to take time out to really enjoy life,” Jaelyn added.
“You’re right. Do you want to set up a monthly friend date?” I suggested.
“Absolutely. On some months, we can set aside a full weekend to travel or something.”
I nodded vigorously as the excitement gathered in my heart. “I’d like that a lot! I’ll get with Malaysia to see what next month looks like and send you my schedule.”
“Perfect. Drive safe, boo. Let me know when you get home.”
“I will. You do the same.”
She pulled me into a warm hug, and I rubbed her back firmly. When we parted, we both walked over to our vehicles and climbed in. The leather seats were warm from being out in the Texas heat for over an hour, but it didn’t last long as the seat coolers activated, and the air conditioning blasted. I clamped my phone into the holder and tapped on my favorites playlist and hit shuffle.
Lauryn Hill’s voice filled the space in the car as I tapped the home icon on the GPS and waited for the route to connect. I lived downtown in a high-rise penthouse. It was expensive as hell, and the money I spent on the two-bedroom apartment could have easily been put into buying a house, but I wasn’t ready to be a homeowner. A lot of homes depreciated over time because of fast construction. These companies liked to cut corners and buy cheap resources to increase their profit margin. At least with the penthouse, all my maintenance problems were taken care of, and the proximity to everything was within walking distance. I even had a trail to run some mornings when I wanted to get a quick workout in.
When I entered the front door, I switched on the light and greeted my large tank of fish. I sprinkled a little fish food into the water and watched them contently for a few moments.
I toed off my shoes and stripped down to my bra and panties as I headed into the office with the perfect view of the Houston nightlife. I placed my files on the desk and turned on my PC. I checked on my sims for about an hour before I decided to take my shower.
As a single woman, my life had become routine. I went to work, came home, relaxed for a few hours, just to repeat the cycle all over again. After living in fear for so long, the routine made sense. It kept my anxiety low.
I picked up the pink rose toy and pressed the button in the center. The low buzz of the toy filled my ears as I sat on the shower seat and propped my leg up. I placed the suction on my clit and allowed my eyes to drift shut. It took a long time for me to get comfortable with pleasing myself. After the trauma from my ex, I didn’t want anyone to touch me. Nowadays, after a long day of work, releasing a quick nut helped me go to sleep faster. Not to mention the types of books I read made me hot and bothered some nights.
As the pleasure swam to my core, someone I hadn’t fantasized about in years popped into my mind.
“Krash…” I moaned as I bucked my hips forward. I pictured his large, skilled hands roaming my body as he played with my pussy. The visions of him picking me up and diving into my wetness fueled the heat in my body. My movements became hectic as my body shook.
“Fuck!” I cried out as I squirted my juices down my leg. My body spasmed as I leaned back against the wall of the shower and let the water wash away the evidence of my naughty time.
“Get it together, Bern…” I chastised myself.
I’d only seen the man a few hours ago, and he’d already tainted my mind again. What the hell was I going to do next time we saw each other?