CHAPTER EIGHT
Seraphina
It’s hard to breathe, as I fight to swallow the lump lodged in my throat. The words the beautiful blonde woman spoke repeating on a reel inside my head. This is Finn. He’s your son. I was hoping I’d heard wrong, but the look of shock on Ky’s face when she said it was enough to send me reeling.
Why did I think following Ky would be a good idea? What’s that saying? Curiosity killed the cat.
Boy, did it ever.
Why didn’t I just get in my damn car and drive away from this place? Then I wouldn’t have heard any of this, and I would be none the wiser. My heart leaps into my throat, and I can't help but gasp as Ky and the woman both whirl around, their eyes locking on me, catching me red-handed, eavesdropping on their conversation. The shock and guilt on his face when he looks at me was plain to see, but seeing the woman that had arrived on the clubhouse’s doorstep with a boy that looks to be the same age as Willow.
Not just any boy, but Ky’s son—shocked the shit out of me.
After the orgasm he gave me with just his fingers, my bones were like jelly, and I was ready to forgive him for everything that had transpired since we slept together last night. A night that suddenly felt like a million years ago.
I’d been on the verge of telling him about Willow
But now I couldn’t wait to get out of here.
Disregarding me entirely, he takes the woman by the hand and leads them further into the clubhouse, disappearing from view. So that’s it then. We’re over before we’ve even truly begun. This woman turns up, whoever she is, with a child, and I’m thrown away like yesterday’s dirty laundry.
Clearing my throat, and willing myself not to cry, I square my shoulders, lift my chin in determination, and return to the party, which surprise, surprise, has come to a screeching halt. The music is off, and everyone’s talking in hushed whispers. I slip past the bustling crowd, my footsteps silent, making my way to the empty room in the clubhouse where Ella is with the children.
Pinning a smile on my face, I open the door, and immediately see Willow, she’s playing in the corner with the boy that had just arrived with Ky’s ex. My little princess is kind to everyone, and pride swells inside me.
I had taught her well.
Clearing my throat, I search out Ella, finding her with Ivy, Everleigh and Kick’s little girl.
“I’m here to pick up Willow.” I tell her when she turns questioning eyes to me. She looks at me with understanding in her kind green eyes, and I give her a tentative smile of thanks. When Willow sees me, a wide smile breaks out on her beautiful face as she jumps to her feet and runs for me. “Mommy, I made a new friend,” she says excitedly.
“I can see that.” I reply, forcing a note of excitement to my voice. But it still comes out shaky when I finally get a good look at the little boy.
He’s the spitting image of Ky.
“Come on sweet pea, get your coat on. We’re going home now,” I tell her. I work robotically, grabbing her coat from the coat hook, and helping her to slide it on.
“Aww but mommy.”
I lower myself to her eye level, my hands on each of her arms. “Don’t you aww mommy me, young lady? When I tell you to do something, you do it without complaining.” I stop myself in time from shaking her, and I notice unshed tears pooling in her eyes.
“I’m sorry, baby girl.” I hug her close to me. “Mommy’s just got a lot of things on her mind. That’s all. Let’s go home.”
“Okay.” My little girl sniffles, and it breaks my heart all the more because I had never acted in that way towards her before.
Holding her hand firmly, I thank Ella once again, and walk outside on shaky legs, not bothering to even tell anyone that I was leaving. Reaching my car, I pull the passenger door open, intent on getting Willow in the car seat and out of here, but freezing when I hear a voice call out to me. Reluctantly, I turn around, seeing Ink jogging toward me. He really was a good-looking specimen of man. Ink covers him from head to toe, cerulean blue eyes that can look deep down into your soul. And not to forget the muscles. Why couldn’t I fall for him instead?
“Where the fuck are you going?” he demands.
“Go back inside, Ink,” I say, without looking at him as I busy myself with clipping Willow into her car seat, before sliding into the driver’s seat.
He snorts. “If you think I’m going to let you drive in the state you’re in, you’ve got another thing coming,” he says, before yanking my keys out of my hand. “I’ll drive you and Willow home.”
“Oh, you’re not going to let me, are you? What state? I’m just fine and dandy. Besides, won’t Lily be missing you?” I say, sarcasm bleeding into my voice, as a look I can’t fathom comes over his face, but before I can question it, the fact he now has my keys finally registers.
“Hey, give me back my keys.” I shriek.
“Not happening,” Ink replies cooly, and before I know it, he’s got me out of the driver’s seat and in the passenger seat without breaking a sweat.
“What the fuck, Ink.” I hiss scornfully so that Willow can’t hear. That’s all I need, my daughter picking up all the swear words. “You’re taking liberties with me; you don’t have a right to,”
“Shut up, woman,” he growls, getting into the passenger seat, adjusting the seat to his height, before shoving the key into the ignition, his words shocking me into silence.
“Do you know who that was?” I ask in a whisper, collapsing in on myself, all the fight leaving me.
Ink looks at me with almost pity in his eyes, and I want to slap his handsome face, as I focus my gaze on the skull inked on his neck, with orange flaming eyes. “That was Mariah. Ky’s ex.”
Unable to speak, all I can manage is a nod. So that was his first love. Doesn’t surprise me, she’s some leggy, beautiful blonde. While I was the short, frumpy one. Of course, he’d choose her over me. And if that was his kid, then that trumps everything.
“Get whatever you’re thinkin’ out of that pretty little head of yours,” Ink orders. “Mariah’s been gone for years. She lost the right to Ky when she dumped his ass because she couldn’t handle the biker life.”
“Doesn’t mean he’s going to turn his back on her, especially knowing she had his kid,” I argue.
“If it is even his kid,” he mumbles.
“What? You don’t think the boy’s his?” I ask.
Why would she lie?
“Come on, let’s get you home,” Ink says without answering. Revving the engine, he throws the car in Reverse , driving out of the compound,. My last thought was whether Ky would even care that Ink had driven me home. Probably not.
I force myself to enjoy the quiet drive home, the hum of the engine a dull counterpoint to the lingering thoughts of Ky and the woman with the child. By the time we arrived, I was feeling a little better about things. Silently, Ink helps me with a sleeping Willow, taking her to her bedroom, and tucking her into bed.
“Thank you.”. That was all I could say at that moment, as words failed me. For a brief period, in Ink’s company, I could detach myself from the ruins of my world. If only I had thrown Ky out on his ass when he showed up at my house last night. I wouldn’t have let him inside my home or my body.
Ink turns to look at me, a lopsided grin on his handsome face. “You’re welcome. If you need anything, let me know.”
“You’re sweet to offer, but I can’t keep imposing on you, Ink.”
“I don’t mind. I enjoy spending time with you, and the little munchkin,” he says, a knowing look in his bright blue eyes, and not for the first time, I wished I was interested in him in that way. I can’t help the slight blush that colors my cheeks as he bends and plants a soft kiss on my cheek.
“How are you getting home?” I ask, since he drove my car, and doesn’t have his Harley here,
He chuckles. “Worried about me, babe?”
I smile for the first time tonight. “Of course. You mean a lot to me.”
His face becomes suddenly serious as he clears his throat. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” He strides towards the front door, the space we’re standing in suddenly becoming too small with his size overpowering it. Throwing over his shoulder, he adds. “Lock up after I leave.” And with that, he closes the door behind him.
I do as he says, locking the deadbolt, and arm the security system. Only then do I hear his boots shuffling away.
Hating the silence that follows, because the silence makes me think of things I don’t want to think about. The way Ky’s fingers brought me to orgasm. Or the beautiful woman that arrived with a child, or the blank expression on Ky’s face when he looked at me.
Mentally and physically exhausted, I make sure I lock the door and arm the security system. I wouldn’t take any chances with my and my daughter’s safety. Moving through the house like a robot, I find myself in my bedroom, stripping off the dress and leaving it on the floor, and don’t even bother to remove my makeup, as I slide under the covers, finally giving into my emotions.
***
For the next couple of weeks, I throw myself into my work, trying, but failing, to forget Ky ever existed. I avoid Zoe and the other ol' ladies—it was just too painful to be around them. The only one I allowed close was Ink, because I knew he would never judge me the way I was sure the others would. And I needed his stable company to keep me sane. Ignoring all communication from Ky, blocking his number from my phone. I would never allow myself to be made a fool of again.
It was bad enough having to see him whenever I was at the clinic, but seeing the woman hanging off him constantly was something I wouldn’t put myself through. But it was my body I couldn’t ignore, especially when I was late with my period. The thought of being pregnant didn’t fill me with dread like I thought it would, but having to tell Ky he was going to be a dad, again, was the one thing I wasn’t looking forward to. It also could be just exhaustion. I’d hardly stopped moving since that night at the clubhouse, and I was feeling run down.
I decide not to go into work today, since I was feeling like death warmed over calling Suzie, the woman who usually works the weekend shift at the clinic. She thankfully agreed to go in today to cover for me, and after I thanked her profusely, I rang off.
Willow and I were going to spend quality time together today. But there was something I needed to do first before anything else, I just hoped I’d make it there without losing the contents of my stomach. Or whatever was left over from last night.
I dressed in an oversize blue sweater, and a pair of black leggings, hopefully I won’t run into anyone I know? Piling my hair up into a messy bun, I help Willow dress and bundle her into the car, thankful I didn’t hurl. and drove straight to the pharmacy with one goal in mind.
To pick up a pregnancy test.
And if it was positive, I’d need to see a doctor to confirm it. And if I wasn’t, I’d just put down to exhaustion, just like I thought it was.
I thought I was free and clear, standing at the cash register, one hand holding Willow’s, while in the other, a couple of different brands of pregnancy tests when the only other person I didn’t want to see, besides Ky, walks into the pharmacy. Lexie.
Maybe if I pretend I don’t see her, she’ll leave me alone. I don’t think I could handle another round of her animosity toward me
I wonder if she was like that to the new woman in Ky’s life? Shaking my head, I determinedly push all thoughts of Ky and the new woman in his life to the back of my mind. I hope Lexie doesn’t see me standing in line to be served. But just when I thought I’d been successful, Willow calls out to her, and the other woman pivots her blonde, pink, and black head to look in our direction.
I swallow a groan as she sees me standing there, and strides toward us. Great, now I was stuck. Maybe if I just drop the tests and run out, she won’t follow?
“Hey, Sera, I thought it was you.” Her voice calls out, a tentative smile on her beautiful face. I don’t know her story well, but I honestly don’t care what it is that made her a first-class bitch. She’d gone out of her way to make me feel like shit, so no, she and I didn’t need to be friends.
Reluctantly turning towards her, clutching the boxes of tests against me, even though I know she’s probably seen them already. Judging by the way her eyes widen.
“Sera, are you pregnant??” she whisper hisses.
I try to mask my worry with a look of nonchalance, taking a deep breath.. “Whether I am or not is hardly any of your concern.” I reply dryly, needing to get out of there as quickly as possible.
Lexie’s eyes narrow. “Does Ky know?”
Guilt gnaws at my insides. But self-preservation kicks in.
“What makes you think it’s his? I have been seeing Ink for some time now.” I internally wince at my lie, dropping Ink into the middle of my drama without talking to him first. I hope he can forgive me. Losing him as a friend would kill me. Straightening my spine and jutting out my chin, I add, “Again, whether he knows or not is none of your concern. Excuse me.”
Quickly paying the cashier, I force myself not to run out of the store as though the hounds of hell were chasing me. I buckle Willow into her car seat in the back, wiping away the tears that have blurred my vision before sliding into the driver’s seat of my car. I notice Lexie standing at the entrance of the pharmacy, looking back at me as though I were an alien with two heads. For the last few weeks, I had kept myself together, but seeing Lexie, reminds me of Ky and the club, I couldn’t stop the tears from trailing down my cheeks.
“Mommy, why are you crying?” My little girl asks, and I furiously brush the tears away with the back of my hand.
“No reason, sweet pea. Just tired I guess.” I give her an excuse, which thankfully, being almost four years old, she accepts readily.
By the time we got home, after buying Willow and ice cream, which she promptly ate in the car, and got it mostly all over herself, my tears had dried, and I had pulled myself together. I would need to clean her up, probably give her a bath, she was that dirty from the melting ice cream; I happily listened to her tell me about the boy she met at the daycare center being the same boy as was at the clubhouse that night. Her voice animated and filled with excitement.
Great. Reminders of Ky were everywhere I turn.
I sigh deeply as I make the turn into the driveway; the gravel crunching beneath my tires. A frown mars my face when I notice the side gate that leads to the backyard was wide open.
Swallowing down the panic that threatened to overwhelm me, I got Willow out of the car as calmly as possible and into the house. Ink wouldn’t be here at all today, since he was going with the club to watch Ky fight. Something he’d been training for, for the past couple of months, apparently.
So it couldn’t be him.
Besides, he’d be inside the house, not in the backyard.
I dislike the fact that my reliance on Ink has grown as our friendship has deepened, whenever he wasn’t around, I missed him. My thoughts are a jumbled mess as I pretend everything is okay while I bathed Willow and dressed her in clean clothes.
“Okay sweet pea, you can watch one cartoon while I fix lunch.” I tell her as we make our way downstairs, and she bounces on the balls of her feet excitedly. Before long, Elsa’s dulcet tones reverberate throughout the living room. And I can’t help but smile. That movie is my girl’s go to every single time.
With Willow engrossed in her movie and oblivious to me, I slip out to the backyard, my heart in my throat, but not finding anything out of the ordinary. Maybe a stronger gust of wind was to blame for the gate being open like that? I can only hope that was the case. Because the alternative, that Angelo had come for me, is something I couldn’t bear to think about.
Lunch took longer to make than to devour, and soon Willow and I were both lounging on the sofa, eating ice cream.
I look over at the bag of pregnancy tests. I know I have to bite the bullet and find out if what I suspect is true, but I keep telling myself there’s time still to find out. My arm is around Willow, and I can tell she’s fallen asleep watching the rest of the movie.
A soft kiss to her forehead, a smile on my face, and a hand resting on my stomach, I look down at my little girl with all the love in the world. The thought of being pregnant hangs heavy; do I stay here and face the music, or do I flee with my daughter, leaving this town and the people I’ve gotten to know and love, in my rear-view mirror?
Shaking my head, I push thoughts of a hypothetical baby and leaving town to the back of my mind, my eyelids growing heavy and shutting against my will.
Falling asleep on the couch, overcome by the combination of ice cream and relaxation, and awoke to the smell of acrid smoke filling my nostrils, and the intense orange glow of the fire in my kitchen ripped me from sleep, replacing my drowsiness with stark terror. Eyes wide as saucers as I stare frozen at the scene in front of me.
Move! A voice inside my head directs me. I try to focus on my surroundings, but it’s difficult as smoke enters through my nose, making me cough Looking down, I see Willow still fast asleep in my arms, and I realize something else has taken a hold of her as shaking her doesn’t help wake her.
I scramble off the couch, her lifeless weight in my arms sending a surge of panic through me that feels like it will consume me whole; as another hacking cough rips through my chest. I rush for the front door, forgetting I’d armed the security system.
In my panic to get out as the flames lick into the living room, tears fall down my cheeks as I try to disarm the damn thing, but my brain won’t function, and I know I’m fucked if I don’t get out in the next few minutes. The smoke rolls and gets thicker, forcing me to cough up my lungs.
I can feel myself getting weaker as I pound on the front door, trying not to feel complete and utter devastation when it doesn’t budge, holding on to Willow the entire time, when I suddenly hear the voice of my savior telling me to get away from the door.
I can also now hear fire trucks and maybe ambulances too, but I’m so disoriented that none of it registers until the door bursts open and there stands Ky like an avenging angel, as I drop to the floor with Willow in my arms before he has time to catch me.
Then, everything goes black.