Chapter 12
PATRICK
Iapproached my office door. A muffled but clear voice came from inside. Crush. Me.
What could have brought up this topic of conversation?
To give them credit, both Collin and Kylie looked guilty as fuck.
“I’m sorry.” Collin stood rubbing the back of his neck. “Tyler and I were on the phone, and you know Tyler. He was just joking. We were joking.”
Kylie stood and hugged herself, much like she did at The Sphere. She seemed so small. “I have work to do.” She peeked up at me but then dropped her chin to her chest and darted out the door.
“Kylie,” Collin pleaded. He stepped toward the door to follow her.
I held up a hand. “Why don’t you get back to work, Collin?”
“Boss,” he sighed. “I didn’t mean to talk out of turn. But you know how it is when Tyler and I get going.”
“I wasn’t aware you and Tyler had gossip breaks in the middle of the workday.” I walked to my desk and sat down, gripping the armrests.
“Oh, we don’t.” Collin turned to face me. “He was calling to ask if he and Maddox could come to the show tomorrow. He said he knows it’s last minute, but Rayna and Tinley just called him and told him he had to go.”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” I rubbed my temples. “Let Martin know and make sure they add more seats in their section.” I grabbed my phone.
Patrick: Heads up. Tyler and Maddox are coming tomorrow.
Kyler:
“Boss—”
“It’s fine, Collin. Get back to your desk.” He frowned but then left me alone.
Apparently, my crush was obvious. Sure, I created a job for her and then hired her, bypassing all the usual HR procedures. Even after discovering her true purpose for being here and giving her access, limited access, but still. I rearranged my schedule to be near her and spend time with her.
Why was my having a crush on her so mortifying?
Well, I was her boss, and she did most likely think I protected men who trafficked women.
It was all messed up. I should probably go to her and explain.
Assure her that despite my feelings, I would remain professional.
Maybe play it off as a joke. Not the most direct approach, but I had few options.
I didn’t want her to leave, but I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable around me either.
“Oh, fuck me.” I laid my head down and willed the last five minutes to erase themselves from the universe.
“Daddy. He’s sleeping.” Tinley loudly whispered. I lifted my head and found Tinley and Josh standing in my doorway.
“See, Tinley.” He pushed her in. “Even adults need naps every once in a while.”
She pouted and stopped. Josh bumped into her. “Then maybe we should let him continue his nap.”
“I wasn’t napping.” I waved her in. “What’s up? Is it bring a little to work day? No one told me.”
Tinley’s giggle brightened my mood. A little. She exuded joy, but only a select few got to see it. I considered myself honored.
“Then what were you doing?” Josh guided Tinley closer.
“Thinking.”
“Okay, but if you were napping, that’s okay.” Tinley frowned. “You shouldn’t nap at your desk, though.” She knocked on the wooden surface. “Not very comfortable.”
“True, if I were napping.” I winked at her. “What’s up?”
“I just wanted to thank you for hiring Kylie. I really like her, and she’s super nice, and I like the idea of having an FBI agent as my personal bodyguard.
Rayna likes her too, but she thinks the FBI hunts down ninjas.
I told her they didn’t because they only hunt down criminals, and ninjas aren’t criminals.
Well, some criminals may have ninja skills, and in a group of people, some might be bad or turn bad.
Anyway, I am sure Kylie won’t need to hunt us down because we aren’t criminals.
But sometimes good people have to do bad thi—”
“Tinley.” Josh stopped her rant, but they were so few and far between I wish he would have let her continue. “Didn’t you have something to give Patrick?”
“Oh, yeah.” She set her backpack on the chair, pulled out a folder, and handed it to me.
Inside was a folded piece of blue construction paper with the words Thank you and a heart drawn across the front in white marker.
Inside, Tinley had drawn a picture of the buildings of the Quad.
She scribbled a name on each building: Tyler at Quad I, Randall in Quad II, Kyler, Rayna, Josh, and Tinley in Quad IV and then an enormous umbrella drawn over it all with my name written in block letters.
Love, Tinley, written at the bottom.
“Oh, it’s beautiful.” I bit my lip. “Thank you, Tinley.”
She stepped next to me. “Do you like it?”
I hugged her and kissed the top of her head. “Very much.”
Josh rolled his eyes. “Come on, Tin Tin.” He gestured for her. “Let Patrick get back to his work.” He winked.
“I wasn’t napping.”
Tinley’s laugh traveled down the hallway.
Her childlike picture made me sad. Even after what she’s been through and despite my own failing, she saw me as the protector. I would always protect my family, but I wanted a little of my own as well. I wanted what they had, and I knew who I wanted it with. Hopefully, I didn’t scare her away.
I headed toward Kylie’s office next door. Her door was closed.
I knocked.
“Come in.”
I opened it and stepped inside, but she wasn’t at her desk. I scanned the room and found her on the cream-colored couch to the left. She had papers spread out in front of her. She gathered them together and tried to hide them under another stack of paperwork.
“Sorry for intruding.”
She blinked and sat back on the couch. With arms crossed over her chest, she glared in my direction. She had avoided my gaze all day.
“What are you working on?”
“Just analyst stuff. I fell down a rabbit hole and am trying to come back to the surface.” She shrugged. “It’s the job.”
“Is it something you want to talk about?” I stepped in and shut the door. Her head tilted.
“Do you prefer the door to stay open?”
“No, it’s fine.” She waved her hand, gathered the big stack of paperwork, and moved towards her desk. It fell out of her hands. Pages scattered on the floor. “Shoot.”
“Let me help you.”
“No!” she yelled. “I’m sorry. I got it. What did you need?”
“Kylie.” She bent down, snatching the scattered pieces. I bent down beside her. “Kylie, look at me.”
She grabbed the last piece of paper and stood up. Her glare hardened.
“We need to talk about what Collin said.” I sat across from her desk.
“No, we really don’t.” She made her way around the desk and flopped into the office chair. The stack of papers blocked her out. I pushed them to the side. Her eyes blinked rapidly.
“I think we do.”
“And you always get what you want?” She had no problem holding my gaze now. “Well, not this time, Patrick. You can’t have me.”
The declaration didn’t quite have the impact she probably intended.
She sounded less like a woman asserting herself and more like a petulant child denying what she herself wanted.
I covered my mouth to keep from smiling.
My next words would hurt her, but it was my job to protect her whether she was mine or not.
She didn’t need to deal with my crush because it wouldn’t come to anything.
“Whether I do or don’t have a crush on you is irrelevant. It would be inappropriate for me to pursue a relationship with an employee, especially if it could compromise or distract either of us from doing our jobs properly. There’s nothing more important than the job, Kylie. Understand?”
Kylie had geared up for the fight and had stepped into her confidence to defend her position. She had probably rehearsed in her head what she wanted to say, how she was going to let me down. My words caused her to deflate right in front of me.
“Now that that is done.” I stood up. “Please add Tyler Grant and his boyfriend Maddox to the list of attendees tomorrow at The Sphere. Coordinate with Martin about arranging the seating to accommodate them. Make sure Chandler knows so he can add another table for them at the club.”
And that was it. Issue resolved. No harm, no foul.
I had gotten away, saving us both from an uncomfortable conversation about an awkward situation that meant nothing.
I made it to the door. Every instinct, every bit of training, told me to just walk away.
Don’t stop, don’t look back. But some deeper, dumber part of me refused the order.
It was a raw, aching need to know if she was okay.
And it was too loud to ignore. I stopped at the door, hand on the knob, but I couldn’t turn it.
I couldn’t muster the strength to push it open and walk out.
I opened my mouth. “You okay?”
Fuck. Not what I wanted to say. I should have said nothing. I was free. I could have put this whole mess behind me and lived my delusional life where I would never admit out loud my feelings for Kylie Stands.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Her voice was tight, each word clipped and sharp. I looked back, but she had already stood up and was making her way toward the window in her office, cellphone in her ear.
“Hi Martin.” He got the kind, professional version of Kylie. “Just wanted to make sure you heard Tyler and Maddox were joining us tomorrow.”
I couldn’t hear his response.
“So I’ve heard.” She laughed. Not giggled but laughed like grown-ups do. “Yeah, is there anything I need to know about them?”
The silence weighed on me. Was Martin flirting with her? Her conversation flowed easily. I opened the door.
“Jealous.”
I blinked and turned around, but she had her back to me. Her words in response to something Martin had said. Of course, I wasn’t jealous.
“Sweet.” She laughed again. “Okay. I got it. I’ll see you at the briefing at four.”
She hung up the phone and turned. Her eyes grew extra wide.
“Is that all, Mr. Carmichael?”
It was Mr. Carmichael now.
“Yes, Ms. Stands.” I stepped out of her office and closed the door behind me. I made it to my office, but didn’t pause for a second. The anguish on Collin’s face didn’t help. He'd screwed up. He knew the depth of his mistake, and his sensitive soul tormenting him was punishment enough.
“I’ll be out with Kyler for the rest of the night.” I checked my phone. “Call if anything comes up. See you tomorrow.”
I knew it was shitty to leave him to stew on what he did. But it appears exactly what Kylie was going to do with me.
We could all suffer alone, together.