Chapter 23
KYLIE
How did he know what I needed?
I didn’t even know what I was doing here. A hum of curiosity, yes. A deep ache for a firm hand, probably. An absolute, desperate need for physical touch, definitely.
But sex with Patrick?
In my fantasies, maybe. It’s natural to dream about your sexy boss, right? Imagining his strong hands touching your body. His full lips dragging along your skin while he presses himself into you.
“Kylie.”
I blinked and Patrick came back into focus.
“Did I lose you there for a minute?” He rubbed my arm. “You okay?”
“I’m sorry.” I shook my head. “I’m fine. What did you ask?”
“What is your safe word?”
Oh, right, safe words. We were in a scene. Of course, we would have a safe word.
“What’s wrong?”
I need to work on controlling my facial expressions, but it’s hard when I’m rocking back and forth between big and little.
I wish I could slip right into little space, but my guard was way too far up.
I wanted to blurt out spank me already so we could get it over with and I could play.
If I’d even be allowed to play. I spotted Rayna and Tinley in a play area building blocks up into the sky.
Tinley’s stack was taller than her. They didn’t see me, and it was probably better that way.
The last thing I wanted was to ruin their night.
“Safe word. Right.” I nodded. “Because this is a scene, and in scenes you have safe words.”
“Well, no, this isn’t a scene, Kylie.”
I tilted my head.
“No, this is part of the lifestyle. The community I belong to. The environment where I want to live with a special little girl someday. I want that little girl to be you.”
Suddenly, the air had left the room. I pulled at the collar of my dress.
“We aren’t negotiating here.” He sighed. “A safe word would be part of life, used any time you feel overwhelmed, need a break, or hit a hard limit. It can’t get you out of a punishment, but it will be necessary to get us on the same page as we learn each other.”
“You will always punish me if I mess up?” I looked up into those soulful eyes, trying to figure out what we were talking about.
“You don’t get punished for messing up.” He gripped my hands in his. “You are being punished for breaking the rules. What rules did you break, Kylie?”
“I don’t know.” The panic made my eyes twitch. “I’m so confused.”
“Hey.” He pulled me closer. “Take a deep breath for me.”
His voice grew distant and garbled. I could barely hear him. He placed his hand on my chest. “Deep breath in.”
I breathed in and held it.
“Now out.” His middle finger tapped the center of my sternum in time with my heartbeat. “That’s it.”
“I’m okay now.”
“One more time.” His hand grew heavy. “Breathe in.”
I inhaled and realized his thumb and pinky was touching my breast.
“Out.”
I exhaled and pulled his hand away from my chest.
“Have a seat.” But instead of on his lap like earlier, he sat me down on the bed next to him. “Let me get you some water.”
He leaned over and opened a cabinet next to the bed, which held a mini refrigerator. He uncapped the bottle and brought it to my lips. “Small sips.”
The cold water felt amazing on my throat. I wasn’t prone to panic attacks, but I was way out of my element, and I never thought I’d say that while in a playroom in a BDSM club on littles’ night. It used to be my happy place. Why was I wound so tight?
“I’m sorry, Kylie.” He seemed defeated. “I think I might have gone about this all wrong.”
“No,” I whined and placed a hand on his thigh to steady me. The world was a little fuzzy.
“Yeah, I never want to make you feel uncomfortable.”
“I’m not.” I took another deep breath.
“You are literally having a panic attack.” He brought the bottle of water to my lips again.
Would he believe me if I told him I have asthma? The thought made me giggle. That giggle turned into several giggles and then I couldn’t control myself. I fell back on the bed, holding my tummy and laughing.
Patrick’s eyes narrowed and the wrinkle on his forehead deepened. It made me laugh even harder.
“Are you done?” He shook his head.
I held my thumb and forefinger close together to let him know I had a few giggles left in the tank.
“Happy I learned something about your little tonight.” He took a sip from my water bottle.
I sat up and motioned with my finger. “Gimme.” I took a big gulp. My heart beat returned to a normal rhythm, the world was no longer fuzzy, and I could hear him loud and clear. “What did you learn about my little?”
“Little Kylie is silly.” He chuckled and leaned over, and kissed the side of my face.
The entire world stopped, but not in a panic attack kind of way. In a way that made me wish he’d kiss me again.
I turned and tilted my head up. He turned and stared into my eyes. I leaned forward; he did the same. My gaze dropped to his lips. I licked mine. I wanted to feel them on me.
His eyes followed mine.
Please, oh please, oh please kiss me.
The universe must have heard me. The next second his lips landed on me.
A small peck at first, and then he pulled back a little, his eyes staring at my mouth.
He licked his lips as if tasting them or checking to see if they were still there.
Then he leaned in again, and they stayed.
No pulling back. I dropped the water bottle, but thankfully Patrick can multitask because he caught it with one hand and placed it on the table behind him, while pulling me into his arms with the other.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and went where he took me.
His lips explored mine. The flavor of scotch and something sweet lingered on his tongue as he pressed it into my mouth, massaging my own.
He guided me over his lap, straddling him.
He took my head in his hands and tilted me to deepen the kiss, leaving no space between us. I couldn’t get close enough.
His touch felt like a dominance I’d never experienced, and I wanted more.
I was in little space before it started, but as it continued, my little had not so little thoughts running through her brain.
He pulled back, and I whimpered embarrassingly, but I had no shame.
I was desperate for his lips to return to mine.
“Hey, little girl.” He searched my face. “I want nothing more than to continue kissing you until my lips fall off, but we have some unfinished business to take care of first.”
I pouted and dropped my arms to my sides.
He leaned in and bit my bottom lip. My mouth spread into a grin.
“All pouts will be kissed away immediately.”
“Then I just might pout all the time.” I tried, but a smile kept creeping onto my lips. I couldn’t control it.
“Good luck with that, little girl.” He kissed me again. He gently caressed my cheek, then squeezed my hip with a firm dominance that sent a shiver through me. The kiss stopped abruptly.
Patrick lifted me and set me back on my feet.
“Stop distracting me, little one.” He kissed my cheek. I wrapped my arms around his neck, but he pulled them back, grabbed my hands, kissed both and held them firmly in his powerful hands. “Now, your choices. You can —”
“Spanking, please.”
“What if that wasn’t one of the choices?” He grinned.
“It wasn’t?” My heart sank. I wanted a spanking so bad. My bottom tingled thinking about it. And what kind of daddy didn’t give spankings as punishment?
“Okay, it is, but don’t you want to hear the other choices?”
“No, thank you, sir.” I gave him the widest toothy smile.
He chuckled. “You are going to be a handful, aren’t you, Kylie?” His lips brushed against mine, too brief for my liking.
“Just remember.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “No matter how cute you are, I’m taking this punishment seriously, and I hope you are, too.”
“I am.” I closed my eyes and breathed him in. The scotch on his breath lingered in his exhale and made my head swim.
“But I will give you a choice about something.” He lifted his head. “We will discuss how we move forward after.”
“With Grant Enterprises?” If there were a hint of hope that I could hold on to my job despite what happened, I would cling to it.
“And with us.”
“Can I add my two cents on both matters?” I held up two fingers.
“This isn’t exactly a democracy, Kylie. But yes, I want to hear your opinion.”
I opened my mouth.
“After your spanking,” he interrupted.
My mouth fell into a pout.
“And some corner time. Maybe with a hot bottom, it won’t be so pleasant.” As promised, he kissed the pout off my mouth. “Ask me for your punishment?”
The lump in my stomach returned and did several flips. “Sir, please, can I have my punishment?” I didn’t recognize my voice or the emotions swirling in my head. Tears pooled in my eyes.
“What are you being punished for, Kylie?” His voice, on the other hand, was strong and stern and, surprisingly, a comfort.
“I was naughty and broke the rules.”
“What rules?”
Geez, this part was torture. Compared to the inquisition, the spanking would be a breeze. But what rules had I broken, really?
“I don’t know.”
He pulled back and tilted his head.
“Well, specifically.” I pulled my hands out of his and placed them behind my back. “I’m not sure.”
“Well, you were told to keep Rayna and Tinley safe.”
Before I could defend myself, he spoke.
“You pulled them into an unsecured and unauthorized bathroom. You misled them about your true intentions. You lied to all of us about your reasons for being here, and you made assumptions about all of us.”
The more he spoke, the more my heart broke.
“You broke the number one rule in research and analysis. Instead of letting the work lead you to a conclusion, you decided on the conclusion and tailored evidence to support it.”
“I’m sorry.” He was right. I had already determined they were guilty and worked backwards.
“I know, little girl.” He placed his hands on my hips. “Thank you for saying so. Now over my knee you go.”