21 #4
“That’s great, Liz. It’s the kind of contract you’ve always wanted, to be the face of a product.
” Jerome directed his eyes onto her face as he spoke softly, he didn’t want to give her any mixed messages.
She was a very attractive woman and he wasn’t blind to that but he wasn’t ready for physical intimacy with her yet.
It was still too soon and he still wasn’t sure if it was over with Jonathan.
Jerome kept himself focused on Liz as she enthusiastically continued, trying to banish his constant erratic thoughts.
“I know, right? I know it’s not the usual thing I’m into. I’d have preferred cosmetics or a fashion brand but this has longevity. And it appeals to men and women. It’ll cover both markets!”
Jerome grinned widely at her, pleased that she was obviously excited about this.
He just hoped it went through for her. He’d seen her being put forward for many contracts and they had never come through.
Not because she wasn’t good enough, he knew she was.
It was just the nature of the business, too much competition and too many well-known faces that large companies tended to favour.
He just hoped this company wanted a new face, for Liz’s and his sake.
He really couldn’t face her depression and moods if she was rejected by them.
He’d been there too many times with her over the years.
“So when’s the meeting?”
“I’m not sure yet. Graham’s going to let me know tomorrow after he’s talked to them. That’s why I’m spending so much time with him. He’s really pushing me forward for this and he thinks it’ll lead to other high profile jobs too.” Liz fidgeted in her seat nervously.
Jerome’s eyes softened at her obvious discomfort. She was worried that her excessive time away from home might be bothering him, especially after they’d promised to spend more time together.
“Hey it’s okay. I understand it’s for work,” he reassured her.
Her eyes darted up to his face. “Do you? I mean I know we’re supposed to be trying and…”
Jerome lifted his hand and stroked her cheek, “I do. It’s going to be hectic for me too this month. Just please let me know what your schedule is so I can at least try and work around it.”
Liz placed her hand over his, then shuffled closer.
Jerome swallowed hard. He knew what she was doing.
She knew exactly how to break him. He only needed to see her a little bit vulnerable, fragile even and he’d let his guard down.
Liz knew that, and he wondered whether her concern was genuine or staged.
What he did know though was that he hated second guessing her motives, watching her reactions and checking up on her.
This wasn’t what a marriage should be, what he envisaged for himself.
He really didn’t know how long he would be able to carry on like this.
Or worse, if he’d ever get over feeling like this at all.
Forgiveness he could do, but forget, that was much harder.
He pulled his hand away from her cheek and focused on his plate again.
He needed to change the subject, he wasn’t quite ready to let her in again and Jerome was worried that an outright rejection might cause another heated argument.
After a surprisingly pleasant day at home Jerome didn’t want to ruin that.
Luckily for him Liz provided the change of subject.
“So, what about you? La Casa, Sky?” she turned a little bit so she was farther away from him, then rearranged her robe to cover herself up a little bit more, still leaving a sizeable amount of cleavage exposed.
The gesture was deliberate and Jerome wondered if she’d realised that her seductive tactic wasn’t working.
He took a moment before answering, taking a long drink from his glass of water, her movements and surprising questions had thrown him off guard again.
Liz never asked him about work. She’d made it clear, especially over the last five years that she had no interest in the business that seemed to consume him.
“Um, fine, they’re both doing fine.” His answer was weak but he really wasn’t sure if she really wanted to know or whether this was all part of her effort to try and be more understanding.
“Are you booked up over the holidays?”
“Yes, pretty much.” He cut another piece of salmon and popped it in his mouth and chewed, wishing it had some sauce on it accompanied by a mushroom risotto.
“I take it we’ll be spending Christmas day there.”
“Er yes. If that’s okay? I can make arrangements not to be there if you’d rather…”
“No, no. The kids love it down there. We go every year and your mother would never forgive us.” Liz smiled tightly.
Jerome huffed, he didn’t relish the idea of telling his mother that her only two grandchildren wouldn’t be down to see her on Christmas day.
“And Level One?” Liz asked quietly. Jerome’s eyes darted to her face but she seemed overly interested in her salad.
He knew it was hard for her to ask and his natural instinct was to make it easy for her but again he was caught between what he felt he should do and what needed to be done.
He decided rather than make her feel totally uncomfortable he’d be as economical and matter of fact as he could.
“The new managers have settled in so that seems to be getting back on track. At least they’ll be ready for January, you remember how busy it gets?”
Liz turned slightly to look at him and nodded. “Yes, I remember.” She reached over for her wine and drained the glass.
Jerome forked up some of his salad and put it in his mouth. Was there nothing they could talk about without one of them feeling uncomfortable, or angry, or utterly wretched?
“What time do you need to go?” she asked breaking the uncomfortable silence.
“I should start to get ready. I need to be there within an hour.”
“You go and get ready, then. I’ll clear up these.” Liz gestured at the table. Jerome’s eyes fell to her half-eaten food.
“You didn’t finish it.”
“I wasn’t that hungry.”
“You have to eat something, Liz. You can’t live off protein shakes and that wheatgrass.” His voice had a hint of exasperation.
“I’m just watching my weight. I can’t afford to let myself go, not with these possible contracts coming up.”
“You train hard every day Liz, you look amazing and I worry that you’ll make yourself ill.”
She grinned at him coyly, “Do I? Look amazing?”
“Trust you to only focus on that part,” he huffed, stifling a smile.
Liz stood up and picked up their plates. “A compliment from you is worth ten contracts to me, Jerome. Don’t you know that?” she placed the plates in the sink and turned to look at him as she leaned back against the counter.
Jerome scraped back his chair and rose to his feet, his eyes steady on hers, “I thought you knew. You always look amazing to me.”
“Well it’s nice to hear it sometimes, Jerome.” She spoke softly and Jerome could sense her sincerity. “I need to hear it.”
Liz lowered her eyes and nervously fiddled with the tie of her robe.
For the first time in a while her hard, cool exterior was replaced by vulnerability, like the young girl he first met on the photo shoot ten years ago.
She still craved his attention after all these years together.
Wasn’t that what she’d been telling him, why she’d ended up in someone else’s bed? Jerome’s heart sank.
“I’ll try and remember that,” he replied quietly
Liz looked up at him and smiled shyly. “Thank you.”
Jerome stepped around the table and edged towards the door, “I need to get ready.”
“I know. It’s okay. Thank you for today, for spending it with me.”
“I’ll try harder, Liz, I will, but it’s going to be hard this month.”
“I know. But at least today was a start.”
“Yes it was.”