5. Luca
5
LUCA
“ C an I ask you something embarrassing?” Luca had been sitting on the question for almost half an hour, but with the Jun_iper video winding down and bedtime looming, it was now or never, and never wasn’t sitting right.
Not with the way he’d been feeling lately, and especially not with how good it felt to have West rubbing his feet.
Unfortunately, the foot rub stopped.
West froze, sizing Luca up warily.
After a moment’s consideration, he consented with a nod.
“It’s nothing bad,” Luca hastened to say.
“I’m not, like, gonna ask you if I can pick your nose or anything. I’m not that weird. At least, not tonight.”
He grinned to show West he was joking, and melted on the inside when West relaxed and gave him a small smile in return.
“Anyway, I was just wondering… can we cuddle? I know it’s a weird ask, but I’m so hormonal it’s ridiculous, and I’m pretty sure if I don’t snuggle up with someone, I’m gonna ugly cry.”
West’s expression decayed.
“You’re sad?”
“No, that’s not it, exactly. I?—”
Luca didn’t have time to explain that this early stage of pregnancy was whipping his hormones into a frenzy worse than dinnertime at the piranha exhibit, and that he was prone to feeling all kinds of random things, because West had already climbed out from beneath his legs and draped himself over him like a weighted blanket.
He buried his face in the crook of Luca’s shoulder, gathered him in his arms, and gave him a squeeze.
Luca’s sadness instantly melted away.
“I read online that having something heavy on top of you can help regulate your emotions,” West mumbled in barely more than a whisper, not lifting his head from the spot he’d found.
His lips brushed the collar of Luca’s t-shirt, almost touching skin.
“If I’m too heavy, you’ll tell me, right? I figured it would be fine, since… you know… but I’ll get up if I’m hurting you, or if this is going to endanger the baby.”
The baby.
Luca’s heart fluttered.
West hadn’t brought up his pregnancy since they’d parted ways after his heat, and while there had been no expectation that he would be involved in the baby’s life, knowing he was thinking about it gave Luca warm fuzzies.
“You’re not hurting me, and you’re not hurting the baby,” he assured him, nuzzling his cheek against the top of West’s head.
“You feel so good on top of me. God, I needed this.”
“I’ll look into buying you a weighted blanket.”
“You don’t need to buy me anything—unless this is bad for you. Are you not enjoying it?”
West’s arms tightened possessively.
“No, I am.”
“Then next time my hormones are making me weepy, I’ll just tag you in, and you can crush the bad times right out of me.”
A silence fell between them, heavy, but oddly pleasant.
Contemplative.
Luca had no clue what West was thinking, but that was nothing new.
He was an enigma on his best days, impossible to pin down.
Wildly creative.
Kindhearted.
Handsome inside and out.
Without thinking, Luca reached up and began to stroke his hair.
West went very still, then relaxed.
If he were a cat, Luca got the impression he would have begun to purr.
“It’s weird, being pregnant,” he admitted, matching West’s near whisper from before.
“Especially this early. Like, I know there’s a baby in there, but anyone looking at me would never be able to tell. Not even me. If I hadn’t set out to do this purposefully, I’d never know. I’d think all these mood swings and weird fluctuations in energy and appetite were coincidental, and I’d probably complain about it a couple times, load up on caffeine, and go about my day. But knowing why I feel this way? It makes it all so surreal. Like, there are these itty-bitty cells inside of me that are so small, they’re practically invisible, but here they are, making me feel things. Making me do things. It’s wild.” Eyes closed, he pressed his cheek a touch more firmly to West’s head so his lips were in West’s hair.
“I’m not a different person than I was before, but I’m not the same, either—I’m both him and me.”
“Him?” West asked.
“The baby. It’s too early to know the sex yet, but that’s what my heart is telling me.”
“You think I gave you a boy?”
West took his arm out from beneath Luca and pressed a hand to Luca’s belly.
The gesture was innocent enough, but it made Luca’s head swim with all the implications.
The deal was that the baby would be his and his alone, but here was West, taking ownership, making contact, asking after it.
He would be such an amazing dad and an even better partner, and while that wasn’t in the cards, the same hormones that had made Luca feel like he would die if he didn’t cozy up to someone were now holding an all-out rager in his pants, getting him rock hard for the man who would have been the perfect father for his baby.
“Maybe,” he mumbled, embarrassed and flustered and vibrating from desperate need.
“I don’t know. I’ve never been pregnant before. I could end up changing my mind.”
“A baby boy,” West murmured, the heat of his palm warming Luca’s belly.
“Is that what you wanted? We didn’t really talk about any of that when you asked if I would get you pregnant.”
Luca’s face caught fire.
“I don’t care about the sex. I’d be happy with a boy or a girl.”
“Mm. I can picture you with either. Maybe, if you want, we can try again after this baby is born so you can have one of each.”
Was West…
Was West flirting with him?
Straitlaced, literal West who had once balked at Luca’s suggestion of having sweet potatoes with dinner because he thought they were a dessert item?
No, he had to be mistaken.
West was too earnest and straightforward to flirt.
All he was doing was trying to be helpful.
Luca was the one making things weird by being horny about it.
“Maybe,” Luca offered.
Then, to save himself further embarrassment, he fished a hand between their bodies and took West’s hand off his stomach.
When West lifted his head and gave him a confused look, Luca smiled thinly and shrugged.
“It’s the hormones. They’re making me want to be with someone, and when you touch me like that, they make me want to be with you.”
“Oh. I see.”
Luca didn’t let go of West’s hand, nor did West try to take his hand away.
They remained near frozen, not speaking or moving—except for Luca’s heart, which was breaking land speed records.
Why did it feel like West was going to kiss him?
Was he going to kiss him?
The chemistry between them was so thick, Luca could barely breathe, but what if it was all in his head?
“Is there something I can do to help you?” West asked earnestly after a simmering pause.
“You know, kind of like how lying on you helped you feel less sad. Is there an equivalent to that for this?”
Luca’s mouth went dry.
“I mean, if you want to make out sometimes, that would probably take the edge off.”
“You want to make out… platonically?”
“Yeah. Just. Platonically.” Luca lowered his gaze, eyeing West’s lower lip.
“Just a couple of buds who made a baby together, kissing about it all the time.”
West’s lips parted.
His eyelids drooped.
Slowly, apprehensively, he angled his head to the side and brushed his lips over Luca’s.
It wasn’t a kiss, but with permission, it would be, and it made Luca shiver all the same.
“We can do that,” West whispered.
He closed his eyes, and Luca did, too.
“I’ll do anything to help you through this pregnancy. You just have to tell me what to do, and I’ll make it happen.”
Luca hummed in acknowledgment and threaded his fingers through West’s hair, using his grip to guide West’s lips to his not in allusion of a kiss, but in the absolute fact of it.
West made the smallest noise of pleasure—one Luca felt more than heard—and kissed him back with overwhelming certainty.
His hand tightened around Luca’s, their fingers intertwining.
Without thinking, Luca spread his legs.
His cock throbbed, aching for release—and as their bodies shifted and West’s own erection pressed up against his inner thigh, it almost got its wish.
West was hard for him.
Eager for him.
As desperate to fuck Luca as Luca was to spread his legs and let him in.
Emboldened by West’s display of desire, Luca hooked his legs over West’s hips and brought their groins together, rubbing himself on West while they kissed.
It was good.
So good.
Close to what they’d shared in Luca’s bed on their last night together, but not quite there yet—just a teasing taste of what had been, and what could someday be.
West’s free hand found its way to Luca’s ass and squeezed, pulling him closer, increasing the friction between them, until Luca was moaning into his mouth.
He wanted out of his pants desperately.
Wanted into West’s.
Wanted to feel that big cock inside of him, stretching him, pushing deep, turning his body into its plaything…
Clarity struck like lightning, and as it did, Luca shot out from beneath West like a greased eel, almost falling onto the floor in his haste to get away.
His chest was heaving, lungs burning.
He didn’t want to go, but how could he stay when what was supposed to be platonic was shaping up to be something better suited for a wet dream?
“Sorry, I… I just…” He swallowed hard, trying not to let the confusion and disappointment on West’s face break his heart.
“I need to go to… to bed for work tomorrow. Have a good night, okay?”
He fled the room before West could answer, locking himself in his bedroom, where he’d have his privacy.
As soon as the door was closed, he put his back to it, squeezed his eyes shut, and shoved his hand down his pants.
All it took was a few moments.
Gasping and shaking, he came into his fist.
Horniness now properly exorcised, a great wash of guilt possessed him.
Stomach in knots, he went to wash up and brush his teeth, then toppled like a felled tree into bed and considered his options.
West deserved an apology.
He had looked so sad and startled, and all because Luca hadn’t had enough self-control to keep his mind out of the gutter.
But it wasn’t like he could go downstairs and talk to him about it.
Not without running the risk of making the same mistake twice.
No, the safest option was to text him.
It wasn’t as personal, but it would keep Luca from jumping West’s bones, and that was what was most important.
With that resolution in mind, Luca got comfortable beneath the blankets, then fired off a series of texts.
hey, I’m really sorry about what just happened
it was totally a hormones thing, and I won’t let it happen again
are we still cool?
West
We’re cool :)
Sorry things are hard for you right now
God, were they.
Luca bit down on his lip, sheer willpower alone keeping him from sliding a hand back into his pants.
West
I meant what I said, though.
If there’s anything I can do to help you through your pregnancy, all you need to do is ask
But just so I know what to expect: do you still want to do the whole platonic kissing thing, or is it too much for you?
It was too much, and Luca knew it.
Not even five minutes into a make-out session and he’d been willing to go all the way.
But the thought of giving up West’s lips was too terrible to bear.
as long as you’re still cool with it, I think it’d help me a lot
West
Yeah, it’s fine by me.
I’m just glad to help you out
He was too good and pure for Luca’s bullshit.
Luca winced.
It wasn’t like he was taking advantage of West, but he still felt a pang of guilt all the same.
you’re sweet, thank you
I’m going to bed now, goodnight
West
Night
Conversation all wrapped up, Luca set his phone to “do not disturb” and placed it screen down on his bedside table for good measure.
In the dark, without distraction, he simmered in a mess of his own making.
He wanted West as more than just a friend, and while that was nothing new, it was the first time that taking their friendship to the next level felt within the realm of possibility.
He remembered West’s erection on his thigh.
The little sounds of pleasure he’d made.
Physical signs of arousal weren’t proof of emotional reciprocation, but the way West had been touching him, the way he’d kissed him…
Luca let out a quiet sigh and closed his eyes.
It was best not to worry about it.
All he had to do was keep it in his pants unless West told him otherwise.
Easy peasy, platonic squeezy.
He was going to be so normal about this.
The next nine months were going to be a piece of cake.