8. Tim
8
TIM
G iving birth was not on my bingo card for the year.
And, even if it had been, I would have planned to do it in a hospital, or as an intimate home birth…
not in the middle of a freaking forest during a pack run.
But there I was.
Conrad held me as I grunted, screamed, pushed, and cried.
God, I loved him.
I had no idea how I was pregnant.
It all seemed too unbelievable.
My head spun.
Conrad’s support was the only thing keeping me going.
“Okay,” Eric declared after some torturous amount of time and pain had passed, “baby’s crowning, Tim. I’m not going to lie: this part is going to suck. It’s going to burn, but you need to keep pushing during your contractions, okay?”
I whimpered but, as Conrad squeezed my hand and murmured, “You’ve got this, darlin’,” I nodded.
“Okay.”
The next wave of pain built, as did the pressure.
I grunted, bearing down to push with all my might.
Eric was right: this part was awful.
It stabbed and ached and burned .
Then the pressure eased a little.
“Good, Tim. You’re doing so well. Baby’s head is out. Wanna see?”
With my eyes clenched shut, I shook my head vehemently.
Did I want to see a baby’s head sticking out from between my legs?
No .
Hell no.
One million ‘no’s.
Eric chuckled.
“Fair. But, on the next contraction, I need you to push carefully. The shoulders are wider, so we need to be cautious.”
I wasn’t quite sure what he meant by ‘push carefully’, but I tried not to bear down as hard during the next lots of contractions.
Time seemed to stretch, and the new pain made me feel sick.
Then, suddenly, the pressure vanished completely as I felt something — the baby — slide out of me in one big rush.
Relieved, I slumped against Conrad’s warm, strong body.
I’d almost forgotten what had even happened when, moments later, a shrill wail rent the air.
“Well, hello, healthy lungs,” Eric said with a smile I could hear in his voice.
“Congratulations, guys; you’ve got a perfect little girl.”
My heart ached.
She was mine, yes, even if I hadn’t known about her.
But Conrad didn’t need to be roped into parenthood like this, boyfriend or not.
“ Tim .” Interrupting my morose thoughts, Conrad sounded awed.
I opened heavy eyes, not entirely sure when I’d shut them, to look up at him.
His gaze was laser-focused on the squirming ick-covered baby.
“Tim…she…” he scented the air, “she smells like me. Like us.”
“She’s also a healthy size,” Eric added, leaning over to carefully transfer her into Conrad’s arms, cradled across my chest.
“If I had to guess, I’d say she was full term. But we’ll do a proper checkup when we get back to the clinic.”
“But…we only started dating six months ago,” I argued weakly.
A comforting, solid warmth in my arms, the baby mewled and rooted against my soft pec.
When I glanced down, I wasn’t anticipating the intense emotion to hit me like it did.
She was perfect.
Even if I couldn’t quite reconcile the fact that she was mine —that she had come out of my body not even a minute earlier— she scented like the perfect blend of me and Conrad, and something unique to herself.
She was a little bear.
Her face was all squished, like a shriveled potato, but when Conrad breathily greeted, “Hi. Oh, hi , princess,” her expression smoothed out.
As dark blue eyes cracked open to stare back at him, I gasped.
It was like I’d cloned my boyfriend and made him pintsized.
“How…?” my voice wobbled.
Conrad smoothed his thumb over her sticky cheek.
Subconsciously, I moved her so she could find the food source she seemed desperate for.
“I’ve been thinking about it while you brought her into the world,” he confessed, “and, sweetheart, were you at the Unlocking party in June?”
My stomach clenched and I groaned, then panicked that there was another surprise inside me.
“You’ve still got to deliver the placenta,” Eric said, “but it’ll be quick and easy. You can feed her while you do.”
“Tim?” Conrad prompted.
“The party?”
Swallowing, I bit my lip.
“The dreams…”
“I don’t remember much from that party,” my boyfriend continued slowly, “but the beta I was with…he used a lot of lube. Like…a lot . He felt warm, and being inside him…” Remembering our audience, Conrad cleared his throat.
“Anyway. I don’t think I was with a beta that night, Tim. Am I wrong?”
“I didn’t remember…” Fresh tears slid down my cheeks.
“I…I had a bit to drink. Then the spell was cast and I…” I shrugged helplessly.
“I woke up at home in the tub, fully clothed and soaking wet. I figured I got my drunk ass home before I could get in trouble.”
I felt so stupid.
So stupid and reckless and irresponsible.
My cheeks heated.
“The dreams started a little after that. I just thought they were dreams.”
"So much lube...like an omega, right?"
"I could stay inside you forever."
"Oh, fuck, I'm gonna come."
They were memories .
“Conrad,” I sniffled, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t…”
“Shh,” he cuddled me and kissed my temple. “Stop. Neither of us knew. Neither of us remembered.”
“Yeah, but you couldn’t have known. I shouldn’t have even been there. I…God, I fucked up.”
“What’s fucked up is the scent blocking and blindfolds and stuff,” he argued softly, stroking his thumb over our daughter’s skin again. She snuffled adorably as she fed. His lips curled upwards. “We might have put two and two together sooner without them.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I looked back down at the baby. Our baby.
Oh gods, we have a baby.
“She’s going to need a name.” New panic rose as the magnitude of everything else hit me, too. “And clothes. And a crib. A-and we’ll need to work out custody, or…”
“Shhh,” Conrad nuzzled his cheek against the side of my head, reminding me very much of his bear form. “We’ll get there, sweetheart. Together. I promise.”
Even though I knew it wasn’t going to be that easy, his gentle assurances calmed me.
Whatever happened next, we would be in it together.
Then he made the moment even more perfect by adding, “I love you, Tim. This is a surprise, but it’s a good surprise, right?”
Choked up, I nodded. “It is.” I tore my gaze from our little bear bombshell so I could nuzzle my face into his. “And I love you, too.”