Chapter 4
4
3 Months Later
L othian woke to a strange sensation.
It took him a moment to realize what it was.
A fluttering in his belly, like wings, or —
His hands flew to the swell of his abdomen.
Instinctively, he turned to his side.
But of course, the bed was empty.
Just as it had been since the morning after his heat.
His lungs grew tight and he forced down the cry that sprang to his lips.
He blinked away tears.
It seemed he was always crying these days, about something or other.
Yesterday, he’d had a weeping fit because his housekeeper had cleaned up tea before he was finished.
Before that, it had been when his favorite shoes no longer fit his swollen feet.
Most nights, it was because he went to bed alone.
A light tap came on the bedroom door.
Lothian wiped his eyes.
“Come in, Dante.”
His friend entered carrying a bouquet of flowers.
“Aren’t they lovely? White roses and lily of the valley, for new beginnings and a return of happiness.”
Lothian pulled the covers over his head.
“No.”
“Don’t you at least want to smell them?” Dante sat on the side of the bed.
The scent of the flowers wafted over Lothian.
His stomach turned.
He waved Dante away, pressing fingers to his mouth.
“Take them away!”
Dante sighed and carried them to the other side of the room.
He replaced the wilted bouquet on the dresser with the fresh one.
“I can’t believe the scent of flowers is making you ill.”
Lothian stroked his hand over his burgeoning belly.
“Too sweet. Now if they smelled like pickles, I wouldn’t mind.”
Dante snorted.
“I’ll be sure to tell Ryland that for next time.”
“There isn’t going to be a next time.”
Dante shrugged.
“That’s what you’ve said almost every day for the last three months, and every day he’s sent something new.”
“I’ve told him not to!” Lothian stood and wrapped himself in a dressing gown.
“It’s absurd.”
“It’s not. It’s romantic . He’s trying to apologize. Why don’t you forgive him?”
Lothian couldn’t say why he was being so reticent.
All he knew was that when he thought about forgiving Ryland for his abandonment, his heart shriveled into a little ball.
Anger and terror vied for top position in his stomach, turning it more sour than the smell of flowers did.
“I just can’t.”
“Gods, you’re stubborn.” He sighed.
“Shall I have the maid come help you dress?”
“Ye—” Lothian felt a cramping in his belly, followed by a trickle of fluid between his thighs.
Horror chilled him as he reached between his legs and his fingers came away wet with blood.
“Dante!”
Dante hurried over.
“Back in bed with you. I shall send for the midwife.”
He made sure Lothian was settled against the pillows before rushing from the room.
Fresh tears stung Lothian’s eyes.
This time, he let them fall.
He stroked his belly gently and prayed to the gods that the baby would be okay.
This was not at all what he’d planned, but now that he had it, he wasn’t willing to give it up.
In just a few months, he had grown accustomed to the feeling of sharing his life with another being.
He even looked forward to late night feedings and changing nappies.
“Please don’t go.” Lothian rested his hands on the mound of his belly.
The cramping had passed for the moment.
He stared up at the ceiling as tears slid down his face.
Babies had always been part of his plan, though he had thought he’d be bonded before they came.
But that was life, wasn’t it?
Always unexpected.
Some time later Dante entered the room.
When his gaze found Lothian still in bed, it softened.
“The midwife is on her way. Don’t you worry.”
Lothian chuckled and wiped at a tear.
“Too late for that.”
Dante sat on the side of the bed and patted his arm.
“It’ll be all right. This happens sometimes. We know this.”
They had learned all about pregnancy complications as newly mature omegas, but experiencing it was completely different.
Lothian felt as if he had failed his child already.
If he lost the baby .
.
.
.
A sob crawled up his throat.
Dante took his hand.
“None of that, now. We don’t know anything for sure. It’s best to think positively.”
“I know.” Lothian tried to form a smile.
He wiped his cheeks.
“I just hadn’t realized how much I wanted this baby, I guess. I mean, I always wanted children, but that was just a general feeling. I’ve been sharing my body with him for the last five months, and he is a part of me.”
Dante squeezed his fingers.
“ Him , hmm? So sure it’s a boy?”
Lothian nodded and caressed his bump.
“I think so.”
“Alpha, beta, or omega?”
Lothian shook his head.
“I don’t know and I don’t care. As long as he’s okay.”
“You’ll both be fine,” Dante said.
He prayed to the gods it would be so.
They sat in silence until the midwife, Agnes, arrived.
She was an older woman, with white hair and lines around her eyes and mouth.
She was also quite knowledgeable about birthing and herbs.
She had come highly recommended from another omega Dante knew who had birthed four healthy babes.
Agnes took in their expressions as she rinsed her hands in water.
“Let’s not worry until we have reason, gentlemen.” She laid back the covers and sat at the foot of the bed.
“Now, let’s see what’s going on here, shall we?”
“I just stood up and felt a pain.”
“Well, lovey, unfortunately baring babes comes with quite a bit of that.” She lifted Lothian’s nightshirt to his knees and parted his legs.
Lothian held his breath as she began to examine him.
Agnes hummed as her fingers gently explored his belly.
Lothian gasped as he felt that fleeting fluttering again.
Agnes raised her gaze to him.
“It feels like bubbles.”
“That’s baby moving about. That’s a good sign.” Dante and Lothian both exhaled in relief.
Agnes continued feeling around Lothian’s belly and inspecting his opening.
“You don’t seem to be bleeding now. Any more cramping?”
“No, not since Dante made me lie down.”
Agnes nodded.
“That’s good. I think you’re both going to be okay. Some bleeding is common during pregnancy.”
“And the cramping?” Lothian squeezed Dante’s hand.
“It was quick but very painful.”
“I would like you to stay off your feet for a while. Rest. If the cramping returns or increases, send for me immediately.” Agnes washed her hands again while Dante helped Lothian cover back up.
“I’ll see that he does, Agnes. Thank you.”
She waved Dante off and gave them both a smile.
“Try to relax. Let your friend take care of you.”
Lothian nodded.
“I will.”
Agnes left then, with a promise to return in a few days to check on Lothian and the babe.
As soon as she was gone, Dante rounded on him.
“She was polite enough not to say anything, Lo, but I’m not.”
Lothian pulled the covers up to his chin.
“What now?”
“You need to send for Ryland.”
Lothian stared at his friend, trying to come up with an argument against his plan.
The truth was, though, he wanted Ryland near.
Every morning he woke up and for a moment forgot the other male wasn’t beside him.
He reached for him.
He wished he was there right then.
Would he come, after Lothian had told him off more than once?
“I don’t know, Dante.”
“Think about the baby. Agnes said it was best to have your alpha around between now and the birth as much as possible.”
Lothian sniffled.
“He’s not my alpha.”
Dante scoffed.
“Only because you haven’t let him be.”
“I still don’t know anything about him.” Lothian picked at the embroidery on the blanket, unable to meet his friend’s gaze.
“That’s rubbish, Lo. You know plenty. He’s honorable and kind, hard-working, intelligent, caring. What more could you want to know?”
“About his life growing up, his family, what he wants from the future! Many things. We don’t even know if we’re compatible companions.” Lothian crossed his arms.
Dante sat in the chair beside the bed and smoothed his skirts around his legs.
“More rubbish. If you weren’t so compatible with him, you wouldn’t be so scared. As for the rest, ask him. You’re not going to find out by ignoring his attempts to spend time with you.”
Lothian humphed.
“I’m not scared.” He was terrified.
He had felt the first stirrings of affection for Ryland during the small amount of time they’d spent together.
If he was to be in his presence longer, he was sure he would fall for the noble knight.
His Ommie and Papa had loved each other to distraction, and look what had happened to them.
Ommie died, and Papa couldn’t bear to live without him.
The hurt he had felt waking up alone was bad enough.
If he let himself love Ryland, and then lost him, he didn’t know if he would survive, either.
Dante leaned his elbows on his knees and met Lothian’s gaze.
“I understand. You’ve been alone a long time. Letting someone new in is frightening. But Ryland is a good man, and he’s the father of your child. He at least deserves a chance.”
Lothian licked his lips.
“I’m not alone. I have you.”
Dante sighed.
“You are my dearest friend in all the world, but you know that’s not what I’m talking about. Stop being so stubborn.”
Lothian considered Dante’s words and knew he was right.
His heart sped up at the prospect of reaching out to Ryland.
What if the other man didn’t feel the same?
He had left, after all.
“Fine.” Lothian snuggled into the bed.
“You may tell him to come by the house tomorrow afternoon. But I make no promises about getting along with him.”
Dante clapped.
“Excellent.”
The next day, Ryland found him resting in the drawing room.
“Dante went to, um.” Ryland scanned the big room as if it could tell him something.
Lothian wondered what these walls would say if they could and was glad they were silent.
He had spent too many nights crying over Ryland to want the alpha to know.
Still feeling raw, he went on the defensive.
“You wanted to see me.”
Ryland spread his hands in front of himself.
“Dante said you had a scare.”
“It was nothing.”
“Should you be out of bed?”
Lothian motioned for Ryland to sit.
“As long as I’m off my feet, the midwife said it was okay.”
“And the baby?”
Warmth spread through Lothian’s chest.
“He’s fine as well.” He cupped the swell of his stomach.
Ryland’s golden gaze followed the movement.
“I’m glad. And I’m sorry. When I left, I didn’t mean to make you think I wanted nothing more from you than bedding.”
A bubble of hope bloomed in Lothian’s chest, but he swallowed it.
“What else was I supposed to imagine when I woke alone?” He hated the hurt in his voice, though he knew it was the true cause of his anger toward Ryland.
What they had shared had felt special, and waking alone had made him feel cheap .
Ryland sighed.
“You have to know how hard it was for me. I couldn’t stand it any longer.”
Lothian stiffened.
“Couldn’t stand being with me any longer?”
Ryland cursed and stood.
He closed the distance between them and slid his arms around Lothian.
Lothian wanted to melt into that embrace, but he remained still.
Ryland leaned in and ran his nose along Lothian’s throat, breathing deeply, as if he couldn’t get enough of Lothian’s scent.
“No, you little idiot. I couldn’t stand being there and not claiming you. It took the last shred of my willpower to leave you.” He brushed his mouth over Lothian’s.
“I wanted— want you so much I can hardly stand it, but I promised myself I would let you come to me, to make the final decision.”
The words struck Lothian like a blow to the chest.
He gasped as he finally understood what Dante had been trying to tell him.
Ryland was waiting.
For him.
Fresh tears stung his eyes and this time he let them fall.
Ryland kissed them from his cheeks.
Lothian let himself cry.
He relaxed into Ryland’s hold and wrapped his arms around the alpha, pressing his hot face into Ryland’s tunic.
Ryland’s hands stroked his back in comfort.
When he was all cried out, he looked up at the alpha.
He must look a mess, but Ryland was smiling at him.
“What do we do now?”
He brushed his hand over Lothian’s cheek.
“First, we get to know each other, like we should have done months ago. And then, when you’re ready, you let me claim you. We can have a Bonding Ritual first, if you prefer.” He waved his hand as if that part was incidental.
Poor Ryland.
He had no idea Lothian had been planning for the day of his bonding since his eleventh year.
He chuckled.
“And the baby?”
Ryland slid a hand between them to cup Lothian’s belly.
“I can’t wait to meet him.”