4. Parker
4
PARKER
T he empty closet mocks me as I lie in bed, tossing and turning.
I finally get up and close it, hating the mess of a man staring back at me in the mirror.
My hair is sticking up every which way and my eyes are red-rimmed.
I turn off the nearby lamp, not wanting to see the aftereffects this horrible day has had on my appearance.
It's a breakup. I've been through many before and can get through this one the same way.
Only for history to keep repeating itself.
I thought I got it right this time.
He said I deserved to find someone who loved me as much as I loved them.
I’m no longer convinced that's in the cards for me.
My chest caves and each breath cuts at the back of my throat. I should probably see about finding a new home for the bunny tomorrow. No way can I care for a pet right now, not with the upcoming promotion and all the traveling I'll have to do soon.
I should have seen Eric not being too fazed when I told him about me having to go out of town a lot these next few months as a sign.
He probably was more relieved than anything, already making plans with his married lover.
I sigh, running my fingers through my hair.
Something shiny sticks out under the bed.
I walk closer, bending down to retrieve it from the floor.
My stomach lurches the moment I realize what it is, and it falls back to the floor.
I didn't need the light on to recognize a condom wrapper. Eric and I didn't use condoms.
We haven't had sex in weeks because he always said he was too tired. He was having sex with that man in our bed. I really am an idiot. Blinded by love.
Chest caving, I pick the wrapper up again and toss it in the trash can. Instead of crawling back into bed, I grab a clean blanket from the closet and walk out into the living room. If he had no shame fucking his lover in our bed and couldn’t care less about leaving behind evidence, he probably didn't bother to change the sheets either.
I cringe, holding the quilt to my chest.
The bunny's ears stand up straight when I get closer to the couch, he hops to the bottom of the cage from the top ledge, standing up on the bars.
I chuckle, sticking my fingers through the bars to stroke his soft fur. "Hey there, little one. Miss me already? You're in luck, looks like I'll be crashing out here with you tonight. We should both get some rest. I don't have to work tomorrow but the day really wore me down, and I'm pretty dead on my feet."
He wiggles his nose, tilting his head.
"Good talk. Glad we had this conversation. Goodnight and sweet bunny dreams."
He wiggles his nose again. I resist the urge to pick the adorable guy up and cuddle with him on the couch. Maybe I don't have to find him a new home right away.
He's better company than no company at all, and all his noises are much better than the still silence will be when I'm completely alone again.