Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
S teven’s bandmates were strewn across his living room. They wore black T-shirts and torn jeans, and their hair was long and wild, as though this were the 1970s rather than 2024. Darcy stepped through the chaos, greeting everyone until she found Steven’s bedroom and closed herself inside. Steven was stationed in front of his bed with his hands on his hips. He had stacks of jeans, shirts, socks, and underwear out across the mattress, plus an e-reader, two cell phone chargers, a little journal, and three guitars. It was hard to know how much to pack for a monthlong tour. They’d googled it only to discover that band people didn’t write articles about that. They were too messy and unorganized.
Steven looped his arm over Darcy’s shoulder and squeezed her against him. Darcy’s stomach swirled. It had been two weeks since she’d learned she was pregnant, and she still hadn’t told a soul. Reckless. You’re reckless. She reasoned that most people were reckless because they were frightened of something. Her terror extended to all regions of her life.
“I’m going to miss you,” Steven said.
“I’m going to miss you, too.”
“It’s wild. Just a few months ago, I hardly knew you. And now I feel like I can’t go a few days without seeing you.” Steven laughed. “I’m pathetic.”
“Me too.” Darcy swallowed the lump in her throat and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. She promised herself she’d tell him about the baby as soon as she got home from Italy and he returned from the tour. It was a month more of secrecy, tops. That was when they could think about their next steps. Not now. It would be too much at once.
“Can I say something?” Steven asked tenderly.
“Of course.”
Steven hesitated. “You haven’t seemed totally like yourself lately. It’s like you’re a little sick or a little tired all the time. It has me worried. Do you think you should go to the doctor before you go to Rome?”
Darcy’s heart thrummed. She’d thought she was hiding it so well. She’d thought Steven’s “love blinders” were too powerful for him to notice what was up. She was a fool. And Steven was too good not to notice. Too caring.
“I’m really okay,” she tried to assure him. “I’m just stressed.”
“Because of Carlotta.”
“Because of what I want to achieve,” Darcy insisted. “It isn’t Carlotta’s fault. She’s giving me a fantastic chance.”
Steven gave her a look that slightly irritated her. It meant he didn’t like Carlotta. He didn’t like how Carlotta pushed her or extended Darcy beyond her preconceived notions of who she could be. But why? Why wouldn’t he like that? Was it because he wanted her to have babies and stay on Nantucket forever and not become something? Did he just want to be a rock star while she gave birth?
She took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Steven is one of the best things that ever happened to you. Rome will be one of the best things, too.
Plenty of women in her family proved that women could have it all. Darcy wanted it all, too.
Darcy helped the guys pack up the van they planned to drive off Nantucket and on to their first gig in Boston. They planned to crash on the floor of a friend’s place tonight, and they had other places lined up for sleeping later that week—friends of friends and people they’d met when they tried out college before dropping out. Darcy could see the energy behind their eyes; the feeling that everything they’d dreamed of was unfolding before them. She guessed a few of them assumed this was it. That from now on, they would become something special. Maybe they didn’t even think they’d move back to Nantucket.
For a moment, Darcy imagined returning from Rome with millions in investments for her app. Steven would announce his record deal and suggest they move somewhere more invigorating. New York? Seattle? San Francisco? Someone would write a magazine article about them being a “power couple.” Somebody else would interview them on the news.
Where does the baby come into this?
Steven hugged and kissed Darcy outside the van and cupped her face in his hands. “I love you. I’ll call you tonight after the show.”
“I love you, too.” Darcy bit her tongue to keep from crying. “I’ll try to make it to some of your shows when I return.”
“You better.” Steven kissed the tip of her nose and climbed up into the van.
Darcy was struck with a sudden fear. What if you never see him again?
What if he falls in love with someone else on the road?
They’d only been dating a few months. It stood to reason he’d fall in love out there in the wild. He was a guitarist. A handsome musician. Women went crazy for that.
“Please don’t forget me,” Darcy breathed to the air as their van turned the corner and disappeared. “I’m having your baby.”
As though he sensed her, Steven texted right that second:
I LOVE YOU.
Darcy’s chest seized, and she fell forward and gripped her knees. You’re going to be fine. Stay strong.
Darcy returned home to finish packing her suitcase. Her trip to Rome was planned for two weeks, but Carlotta had mentioned the potential to extend it, so she cleaned out the fridge and left everything tidy for her return. Nothing was worse than traveling fifteen-plus hours only to step into your mess.
Samantha was waiting for Darcy on the veranda of the Jessabelle House when she pulled in. She wore a tank top and had the novel The Goldfinch spread across her legs. “There she is,” Sam said.
Darcy sat beside her mother and leaned her head against the back of the porch chair. It wasn’t long till they had to get on the road. But they shared a soft and quiet moment.
“I bought a flight,” Sam announced suddenly, breaking Darcy’s reverie. “I’m coming to Rome next week.”
Darcy brightened. “Mom! That’s incredible.”
She imagined the three of them together on the ancient streets, swapping stories, window-shopping, and eating until they burst.
“I wish I could come sooner,” Sam said. “But I know you and your sister will be up to your ears in work. You won’t have much time for me.”
“We’ll make time,” Darcy assured her.
That night was an intimate going-away party for Reese, Oriana, Joel, and Darcy. It was held at Meghan and Hugo’s place on Martha’s Vineyard. Sam and Darcy planned to spend the night at Oriana and Reese’s afterward. Carlotta was sending a car at seven thirty a.m. to take them to the airport.
Darcy and Sam arrived at the party a few minutes after seven.
Steven texted with a photograph of their stage setup.
We go on at eight thirty.
Darcy wrote back:
GO GET ’EM!!
Meghan opened the front door and ushered Sam and Darcy inside to find a quaint Coleman party. Wine flowed easily, and there was plenty to nibble on before dinner, including salmon puffs and a spinach and goat cheese tart. Reese was in the corner with Benny, Peter, and Tyler, and Joel was across the room from him. There was no sign of Lauren. Darcy’s thoughts swirled. It was bizarre that Joel and Reese were going to Rome together. It didn’t seem like they were talking. But maybe Darcy had it all wrong.
Sam fell into conversation with Hugo and Meghan about Hugo’s recent hiking trip with their son. Hugo said it had been a healing time for them after everything that happened last year. Darcy thought everyone is going through something. And then her belly seized, and she thought she was going to throw up. She hurried to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. But just before she entered, she heard Oriana say, “That heinous woman. Carlotta.”
Darcy paused outside the kitchen and waited. She knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but she needed to know what Oriana was talking about. In no world could Darcy call Carlotta heinous. She was the single most creative, inspirational, and beautiful woman she’d ever met. What is she talking about?
“I mean, she got Dad and Joel back together,” Alexis was saying to her mother.
“I don’t trust it,” Oriana said. “I feel like she’s up to something. Like she’s playing with them.”
“Is that why you’re going to Rome? You want to keep an eye on them?” Alexis asked.
“Partially. But I also want to watch out for Darcy,” Oriana said under her breath. “I don’t know what to make of it. Darcy didn’t even go to college. She doesn’t know anything about the app world. It feels like Carlotta’s just dangling her over the lion’s den.”
“Maybe it’s a really good idea for an app?” Alexis asked.
But Darcy didn’t wait around to hear what else Oriana had to say. She bolted down the hallway and locked herself in the bathroom just in time to vomit everything she’d eaten that day. She shivered over the toilet as her eyes spilled tears.
Nobody believes in you. Everyone thinks you’re being conned.
It was a terrible feeling. Darcy couldn’t make sense of it. Until now, she’d adored Oriana. She’d revered her. She’d considered herself one of the Coleman women who could do it all. But in Oriana’s eyes, Darcy hadn’t even gone to college and was therefore too “dumb” to have success. Shame turned Darcy’s cheeks hot. She thought about telling Reese that she couldn’t make it tomorrow. She thought about burrowing herself away in her apartment and never leaving it again.
But that was what a quitter would do. And Darcy had fought too hard to turn back.
Darcy left the bathroom and nearly stumbled headlong into Joel. Joel was staring at the floor with his hands in his pockets. He hardly flinched.
“Joel! Hey.” Darcy’s voice wavered. “Are you, um, looking forward to tomorrow?”
Joel raised his eyebrows. “Yeah. Sure.”
Darcy wasn’t convinced in the slightest. “Can I ask you something?”
Joel shrugged.
“What do you think of Carlotta?”
Joel hesitated before he answered. “I think she’s very business savvy. I also think that makes her manipulative.”
A cold stone dropped into Darcy’s belly. She wanted to ask do you think she’s manipulating me? But she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer.
“I’m careful around her,” Joel offered. “I think we all should be.”
Darcy bowed her head and glanced back into the party. Oriana was telling a story, moving her hands around boisterously as she laughed. Darcy wanted to speed up the next couple of days. She wanted to leap forward and be in Rome.