Chapter 5 #2
Heat and wet and all-consuming demand infused Levi’s kiss.
Caleb moaned under the assault of lips and tongue, of hands cupping his ass and fingers digging into flesh, prying between his cheeks.
His heart thrilled at the nearness as those fingers snuck ever closer to his opening.
Part of him wanted to wrap both legs around Levi’s waist and trust and hope.
The part of him that insisted on leather and kilts couldn’t do it.
He wormed his hands between their bodies and heaved on Levi’s chest. “Nice try.” Deftly, he squirmed out from the tight confinement of hard body and harder wall and wheeled so he was behind Levi, his hand clasped tight around Levi’s thick wrist. He let his weight rest on the other man’s back, pushing him face forward against the wall as he placed the captured hand flush to the cold concrete. “Spread.”
A low, almost imperceptible moan left Levi’s lips as his eyes closed. A thin line appeared between his brows, but he stepped one foot out of his constricting jeans and spread his feet as asked.
Caleb didn’t waste any time. A small squirt of lube on his finger was enough to gain entrance and Levi responded with a hiss and thrust. His fingers curled against the wall, his back arched. “Cally…”
“Shh.” Caleb added another finger, the stretch making Levi grunt uncomfortably, though he didn’t pull away. “Sorry, babe. Don’t want to waste any slick. The bottle’s small and my cock is big.”
Levi snorted. “So, use it already.” He thrust his hips back harder, taking Caleb’s fingers and the stretch with a grimace. Why he allowed the pain, Caleb had never been brave enough to ask, but he only ever complained when Caleb went too slowly.
“Patience.” Caleb curled his free hand around the back of Levi’s neck and flattened his palm on his back, just at the top of his spine. “Be still.”
“Ungh.” Levi thrust again and reached for his own cock. “Fuck me. Let’s go.” He sounded impatient, as he always did by this point, eager to have whatever Caleb would give him.
“You’re not ready.” Caleb moved close so his cock rubbed in Levi’s crack above his hand, and he watched thin streamers of fluid smear over Levi’s creamy skin.
“Fuck you. I’m never ready. Just do it.” He reached behind himself and wrenched Caleb’s hand away from his ass. “Come on.” His teeth were clenched and he heaved away from the wall with one hand. “Now!”
He was getting loud. He always got loud, and Caleb soothed a hand down his back. “Gonna get caught, lover.”
“With your dick up my ass, I hope… move it! At least make it something worth getting caught for!”
That picture was too much. Caleb aimed and pushed; the rest of the precious lube already spread over his eager cock.
Imagining anyone walking in on them now, with Levi’s head thrown back like that and a howl escaping his lips, and Caleb was all-over goosebumps and need.
He thrust hard and fast, making it necessary for Levi to brace himself with both hands to keep from being pounded into the wall.
He’d thought, at one point that evening, that a night of dancing would be topped off with a long, delightful seduction and Levi’s legs in the air, but this was a decent alternative. It was something—given he hadn’t ever expected the dancing to be interrupted by fists and fury.
He wanted to say something. Anything. But his words failed—vanished into the cloud of lust where his only guidepost as Levi’s back, the tight tension in his shoulders and the sheen of sweat forming down his spine.
Caleb had to hang on for dear life, even as he fucked. If he lost sight of Levi—of them—he risked getting lost somewhere in the murky depths of the rest of his life. He needed this counterpoint to the viciousness out in the rest of the world.
Levi dropped his head, formed his hands into fists and arched his back into Caleb’s thrusting.
His shouts had diminished to soft grunts, almost whimpers, and Caleb planed a hand over his back, sliding it up to curl around his neck again.
The touch seemed to soothe Levi. At last, he reached between his legs and stroked his cock back to full hardness.
Eventually, he found a counter to Caleb’s rhythm.
His hips began to move, like he finally heard the music Caleb had pounding through him rather than like he was braced for impact.
“Go,” he panted, stroking himself faster. “Hard, babe. Get it out.”
It. He always said that, like Caleb was fucking something out of himself. He did thrust harder, faster—determined to push Levi beyond speech.
“That’s it,” Levi encouraged. “Fuck it out.”
Whatever ‘it’ is.
Caleb didn’t know why he never asked. What did Levi think he had to purge? Why did he think he deserved to take the brunt of whatever it was?
Instead of asking, Caleb moved faster, harder, until his legs shook and his back ached and his balls rose up tight and hard and painfully ready for release.
“Let it go!” Levi snarled and came, cum spurting all over the wall and the floor at his feet.
Levi’s body stiffened and his ass clenched tight, and as much as Caleb wanted to hold on, control whatever it was Levi knew he wanted to get rid of, he couldn’t.
His own orgasm washed through him, a tidal wave of relief nearly knocking him off his feet.
As it was, he slid an arm around Levi’s waist to help hold himself up.
The warmth of contact, slippery sweat, heaving breaths and closeness…
It should have been enough. He wanted it to be enough.
He held on tighter and closed his eyes, resting his cheek against Levi’s back.
Levi rested a hand on his forearm, then began to stroke lightly as they both tried to catch their breath.
After a moment, Levi straightened and spun in the cramped space between Caleb and the wall so he could wrap both muscled arms around Caleb. “It’s okay, babe.” His rested his head on Caleb’s shoulder, taking as much comfort as he gave with the embrace. “We’ll get there. It’s okay.”
How Levi knew, how he always knew, Caleb had no idea. But he did, and every time the sex wasn’t enough, Caleb got closer to the inevitable realisation—something was going to give. He didn’t want it to be them. He didn’t say anything, just clung and tried to breathe.
Finally, he drew back and smiled—a little, watery, timid smile, he knew, but it was the best he could manage. “I still have something to show you.” Bending, he pulled up Levi’s jeans and shorts and carefully tucked him inside.
For once, Levi didn’t bat his hands away to do it himself. He silently watched Caleb take care of him, hands resting easy on Caleb’s forearms, gaze soft.
“Come sit down.” Caleb took his hand and guided him towards the piano bench before he re-fastened his own pants then smoothed down the kilt.
Levi still watched avid, but silent, as he stood behind the bench.
Carefully, feeling the weight of Levi’s eyes on him, Caleb smoothed the skirt under his ass as he took his place at the piano. He patted the space next to him. “Sit.”
“You sure you should be playing now?” Levi snuck a glance at the closed, locked door of the tiny practice room that now smelled distinctly of man-sex. “What about the security guard?”
“Babe.” Caleb patted Levi’s leg. “Bar brawling, breaking and entering, and sex in a public place… I’m pretty sure a little piano playing is least on our list of crimes tonight.”
“How the hell did I get mixed up with a bad-ass like you?” Levi asked, a grin breaking through at last.
Caleb straightened and preened a tiny bit. “It’s the outfit. You love this look, and you know it.”
“You have no idea…” Levi’s voice didn’t hold the same teasing note this time, and he gave the leather draped over Caleb’s thighs a light pat. “I think you’re gorgeous. You know that?”
Caleb let a soft, genuine smile filter through his earlier unease. He did know. Levi never judged. Never suggested he wear something less flashy, never faltered taking his hand in public when someone sneered. He knew.
“I know,” Caleb whispered. “So, this is what I wanted to show you. No more talking for a minute.”
Levi nodded and stopped patting, his hand warm and comforting on Caleb’s thigh.
Slow, at first, Caleb trilled through a few scales, testing the stiffness in his trampled hand.
Thankfully, it seemed he’d got away with just a few bruises and no more serious damage.
Satisfied, he let the scales lead into what he really wanted to play for the man at his side.
The man who was always, unfailingly, at his side.
Soft chords lifted from the piano, spinning on whirling waves around them—delicate, fast, determined vibrations of sound and rhythm—and Caleb closed his eyes, swaying with the music he’d created to express what he never seemed to find the right words for.
He didn’t know how to say what Levi deserved to hear.
But he knew how to play. He knew how to make the music say it for him, and tonight, every sweet note hit right, every tremulous uncertainty came out true and sure under his fingers, and he ended with a smile on his face and the knowledge he’d expressed what he really meant this time.
Levi said nothing.
Minutes stretched and elongated, like elastic bands ready to snap back and sting.
“So?” Caleb said at last, his heart trembling in its rhythm.
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard that before,” Levi said at last. “Who’s it by?”
Caleb blinked at him. “Really?”
Levi actually blushed. “You wrote it.”
Caleb tried hard not to turn away. “For you. About you. And me.”
Still, Levi stared at him, a blank, confused look in his eyes.
Caleb rose and hurried to the door. “Never mind. We should get out of here.” He was feeling that constriction again—the one that cut off his air, left him panting for breath and feeling like he was insane, a freak, split in half and no one would ever understand he had two sides and one of them was suffocating to death.
“Wait!” Levi spun in place on the bench. “Wait, Cally, just… I don’t understand.”
“I know. It doesn’t matter.” He got the lock disengaged and turned the handle. “Let’s go.” The smell of their sex lingered, damp, twisted, filling his nostrils with the stench of all the things the coupling hadn’t been.
Levi scrambled up, planting a hand on the door before Caleb could leave the room. “Please, babe, don’t run.”
Caleb dropped his gaze and his voice as well until it came out barely audible. “I’m not running.”
“Yes, you are. You always run when I’m too slow to keep up.” He cupped Caleb’s chin and lifted his head. “Just wait for me. I’ll get there, yeah?”
Caleb shrugged. Would he? Caleb was beginning to wonder if they were even running the same course.
“Hey. Look at me,” Levi leaned close, brushing his lips over Caleb’s, and the touch was so soft, so careful.
Caleb sighed and parted his own lips. He couldn’t explain.
He couldn’t really tell Levi what was missing, what he wanted.
The man was already so supportive of the abnormalities Caleb couldn’t hide.
He didn’t have the right to ask for more.
So instead, he gave—letting Levi kiss him, accepting the distraction and willing it to be enough. Again.
By the time they made it back to the dorms and up to Levi’s room, all the heat between them had dissipated.
Caleb was tired. He was ready for sleep, ready to curl himself in under the covers and nurse his confusion until either it got light enough to get up or he actually slept.
He didn’t care which. He lay quietly, his back to Levi, and kept very still.
Behind him, Levi’s breathing never really evened out into sleep, either.
He wasn’t sure how they’d got to this place where there was too much to say and neither of them seemed to have a clue what any of it was or how to say it.