Chapter Six #3
This was it. The physical evidence of what Maggie had told her about—Raven’s “particular preferences.” The tools of the bedroom games he’d played with Kitty, the source of pleasures he believed no respectable lady could ever accept or understand.
Or was it that he was too ashamed to use them on a lady of breeding, especially his wife?
Ashley’s hand reached out before she could stop herself, fingers trembling as they touched one of the silk scarves. The fabric was incredibly soft, almost liquid against her skin. She lifted it from the cabinet, letting it slide through her fingers, and felt an unexpected flutter low in her belly.
What would it feel like to be bound with something so soft? To have her wrists tied with this silk while Raven…
She dropped the scarf as if burned, her cheeks flaming even though she was alone. What was she thinking? These were instruments of perversion, weren’t they? Things no decent woman should even acknowledge, let alone imagine using.
Didn’t Courtney mention Lucien used a blindfold?
But as she stared at the carefully arranged contents of the cabinet, Ashley found her revulsion melting into something more complicated. Curiosity, certainly. Confusion about why such things would appeal to anyone. But underneath that, something else—a tentative, terrifying fascination.
Maggie had said Kitty enjoyed these games. That Raven was skilled and attentive, that the restraints were about trust and sensation rather than cruelty. Could that really be true? Could something that seemed so scandalous actually be…pleasurable?
Ashley reached out again, this time touching one of the leather cuffs.
The exterior was smooth, butter-soft, but the interior was lined with velvet that felt like a caress against her fingertips.
Whoever had made this had clearly designed it for comfort despite its purpose.
This wasn’t an instrument of torture—it was something else entirely.
Her fingers moved to one of the masks next, lifting the black silk creation and holding it up to the candlelight.
It was beautifully made, with tiny stitches and a ribbon tie that would secure it gently in place.
She remembered Courtney’s blush when she’d mentioned Lucien’s interest in blindfolds, remembered her friend’s shy admission that not being able to see made everything more intense.
Was this what Raven wanted? To blindfold her, bind her with soft silk, take complete control while she surrendered to sensation?
The thought should have terrified her. Instead, it made her pulse quicken in a way that was distinctly not fear.
She set the mask down carefully and stepped back from the cabinet, trying to calm her racing heart.
This changed everything. Now she understood why Raven kept such careful distance, why he treated her with such scrupulous respect while clearly desiring her.
He believed she could never accept this side of him, that his particular tastes would disgust or frighten a lady of her station.
He was protecting her from himself.
The realization made her chest ache. All this time, she’d thought he didn’t want her, that she wasn’t desirable enough to capture his interest. But the truth was far more complicated—he wanted her too much; in ways he believed she could never accommodate.
Ashley looked again at the contents of the cabinet, trying to see them through Raven’s eyes. These weren’t just objects—they represented a part of himself he kept locked away, hidden from the world. A vulnerability he’d shared with Kitty but believed he could never share with his duchess wife.
Is this why he kept so much of himself hidden from those surrounding him? Always so prim and proper? What had happened to make him like this? Did someone find out and threaten him?
Did he fear what his peers would say? What she would think?
What would happen if she showed him he was wrong? If she somehow indicated that she wasn’t quite as innocent or scandalized as he assumed? That she might be willing to explore these mysterious pleasures, if approached with patience and care?
The thought both terrified and exhilarated her.
Ashley carefully returned everything to its precise position in the cabinet, making sure the arrangement matched exactly the way she’d found them. She closed the door softly, leaving it unlocked just as she’d discovered it, and stepped away.
Her hands were shaking, and she pressed them against her flushed cheeks. What she’d found should have sent her fleeing in virtuous horror. Instead, it had awakened something in her—a curiosity, a possibility she’d never imagined.
Maggie had warned her about trust exercises, about showing Raven she could surrender control. At the time, Ashley hadn’t fully understood what that meant. Now, staring at that innocent-looking cabinet in the corner, she understood perfectly.
The question was whether she had the courage to act on that understanding.
Ashley made her way to the door, pausing to look back at the room one final time. Everything appeared undisturbed, no evidence of her intrusion. But inside, she felt fundamentally changed.
She’d come seeking understanding. She’d found it—along with a path forward that seemed to stretch into scandalous, thrilling, terrifying territory.
As she slipped out into the corridor and hurried back toward her own chamber, Ashley’s mind raced with possibilities. She’d been approaching this all wrong, trying to seduce Raven with conventional feminine wiles when what he truly craved was something far different.
He needed a woman who could accept his darker desires. Who could trust him enough to surrender control. Who wouldn’t judge or recoil from the secret parts of himself he kept so carefully hidden.
Could she be that woman? Could the notorious Lady Ashley, already tainted by one scandal, embrace another kind of transgression entirely?
In the safety of her own room, Ashley caught sight of herself in the mirror. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes bright with something that looked almost like excitement. She looked more alive than she had in months.
And somewhere deep inside, beneath layers of propriety and fear, she felt the first stirrings of an answer to her question.
Perhaps she could be that woman after all.
If only she could find the courage to show him.