Chapter Ten #2
The simple question touched Courtney deeply. “I would be honored to help you learn to read, Ava-Marie. The library here has some wonderful books for children that I think you’ll enjoy.” She wondered if Caitria could read. Perhaps she could teach them both.
The housekeeper led them to their rooms, which had been prepared with evident care despite the manor’s general state of disrepair.
Lucien had obviously hired more staff with some of the money Rockwell had loaned him.
Courtney’s chamber was exactly as she remembered it from her last visit.
The same blue and cream wallpaper, the same view of the gardens and, beyond them, the glittering expanse of the sea.
And, as usual, she was placed just down the hall from Lucien’s rooms. How convenient.
Once alone, she moved to the window, drinking in the familiar vista. How many times had she stood at this very window, watching for Lucien to return from one of his rides? How many dreams had she woven here, imagining their future together in this house?
Those dreams had been shattered by his disappearance, then reshaped by his return.
The pressure to see what their relationship could be now made her shoulders sag under the weight of hope and expectations.
The one question she had yet to find the courage to ask was, was Lucien still in love with his wife?
A soft knock at the door interrupted her reverie.
“Come in,” she called, turning from the window.
Caitria entered, her expression apologetic.
“Forgive the intrusion, my lady, but Ava-Marie is desperate to see the sea. She’s been cooped up for a few days so a walk should tire her out for the afternoon.
She’s washed and changed already, and I wondered if perhaps you might accompany us to the cliff path?
She’s quite insistent that we wait for you. ”
Courtney smiled. “Of course. I’d be delighted to show you both the view. It truly is spectacular.”
As they walked together down the hall to collect Ava-Marie, Courtney felt a sense of rightness, of pieces falling into place.
This grand old house, weathered but enduring, seemed to welcome her back like an old friend.
And if the memories it held were bittersweet, they were also precious.
They contained the foundations on which to build new remembrances with this changed Lucien and his delightful daughter.
Standing at the cliff’s edge a short while later, with Ava-Marie’s small hand clasped trustingly in hers as they gazed out at the endless blue of sea meeting sky, Courtney allowed herself to hope.
She showed them the narrow path to the shore below, warning them both to be careful of the drop and that Ava-Marie was never to go down to the beach or go in the water alone. The rip tides were dangerous.
Caitria took Ava-Marie to paddle in the water while Courtney sat on the sand, remembering spying on Lucien swimming naked when she was a young girl and visiting with Lauren.
On her first visit here, she’d decided to marry Lauren’s handsome older brother, and a few years later when he proposed, she knew her dreams had come true.
Just then, a body plonked down in the sand next to her. She knew who it was before she turned to look at him. “My daughter’s going to love it here.”
She turned to smile at him. “It’s a beautiful place.”
His smile died. “It will be when I set it to rights. What were you thinking about before I sat?”
She laughed and felt her cheeks heat. “I was remembering spying on you swimming in this cove when I was fifteen. That’s the day I knew I wanted to marry you.”
“I was a good swimmer then?” he laughed.
“More like the fact you were nude, and as you were the first naked man I’d ever seen, my head was turned.”
This time, Lucien’s cheeks flushed with color.
She carried on. “We often swam here after we were engaged. And swimming clothes were often absent.”
Before he could reply, Ava-Marie spotted her father. “Papa!” She raced across the sand and threw herself into her father’s open arms. “I love it here. I want to swim every day.”
Lucien hugged her tight and kissed the top of her head. “As long as a grown up is with you, then you may come here as often as you like. And of course, if you are a good girl.”
Courtney loved how he didn’t care that Ava-Marie’s dress was wet and covered in sand. He still hugged her tight.
“Now, I think it’s time Caitria took you home. I want to have a talk with Lady Courtney, if that’s all right?”
The little girl must have been tired as she didn’t put up a fight. Soon, only the sound of the gulls and waves filled the silence.
“Lord Danvers accompanied you here,” she asked. “How has your father settled in? Lauren was worried about him.” It was lame conversation, and she wondered if they would ever get to that place where they could talk about anything and know what the other would say before they spoke.
Lucien lay back on the sand with his hands behind his head. “He seems to be better away from town. He’s still drinking too much, but I don’t think he’s gambling. I’ve let it be known around the area that no one is to let him gamble. He’s even seeing a widow in the village.”
“That must be a weight off your shoulders. I know you’ve only been here for ten days, but what else have you uncovered since you’ve been here alone?”
He closed his eyes against the glare of the sun. “That I understand estate management but I’d still welcome Julian’s input to a few ideas I have. Rockwell also mentioned that I should follow him in developing a Merino herd, but I’m not sure I can afford to take a risk.”
Courtney bit her lip and wondered if she could tell him about the mills the ladies were investing in.
The sisterhood followed Tiffany’s advice.
She’d done her research regarding the demand for the fine wool.
Their share price was racing up on the idea of a more consistent supply of Merino wool.
“I believe Rockwell is right and the risk is worth taking.”
His eyes flew open. “And how would you know that? Have you been studying the share market?” He laughed…but his laughter died as he looked at her face.
She swallowed hard. “If we are to have any chance at seeing if this relationship can evolve into something both of us want, we must trust each other. Don’t you agree?” She looked into his eyes.
He rose up on one elbow but took his time in answering. “I think trust would be an advantage, certainly.”
“So, we shouldn’t keep secrets between us.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Depends on whose secrets they are. Sometimes a person can’t share, even if they want to, because it’s not their secret.”
She nodded. “That makes sense. Then maybe I can’t share this secret, as it’s not just mine. But you’ll just have to trust me when I say follow Rockwell’s advice. You won’t regret it.”
He reached up and brushed an escaped curl from her cheek. “I’m glad you’re here.”
Lucien watched the waves lap against the shore, their rhythmic motion almost hypnotic.
The afternoon sun had begun its slow descent toward the horizon, painting the sky in strokes of gold and amber that reminded him of Courtney’s eyes.
Beside him, she sat with her knees drawn up, arms wrapped around them, her skirts spread around her on the sand like the petals of a flower.
The breeze lifted tendrils of her auburn hair, and he resisted the urge to reach out and tuck them back into place.
“It’s beautiful here,” she said, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between them after Caitria had taken Ava-Marie back to the house. “I’d forgotten how the light changes everything at this time of day.”
“It reminds me a bit of the Irish coast,” he found himself saying. “Though the cliffs there were rougher, wilder somehow.”
She turned to look at him, curiosity in her amber eyes. “Do you miss it? Ireland?”
He considered the question, surprised to find the answer wasn’t simple. “Parts of it,” he admitted. “The simplicity, perhaps. Knowing exactly who I was and what was expected of me each day. No complicated social obligations, no family fortune to restore.”
“No memories to recover,” she added softly.
He nodded, feeling a familiar twist of guilt in his chest. “No ghosts of a man I can’t remember being.”
Courtney drew idle patterns in the sand with her fingertips, her expression thoughtful. “Tell me about her,” she said after a moment. “About Ava.”
The request caught him off guard, and he tensed slightly, unsure how to respond. So far, he’d managed to avoid this conversation, but here, with the sun setting and the sea whispering secrets to the shore, it seemed impossible to deflect.
“Why would you want to know about her?” he asked, watching Courtney’s face carefully.
“Because she was important to you,” Courtney said simply. “Because she gave you Ava-Marie. And because I think understanding your life in Ireland might help me understand who you are now.”
Lucien sighed, picking up a smooth pebble and turning it over in his hands. “She was…vibrant,” he said finally. “Full of life, always laughing or singing, with this wild copper hair that seemed to catch fire in the sunlight. She found me after I was injured—nursed me back to health.”
He paused, choosing his words carefully.
The truth about how Ava had deceived him, pretending they were married when they weren’t, creating an entire fictional past for them, was something he couldn’t tell her.
Only Rockwell and Farah knew the truth, and he intended to keep it that way.
The shame of it, the implications for Ava-Marie’s legitimacy—the consequences for his family, for Lauren and Madeline finding good matches…
Hell, even he needed a good match. It would be devastating if society ever learned the truth. He didn’t really know this woman.
“Did you love her?” Courtney asked, and though her voice was steady, he caught the slight tremor in her hand as she brushed sand from her skirt.