Lady of Ashes (Lady of Darkness #3)

Chapter 22 Scarlett

CHAPTER 22

SCARLETT

F or the ?rst time in weeks, Scarlett woke with shadows drifting around her. She hadn’t opened her eyes yet, but she could feel them— brushing down her arms, her face, her soul.

And she could feel him. A steady presence. A burning essence intertwining with her own being.

Sorin.

She pried her eyes open. There was no hint of the dull headache she’d been suffering through the last few weeks. She didn’t know where she was, but she also didn’t care because he was here. She could feel him. And this was different from all the times Lord Tyndell had tried to make her believe he had come for her. She knew this wasn’t a dream. She wasn’t questioning reality in the slightest.

Scarlett pushed herself up into a sitting position and fell still when her eyes settled on him. He was sitting in an ornate armchair several feet away from her. The chair was facing the bed though, and he was sprawled in it like a godsdamn king, his legs wide and his head propped on his ?st. His black hair was disheveled, falling over his brow. His golden eyes narrowed at her slightly when she met his gaze, and she sucked in a breath. She could feel his presence, yes, but she couldn’t tell what he was feeling. She couldn’t feel that part of him.

Had that part of the bond not been restored? Had she done something irreparable?

She reached up, pushing her hair back from her face, and he still didn’t move.

He didn’t say a word.

“Why did I wake up to you looking like you want to throttle me?” she rasped.

He still didn’t say anything. He just nodded his head towards the bedside table, and she turned to ?nd a glass of water sitting there. She reached over for it and took several large swallows, nearly draining the glass, before turning back to face Sorin once more.

His unreadable mask hadn’t changed, but he ?nally spoke. “Do you need any healing?”

She shook her head, drawing her knees to her chest and cupping the water glass between her hands. She was still wearing the black, blood- stained gown she’d had on at the Fellowship.

Sorin nodded at her response. “Are you feeling weak in any form? Do you need blood?”

She swallowed thickly, that part of everything rushing back to her, and she felt her cheeks heat slightly.

“No,” she whispered, her eyes falling to the water glass.

“Are you …”

Scarlett glanced up when he didn’t ?nish his question and found him clenching his jaw, his ?st on the armrest doing the same.

“Did he touch you?”

“No, Sorin,” she answered softly. “I was not touched or hurt like that.” He nodded, a fraction of the tension in his body seeming to release.

He stood then, swiping up a bundle of clothing and tossing it onto the bed.

“Change, Scarlett. Then I will take you to see Cassius. There is a bathing room through there if you want to wash up ?rst,” he added, nodding towards a doorway to the left.

“You don’t want to … talk about everything?” she asked, setting the water glass back onto the bedside table.

“We will de?nitely be having a conversation about that shit you pulled at the border, Scarlett,” he replied, his voice icy with suppressed emotion. “But that is a conversation I need your complete attention for, and I know you will not be able to focus on it until you have seen Cassius.”

Scarlett swallowed again, nodding once as she ?ipped back the blankets she was nestled under. He stepped closer but didn’t reach for her. She slid from the bed, grabbing the small pile of clothing, and made her way to the bathing room. He followed, keeping dis tance between them, and she didn’t know if she should reach for him or not. She didn’t know if he was too angry with her, or if she should try to have this conversation now, despite him saying it needed to wait. She didn’t want it hanging over them.

But he was also right. The longer she was awake, the more her thoughts were pulled to Cassius. He had to be alive. Sorin would have told her if he wasn’t. Was he awake? Was he speaking? Was Hazel able to heal him completely?

Thoughts swirling in her mind, she used a cloth to quickly wipe down her skin, getting the largest spots of dried blood. She’d worry about bathing later. There wasn’t time right now.

She quickly tugged on the pants, pulling the tunic over her head as she emerged from the bathing room. She was working her hair into a loose plait, making her way to the door, when Sorin called from behind her.

“Shoes, Scarlett.”

“What?”

He held up a pair of silk slippers. “You need shoes.”

She quickly tied off her braid, swiping the slippers from his outstretched hand. While she tugged them on, he walked past and opened the door for her. She practically ?ew through it, skidding to a halt when she realized she had no idea where she was or where to go.

“This way,” Sorin said, coming out behind her. His hands were in his pockets, and he nodded his head towards a set of stairs at the end of the corridor. He fell into step beside her, and she let her shadows free after being con?ned for so long. He glanced side-long at them before looking straight ahead again, a muscle feathering in his jaw.

“Are you … all right?” she asked tentatively as they started descending the steps.

“No,” he answered tightly. “But we will discuss it after you have seen that Cassius is recovering.”

“Is he awake?”

“No. His injuries were so extensive …” He trailed off, running a hand along his jaw before tucking it back into his pocket with a sigh. “They do not know how long it will be before he wakes, but they believe he will. As long as he continues to receive Fae blood.”

Scarlett nodded, crossing her arms and running her hands up and down them. She wasn’t cold, but something was wrong. She could feel Sorin, but not in the way she had been able to before everything that had happened. His emotions seemed muted, as if they were still blocked. She hadn’t tried to speak to him down their bridge yet, and if she were honest with herself, she was too nervous to try now. What if that hadn’t been ?xed either? What if she had done something irreparable to their bond? What if it would never be like before? What if what she had done affected their Trials? Kept them from ever being Anointed?

She hadn’t realized they had stopped, but she looked up to ?nd Sorin staring down at her, waiting for her to collect herself. He always knew. Always knew when she was spiraling. Always knew when she needed a moment.

She gave him a weak smile, but he did not return it, so she nodded to tell him she was ready, and he pushed open the door. He let her pass before following her through. Cyrus was there, his gaze instantly landing on her. He stood from where he had been sitting by the hearth, and immediately began to make his way to her, but he froze at the snarl that rippled from Sorin.

Scarlett’s head whipped around, her eyes wide as she took him in. He looked feral, his teeth bared.

She smirked at him. “The mother hen is still not your best look, Prince,” she said sweetly. But he did not return the sentiment.

“Do not start with that, Scarlett,” he ground out. “ No one is going to touch you right now.”

Her mouth fell open. “It is Cyrus .”

“I do not give a fuck if it is Anala herself. I am barely keeping it together the way it is. No one else is touching you.”

She opened her mouth to spout something in reply, but Cyrus cut her off. “Let this go, Scarlett. This has been …” Cyrus clenched his jaw. “He has not been okay. What you did to him, to your twin ?ame bond, to all of us, was not okay.”

“Cyrus,” Sorin warned, a clear order not to interfere, but Scarlett felt the verbal hit.

“I didn’t—”

“Not now, Scarlett,” Sorin said, cutting her off. “You are not here to defend your actions right now. You are here to see that Cassius is still breathing. Speak with the High Witch. Get your questions answered.”

The implication was clear, though. She would need to defend her actions to them.

She glanced at Sorin, but when she found his eyes pinned on her, she quickly looked away, moving to the bedside. Hazel stood, rigid and formidable as always, her violet eyes never leaving Cassius.

“You let males speak to you in despicable ways,” she said when Scarlett came to a stop beside her.

“I did despicable things,” Scarlett answered quietly. “I deceived them. My actions put them in danger. Put others in danger.” She gestured to Cassius’s still form at the words. “I deserve the things they have to say to me.” When Hazel didn’t say anything in response to that, she asked, “How is he?”

“He lives,” Hazel answered.

“Will he wake?”

“Yes, I believe he will. Being half-Witch, half—” She paused, waving her hand in Scarlett’s direction. “He will wake. Most of his injuries will heal.”

“Most?” Scarlett questioned, turning from Cassius to look up at the High Witch.

“They used different blades,” Hazel said, her angular features seeming to sharpen, violet eyes going darker. “Some were regular blades, easily healed. Others, like the one used on his eye …”

“He will be blind,” Scarlett whispered, reaching out to take his hand in hers.

“In that eye, yes,” Hazel answered. “Some of the stab wounds did extensive internal damage as well. We will not know the full implications of those wounds until he wakes.”

“How long? When do you think he will wake up?” she asked, stepping closer to the bed. She wanted nothing more than to climb up beside him again, be close to him, hear his heart beating beneath her ear.

But she had responsibilities to tend to. She’d brought over one hundred children here. She needed to ?nd Nuri, ?nd out what’s been happening in Baylorin, learn what is going on with Callan and Tava.

“When he is ready,” Hazel answered, bringing her hand to his cheek, white light emanating again.

It wasn’t really the answer she was hoping for, but something in her chest had loosened at seeing him alive, seeing his chest steadily rise and fall. There was no labored breathing, no pools of blood. Even his facial features were returning to normal. They had stripped his dirty and torn clothes off, his torso tightly bound and wrapped. His leg that had been shattered was set into some type of splint, but many of the smaller cuts, burns, and wounds were nowhere to be found.

They stood in silence for several minutes. She could hear Cyrus and Sorin speaking quietly together across the room, but she couldn’t bring herself to look at them, let alone attempt to listen in on what they were saying.

“I need to go check on a few things, see a few people,” Scarlett ?nally said, her ?ngers tightening slightly around Cassius’s hand. “I will be back frequently to check on him, but please send for me if there is even the slightest change.”

Hazel nodded, glancing at her for the ?rst time since Scarlett had come to her side. “You made a choice, young queen. Now you lift your chin and handle the consequences, whatever they may be. You do not look back, only forward.”

Scarlett nodded several times, forcing back the stinging at the back of her eyes. She knew Sorin had drawn nearer when she had mentioned going to check on the others. She could feel his presence, knew when she turned around he would be mere feet from her.

Taking a deep breath, she turned and met his stare. “I need to check on the children and ?nd Nuri.”

“You can do that after you and I have spoken,” Sorin answered.

“Just let me make sure they have everything they need for the children—”

“No, Scarlett. Now,” Sorin interrupted, a ?re portal appearing behind him.

“You still don’t give me orders, Prince,” she replied with faux sweetness.

Sorin stalked forward, his hands back in his pockets. He was visibly trembling, and she felt a ?icker of emotion down their bond. Fury? Desperation? Something else? She couldn’t get a read on it, before it was gone as quickly as it had appeared.

He stopped directly in front of her, bending down to speak into her ear. “This conversation is going to happen, Scarlett. Now.”

Scarlett’s lips pressed into a thin line, but she nodded once before stepping through the portal and ?nding herself in the mountain chateau. Sorin came through a moment later, the portal snapping shut. He crossed to the hearth, tossing a ?ame into it before turning to face her.

“Do you need to rest before we do this?” “No, but I—”

“You left me.” His voice was low and tense and ?lled with an emotion she couldn’t decipher.

“I did it to protect you,” she said, her own tone pleading with him to understand. “I did it for you. For all of you.”

Sorin shook his head. He’d stepped behind an armchair, and his ?ngers gripped the back of it, digging into the upholstery. “In what world is you leaving me behind protecting me, Scarlett? In what realm is you blocking our godsdamn bond in my best interest?”

“Sorin, I—” She took a step towards him, but a thin line of ?re erupted before her. She could have easily stepped over it, but she paused, accepting the boundary he was drawing for now. She reached for him down that bond that was back and ?owing between them again, but he shook his head once more.

“No. You do not get to use that bond right now. Not for this.” His jaw was clenched, and she could tell it was taking everything he had to keep himself under control, to keep his temper from exploding.

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, her hands ?sting at her sides. She planted her feet, bracing herself for what was about to come. Opening her eyes, she looked directly into golden ones ?lled with embers as she said with con?dence she in no way felt, “I can take it, Sorin. I can take what you have to say to me.”

Sorin studied her for a long moment, before she felt so many emotions ?ood down that bridge between their souls she staggered under it.

Terror. Denial. Disbelief. Sorrow. Fury.

Pain. Anger. Hurt. Betrayal.

Scarlett’s hands ?ew to her chest, clenching into ?sts over her heart as she took it all in, every single thing he’d been feeling since she’d enacted that Blood Mark. Tears instantly cut a path down her face, but she held her ground. She held Sorin’s stare.

“We made vows to each other, Scarlett Aditya Semiria. You get all of me, and I get all of you. We do not shut each other out. We do not tell each other to leave. You chose me, and I chose you. And yet, with that one act, you created a you and a me. Mere days after saying those vows.”

Sorin’s chest was heaving, and his ?ngers were digging into the fabric of the chair so deeply, she was certain he was about to puncture the upholstery. Or set it alight, which was probably more likely, considering the smoke unfurling beneath his hands. She didn’t know if he was waiting for her to respond or if he was preparing himself for his next strike, so she didn’t say anything.

“When did you ?gure it out?” he demanded. “How soon after Cyrus came to our rooms did you ?gure out what was really going on? How long did it take you to come up with a plan that excluded the rest of us? That put you in a position to be taken from me? To be used against your own Courts?” She swallowed thickly, her eyes falling to the plush rug under feet, but he called her out on that, too. “No, Scarlett, your eyes stay on me for this conversation. I need to see them to know if you are lying to me yet again or if you are telling me everything.”

“You’re one to talk, Sorin,” she snapped, her eyes ?ashing back to his. “You lied to me for months when we met. Then you lied about me being your twin ?ame. Oh, excuse me,” she drawled sarcastically. “You didn’t lie. You withheld information . How was this any different? ”

Sorin shook his head again, huf?ng a hollow laugh of disbelief. “And I spent so many more months proving myself to you. Over and over again. And you are right. I did withhold so much from you. Maybe you ?nd you can never fully trust me because of it, and that is on me. But if you are going to hold that over me, if you are going to use that as an excuse for doing something like this when enemies are at our doors, we are never going to pass the Trials, Scarlett. What we are will not survive if we are going to keep score about who has wronged who most. If that is the case, tell me now, and we will ?gure something else out.”

Scarlett lurched back as if he’d struck her in the gut. “You don’t mean that.”

“I cannot trust you, Scarlett! I cannot trust my wife, my queen, my twin ?ame . Do you have any idea what you did to me when I stepped back over that border and found your marriage band ?oating there? When I could not feel you? When I could not ?nd you?” He had stepped from behind the armchair, taking a few steps towards her, embers sparking with each footfall. His voice had risen, lethal with anger and hurt. “This wasn’t the ?rst time, either. We agreed to no more secrets. You told me you would keep nothing from me, and the very next day, you led me down to a secret passageway in the library. And a mere few hours after that, you pulled this shit.”

He had stopped a few feet from her, the trail of ?ames still drawing a line between them.

“Are you saying you don’t …” She swallowed again, tears streaming down her face, but she forced herself to say the words. “Are you saying you don’t want this any more? Are you saying you no longer choose us? Choose me?”

The line of ?ames between them ?ared up, and Scarlett ?inched away on instinct. When she turned back, she found him standing directly on the other side of the ?re, his eyes as bright as the ?ames separating them.

“You are my necessity, Scarlett. I do not know how I can make it any clearer to you. I am yours. I choose you, and I will always choose you.”

“Then choose me, Sorin!” she cried. “Because it seems all you have done since I woke is pull away from me. You haven’t touched me. You haven’t—”

“I have not touched you because the moment I feel your ?esh beneath my ?ngers again, it’s over, Scarlett,” he snarled, and her breath caught in her throat. “The moment I taste your lips, the second I have you in my arms, the last shred of self-control I am clinging to will come apart. Do not think that holding you against me while ?ghting our way out of the Black Syndicate did not affect me. Do not think that it was in any way easy for me to sit in that room with Cassius, you mere feet from me, and not haul you off to another room when I have not seen you, touched you, felt you in weeks. I do not know what all you endured while there. I do not know if you are ready to be touched. I do not know how you are feeling, because you blocked our fucking bond, and the moment I touch you, I will lose that control.”

“Then lose control, Sorin!”

The words had barely left her lips when he had crossed that line of ?ames, his hands coming to her face and his lips landing on hers. It was a brutal, punishing kiss that had her knees instantly trembling. One of his hands slid from her face, wrapping around her waist, pulling her ?ush against him and holding her up. She gripped the fabric of his tunic, ?sting the material in his hands, as his tongue plunged into her mouth in desperation. Cloves and honey and embers danced along her taste buds, and the hand on her cheek slid into her hair, tugging her head back roughly so he could deepen the kiss.

“You left me,” he said roughly against her lips.

“I’m sorry,” she gasped as his mouth slid along her jaw, down her neck.

“It’s not good enough, Scarlett,” he snarled, his canines biting into the sensitive skin where her neck and shoulder met.

“I know,” she whispered, her hips bucking forward, feeling him press against her.

His hands slipped under the back of her thighs, lifting her off of her feet. She instantly wrapped her legs around his waist, kissing him back frantically when his lips found their way to hers again.

“Can you Travel?” he demanded, nipping at her bottom lip, hard enough to draw blood.

“Yes,” she rasped, her ?ngers grasping at his hair, pulling herself closer to him. She needed to feel him. Skin on skin. All of him.

“Upstairs,” was all he said as he began walking, and for once, she did as he ordered. Between one step and the next, they went from the sitting room to the large bedroom. He dropped her onto the bed, releasing her to slide her pants and undergarments down her legs, her slippers coming with them. He pulled his own tunic over his head, and Scarlett whimpered in need, reaching for him.

“I should make you wait,” he said with a cold smirk, stepping between her legs where they hung over the end of the bed. His hands landed on either side of her waist, bracing his body over hers.

“You should,” she agreed breathlessly, looping her arms around his neck and trying to pull him down onto her, but he didn’t give in. Instead, he stood back up, pulling her with him so she sat before him. His hands skimmed up her sides, taking her tunic with them, and she let him pull it over her head. He dropped the tunic to the ?oor, his eyes glued to her bare skin. His hands came up and shoved her shoulders, pushing her back down onto the bed, but he didn’t follow. He stood, standing over her, his gaze trailing down her body, lust and hunger ?lling his golden eyes. Her blood was on ?re, and it wasn’t from any type of ?re magic, but then she felt his power sweep over her, searching for her own power, and she instantly sent her shadows and ice and white ?ames to wind with it.

Sorin groaned, his eyes closing and head falling back in clear pleasure, as their magic touched and connected in ways she was dying to do with their ?esh. His breathing was heavy as he held himself back.

“Sorin,” she whispered. “Please.”

His eyes snapped back open at the word. “I ?nd it interesting that your manners only appear when they suit your needs, Princess.”

She opened her mouth to snap a reply, but then his fingers brushed against her thighs, and she sucked in a breath. It was a whisper of a touch. Fingertips barely connecting with skin, and it wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough as they slowly went higher and higher, his body coming over her as he went. They skated over her hips, up her sides, under her breasts. She arched into them, seeking out any other contact he would give her.

Then it was just a single ?nger sliding down her torso, over her navel, to her center, his eyes tracking the movement. Her hands were ?sting in the bedding at her sides, knowing if she reached for him again, he would continue toying with her, teasing her, making her wait. He met her gaze, a slight cruel tilt of his lips telling her he knew exactly what she was feeling and thinking, before he plunged that ?nger into her.

She moaned at ?nally feeling him inside her again, even if it was just a ?nger. He pulled it back, adding a second one before diving back in, curling them against her inner walls as his thumb came down on that perfect spot between her thighs, making her writhe against his hand. He moved onto the bed beside her, continuing to thrust his ?ngers, his thumb making slow, tight circles against her.

“You left me,” he growled again into her ear, his other hand slipping into hair and pulling, more strands coming out of her plait.

“I know,” she panted, her back arching at the pull of her hair. “I’m sorry, Sorin. I’m sorry.”

“Still not good enough,” he snarled, his lips coming down onto hers as if he couldn’t hold himself back any more, even if he wanted to.

“I love you,” she breathed into his mouth. “I love you, and I choose you. Always you.”

He pulled back, his hand stilling, ?ngers still inside her, and she whimpered at the loss of movement.

“You did not choose me when you left me,” he said, his tone bordering on vicious.

“I did, Sorin,” she insisted. “I chose your life over mine. I chose—”

He pulled his ?ngers from her, sliding on top of her, straddling her hips as his hands slammed into the bed beside her head, caging her in. His dark hair fell forward across his brow, his golden eyes glowing like hot coals. “How do you still not understand this, Scarlett?”

She froze at the violence and rage glimmering in his eyes. She was a mess of need and want. He’d brought her to the edge of pleasure, and she tried to push that down as she stared into the face of raw fury.

“I do not want a life without you in it. If the choice is a life without you or death at your side, I choose death, Scarlett. I choose wherever you are. If that means we are ashes in the voids between stars, then that is what I choose because I am with you . I am giving you my life. Let me give that to you,” he begged. “Choose that. Choose doing this together . That is what I want you to choose.”

“Okay,” she breathed, reaching up to run her ?ngers down the side of his face, along his jaw, feeling a couple days’ worth of stubble under her ?ngertips. Her thumb brushed along his lower lip, feeling his harsh breaths as he exhaled. Her hand slipped around to the nape of his neck, and she pulled herself up, her lips meeting his. She kissed each corner of his mouth, and a soft groan fell from his lips as she began sliding her mouth down his throat, his breathing ragged. Her hands slid to his shoulders, and she pushed, nudging him onto his back and pressing him down onto the bed.

Her mouth went lower, her tongue tracing ridges of hard muscles, as her hands found buttons on his pants and pulled him free. Her eyes on his, she lowered her mouth, swirling her tongue around his tip. He jerked against her, a curse falling from his lips, as his ?ngers found their way into her hair yet again. One of her hands wrapped around his base as she drew him back farther into her mouth and down her throat, and he groaned again, his ?ngers ?sting tight around her strands as he began guiding her movements. The saltiness of him mixed with the honey and cloves of his kisses.

It wasn’t long before he was pulling her off of him, though, ?ipping her back underneath him. He shoved his pants off the rest of the way and settled between her thighs. “That,” he whispered into her ear, his breath hot against her skin and making her hair ?utter, “is a much better use for your tongue.”

Before she could reply, he thrust into her in one hard stroke, and she cried out at the feel of him ?lling her. Tears stung at the back of her eyes, and his face softened as he brushed his thumb along her cheek. He pulled almost all the way out, pushing back in slower.

“I’m sorry, Sorin,” she whispered, her throat thick as she held back her tears.

“I know, Love,” he replied, pushing hair out of her eyes and smoothing it back.

“I love you, and I hear you,” she breathed while he continued to move inside of her, slowly picking up his pace, the arm he’d worked under her shoulders holding her tightly to him.

“I love you, Scarlett. I am yours. Always.”

He pressed his lips to her forehead, and his movements became harder, faster, making her moan into his neck, her nails digging into his back. Within moments, she was tumbling over the edge of pleasure, gasping his name, and he was right behind her, with a few ?nal thrusts before he was groaning her name, raining kisses along the top of her head.

They clung to each other, breathing ragged as they came down from their highs together, before he gently pulled out of her and rolled to his back. She went with him, resting her head on his chest, his arm curled around her waist and locking her to his side. He inhaled deeply, his other hand making long strokes up and down her arm.

She could feel some of his emotions down the bond, but it was still muted. There was a sort of contentment, but there was still a simmering anger underneath it. She released some of her shadows, letting them brush along his face, and she felt his ?ames rush up to meet them.

“Sorin?” she asked with uncertainty.

“Yeah, Love?” he hummed, and she glanced up to ?nd his eyes closed, but his features taut with tension.

“Can you … I mean, our bond …”

His eyes opened as she stumbled over her words, and he waited patiently for her to ?nish her thoughts, his hand coming up behind his head.

“I can’t feel you like I used to,” she ?nally said in a rush. “I mean, our bond is there, but I can’t feel your emotions as easily. As if there is still a block. Did I …” She blew out another long breath. “Did I do something irreparable? Can you feel me? Like before?”

“I can feel you, Scarlett, just as I always have been able to when the bond was not blocked,” he answered, his long ?ngers beginning to make idle circles along her hip.

Relief ?ooded through her at his words, but then …

“Why can I not feel you like I did before?”

He sighed, his eyes going to the window over the tub across the room. “Just because I choose you, just because I need you in ways I cannot put into words, just because I am yours, does not mean you get my unwavering trust, Scarlett. It does not mean I will blindly believe what you say or do. It does not mean I will not question your motives. Not right now.”

She stiffened against him, ice seeming to ?ll her veins, but he continued the soothing movements on her skin despite the temperature in the room dropping. “So because you don’t trust me, the bond is not as strong for me?” she asked quietly.

“It is not that it is not as strong,” he replied with another sigh. “The distrust is some of the resistance, yes, but I can shield against the bond to a certain extent.”

Scarlett sat up at that, his arm slipping from her body, and he turned his head to meet her stare. “You are keeping me out?”

A muscle feathered in his jaw, and he pressed his tongue to his cheek. “To an extent, yes,” he ?nally answered.

“How?” she demanded.

“There are mental shields we learn when we are young, to protect against entrancing mainly, among other things. I would have taught you how to use them, but we haven’t had time with everything else going on,” he said.

“You have been giving me hell for blocking our bond, and yet you are doing that exact thing?” she asked, trying not to let her voice rise.

His features twisted into ire in a heartbeat, and he pushed himself up to a sitting position, bringing his face close to hers. “This is not even close to the same thing, Scarlett. You can still sense me. You can still feel my physical presence. You could still ?nd me if I were taken captive somewhere,” he snarled. “That is not something you can block with a mental shield, or any type of shield for that matter. I didn’t think anything could fully block the bond actually, but you certainly proved me wrong.”

Scarlett reached for a blanket at the end of the bed, wrapping it around her shoulders and tugging it tight. She tried to will some heat into her body, but it didn’t seem to make a difference as goosebumps rose across her skin. She felt Sorin try to push some warmth into her too, but she pushed back, letting her shadows latch onto his magic and keep it from touching her. He didn’t say anything at the obvious rejection, letting her sort through things as he always had.

“So where does that leave us?” she ?nally asked, unable to bring herself to meet his eyes.

But he didn’t let that slide either. She felt his ?ngers grip her chin, tipping her head up. “I am yours, and you are mine, Scarlett Semiria. That has not changed.”

“It feels like everything has changed,” she countered.

“You are not the same as when you left,” he answered. “And neither am I.”

“Then what do we do?”

“No one said this would be easy, Scarlett. It is not a choice you make once. It is a choice we must make every day. Over and over again. Even on the hard days. Even on the days we want to throttle each other.”

“I don’t know what else I can say or do, Sorin,” she said, reaching up and swiping a lone tear from her face.

“It will take time, Love,” he answered gently, his hand resting on her knee. “It took you time to trust me again, did it not?” She swallowed thickly again, and Sorin released her chin. “Let’s rest, Scarlett. Take a proper bath if you want to. This conversation is not over. You still need to explain many things, but right now, just … rest.”

She nodded but didn’t move as he climbed off the bed, grabbing his pants and slipping them back on. He bent over her, cupping her cheek and pressing a kiss to the top of her head before he left the room. And of all things, Alaric’s words ?itted back to her while she sat alone, naked and wrapped in a blanket.

I am amused that you did so without understanding the costs of such things.

More tears slid down her cheeks. She hadn’t known.

She hadn’t known the costs.

And Alaric had trained her this way. He had trained her to trust no one. He had trained her to depend on herself, to do things on her own, to take matters into her own hands. All the while, he subconsciously taught her to rely on him. He provided her food, provided her shelter, provided her training, provided her with a family. And in the end, old habits die hard. In the end, he had still won. She may be free of his physical presence. They may have come for her and successfully extracted her from the Fellowship, but he had still won. Her relationships were all fractured. Cassius still had not woken. Cyrus was disappointed with her. She could only assume Eliza and Rayner and Briar, everyone else really, felt the same. Talwyn had been right. She didn’t fully understand everything at play here.

And Sorin? She had never seen him so angry. So withdrawn.

So hurt.

And that was on her. She had hurt him worse than he had hurt her when they had fought on the front porch here months ago. And he was right. It had taken her months to let him back in fully. She still hadn’t. Not completely. That was why they were in this mess to begin with.

She heard his footsteps on the stairs, but she didn’t look up when he came back into the room. She heard him pause, then he crossed the room and began ?lling the large tub. While the water was running, he came back to her. He pulled the tie from her braid and unwound what was left of the plait before he gently tugged the blanket from her grip.

“Come, Love,” he said softly, reaching for her. “Have a bath and then we will sleep.”

She lifted her chin, looking at him through teary lashes. “How can you even think of taking care of me right now? After everything?”

He took her face in his hands, pressing his forehead to hers. “Just because things are tense between us right now does not mean I love you any less, Scarlett. You are still mine. I will still sit with you in the dark, and together we will ?nd the stars.”

“You promise?” she whispered.

“I promise I will not leave you alone in the darkness. Not now. Not ever.”

She nodded, and he pressed a soft kiss to her lips before saying, “Go bathe. You smell.”

She huffed a small laugh as he helped her from the bed. “That certainly didn’t stop you earlier,” she retorted with a small mocking grin.

Sorin clicked his tongue, watching her walk to the tub. “Careful, Love, or I will put that tongue to better use … again.”

Scarlett felt her cheeks ?are slightly at his words, but she didn’t say anything back as she climbed into the tub and slid beneath the steaming water, letting it wash away all the grime.

Her thoughts wandered as she sat under the water. She would ?x this. Cassius would be all right. They would keep the orphans safe, ?nd the keys, and kill the Maraan Lords. She needed to master her magic more. She needed to ?gure out ways to safeguard against Blood Marks, wards, and fucking shirastone. There had to be a way to overcome the effects of it. Right?

Maybe then, after all of that was taken care of, she could breathe again. Maybe after all of that, she wouldn’t feel like she was suffocating, drowning on dry land. Maybe then—

She felt ?ngers brushing the top of her head, combing through her hair, and she pushed back above the surface of the water to ?nd Sorin bent over the tub, his face full of concern.

“Love, I know Briar said you can breathe underwater, but I really need you to stop going under for minutes at a time,” he said, pushing her wet hair back and off her face.

“I didn’t realize— Wait, I can breathe underwater?”

A half smile curled up on his lips. “According to Briar, yes.” “How?” she asked, her eyes widening

Sorin lowered to his knees, reaching for a bottle of hair tonic and beginning to wash her hair for her. “I do not know. I imagine if I did, I wouldn’t feel so uneasy when you go under for extended periods of time.”

“I didn’t mean to worry you,” she answered softly, her ?ngers sweeping through the water.

“I know,” he sighed. “You never do.”

She didn’t know if he meant it to be a verbal jab, but it certainly hit like one. She didn’t reply as he ?nished washing her hair. She slid beneath the water, quickly rinsing it so she wasn’t under very long. When she resurfaced, she scrubbed at her skin, and when she ?nally felt clean again, he was waiting to wrap her in a towel. He dried her hair for her with his magic as he walked to the armoire, returning with a sleeveless nightgown and sliding it over her head. The silky garment fell nearly to her ankles.

He cupped her jaw, tilting her face up. “I did not mean that as an insult, Scarlett.”

She just nodded, her eyes looking anywhere but at him. He pressed another soft kiss to her brow and led her to the bed. When they were both settled, and he had tugged her back into his chest, his hand splaying across her torso, he said softly into her ear, “Never again, Scarlett. We never leave each other again.”

She nodded, swallowing back tears, before she whispered, “Never again.”