Chapter 39 Callan
CHAPTER 39
CALLAN
“ W e will be gone for the next month,” Lord Tyndell was saying to the other Lords gathered for the daily council meeting.
Callan sat to his father’s left, idly lea?ng through reports before him.
“Are you leaving that general you spoke so highly of in charge in your absence?” his father was asking. “Renwell? Was that his name? You have not mentioned him in quite some time.”
“I am afraid he returned to his homeland,” Lord Tyndell replied smoothly. “We held on to him as long as we could, and he certainly trained your High Force impeccably.”
“Shame,” his father grunted. “Who replaced him?”
“Mikale took over while the Crown Prince was … on his leave,” the Lord replied, a sly smile on his lips when he glanced to Callan. “Now one of the High Force soldiers was promoted.”
“What of your son?” the king asked. “You still do not want to train him to take your place? He would be valuable in times such as these.”
The Lord’s face hardened. “Drake is not cut out for this.”
“And why is that?” Callan asked, settling back in his chair. All attention swiveled to him, but he kept his eyes ?xed on the Lord, waiting for his response.
“Drake will be better served as a Lord of this Court. Inter-Court matters would suit him better,” the Lord replied.
“You do not believe you could properly prepare him as your successor?” Callan pushed.
“This is not something that needs to be decided right now,” the king cut in. “We have other matters to discuss.”
“We do,” Callan agreed. He pulled a report from the stack and laid it on top of the others. “What do you know of Rydeon and Toreall moving their forces around to the Fae borders?”
Lord Tyndell and Mikale tensed. They both recovered quickly, but Callan caught it.
When Amaré had arrived to see if there was anything to report about this amulet they were supposed to be looking for, he’d had a message in his beak. It was from Cassius, and somehow the fact that it had come from him and not Scarlett or Sorin didn’t make him feel quite so … bitter as Tava liked to put it. It was petty. He knew it was, but he really wanted little to do with them at this point. What was in that report, though … What did these other kingdoms know that they didn’t?
“What is this?” the king demanded, reaching over and taking the report from the pile. “Where did you get this?”
“You have made it clear I was to begin taking my responsibilities more seriously,” Callan replied calmly. “I have connections in the other kingdoms. People I have met while … How did you put it, Lord Tyndell? While I was on leave ?”
“Who?” Lord Tyndell gritted out from between his teeth.
“Who is not important,” Callan replied, though he was certain the Lord knew exactly who his connections were.
“It is if those are false reports,” the Lord countered.
“I do not believe they are, but I do think it is something that should be looked into either way. We do not want to be caught unprepared and look like fools,” Callan said, returning his gaze to his father.
“What do you know of this, Balam?” the king asked tightly, his eyes skimming the report.
“We have heard nothing of the sort, your Majesty,” the Lord replied. “But it is something we can certainly look into on our travels this month. We are going to Toreall after all. We can set something up with Rydeon as well.”
“I want updates as soon as possible,” the king said, placing the report on the table. “Do we need to be preparing for something, Balam?”
“We are always prepared, your Majesty. You know this,” the Lord answered.
“Take Mikale with you,” Callan said.
“What?” Mikale interjected from down the table.
“I would like to be kept up-to-date on this matter. To make sure my sources remain reliable. What better way than to have my to-be closest advisor there to be my eyes and ears himself ?” Callan asked.
“I am sure Lord Tyndell’s reports will be more than suf?cient,” Mikale said, his eyes ?xed on the Lord across the table.
“No, I like this idea,” the king cut in.
“But, your Majesty—”
“My son is ?nally taking an interest in matters,” the king said, cutting Mikale off. “This will be good for both of you.”
“Yes, your Majesty,” Mikale replied. Callan could tell those words tasted like poison on his lips.
But it had worked. Mikale would be gone for a month or more.
It had been Tava’s idea. She had been there when Amaré had arrived with the letter from Cassius. It was Drake who had created the “report” based on Cassius’s letter. They knew Lord Tyndell wouldn’t be able to outright deny anything. It would only take messengers to con?rm the other two mortal kingdoms were indeed moving forces around. They had made Lord Tyndell look inept and gotten Mikale out of the kingdom, essentially killing two birds with one stone.
Now they only needed to worry about Veda.
A quick rap on his chamber doors told him it was Finn, and a second later, Tava was entering the room with Finn and Sloan behind her. She was dressed in pants and a tunic. She wore those boots that went nearly to her knees, and her hair was braided in a plait down her back.
“What are you doing here at this hour?” Callan asked Sloan. He was his guard all day, but the night guards took over when Callan retired for the evening.
“Your betrothed has an agenda tonight,” Sloan said, nodding his head in Tava’s direction.
“It is not an agenda,” she said with a smile at him. “I call it an opportunity.”
“Call it what you want, Lady Tyndell. It’s dangerous as shit after what I was told happened last time,” Sloan countered.
“What is this about, Tava?” Callan asked from where he’d been sitting near the hearth.
“I just learned that Veda has taken an extended leave, since her brother will be gone for the next several weeks,” she said, her smile widening.
Lord Tyndell and Mikale had left the day prior, and they had been working on how they could get into the Lairwood Estate with him gone. Veda leaving as well was a stroke of pure luck.
“You want to go to the Lairwood house tonight?” Callan asked in surprise.
Tava shook her head, moving to sit on the edge of the sofa. “I learned she was leaving from the High Healer. This is an opportunity for me to go back to the poor districts and deliver some items.”
“You want to go to the slums tonight?” Callan asked, his brows ?ying up.
“Yes. It is the perfect time,” she said excitedly.
Callan glanced at Finn and Sloan. The former looked wary. The latter had his arms crossed, with a look that said this was absolutely not going to happen.
“Tava,” Callan started carefully. “After our last escapade there, I really do not think this is a good idea. Not until things have calmed down.”
“Veda is not going to be here,” Tava repeated.
“I understand that, but we do not know for sure it was Veda behind your attempted abduction. She is just our best guess.”
“They depend on me for things, Callan.”
“And you are still getting them necessities, Tava,” Callan countered. They had discussed it a few times, how she found other ways to make sure they were getting blankets, food, tonics.
“And they did tell you not to come back, Lady Tava,” Finn interjected. “I do not think Lady Veda would need to be our only worry there any more.”
“That was one man,” Tava argued. “What of Helen? Of Mary Ellen? Of the families who were not involved in any of that? Who are simply trying to survive?”
“I am not trying to imply they do not matter,” Callan said, attempting to reason with her. This was so unlike her. She was always so logical and astute. Granted, he had only truly come to know her these last several weeks. But they’d spent enough time together in those weeks, he felt like he could say he knew her fairly well.
“Then what are you trying to say?” she demanded, her voice beginning to rise.
“That it is not your responsibility,” Callan answered, his own voice rising. “Someone is trying to kidnap you, Tava! How can you have such little regard for your own wellbeing?”
Tava stared back at him, her eyes hard. It was so silent in the room, all Callan could hear was the quiet ticking of the clock. The silence seemed to stretch on and on before Tava cleared her throat, clasping her hands in her lap. “Have I ever told you how much I love hot summer days?”
Confusion had his brows knitting together at the sudden change in subject, but it was mere seconds before realization dawned on him.
This was what was going to drive to her to seek an end to their arrangement?
“Tava,” Callan said, rising and taking a step towards her. “Let’s talk about this.”
“You have said quite enough, Callan,” she said calmly, her throat working to contain her emotions as she got to her feet.
“Tava, please. It is too dangerous for you to go there, even if we do end this ruse. It will take time for news to spread, and even then …”
And even then she might not ever be able to take up the things she had been doing. The people there knew she was engaged to the Crown. They knew she was nobility, willing to get into bed with the people who chose to turn a blind eye to their plights. That was his fault. That was something she had sacri?ced for him.
“You say it is not my responsibility,” Tava said suddenly. “Then whose is it, Callan? Yours? The king’s? What makes my wellbeing so much more important than any of theirs? Simply because of who I was born to? Someone needs to care, Callan.”
“And who is to care about you?” he countered. “Who is to care that you are putting yourself at risk when there are other ways to serve them?”
“No one questions when Scarlett wants to swing a sword and sneak around in the night, but when I do it to help people and not kill them, my wellbeing suddenly becomes more important?”
“You are not her,” Callan said.
“Thank the gods for that,” Sloan muttered under his breath.
Callan gripped her shoulders. “You are not her, Tava,” he repeated. “You have said so yourself. And that recklessness? That inability to let anyone take care of her? That is not something to covet. Those are qualities you should not strive for. Being unable to let anyone in? That is not something you want.”
“You know nothing of what I want,” Tava all but spat back at him.
“Then tell me,” he said. “Tell me what you want, Tava.”
“I want to matter, Callan!” she cried, two tears slipping free. “I want to matter not because of my bloodline, not because I can produce heirs. I want to make a difference for someone, not because they did something to earn it, but because they deserve it simply by being alive. Because while I did not grow up among them, I still know what it is to be forgotten. I still know what it is to be left in the background. Do I know what it is like to go hungry? To not have shelter? To be poor? No. Do I know what it is to move unseen among others like a spirit? Yes.”
“Tava,” Callan breathed, pulling her into his chest and his arms wrapping around her. His chin rested atop her head, and he felt her small hands ?st in his shirt at his sides.
After several minutes of holding her, she pushed back, swiping at her cheeks with her ?ngers. “Please, Callan. Veda is gone. Can we go this last time? Then we can ?nd other ways to help them, but this last time … Please.”
“I still do not think it is a good idea,” he said gently.
Her shoulders sagged, and he knew she wouldn’t defy him on this. It was too ingrained in her. She would fall into line, obey the order of a man, of her Crown Prince.
And he hated it.
He hated that she would give in, simply because she had been taught that men were superior and that her place was above commoners but below royalty. He hated that anyone would feel that way, but seeing her hurting because of it, caused something in his chest to tighten.
He exhaled sharply through his nose. “One time, Tava. This is the last time we do this. We go in disguised and discreet, and tomorrow you and I will discuss ways to help them here and in other cities in the kingdom.”
She met his gaze, a tentative hope entering her eyes. “You mean that?”
“I still do not think it is a good idea,” he said again.
“It is a stupid idea,” Sloan cut in, but Finn was already gathering cloaks and extra weapons.
“We take horses until we are a few blocks away,” Finn said, as they left Callan’s chambers and began making their way down to the grounds. “We are not walking an hour back here if things do not go well. Which I am expecting they will not, by the way.”
“It is a few tonics and blankets,” Tava said softly, her hands deep in the pockets of her cloak. She wouldn’t look at any of them, and Callan could read her well enough by this point to know she was feeling guilty.
The woman was feeling guilty for wanting to help those who could not help themselves.
How utterly ridiculous was that?
Sloan brought out Callan’s black stallion ?rst, and Callan turned to Tava. “Do you want to ride with me or with Finn?”
“You. If that is all right,” she answered, her eyes ?xed on the ground.
He gestured to her to come forward, and he helped her into the saddle before he swung up behind her. Once they were both situated and Finn and Sloan were atop their horses, they made their way to the pickup location the High Healer had sent to Tava.
“Have you ever met the High Healer?” he asked Tava.
She shook her head. “No. Messengers always delivered Scarlett’s tonics. When we would go to the poor neighborhoods, Scarlett always had what we needed. When she was gone, the High Healer reached out to me, and it became what it is now.”
“The High Healer reached out to you? Why?”
She shrugged against his chest. “She must have known I often helped Scarlett, I suppose.”
Neither of them spoke again until after they had retrieved the two small bags of supplies that Sloan and Finn now had attached to their saddles. He had so much he wanted to say to her. He didn’t want her to think her compassion was a fault. He didn’t want her to think he was upset that she wanted to help these people. She was right. It should be him demanding this. It should be him wanting to know why his father didn’t do more. And he certainly did not want her to feel as if she didn’t matter.
When they were a few blocks from the slums, they left the horses with Finn. Callan and Sloan each had a bag looped over an arm, Tava walking between them. All was quiet when they turned onto the street. Much quieter than it had been when they had come here last time. They made their way to Helen’s shack ?rst, and Tava quickly made her way up the walk and through the decrepit door.
“Helen?” she called out.
“Tava?” came the old woman’s raspy voice.
Tava quickly lit a candle before moving to the woman’s side. She was in the same corner she’d been sitting in last time, huddled under scraps of fabric.
“What are you doing here, Child?” Helen asked, her eyes seeming to widen some.
“I brought you tonics and blankets,” Tava answered, motioning Callan to come forward with the bag he carried. “I am sorry I could not come sooner.”
“You wasn’t suppose to come,” the woman said, her head shaking slightly.
“What do you mean?” Tava asked, digging through the bag until she found the vials she was looking for.
The old woman looked up at Callan like she could see his face beneath the hood.
“They will be waiting for her when you leave this house,” she rasped. Tava stilled, her ?ngers on the cork of the vial.
“Who will be?” Sloan demanded, stepping forward.
Helen stiffened. “What you keep bringing strangers here for, Tava? He was not with you last time.”
“They are helping me,” Tava said. “Who will be waiting for me, Helen?”
“You wasn’t suppose to come,” Helen said again, reaching a shaky hand out to take the vial Tava was extending to her.
“We need to go,” Sloan said, and Callan saw his hands shift beneath his cloak, reaching for weapons.
“Give me some blankets,” Tava said instead, pointing at the bag Sloan still had on his shoulder.
Sloan swore under his breath, but passed the bag to Callan. He pulled two small, wool blankets from the bag, handing them to Tava, who tucked them carefully around Helen.
“Can I get you anything else before we leave?” she asked the old woman.
“You need to get outta here,” the woman said, grasping Tava’s hands between her own. “You get outta here and go where it’s safe. Don’t come back.”
Tava pulled a hand free and patted Helen’s arm. “Do not worry about me, Helen. That is why I brought them with me,” she said with a wink and nod at Callan and Sloan.
“They won’t matter, Child. They wants you,” the woman said somberly as Tava pushed to her feet. Callan immediately reached a hand out to help her up.
“I think we should go, Tava,” Callan said while they made their way back to the front door. Tava had left three more vials of the tonic on the small table beside the candle and was pulling on her gloves. He reached over and pulled her hood up for her.
“We are going,” Sloan cut in, his tone daring either of them to argue with him.
“Let’s just take the rest of these things to Mary Ellen and—”
She stopped speaking as they stepped out the door and found a group of twenty men standing before them. Some held torches, illuminating the space. Others held pipes. Clubs. Knives.
Sloan stepped in front of both of them, and Callan was pulling Tava into him, his hand going to the short sword at his waist.
“Hey there, angel,” one man near the front of the group said. Callan recognized him as the same man who had tried to get her to follow him the last time they were here. “We was hoping you’d show up tonight. They said you would.”
“Who is ‘they’?” Callan asked.
“Ain’t no business of yours, is it?” the man sneered. “In fact, I’ll make you two a deal. You give us her, and we let you walk outta here.”
“I am afraid that is not an option tonight,” Callan answered, his arm tightening around Tava.
“What is going to happen,” Sloan cut in, his tone dark and commanding, “is you lot are going to let us walk out of here. No one is going to do anything stupid, and we will all go on about our business.”
A few of the men in the group chuckled, and the entire mob seemed to lurch forward.
“Nah,” the man, apparently the leader, said. “That ain’t what’s going to happen at all. See, we will be getting quite a bit o’ coin if we bring the angel to them.”
“We will give you more coin to let us leave without a problem,” Callan countered, taking a step back when the crowd moved closer again.
The man scoffed. “Angel,” he chided, shaking his head, “you bringing more high society shit in here? Ain’t enough to be better than us by marrying a prince?”
“I am not better than any of you,” Tava replied, and Callan was rather impressed by the con?dence in her voice. There was no quavering, no note of fear. “And neither are they. We only want to help.”
“You want to help us, angel ?” the man sneered.
“I do,” Tava insisted, undeterred by the man’s tone.
“Then let us turn you over to be used for whatever purposes they want,” he sneered again. “That’s the only way a noble whore like yourself could be of any use to us lowlifes in the slums.”
“Watch your mouth,” Callan snapped, and the entire crowd broke out into laughter.
“You know she’s gonna marry the prince, right?” the man asked. “Don’t get in the way of this over a piece you won’t be able to touch any more soon anyway.”
Sloan had drawn his sword as the crowd had moved closer. “Who wants her?” he asked.
“Don’t care,” the man shrugged. “Alls I know is I’m gonna get enough coin to feed my family for a year when I drag her outta here,” he continued, pointing the knife he held at Tava.
“You are not going to touch her,” Callan snarled.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” the man sneered. “She’s coming with us, and maybe we’ll even break her in a lil’ more before her prince gets her.”
“Maybe her prince won’t even want her any more after we’re done,” another man chimed.
“Wouldn’t that be poetic, angel?” the ?rst man said, moving closer again. “You thinkin’ you’re better than us, only to be tossed out by your prince?”
Tava was beginning to tremble beside him, but her voice was steady when she said, “I have never thought I was better than any of you.”
“See, I used to think that, angel,” the man said, tapping the hilt of his knife against his chin. “Then you went and got engaged to the godsdamn Crown Prince. You ain’t any better than them, and you’ll forget about us, just like they did. You jus’ come here to make yerself feel better. You ain’t ever cared.”
“That is not true,” Tava insisted.
The man shrugged again. “I don’t really care if it is or not, and we’re done talking. Come down here like a good bitch, and we’ll go easy on ya.”
“I have already stated you are not going to touch her,” Callan said, pulling his short sword from its scabbard.
“Unless you got the royal guard here with ya, you ain’t gonna stop us,” the man sneered.
“How convenient,” Sloan said, his tone low and deadly as he pulled back his hood. “That is exactly who is with them.”
The crowd all stumbled back a step. The man’s eyes ?ew back to Tava, wrath and fury blazing in them. “You brought the motherfuckin’ royal guard here?”
“It’s only one,” a man yelled from the back. “We can handle one.” Callan looked down at Tava, and she was already shaking her head.
He could see the pleading in her eyes, begging him not to do what he was about to, but there was really no other way out of this.
“I am sorry, Tava,” he murmured, before releasing his arm from around her and pulling back his hood. There were audible gasps and curse words muttered. He was recognizable enough, even in torchlight. “If any of you lay a ?nger on any of us, know that we have more royal guards waiting for our return. There will be no hesitation if they need to come for us.”
Hatred emanated from the mob before him, and the man who had been speaking spat at their feet. He pointed his knife at Tava again. “If you ever come back here again, angel , we will kill you. Get the fuck out.”
The crowd slowly backed away, giving them space to move down the walkway. Sloan kept himself positioned between Callan and Tava and the crowd, but the men didn’t move to attack or pursue them. They didn’t know it was only Finn waiting for them to return, and apparently, they didn’t want to risk bringing more of the royal guard into the slums. Callan had Tava’s hand gripped ?rmly in his, and his grip didn’t loosen, not even when Finn and the horses came into sight.
“What happened?” Finn asked, instantly drawing his weapon when he saw their hoods down and swords out.
“It was a fucking trap,” Sloan growled, reaching for the reins of his horse.
“Are you all right?” Finn asked, his gaze swinging to Callan and Tava.
“We are ?ne,” Callan replied, reaching to help Tava onto the horse.
“Let’s just get out of here.”
Within seconds, they were mounted and had the horses moving down the streets at a quick pace. Callan didn’t breathe easier until they were back in the Elite District, and he didn’t want to think about what kind of prince that made him. That he didn’t feel safe among his own people. No, he didn’t have it in him to contemplate that tonight.
“Please take me home,” Tava said quietly. The ?rst words she’d uttered since leaving the slums.
“If that is what you wish,” Callan said.
A few minutes later, he was helping her dismount and walking her to her front door. It was locked, as one would expect it to be at this hour of the night. He was about to ask if there was another door they should try, but Tava brought her gloved hand up, banging on the door.
“Drake!” she called, something cracking in her voice. She was banging her ?st again. “Drake! Let me in!”
She kept banging on the door, until it was yanked open, Drake standing there shirtless, in loose pants, and barefoot. “Tava? What are you—”
Tava said nothing, pushing past her brother and moving inside and up the grand staircase before disappearing down the hall.
Drake turned to Callan. “What happened?” he demanded. He looked furious. Protective. Ready to defend his sister against whatever threats were plaguing her.
Callan pulled his gloves off, placing them in a pocket of his cloak. “Will you allow me to speak with her?”
“No,” Drake said immediately. “Not until you tell me what has happened. Is she hurt? Is she all right?”
“She is not hurt,” Callan reassured him. “We had … an unexpected night.”
“Explain,” Drake snarled.
“I cannot,” Callan replied. “Not without betraying her con?dence, which I am unwilling to do.”
“I did not even know she was gone,” Drake said, carving a hand through his golden hair. “I got in late. Her door was closed. I assumed she was asleep. No one said anything.”
“Your previous resident taught her many ways to leave this house unnoticed,” Callan said.
Drake sighed. “Of course she did.”
“May I go speak with her, please? If not, I will wait in the sitting room until she comes down.”
Drake studied him for a moment, his stare nearly as piercing as his sister’s. “Third door down on the right,” he ?nally said, nodding towards the stairs.
“Thank you, Drake,” Callan said, clapping him on the shoulder when he stepped past him and headed up the stairs. When he came to her door, he knocked softly.
“I do not wish to speak right now, Drake,” Tava called out, a slight quaver in her voice.
“It is me, Tava. May I come in?”
Silence came from the other side of the door and stretched on and on before the door ?nally opened. She still wore the pants and tunic, but she’d removed her boots. Her hair was unbound and loose around her shoulders.
“May I come in?” Callan repeated.
“Of course, your Highness,” she said, stepping to the side so he could enter.
Callan stiffened at the formality. That was not how this conversation was going to go.
He pushed the door shut behind him, watching Tava drift over to a window. He looked around the room, slightly shocked to ?nd various clothing strewn about. Books and papers were scattered across a low-lying table. It made sense, he supposed. This was perhaps the one place she was not required to be perfect and proper. The one place she could be messy and chaotic.
“What can I do for you?” Tava asked, drawing his attention back to her. She had her hands clasped loosely in front of her, back straight.
“First off, we are not going to do this,” Callan said, gesturing between them. “This formal shit is not what we do any more.”
“Make no mistake, your Highness,” Tava said coldly, “if you were not the Crown Prince, I would not have let you in tonight.”
“You let me in because you felt like you had to?”
“Who am I to deny a Crown Prince?”
The words clanged through him. When they’d been said to him before, they had been teasing and mocking from the lips of a brash assassin. But Tava … She meant them.
“You truly believe that? That you are beneath me simply because of my title?” Callan asked.
“Is it right? No. Is it the reality of our world? Yes,” Tava answered.
“Outside maybe,” Callan countered. “But not when it is just us, Tava. Not when we are alone.”
“Why should that make any difference, Callan?” she cried. “Why is it that outside these walls, I am nothing but a woman who is expected to act a certain way, speak a certain way? I am expected to accept my place? Be given to whomever will benefit from my bloodline the most? Spread my legs and produce heirs to further this entire broken system? Why is it that I have the ability to help those at the bottom and even they do not want my help? What good is all of this if I can do nothing with it?” She picked up a porcelain teacup from a small side table, hurling it at the wall. It shattered, shards flying in every direction as she sank down along the wall behind her. Her face fell into her hands, golden hair falling around her.
Callan unclasped his cloak, pulling it off and draping it across a chair, before he slowly moved towards her. He lowered himself to his knees before reaching tentatively for her wrists, pulling them gently from her face. Tears streaked down her face, and he found himself wiping them away.
“Little fox,” he sighed, maneuvering so he sat next to her against the wall. He kept one hand clasped in his, and her head fell against his shoulder. “You have done more good than you could possibly imagine, even if you cannot see it.”
“How, Callan? They will not even allow me to serve them any more,” she said through her tears.
“Perhaps not directly, but because of you, because you took me there and showed me a side of my kingdom I did not want to see, they are no longer forgotten,” he answered gently. “We will make sure of that, Tava. You have my word.”
“There are so many more. Just like them. Not only here in Baylorin, Callan, but all over Windonelle. In Rydeon. Toreall.” She swallowed thickly. “How can no one else care?”
“So incredibly sel?ess,” he murmured, reaching over and brushing hair back off of her forehead.
“I have said before, I am not sel?ess. I simply care,” Tava replied. Then she added, in a whisper so soft Callan almost didn’t hear it, “Sometimes I wish I did not.”
“Do not say that, Tava. You are the standard by which everyone should be measured. Your level of caring is what I strive for. Without you, I would be engaged to a Maraan Lady, and I still do not even know what that means,” Callan said.
“And yet she has somehow still destroyed something I have worked years to build,” she said, and Callan reached over to brush tears away once more.
His ?ngers ran along her jaw, pausing to cup her chin and tipping her face up to him. “What you are doing matters, Tava. What you are doing is making a difference. You may not see it. You may feel like it is futile, but I promise your actions are being felt in a ripple effect. And if you have made a difference in even one person’s life, would you not consider it worth it?”
“Yes,” she breathed.
“Then know that you have made a difference in mine.”
Her eyes fell closed, and he released her chin, letting her head fall back to his shoulder. He rested his cheek against her hair. After several minutes, she said, “You tried to tell me this would happen. I feel incredibly foolish that I insisted on going.”
“Do not feel foolish, Tava.”
“You were right, you know. I may have been raised as nobility, but it is still very different from being royalty.”
Callan tensed beside her. “Do you still wish to call off our arrangement?”
“No, Callan,” she said softly. “I do not wish for that at all.”
Relief ?ooded through him, and he felt his entire body relax at her words. “Tava?”
“Yes?”
“I see you, Tava. I just … want you to know that I see you. You are not in my background. You are not a spirit that blends in. I see you. I apologize that it took this long to do so.”
Tava had stilled beside him. After several seconds of silence she asked quietly, “Is this still a ruse, Callan?”
Always to the point. Always so observant. And if he were being honest, this hadn’t been a ruse for weeks now. Maybe Eliza had been right when she had told him Scarlett had been an obstacle preventing him from moving forward. Maybe with her gone, he could see what had been right in front of him for years. She was just as brilliant as Scarlett. She was more compassionate, more caring, and instead of luring him into shadows, Tava called him to the light.
“No, little fox,” he ?nally answered. “I do not think it is.” He waited for her to reply, and when she didn’t say anything, he said, “I do believe you ?gured out it stopped being a ruse well before I did.”
“I do not wish to be a replacement for her, Callan,” she said softly. “I do not wish to be some consolation prize. That is worse than not being seen.”
Callan straightened, turning to face her. He took her face in his hands. “Please do not think that.”
“You loved her, Callan,” Tava replied, her eyes ?lled with a sad sort of acceptance.
“But I do not any more. Perhaps I never did.”
“You followed her to the Fire Court.”
Callan shook his head, refusing to accept that Scarlett was going to ruin this for him too. “She once said to me that I was in love with the idea of her, and I think she was right. She challenged me. She started to make me think differently. She started to open my eyes, but you? Tava, you took the blindfold off. You showed me the things she would only tell me about. You showed me what I could be, what I should be.”
Tava swallowed thickly before reaching up and removing his hands from her face. “I think you should go, Callan. It has been a long night. Emotions are high. We can talk tomorrow if you wish.”
“I wish to speak with you every day, Tava. I wish to never go a day without speaking to you again.” Her cheeks ?ushed slightly, but she started to push to her feet. Callan quickly got to his own so he could help her up. When she went to pull away from him again, he squeezed her ?ngers, halting her. “I am not saying I am in love with you, Tava. Do not think I have simply thrown myself into something new to avoid whatever it was Scarlett and I were.”
“Then what are you saying, Callan?”
“I am saying I want to try. I want to try making this ruse real and see where it goes,” he answered, stepping into her, her head tilting back to look at him. “You do not need to decide right this moment,” he went on when she hesitated. “You have dealt with enough tonight. When you decide, let me know. Yes?”
“Callan, I …” Her eyes darted to the side for a moment before settling back on him. “I was not expecting this. This was not part of the plan.”
“Maybe the plan was shit from the beginning,” he said, and Tava huffed a laugh. His eyes dipped to her mouth at the sound.
“Perhaps it was, your Highness,” she conceded. “I will consider it.”