Chapter 37 Scarlett
CHAPTER 37
SCARLETT
S carlett awoke an hour or so before dawn. The only light was the fire that was still crackling in the hearth. She could feel Sorin’s arm still draped protectively across her chest, his hand resting on her shoulder, and she turned to find him sleeping. She studied him, his face softened by sleep. Despite having only known him a few months, she’d somehow found herself sharing things with him she hadn’t shared with anyone else. And while she did enjoy kissing him, she couldn’t help but feel like shit for whatever was still going on with Callan, despite her attempts to end it.
She stared at the fire, letting her mind wander. Until it stilled on memories she’d long kept locked up. Veda stabbing Cassius. Nuri bleeding out. An old office. Plunging a dagger into Juliette’s heart. Hearing her say I love you. Now that they were out, she couldn’t get them shoved back into that place deep inside her.
Veda stabbing Cassius. Nuri bleeding out. An old office. Plunging a dagger into Juliette’s heart. Hearing her say I love you.
Breathe, she ordered herself, but she couldn’t regulate it. She couldn’t get enough air down. Pain burned in her ribs where the Assassin Lord had injured her as she tried to make her lungs cooperate.
It was like a nightmare, but one she couldn’t wake up from. The images flashed before her again and again. Veda stabbing Cassius. Nuri bleeding out. An old office. Plunging a dagger into Juliette’s heart. Hearing her say I love you.
She sat upright, pain flaring in her abdomen, and Sorin was instantly awake beside her. “Scarlett.” His hands were on her face. His golden eyes were on hers, but there was no terror or worry in them. Not like Cassius got. Just a calmness, a steadiness that she hadn’t known she’d been searching for. “Breathe.”
But she couldn’t.
Veda stabbing Cassius. Nuri bleeding out. An old office. Plunging a dagger into Juliette’s heart. Hearing her say I love you. She could hear her. She could hear Juliette as if she were holding her head in her lap once more.
“Scarlett.” He brought her hand to his chest. “Feel me. Feel me breathing in and out. Make our breathing match. In and out.”
She forced a breath down. Felt her lungs expand and contract as she focused on his doing the same under her fingers.
“Good,” he soothed. “Again.”
She did so. In and out. In and out. Again and again until their breathing was perfectly in sync.
After several minutes she said, “I’m fine.”
His eyes searched hers warily. “You are sure?”
“Yes,” she answered quietly.
His mouth quirked as if he didn’t believe her, but he sat back into the cushions again. “You did not go home last night.”
“You’re so observant,” she scoffed, hitting him with the pillow she had been sleeping on.
“Cassius is going to show up at my door any moment demanding to know what I have done to you,” he said with a smirk, bringing his arms above his head in a stretch.
“Will you be able to get away today? To meet with Callan and the others?
“I am sure I will,” he answered, rising to his feet. He crossed the room and went to the kitchen. When he emerged, he was carrying a plate of fruit, bread, and cheese. Two cups of tea appeared on the end table beside the sofa.
She picked up a cup of tea as he sat beside her once more and passed her a pear. She gave him a nod of thanks, and she said, “Now that you know everything, help me scheme, General.”
“Do you wish to tell Callan what I am? What you are?” he asked, taking a bite of bread.
“If you think it will help,” she answered.
“I think it would help you convince the prince that you cannot be with him,” he said carefully.
She pressed her lips together into a line. “That is the least of my concerns.”
“It should be one of the greatest,” Sorin answered. “He is reckless because of his feelings for you.”
Scarlett sat up straighter at his words. “Maybe I should just go with you to your Fae lands,” she mused. “It would make things so much easier.”
“Running never makes things easier,” he replied halfheartedly.
She studied him a moment. His dark hair fell across his forehead, and his eyes seemed to go far away for a moment. She sighed. “I feel like I’ve spent my entire life running. Not running from something, but running to something. I just can never figure out what.”
His eyes came back to hers. “Maybe you just need to stand still long enough for it to catch up with you.”
A smile tugged at her mouth. “Such sage words from an ancient immortal being.” He barked a laugh. “How old are you anyway?”
“Age is irrelevant to us ancient immortal beings,” he answered with a wink.
“Just answer the question,” she said, taking a sip of tea.
“So demanding this morning, Princess.”
She rolled her eyes. “Wherever that pet name came from, you can cease use of it any time.”
Sorin seemed to hesitate. He opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a banging on the door. They both froze, their eyes going to the door. Cassius wouldn’t bang on the door like that, and Callan wouldn’t come here again so soon. Would he?
The banging sounded again, followed by, “General Renwell? It is Tava Tyndell. Please let me in.”
Tava banged on the door again, and Scarlett started from the couch, her tea cup crashing to the floor as she rushed for the door. She pulled it open just as Tava was reaching up to knock again.
“Thank the gods you are awake,” she exclaimed, rushing into the room.
Scarlett shut the door behind her. “What’s wrong? Do you know what time it is?”
The clock over the mantel said it was nearly six in the morning. “Yes, I do. What are you wearing?” Tava answered, eyeing Scarlett’s attire.
“Not the time, Tava,” Scarlett replied in annoyance.
“Right. You need to come home. Right now,” Tava said. Her voice rang with urgency.
“What? Why? Is everything okay?” Scarlett glanced to Sorin. He remained by the sofa, but he had stood, taking in the scene.
“No, everything is not okay,” Tava answered, wringing her hands together.
“Spit it out, Tava!”
“Mikale is going to call on you at nine this morning,” Tava answered, the words spilling out of her mouth. “The Assassin Lord summoned Cassius away, forbidding him to intervene.”
Scarlett’s blood went cold. In fact, the whole room went cold despite Sorin’s fire.
“Scarlett…” She heard Sorin say her name, almost as if in warning.
“Why is he coming to see me?” she asked, her voice as cold as the room. Tava didn’t answer, but her eyes told her enough. They were full of pity and sorrow. “Say it, Tava.”
Tava bit her bottom lip, glancing again from Scarlett to Sorin. “They also have Nuri. Mikale said they know you have been meeting with Prince Callan, and if you do not show, they will kill her.”
“What does he want?” Sorin demanded.
Tava’s eyes flicked between them again. “Say it, Tava,” Scarlett repeated, barely a whisper.
“He will ask my father for her hand in marriage,” Tava replied quietly. “If Scarlett refuses, he will kill Nuri.”
Scarlett felt as though she were underwater. Sound was muffled and distorted. The roaring in her ears was just like that night a year ago. She could see Tava’s lips moving, but couldn’t make out what she was saying. She had never believed Mikale would actually get a hold of Nuri again, not with the knowledge that he would start a war with the Black Syndicate. How had he done it?
And the Assassin Lord had held true to his word. He wasn’t waiting until tonight to bestow her punishment. He was handing her over right now. She had brought this about.
Her whole body felt cold. She could see her breath in front of her, but it didn’t register as odd. She didn’t take note of the look of terror on Tava’s face, her lips turning blue. She didn’t notice the frost coating her own fingertips. She felt the little food she’d eaten that morning turning in her stomach. She brought her hands to her ears, trying to drown out the muffled sounds of the world around her. They sounded like rushing water in her ears.
And then Sorin was before her. Scarlett saw him point Tava to the couch, saying something that she couldn’t register. The look on her face was so similar to her look of horror in the bathing room that night. Sorin’s hands wrapped around her wrists. They were hot, as if invisible flames encompassed them. He gently pulled her hands from her ears.
Scarlett.
She jerked her head up. He had said her name, but he hadn’t. His lips hadn’t moved.
“Scarlett.”
This time, she saw his lips move as she stared at him. Heard her name across his tongue. She must have imagined it the first time. She was in shock. She wasn’t processing anything correctly.
“Scarlett, say something,” Sorin said, searching her eyes, gently pushing stray hair back from her face.
The room was warm again, her breath no longer visible. The heat of the fire in the fireplace seemed to have been turned up.
“Scarlett.” This time when he said her name, there was command in it. Her name sounded like an order. She could hear the general in his tone.
Scarlett took in his face a moment longer, not really looking at him but rather through him, before she turned to face Tava. “Go back to the manor. I’ll be along shortly,” she said, striding toward the bedroom.
“Wait. What?” Tava demanded, her hands going to her hips.
Scarlett paused at the doorway of the bedroom. “I need to gather my things and freshen up to return to the manor. You go. I’ll be along shortly.”
Tava opened her mouth to argue, but Scarlett had already entered the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She could vaguely hear the muffled voices of Sorin and Tava in the living area as she walked straight to the washroom and vomited the contents of her stomach.
Scarlett heard the bedroom door open and shut gently. Still kneeling before the toilet, she heaved herself to her feet, yelling to the bedroom, “Tava, I need a minute. Please go and I’ll—”
But it wasn’t Tava who appeared in the washroom doorway.
“Sorry I did not knock,” Sorin said, taking in her appearance.
“It’s your room. I suppose you wouldn’t need to knock,” Scarlett answered, shrugging her shoulders. She walked to the sink and used a cup to rinse the vomit taste from her mouth.
“Are you…” Sorin trailed off, seeming to not know what to say.
“Am I what?” Scarlett asked calmly, gathering up the hairbrush, hair pins, and various other toiletry items that Tava had sent for her. She pushed past Sorin into the bedroom. Dumping the items onto the bed, she turned, looking around the room for the leather bag Tava had brought the items in.
“What are you doing?” Sorin asked, tracking her movements around the room.
“What does it look like I am doing? I’m packing my things,” she answered, finding the bag resting in a chair. She tossed the toiletry items into it, then gently placed the folded red gown in as well.
“I can see you are packing your things,” Sorin growled in annoyance. “I mean, what are you going to do ?”
“I’m going to go back to the manor and see Mikale,” Scarlett answered. She moved to the door to go retrieve the peach atrocity that Tava had brought her, which was still in the other bedroom.
“You cannot be serious?” Sorin said, trailing behind her.
“It would be rude of me to not be there.”
“When have you ever given a fuck about being rude?” Sorin demanded. “This entire time I have known you—”
Scarlett whirled on him. “Oh, these past few months that you have known me? You think you know me now?”
“I would say I know you better than most,” Sorin countered, ire lacing his words.
“Grow up,” Scarlett said, rolling her eyes. “What do you care anyway? You’re going home, remember?” She turned to continue into the spare bedroom, reaching for the doorknob, but quickly pulled her hand back when it was too hot to touch.
“Are you serious right now?” she asked, giving Sorin a look of pure irritation. Sorin didn’t move. He was studying her, clearly trying to decide what to say or do. “Oh, forget it,” Scarlett snarled. “That dress is hideous anyway. I’ll sneak back into the manor in this. I’ll have your clothing washed and returned to you.”
Scarlett began heading to Sorin’s bedroom again, but he blocked her path. Her anger was quickly rising to the surface. Sorin still had not moved, but was just watching her, which made her even more furious.
“Let me get my things,” she growled through gritted teeth.
Finally Sorin asked, “What are you going to do?”
“What would you like me to do?” Scarlett countered, crossing her arms across her chest, leveling a wicked glare at him.
Sorin stalked over to her until he was nearly toe-to-toe. She had to look up to see his face. He gripped her shoulders and said, his voice steely calm, “First, I want you to react. Then I want you to fight.”
Scarlett stared at him, a sneer on her lips. “You want me to react?”
“Yes, Scarlett. I want you to show some godsdamn emotion that you are about to be given to a bastard. Some emotion to the fact that you know he is going to force you into something. Some type of emotion other than going into shock for a few minutes, vomiting, and then shoving any type of feeling down so deep you are numb. Why the fuck would the Assassin Lord order Cassius not to intervene?”
Scarlett continued to level a cool stare at him. “How exactly would you like me to react? Would you prefer sobbing hysterically or trembling with terror? Would you prefer me turn into a wraith of wrath or a Fae bitch unable to control her magic?”
“Any of those would be preferable over this, but I would say the last two options would be your best bet,” Sorin sneered, his tone as cool as her stare. “You did not answer my question. Why would the Assassin Lord order Cassius not to intervene?”
“Let me get my things, Sorin. I need to get back to the manor,” she said, trying to shove past him.
“No. Answer my question.”
“You are not my keeper, General ,” Scarlett spat. “I will send for my things.” Scarlett turned on her heel and made her way to the door. The doorknob glowed red hot as she reached for it.
“You are a prick,” she snarled. “You cannot keep me here in a cage.”
“Why am I more upset about this than you?” Sorin shouted. She could hear the exasperation in his voice, see it on his face.
“That’s a damn good question. Why are you more upset about this than I am?”
Sorin stared at her for a long moment, his eyes searching hers. She stared coldly back. He stepped from the bedroom doorway, and the main door clicked open. “Do what you wish, Scarlett,” he said. Then he turned and walked into the kitchen.
Scarlett stomped to the spare bedroom, ripped the peach dress from the bed, returned to Sorin’s bedroom, and stuffed it into the leather bag. How dare he try to tell her what to do. How dare he try and keep her here. He wasn’t the one about to be forced to make a choice to save her family. He wasn’t the one who had sacrificed so much only to be forced to give more. How dare he act offended that she wouldn’t fall apart over this. She had survived far worse than this, and she’d done so by herself for many years. Fuck, she was only in this godsdamn mess because she refused to kill—
Scarlett chucked the leather bag back onto the bed and stalked to the kitchen. She found Sorin leaning against the counter, drinking a glass of water. His face was grave, and his dark hair looked like he’d been running his hands through it.
“I thought you needed to get back to the manor,” he said, thick with sarcasm, bringing the glass back up to take another drink.
Scarlett reached up and knocked the glass from his hand. Water flew into his face and the glass shattered as it hit the counter then the floor. Sorin stared at her, unimpressed, water dripping down his face.
“Who the hell do you think you are?” Scarlett screamed. She was inches from him, standing on her tiptoes to be in his face. She shoved a pointed finger into his chest. “You tried to lock me up, keep me here . You tried to put me in a cage! I can take care of myself. I do not need your protection, and I certainly do not need you telling me how I should feel. ” Sweat beaded on her forehead. Her hands felt like she was holding wildfire in her palms. “And for the love of Saylah, can you back off on the heat in here?”
“Look at that,” Sorin smirked. “Some emotions.”
Scarlett reached up to slap him across the face, but he caught her wrist faster than she could register. The room went from sweltering to freezing in a matter of seconds. She glared at him, trying to pull her hand back, but he held fast. “I didn’t say put all the fires out, you ass.”
“I am not doing that,” he replied.
“Let go of me.”
To her surprise, he released her wrist immediately. She turned and started pacing back and forth in the kitchen. “You act as if I have a choice in this matter. You act as if I have any say.”
“Of course you have a say, Scarlett. You always have a choice,” Sorin answered, fury lacing his words.
Scarlett barked a harsh laugh. “I’ve never had choices. Just the illusion of them. You heard Cassius last night. Lord Tyndell does not own me, but the Assassin Lord does.”
Sorin pushed off the counter and came over to her, gripping her shoulders to stop her pacing. “No one fucking owns you, Scarlett Monrhoe. You have a choice in this.”
Tears welled in her eyes, and she cursed herself for letting them. Looking at the floor, she replied, “No, Sorin. In this, I don’t have any choice at all.”
She felt him gently force her head up. Her eyes locked on his, and she felt like he could see to her very soul. “Especially in this, you have a choice.”
“How do you figure?”
“You say the word, and I will take you from here. I told you. I will not leave you alone, but I need you to choose it, Love.”
She pulled out of his grip, a single tear sliding down her cheek. “I cannot leave Nuri to a fate with Mikale. I cannot risk Cassius’s life. I cannot leave those orphans to be picked off one by one. You speak of responsibilities at home? I have my own,” she replied. She left the kitchen and walked back to the bedroom, grabbing the leather bag from the bed. If she didn’t leave now, she’d have a very difficult time sneaking back into the manor. She came out of the bedroom to find Sorin waiting for her at the main door.
“Here,” he said, holding his hand out to her. In it, her mother’s ring lay in the center of his palm.
Scarlett gently closed his fingers around it. “You keep it,” she said quietly, more tears escaping down her cheeks. “It is of far more use to you.”
Shock came over Sorin’s face as he shook his head. “No, Scarlett. It is yours. You must keep it.”
“Yes, it is mine, which makes it mine to give away. One of the few things I do have a say over,” she replied, reaching up and cupping his face with her hand. Her thumb stroked his cheek as she gave him a sad smile. “I wish I would have kissed you more,” she whispered.
Sorin gently pulled her to him and leaned down. A tender kiss brushed her lips. He touched his forehead to hers and said, “If you leave here, if you go to him, the stars will go out.”
She kissed him, a gentle press of lips on lips. Fresh tears filled her eyes. “There was only one star left anyway.”
He kissed her again, this kiss far more intense, his fingers fisting in her hair. He gently pulled back, his golden eyes piercing her soul again. “You are far more powerful than you realize, Scarlett. If you decide to fight, I will be by your side in an instant. I will find the light.”
Scarlett took in his eyes, his dark hair. She breathed in that ash and cedar scent one more time. Breathed it deep into her being as if it would be the strength she would need to face this. She had been a fool to think she could have ever started down a road with him, to think her soul had recognized him somehow that day in the training barracks. She had been a fool to think she could have such a gift with the atrocities she had committed. She had been a fool to let him take her wall down brick by brick. She brushed another kiss to his lips. “Go home, Sorin. You asked why the Assassin Lord would order Cassius not to intervene? Because this is my punishment. For defying him. For not letting go of Juliette. For not completing my assignment. For not killing my target.”
Sorin stilled against her, his fingers still in her hair. “Who?” he breathed. “Who were you assigned to kill?”
“You,” she whispered. “I was ordered to kill you. The day after we spoke in the training quarters, but I didn’t know it was you until you told me your real name that day I saw you speaking with the Fae Queen. I do not know why. He refused to tell me, but I couldn’t do it, Sorin. I couldn’t kill you. I couldn’t, despite being threatened with this punishment months ago. I still can’t. Please. Go home. Where he cannot touch you.”
“Scarlett.” Her name was a curse and a plea on his lips.
She rose up onto her tiptoes once more and pressed her lips to his one last time, and gave him a soft smile. “Goodbye, Sorin.”
Before he could stop her, she opened the door and left, not allowing herself to look back.