Chapter 13
Frustration was a very bad bedfellow, Ruaridh knew this firsthand, especially since it had been with him for a long time—since he met Violet, in fact—and somehow he could not find the way to kick it out of his head.
This was probably because the cause still resided in his head rent-free, tormenting his dreams with various erotic fantasies he would not be able to fulfill.
He did not understand how one person could be so endearing and so annoyingly rigid at the same time, but Violet was showing him that it was very possible. Driving him crazy at the moment.
“Good day, me Laird,” Logan greeted in a cheery tone that was at odds with his foul mood, further adding to his annoyance.
Ruaridh grunted in response, doing his best to stem the growing tide of bitterness that was rising in his chest. Logan was not the cause of his irritation, even though it was getting very difficult not to take out his frustration on him.
“Hmm,” Logan hummed after a pause. “This dark mood of yers wasnae what I expected at all. Since I saw yer lady drag ye off, I thought ye would be in high spirits after spending time with her.”
Yes, Ruaridh would have felt better after spending time with Violet if he had kissed her, if he had not simply flirted with temptation and emerged without soothing the urges it stirred.
So now he was sexually frustrated with no end in sight, wishing that he could go find her, drag her to some alcove, and devour her lips.
Except with the need now riding his body mercilessly, he would definitely not end things at a kiss. He would claim her body until there was nothing left, until he had burned the edge off his fiery desire.
Nothing would have stopped him from making her his in truth and making his obsession with her worse, because he could not lie with her and let go. He would have been treading the edge of coercion, using every manipulative technique in the book to bind her more to him.
So it was better this way, even though it felt synonymous with torture
“Aye,” he replied, unable to hide the bitterness in his voice. “Perhaps I would have been in better spirits if she had agreed to me proposal.”
“She rejected yer proposal?” Logan’s mouth dropped open in surprise.
“Nay, she asked for more time,” Ruaridh replied wearily.
“But we daenae have time, the celebration is barely a sennight away. What do we do?” Logan asked, panic coloring his voice.
“Nothing at this moment,” Ruaridh said quietly. “I would just observe and do me best to convince her.”
“We have to send out the invitations soon. The preparations have to be finalized. We cannae afford to invite the neighboring lairds to a wedding that isnae going to hold!” Logan exclaimed.
As if Ruaridh did not already know that.
The lairds of the neighboring clans had a good relationship with him, and were usually carefree when they met, but that did not in any way mean that they did not possess formidable egos that would be bruised if he invited them here only to waste their time.
“They wouldnae forgive ye,” Logan said quietly.
“This is me fault,” he muttered. “I should have made sure she was willing before making plans. I understood her reasons for delaying, but it seems she insists on running no matter how I try to show her that this could be a good match for her. Sometimes I suspect that she doesnae care for me as I care for her.”
“I beg to differ, me Laird,” Logan countered.
“I daenae think Miss Violet’s behavior has anything to do with her lack of care for ye.
That is simply nae true. I have watched both of ye exchange heated glances when ye think nay one is looking.
She does care for ye. I just think she is afraid of what marriage to ye will mean for her future and her place in this clan, and considering everything she has gone through, it is a valid concern. Ye should be more patient with her.”
“Me patience grows thin with every day that passes,” Ruaridh sighed. “I do understand her, considering the way we met was less than ideal. She has nay reason to trust that I could protect her when I hadnae managed to do that properly with me daughter.”
“What happened with Keira wasnae yer fault,” Logan said quietly.
“Then whose fault was it?” Ruaridh shot back bitterly. “She is me daughter. It is me duty to protect her, and I failed in that duty.”
“Ye have many duties as a faither and as a laird, and ye are just one man. Ye cannae be at more than one place at a time, or else ye will tire yerself out. If ye wish to blame anyone, blame me. I am yer man-at-arms, I should have watched the guards.”
“And abandon the hunt so the castle goes hungry? It wasnae yer fault that wee Keira takes after her ma and had sought to follow me after watching the path I took to join the hunt.”
No one could have anticipated Keira’s plans. His daughter seemed to have the ability to come up with a new plan in the heat of the moment, so no one had guessed that she might like to go hunting with her father. After all, she went to other functions with him, so why not hunting?
Ruaridh had always known that the little girl’s restless nature would be the end of him.
He had watched grown men tire out while trying to keep up with her.
It had always been his fear that one day, in their moment of exhaustion, she would slip away from them.
And it had happened, almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It was an incident that most men in the castle felt a little bit guilty for, but in the end, he was just grateful that they had gotten her back unharmed. He did not think he would have survived it if things had gone awry.
“I agree with ye. It seems I have him to thank for the torture I have to endure,” Ruaridh muttered.
Logan did not know if he should laugh or pity his friend.
It was definitely amusing to watch the usually stoic Laird being undone by a lady.
It was the first time he saw him being mellowed by another woman other than his grandmother and his little daughter, who had him wrapped around her little finger.
Violet had the power to tie the Laird in knots and steal his ever-present peace. Considering the heat Logan could sense between them, he understood Ruaridh’s need to marry her as a lasting solution to his obsession.
He should know, he felt something similar for a certain lady who refused to return his advances, even though they felt a sizzling attraction to each other.
The feeling could be heated and evoke that sense of helplessness, and not many people liked to show such vulnerability, even if it was with someone who shared the same feelings.
Fortunately, Ruaridh did not have to battle that with Violet. She had never hidden her attraction to him; they just had a spot of her fear to deal with.
Acknowledging that attraction was a step in the right direction, Logan suspected that if they spent more time together, they would be able to erase the invisible obstacles to their union.
“Me Laird,” he called, waiting until he had the other man’s attention before continuing. “I think I might have a solution to yer problem.”
“I am all ears,” Ruaridh replied, looking up from the accounts he had been balancing at him.
“Court her, Me Laird,” Logan suggested.
“Court her?” Ruaridh repeated incredulously, as if the man had suggested that he dance a jig half-naked in public.
“Aye, court her like a love interest. It is what one does with a lass one hopes to marry. Flirt with her, give her a lot of yer attention, fan her interest in ye into flames so that she would be more willing to consider yer suit.”
“I havenae paid court to a lady in years,” Ruaridh huffed in frustration. “The last time I paid court to a woman was when I was wooing me late wife.”
“Well, for the sake of yer sanity, ye need to dust off those skills and polish them once more for battle,” Logan replied. “Get to ken her as a person—her likes and dislikes, and what she is most passionate about. Let her get to ken ye as well.”
“She kens all there is to ken about me,” Ruaridh argued.
“Nay,” Logan replied with an indulgent smile.
“She only kens the parts of ye that ye have showed her—the grumpy Laird, Keira’s faither—and the part of ye that desires her.
She doesnae ken the other things—yer family, how ye came to be who ye are now, the things ye do when ye arenae being the Laird, yer favorite meals. ”
“She doesnae need to ken all of those things now. She will learn them as we spend our lives together.”
“Aye, but kenning now might help make her more at ease with ye. She would find it easier to trust ye when ye daenae seem too much like a stranger. After all, these are simple things one should ken about their lover, and if ye really want to marry her, ye would do anything within yer power to convince her that it would be worth her while. Ye have to fight for her heart.”
And that was what this was: a battle for Violet’s heart, one Ruaridh did not want to think of the possibility of losing.
Now that he thought about it, this was probably his best bet at winning her heart—using her desire for him to seduce her until she had no choice but to surrender. The plan might be a bit diabolical, but it was needed, so he just had to map out the process.
He was pulled out of his reverie by the sounds of giggling, feminine and happy, drifting up to the room.
“What is that?” he asked, standing up from his seat to go look out the window.
The sight he was met with was as strange as it was bewildering. Grannie Ava, Keira, and Violet were dressed in bright-colored dresses and seated in a semicircle on a blanket right there in the garden, with plates and spoons and tiny cups strewn between them.
He recognized the cutlery, which spiked his irritation. It appeared that the women in his household never ran out of things to torture him with, and this time, they had come up with something so ludicrous that he suspected it was Violet’s idea.
They were having a tea party, right there in his garden, complete with a tea set and the dresses and manners.
Since he knew Violet did not come to the Highlands with a tea set, it only left one explanation.
Leaving the window, he stepped out of the room and went down to find his way to the garden.
Long before that ill-fated trip, a relative of Mary’s had sent that tea set to congratulate them on the arrival of little Keira.
Ruaridh remembered vividly just how happy she had been to hear from that maternal cousin of hers.
She had treasured the tea set so much, but did not really use it.
How could she? She lived in the Highlands, and they weren’t the most delicate of guests to use such fine china.
Ruaridh had always hoped to buy the tea set for her, but he had not had the chance to before she died trying to visit that cousin she loved so much.
In the years that followed, he bought tea blends whenever he had the chance, dried chamomile and the like, and stashed them in his rooms. Logan often teased him that he acquired different types of tea as if he were planning to open a tea house.
A tea house in the Highlands was a laughable idea, but acquiring all those blends seemed to ease his guilt about his wife’s death in a twisted way.
And the ladies seemed to have broken into his secret stash to prepare their tea party without his consent.
“What do ye think ye are doing?” he asked when he stopped at the edge of their makeshift picnic, his voice laced with irritation.
“Why?” Violet asked, squinting up at him from beneath the brim of her hat.
She looked lovely today, almost too lovely to make him forget what he was angry about.
“We are having a tea party,” she added, eyeing him like he was a little slow for not knowing what a tea party was.
“Aye, I can see that,” he grunted. “What I daenae understand is why ye’re having a tea party here in the Highlands?”
“Don’t be so obtuse. One can have a tea party anywhere. Besides, Keira wanted to experience it.”
Keira nodded enthusiastically, watching him calmly.
“And ye thought it wise to take me tea set without me permission?” he gritted out.
“It is yours?” Violet asked, genuine surprise crossing her features.
“Keira offered to bring out her mother’s old tea set.
I thought she had inherited it from her.
I did not know you considered it yours. Well, come join us.
You have earned your place among us ladies simply because you so graciously gave us your tea set. ”
Her words were said with a smile, challenging him. He knew that she expected him to refuse, but he did not want to prove himself predictable. So he smiled in return.
“Thank ye, ladies,” he said with a bow, folding himself to take a seat on the blanket, enjoying the swiftness with which her confident smile vanished.
“Hurray!” Keira exclaimed with a clap of excitement. “What tea do ye want, Da?
“Chamomile, I think,” Violet murmured irritably. “He would need it to calm himself.”
Keira found that response funny and burst into laughter, and soon Violet and Grannie Ava joined in, sharing in her joy.
Watching them, Ruaridh realized that Violet had brought joy back into his family. It was just unfortunate that he could not make her as happy as she was in this moment that she shared with his daughter and grandmother.
But he was willing to try, however he could.