Chapter 24
“Ididnae realize how much despair I would feel on the morning of me departure,” Sienna said with a sigh, hugging Violet. “I will miss ye most desperately, me friend.”
“And I as well,” Violet returned, squeezing her just as tightly, with tears in her eyes.
Davina had left earlier as well, and she had done better to hold back her tears then. Now the grief she felt could not be shuttered.
She didn’t realize that she could develop a friendship with anyone so quickly, but over the few short days they had been acquainted, the bond between the three of them had deepened.
“I shall write ye as soon as I arrive,” Sienna promised, pulling away.
“And I shall wait with bated breath,” Violet said with a watery smile. “I am saddened you won’t attend the wedding. It would have been lovely to see you again.”
“I wouldnae have missed it for the world, but me braither ,and I must see to some pressing business, or else our clan would suffer for it come winter,” Sienna answered.
“If we are able to settle matters on time, perhaps we will extend an invitation, and ye could come visit us instead and tell me all about the ceremony.”
“Oh, that would be delightful,” Violet gushed.
“Will I be able to come as well?” Keira asked, approaching them with Ruaridh and Callum in tow.
“Aye, little one,” Callum answered. “I shall insist on it.”
The girl clapped excitedly.
There was an excited buzz as guests milled about, saying their final goodbyes, but there was also a tinge of sadness. Violet spotted a few wiping at their eyes, especially ladies in newfound romances.
When would they gather again to celebrate?
Already, a few had given her and Ruaridh their apologies, as they wouldn’t be able to attend the wedding, and she could understand. They needed to ensure the safety and smooth running of their clans. It wouldn’t do to travel so often.
Nonetheless, she would miss the hum that had settled over the castle. The transition back to a much less chaotic din would no doubt have them struggling for a few days.
Especially her.
She had never felt comfortable at parties back in London, as her station had made the ton look down at her from upturned noses.
Here, no one had mocked her station, and they hadn’t even cared about social status.
Lairds and ladies and clan members mingled freely with such ease that she had found herself abandoning propriety on more than one occasion, especially during dancing.
Tears pooled in her eyes again, but she blinked them back, not wanting to darken the happy conversation around her with her emotions. When she was in her chambers, she could mourn the absence of her newfound friends.
“Me Laird,” one of Callum’s men called. “We are ready to depart.”
A lump formed in Violet’s throat, and as if Sienna felt the same, they threw themselves into each other’s arms.
Their laughter was both happy and somber, and Violet felt Sienna’s tears wet her shoulders and knew hers were doing the same.
“I will miss ye terribly, Sienna,” she sniffled.
They broke apart, but their hands remained joined.
“And I as well.”
She sniffed and laughed softly. “It is weird to have formed such a bond so quickly.”
“I have always wanted a sister, so I understand how ye feel,” Sienna agreed with a smile.
“Daenae worry, Violet,” Callum interjected. “We will do everything we can to ensure ye and Keira visit as soon as possible.”
“I will hold ye to yer promise, Callum,” Violet warned playfully.
She watched him help his sister into the carriage and turned away to wipe at her eyes. She noted Ruaridh’s eyes on her and tried to put on a smile.
“It is all right to miss them,” he said softly.
“I know,” she mumbled. “It just feels hard.”
He nodded and held out his arm to her.
“Come, let us say farewell to the rest of the guests.”
She took his arm and let him lead her, pushing her grief down until she was alone, and she could mourn in solitude.
The rest of the goodbyes were said quickly, and as the horses and carriages crested the hill, a black cloud came over her like nothing she had ever felt.
It was a loss more profound than the one she had felt when she realized just how much her life would change with leaving London the way she had.
Even as they turned to go back into the castle, she couldn’t shake the feeling.
“Da, will Violet be all right?” Keira asked softly, coming to take his hand.
Ruaridh eyed his bride as she walked ahead of him, her shoulders slumped and her mood dark. He had watched her cry as she and Sienna hugged, and hadn’t known whether or not to comfort her, but now he was even more at a loss as to what to do.
He had been happy that she had found a friend in Sienna, but he hadn’t realized how much it would hurt her when their time together came to an abrupt end.
He didn’t like the stormy look that clouded her typically bright face, and even the concerned glances from his clansmen alerted him to the fact that he couldn’t let things go on this way.
“Keira, go and find Grannie Ava,” he told his daughter. “I will try to cheer Violet up.”
“Alright, Da,” Keira answered, before walking off towards the morning room, where he knew his grandmother was holding court.
Ruaridh hurried his steps to catch up to Violet, who turned briefly, surprised to see him, but continued walking. He stilled her with a hand on her arm.
“Come, lass,” he murmured. “I want to take ye somewhere.”
She raised a quizzical eyebrow at him. “Where?”
He tried for a small smile. “Ye’ll see.”
He knew she liked the loch where he had taught her to swim and decided that would be a good place to try to cheer her up. Though the memories of how their last swimming lesson had ended made his blood sing, he pushed it down and focused on keeping his steps light.
He didn’t risk glancing back at her until they were by the loch, and when the first cool draft blew the scent of the flora their way, he knew he had made the right decision.
He turned to her and noted how her eyes widened.
The scenery was indeed beautiful, as the early morning sun made all the colors of the surrounding greenery more vibrant. Even the otherwise grey water looked inviting in the morning light.
“I come here whenever anything upsets me,” he admitted, moving to take off his boots so he could sit by the water’s edge and dip his feet in the cool depths.
He held his breath, wondering if she would join him, and when he heard the rustle of fabric, he turned to see her taking off her shoes as well.
She joined him by the water’s edge, staring off into the distance.
“’Tis alright to mourn, Violet,” Ruaridh said softly, drawing her gaze to him. “But ye shouldnae let it consume ye so.”
She eyed him, watching the subtle shadow of grief in his eyes, and knew then that he had suffered a great loss as well.
“I don’t know how,” she admitted, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.
“’Tis nay easy feat, but if ye take time to admire the life and beauty around ye, it chases the darkness away one bit at a time.”
“You sound as though you have a lot of experience,” she joked softly, meeting his eyes.
His nod surprised her. Not because she didn’t know the answer already, but because she hadn’t expected him to admit it so readily.
“May I ask what happened?” she asked.
If he answered her, she would be even more surprised.
His suggestion to go to the loch because he noticed her sadness was out of character for him. Not shutting her out would only confirm that something had changed about their relationship, and she didn’t know how to feel about that.
Her heart began to race in anticipation as his eyebrows dipped in a frown, as though considering her request.
“I lost me parents when I was young,” he started, his tone gruff.
“And I had to become Laird early. It was gruelling work, and I made many mistakes, but I didnae even get time to mourn them as I should. I buried me feelings and worked at keeping the clan afloat. Nae long after, I married Keira’s maither. ”
He paused and swallowed.
She reached out her hand before she could stop herself and placed it over his. He eyed her hand before giving her a grateful nod.
“You don’t have to tell me,” she assured, even if she wanted to know.
She had never heard him talk so much, and now that he had mentioned Keira’s mother, her curiosity had reached its peak. She had not heard much about his first wife, and she thought it strange that no one had even told her about the woman.
“Her name was Mary,” he continued. “She was the daughter of the Laird of a neighboring clan, and we had Keira in our first year of marriage. We were nay great love story, but we were friendly. I…”
He swallowed, and Violet knew what he was about to say still hurt him to remember. She squeezed his hand, and he gave her a small smile.
“We were going to visit her cousin when we were ambushed by some English soldiers looking for sport,” he sighed. “Mary was killed, and I couldnae do anything to the men, so they escaped.”
“How old was Keira then?” she asked.
“Less than a year,” he answered.
Violet clapped a hand over her mouth. It was why the girl didn’t remember anything about her mother or even the incident.
Thank God. Violet didn’t want to imagine the trauma the poor girl would have had to carry had she witnessed her mother’s death.
She now understood Ruaridh’s hatred for the English and how frightened he must have been when he had learned Lord Westall had taken Keira. If he were any other man, she wasn’t sure she would have been treated so kindly.
“I am sorry,” she murmured. “You shouldn’t have suffered so much because of my people.”
“I have made me peace with it long ago,” he returned with a small smile. “I had to, for Keira’s sake.”
“And you’ve done a great job of it,” she praised.
He smiled almost shyly then.
Violet felt her heart warm at the sight of such a strange look on him. It wasn’t very often that she got to see such an assured man looking uncomfortable.