37. Chapter 37
Chapter 37
James
I ’d been pacing near the nurse’s station for nearly thirty minutes already, driving the staff crazy.
But I couldn’t help it—with the way the adrenaline was still pumping through me, there was no way I could sit still right now. I’d followed the ambulance all the way to DCH Hospital—blasting my horn at all the jackasses who refused to make space on the road to pass—terrified that we’d never make it.
And now that we had, time had slowed to a crawl, forcing me into a goddamned eternity of waiting for any fragment of news that might give me cause to breathe again.
Because she hadn’t looked good when they’d wheeled her through here. GiGi had still been unconscious, quieter than I’d ever known her to be. Paler, too. I still had no idea what had happened—all I knew was they were making me wait out here, wearing down a path on the laminate floor, as the doctors worked to figure it out.
Of course, that wasn’t the only thing I knew. But facing the reality that all of this was my fault wasn’t something I could deal with at the moment, when everything was falling apart. Finding a way to make things right with my grandmother would have to come after.
And the only ‘after’ I’d accept would be the one where GiGi pulled through this ok.
Because if I lost her too, I’d never be able to forgive myself. Ever.
One agonizing hour later, Nurse Lynette led me back to her room in the ICU. She was the mother of one of the younger guys I’d worked with at Aaronson Construction—a very nice lady whom I still ran into around town from time to time. It helped to have a familiar face, even when I was at my worst.
When we walked in and I saw GiGi lying there, tubes and wires criss-crossing their way in and out of her from various machines, the steady whirring and beeping noises emitting from them screaming, ‘ You almost lost her’, it was all I could do not to break down. Even as a boy, I’d rarely cried. Apparently, it was only reserved for the women that I loved.
Approaching the bed after Lynette excused herself to answer a page, I at least found comfort in the fact that GiGi had more color to her now—thanks in part to the bruise on her forehead. But overall, she looked smaller, more fragile than I was used to seeing her. I lowered myself into the chair next to her, half expecting my grandmother to pop up with one of her sassy one-liners, telling me to wipe the frown off my face—truth was, I would’ve given anything for it.
Her eyes, however, remained closed, her voice silent. She was breathing, though, and her heart was pumping. So she was safe—for now.
But I couldn’t breathe. Not just yet.
I heard footsteps coming up behind me, and a kind-looking man—maybe a decade older than me at most—approached the foot of the bed, extending a hand. “You must be James. I’m Dr. Addison, and I’ve been taking care of your grandmother.”
Rising halfway from my seat to shake his hand, I nodded. “Thanks, Doc. How’s she doing? And do you know what happened?”
“Well, Georgia appears to have had a TIA, or a Transient Ischemic Attack. Basically, a mini-stroke. But it appears that she passed out from hitting her head on the way down, rather than the stroke. Her MRI, however, looks good. Mostly just surface bruising.”
“Thank God. Why isn’t she awake?”
“We’re just keeping her under mild sedation for the time being, nothing to worry about there.”
Looking at her lying there on the bed, I was finding it difficult to do anything but worry. “So why did this happen in the first place?”
“Well, because of her heart disease, of course.” The way he said it was so matter-of-fact, I knew I was the last one to be let in on this news.
“GiGi has… heart disease?”
“I’ve actually been seeing Georgia for this issue for over a year now, working on her risk factors and the lifestyle changes she needed to make.” Dr. Addison frowned. “I’m sorry. I assumed she had told you.”
I felt the fist in my gut clench tighter. “No. She hasn’t told me anything.”
With a sigh, Dr. Addison pulled out her chart from the pocket at the end of her bed, doing a quick review of her information. “Well, my guess is she hasn’t been implementing any of the changes I’d recommended, either. Hopefully this will be her wake-up call to get serious about it.” He glanced over at me with a slight grimace. “She was lucky this time, especially since you were close by. She shouldn’t have any long-term damage from her TIA. But it could happen again, or something much worse… if Georgia doesn’t start making her health a priority.”
I could feel my own head starting to hurt, thinking again of how I could have lost her. Why had she been so fucking stubborn and not told me about any of this? “Got it. I’ll make sure she does.”
“Good. We’ll keep her resting until morning. And assuming she’s doing ok, I imagine we’ll be able to discharge her by the end of tomorrow.”
I nodded. “Thanks, Doc.”
Dr. Addison replaced her chart, resting a hand on my shoulder as he made his way out. “Georgia is one of my favorite patients—definitely feisty, but she’s a smart woman. As long as she starts making some adjustments, she should do ok.” After a quick smile, he left the room as a familiar voice rang out behind me.
“You just can’t find anything better to do with your time than hang out at hospitals, huh?”
Jack appeared next to me with two to-go cups of coffee, handing me one of them before dragging over a second wooden chair.
“How’d you know I was here?”
“You know how things work in this town. One of the nurses is good friends with Tara and let her know you guys were here, and then Jesse texted me right after.” He shrugged. “Besides, GiGi’s an institution around here—everyone probably knew within five minutes of your arrival, anyway.”
Shaking my head, I took a sip from my cup—knowing my friend was absolutely right. “Thanks for this, man.”
“Of course. I couldn’t let you sit here all alone, drinking shitty hospital coffee. Serious moments call for Steamy Beanies’ dark roast,” he said with a wink, referring to the coffee spot on the other side of the lake.
“You know what I mean. Being here and everything.”
Jack’s face grew serious now as he gave a brief nod. “Not even a question. You and GiGi are family, probably more than my own.” There was no joking between us now—both likely thinking back on countless times in the past where we’d each gone through shit. But like true brothers, we’d had each other’s back every time. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for Jack and Jesse or their families. And I was grateful to have it reciprocated.
Because with the way things seemed to be going over the last forty-eight hours, I knew I’d need their support now more than ever.
“By the way, Jesse said he’ll try to stop by in the morning to check in. Tara wasn’t feeling the best tonight, so he wanted to stick close.”
“Is it the baby?”
Jack shook his head. “No… sounds like she was just dealing with some bad heartburn or something.”
“I’ll bet Jesse was trying out a new recipe on her again.”
“Probably.”
We smiled at each other for a moment before Jack continued. “I caught the tail end of your conversation with the doctor. How are you feeling about all of that?”
“Honestly? I don’t know. I mean, I’m relieved that it looks like she’ll pull through this ok. But I’m also pissed that she kept the fact that she has heart disease from me for an entire fucking year and didn’t seem to be doing anything to take better care of herself in the meantime.” I looked down at the paper cup I held in my hands, tracing the Steamy Beanies logo with my thumb. “What if she…” But I choked on the words, not able to find it in me to finish the statement. Almost like saying them out loud might give them more power, willing them into existence.
“I know. GiGi’s a tough woman… she’ll have to start listening to her doctor, so you know she’ll grumble about that. But the world’s not done with her yet.” Jack’s eyes were kind. “Have you talked to Lizzie yet?”
Lizzie. I’d thought about texting her a million times over the past hour—shit, even before the ambulance arrived. But her last message was still twisting around in my mind— ‘Figuring some things out. I’ll be back.’ So I didn’t know if I should.
“James. I know something happened between the two of you the other night, but… she’d want to know.”
Finally, I raised my eyes from my coffee cup, no longer surprised at my friend’s ability to read my mind. “Yeah, maybe.”
“There’s no ‘maybe’ about it. You love her. And Jesse and I agree, it’s pretty obvious she loves you. Despite you being a stubborn ass half the time.”
“The love in this room is overwhelming.” But still, there was that word again. Love.
Is this what love felt like?
Jack chuckled, but his eyes remained serious. “You know, I still ask myself all the time if I should’ve fought harder for Dana when she ended things. Maybe it wouldn’t have changed a damn thing. But at least I’d have known that I tried everything.” Glancing briefly at GiGi, he leaned closer. “We only get one chance to live this life, man. And even though you’ve been dealt a lot of shit throughout yours, don’t let the past hold you back from being happy now. Trust me, you’ll regret it.” Giving me a pat on the arm, he did a scan around the room. “Now, let’s see where we can wrangle some pillows.”
My eyes widened. “What, you planning to stay or something?”
He grinned. “Of course. Can’t leave you here to your own devices. And besides,” he said, with a quick glance towards the door, “there’s a cute nurse on duty tonight.”
Shaking my head, I chuckled. “‘Course there is.” But we both left the real reason unsaid. After all these years, it didn’t need to be. That’s how it was with the family you choose.
After securing a pillow and a blanket each from Nurse Lynette, we sat there together in companionable silence, the soft whooshing of oxygen matching our own breathing. And I couldn’t help but think how grateful I was that GiGi would be ok. But even more so, how tired I was of being held captive to my bitterness.
With Lizzie, I could let go and feel happy. Maybe that’s what mattered, more than anything else.