45. Chapter 45
Chapter 45
Lizzie
INDI: DEARIE GIRLS WEEKEND STARTS IN 24 HOURS!!!!
JULES: Eeeek!! My flight gets in at noon tomorrow. Brookie, you still picking me up to carpool?? And can we still swing by B ) Can’t believe it’s finally happening!
LIZZIE: (The weekend, not the sex. The latter was well-earned.)
I was sitting on the dock with my cup of coffee late morning, enjoying the break in heat we’d been having. Wide awake at dawn, I’d spent the past several hours writing at my desk, the words flowing through my fingers almost faster than I could type them. After being creatively stuck—and floundering in general—for so long, this felt nothing short of a miracle.
I had to credit it in part to my grandmother. I’d finally made my peace with her late last night when I decided to read the farewell letter Mitchum had passed along to me days ago. “Dearest — Do you remember that day at the cabin, when the rain was falling so hard that we both thought the roof might very well cave in on us? It was both exciting and terrifying, yet so life-giving after the long drought we’d been having. I can’t help but think now how closely that afternoon mirrors the path we’ve taken together. When we met, I felt like I was losing myself. I didn’t know my purpose or what came next. I was desperately lonely and disillusioned, and selfishly believed I was unloved as well. Then you came along, and I felt wanted again. Loved. Alive. And a part of me never wanted it to end. But the woman in me has realized, it must…”
I folded the letter, no longer feeling the need to re-read Grandma Cora’s words for the millionth time. She’d said her piece and made the choices that were right for her and everyone involved. And she’d done everything she could to atone for her mistakes.
But she’d never needed my forgiveness. Instead, I’d been the one sending silent apologies up to the heavens, praying she could hear me.
I’d spent my entire life idolizing my grandmother—the one who knew me better than anyone. But it turns out, I was so busy looking for a role model that I hadn’t bothered to really see who she was, deep down. Instead, I’d molded her into something unrealistic, like a false idol. Or maybe she’d let me, because she knew it was what I needed when life became too hard to face reality. To believe in a perfect love.
Like she also had with Mitchum, so long ago.
But Cora was just a woman, with plenty of life lived before I ever came along. Making mistakes along the way was part of being human. And I’d made plenty of my own.
But we’d both been blessed with far more in our lives than I’d ever recognized. Maybe it took ending the search for perfection for me to see it all clearly. That loss wasn’t just about the losing; it was about what you do with what gets left behind.
And once I realized I was done living in regret, the words began to appear for me again. It was the moment I knew the story I needed to tell.
It wasn’t just about my grandparents or the affair with Mitchum. There was some of my story in there as well—-how life and love can be both messy and beautiful. It was fiction, but at the heart of it was truth .
It was the story I was meant to write. And after everything, I finally felt like I was exactly where I was meant to be, doing exactly what I was meant to do, in the place where I belonged.
And by my side was the man I was always meant to love—imperfect, but perfect for me .
“Hey, Lizzie girl… you look like you’re dreaming up something good down here.”
My head popped up at the voice, realizing I’d been so stuck in my thoughts that I hadn’t even noticed GiGi making her way down to my dock. I couldn’t help but recall that morning so long ago when it had been her grandson sneaking up on me. I smiled at the memory and at her.
“Good morning. How’d you sleep last night?”
She waved me away. “Oh, just fine. You and James kept me up a little later than I’m used to these days, though. I still think he cheated in the last round of Skip-Bo.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, she looked so disgruntled. By now I knew her grumpiness was a form of love, and it made me love her all the more. Thank God she had come through her mini stroke without much for long-term effects, other than fatigue. But even still, both James and I had been keeping a close eye on her. I could only imagine how delighted she’d be when she heard he was moving in next door—but I was saving that one for him.
Then I noticed she was holding what looked to be a small book. “So, are you planning to do some reading down here, too? You’re welcome to join me.”
“No… just coming to give you something I should have a few weeks ago.” She handed the book to me, with no words on the front cover—but when I opened it, I spotted my grandmother’s name. “The Diary of Cora Olsson - 1965-1967”
My eyes darted back to GiGi’s, who was watching my reaction with a sad smile. “Cora asked me to keep this safe until the day you were ready for her version of the story. I’d say we’ve arrived there, don’t you?”
I nodded, my vision blurring as I stood to give her a hug. Georgia LaMott was known for her feist and her strength—-but only a chosen few knew the vast capacity she had within her for love.
Releasing her slowly, I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. “Thank you for this… and for everything.”
“Of course, love,” she said, touching my cheek tenderly. “You’re mine now too, y’know. And family looks out for one another.”
And before I could say anything more, I heard the sound of a car honking—spotting Indi as she hopped out of her car with Bucky. She and Callum had been watching him for me for the past two weeks, with everything else that had been going on—which Callum hoped was more of a trial run for their own dog someday. I knew my boy had been in great hands.
But that didn’t stop him from barrelling down the lawn at full speed, nearly knocking me into the lake as he put his paws against my chest to kiss-attack my face. As I giggled under the assault, GiGi couldn’t help but laugh as well.
“I’ll leave you ladies to it… Oh, and have fun this weekend. Don’t worry about keeping the noise down on my account. It’s about time that cabin of yours was filled to the brim withlove and laughter again.” Then, with a wink, she wandered back up the slope towards her own cabin just as Indi made her way towards me and Bucky scampered back up to his favorite spot on the covered patio.
“Sorry I’m early… but frankly, I just couldn’t wait another second,” she said, grinning. “And I figured you could use the help anyway before the rest show up.”
Giving her a quick hug, I smiled as I looped my arm through hers. “There’s no one I’d rather kick this weekend off with than you, darling.”
And for a moment, as we strode up that hill in unison, I felt like we were thirteen again—full of excitement and hope for what came next.
By six o’clock, everyone had arrived—even the brigade from the cities, who came with far more luggage than necessary for a girl’s cabin weekend. Not that anyone was surprised.
Now the wine had been poured, food spread out and the music playing, courtesy of Brooke’s Dearie Girls’ mix. I just sat there taking it all in—the newness of the cabin combined with elements of the past, surrounded with the familiarity of this group of women, whose bond only made sense to each other.
It felt like old times and yet, not at all. It was part of the beauty of the Dearie Girls. We continued fostering our friendships together through the years—through all the highs and lows, regardless of where our paths may have taken us. It was a rare thing, what we had. And I would never take it for granted.
As Brooke and Indi began their annual dance off while Kait and Lena worked in the kitchen, I sank onto the couch between Jules and Tess. “God, I’ve missed you two. I hate it when so much time passes.”
“Me too, sweetie.” Jules threw an arm around me to give me a squeeze, the scent of her perfume hinting at a sophistication that only existed on the surface. Beneath all of the glamor that came along with being an A-list Hollywood star, she was still the same Jules underneath it all—kind, goofy, sensitive and down-to-earth. “It’s so good to be back. Especially here.”
“That just means you need to get back more often,” I said, playfully poking her in the side. “Are you planning to see your family while you’re back in Minnesota?”
She hesitated before shrugging. To call Jules’ relationship with her ultra-conservative parents and pastor brother complicated would be putting it mildly. “Who knows. Crazier things have happened, right?”
“Well, just know you can hide out here for as long as you want. At least until the paparazzi hunt you down.”
She took a sip from her wine glass, half-smiling. “Don’t tempt me.”
Tess had been mostly quiet since she’d arrived, and as the chaos and laughter rang out around us now, I turned to study her face. She was staring at her wine glass, swirling the contents and looking as though her mind was far away. I nudged her with my elbow. “I missed you too, you know. What will it take to get you up here a little more often?”
Tearing her eyes away from her glass, she smirked. “What, and have to deal with my parents? Maybe we should take a trip somewhere instead.” She sighed. “You know, just… get away from everything.”
I eyed her curiously, but before I could say more, she stood up. “Ladies, we need our toast to kick off the weekend. Everyone grab a glass.” She turned to me. “Would you like to do the honors?”
Amused, I picked up my glass as Brooke turned down the music, the others wandering over as well. “Um, ok.” I looked around at these women, trying to think of the perfect words to say. Then I realized—they already knew the most important ones. “Seventeen years ago, I was an awkward thirteen-year-old, struggling to figure out who I was. That was the summer I found all of you, and it changed my life.” I took a deep breath, then continued. “But I don’t think I ever really felt settled in who I was, until now. I was struggling to keep up, to rebound from everything that had happened, and to trust in myself. When Grandma Cora gave me this cabin, it felt like my chance at a fresh start. But I had no idea how much it would change me for the better.” By now, my vision was blurring—but this time, these were happy tears. “So I guess what I want to say is, I’m grateful. For this place, for all of you, for love… and for finally finding my purpose.” I dragged a knuckle beneath my eye to stop a tear from falling, then started laughing. “Ok, enough of weepy Lizzie. Who’s next?”
“I’ll go,” Tess said, wrapping an arm around my back. ““I’m grateful to have your love. I don’t know what I would do without all of you. You’re the family I never knew I needed.”
Brooke smiled. “My turn. I’m grateful for this weekend with my sisters, wine and elastic waistband pants.”
“Oh God, yes. To all of that,” Jules said, laughing. “Oh, and K bars. Except I can’t stop eating them… they’re like crack. Please, somebody hide the rest.”
Lena giggled as well. “I’ll have my mom drop off another pan. But I’m thankful for a business that gives me freedom, and all of you, who accept me as I am.”
“Same for me on the business front… the Beaver has never been thirstier,” Kait said, with a snort of laughter as Lena groaned. “But I love you all. These friendships are what keep me sane. Well, mostly.”
“And I’m grateful for the generous hearts of every single person here, and all the ways we show it to one another,” Indi said, her eyes locking with mine.
Suddenly, a knock at the door made all of us jump. For a moment, nobody did anything. And then I remembered— oh yeah, I live here.
But nothing could’ve prepared me for what was waiting on the other side of that door.
“ Mariah? And… Norah? What are you two doing here?”
My sister gave me a thinly-lipped smile. “I’ll explain in a moment. Is it ok if Norah hangs out with your friends for a bit so we can talk?”
“Oh sure, come on in, sweetie,” Indi said, coming up from behind me to take my niece’s hand in hers. Norah glanced back at her mother briefly, who nodded. Indi smiled. “It’s ok, Lizzie, go on.”
With a quick, grateful look, I closed the door, leading my sister down to the Adirondack chairs around the firepit for privacy. She was quiet for a moment as we sat there together, looking out upon Lake Elska. And even though part of my mind was inside that cabin, I couldn’t help but feel transported back to fifteen years ago, sitting here with my sister. Then finally, she spoke. “I’m sorry for ignoring your calls all summer.”
“Well, thanks for admitting to it, at least.”
She gave me a small smile. “I know it’s time I stopped avoiding things. That’s part of why I had to come here, to tell you in person.” Leaning her head back against her chair, she sighed. “I was so angry that day in the lawyer’s office, but it wasn’t really about you or Ethan. This cabin was special to me too, but it hurt so much to come here after Dad died. It hurt to be around all of you, actually. Everything was a reminder. That’s why I had to leave, to switch schools.”
I looked at her. “And it’s why you never come back home to Minnesota.”
She nodded. “It’s stupid, I know…. A thirty-three year old woman, avoiding her life.”
“Well… I don’t think I’d call it ‘stupid’ . Relatable, maybe.” I shrugged. “But Mariah, we all wanted to be here for you, to be a part of your life. It felt like you just… wanted to forget about everything.”
“Maybe I did. Not that it worked.” She smiled ruefully. “I’ve missed so much, especially with you and Ethan. And losing Mom and Grandma… I just didn’t think we could bounce back from that.”
“You didn’t lose me or Ethan, ok? We love you… even when you irritate the crap out of us.”
That, at least, got a laugh out of her, the first I’d heard in years. “I deserved that. Anyway, about that day at the lawyer’s office… I felt… betrayed, I guess. By Grandma Cora. I had kept her secret for so long, and then hearing about the cabin… it all felt like too much.”
“Wait… hold on a second. What do you mean, you kept her secret?”
Her eyes darted over to mine briefly, then away again. “I know about the affair. And that Grandpa Walter was not Mom’s biological father.”
“What!? How did you know?”
“I overheard her and Mom arguing when we were all here one weekend. I was around fourteen, maybe? Apparently, Mom had found her diary under a loose floorboard. Grandma Cora admitted to everything.”
It felt like my brain was going to explode. “So you held onto this all these years and never told me?”
She shrugged. “The two of you were so close. I didn’t want to ruin anything for you. And besides, they never knew I’d overheard them. I figured it was just better for everyone if I said nothing. And when Grandpa Walter passed away, then Dad… there was no point in bringing up the past.”
“Mariah… I’m so sorry.”
“For what?”
“For you having to deal with this all on your own. It wasn’t fair.” I sighed. “I think I’ve been angry with you for leaving and changing. But I guess we all have, in our own ways.”
“I’m sorry too, for not being here… and shutting you out. But I never stopped loving the two of you. You’re… all that I have.”
I smiled at her. “We love you, too. And I’m so glad you came here to tell me this, but…”
“... it’s Dearie Girls weekend. I sort of figured that one out. It’s ok… I can get a hotel.”
“How long are you staying in town? Everyone leaves Sunday morning, and I want to spend time with you and Norah while you’re still here.”
“In town? Um… indefinitely.”
“Say what now?”
“I left Brad. I just… couldn’t do it anymore. That life. It was killing me. Ted was the final straw.”
“Ted?”
“His personal assistant. Oh, and his lover for the past three years.”
“Jesus Christ, Mariah.”
“Yeah.”
“And poor Norah…”
“That’s why I knew I had to leave when I did. I want her to have not just a normal childhood but a happy one. And what better place than this? But don’t worry, we’re not moving in. I’ve already been scouting out houses.” She turned again to gaze out at the lake. “It feels good to be home, though, doesn’t it?”
I’d never pictured myself here again with my sister, finally feeling like I had her back again. Maybe that was always the way our story was meant to turn out.
And maybe, the rest was just waiting to be written.
“Thanks for doing this.” James and I were standing together on the porch as Mariah loaded Norah back into her rental car behind the cabin. After a quick reintroduction, he was now taking the two of them back to his place for the weekend.
“Happy to do it. Besides, I need to get in good with your sister anyway, before we drop the bomb that we’ll soon be shacking up together,” he said, winking.
“Something tells me she won’t be pulling out a shotgun anytime soon,” I said, laughing. “Although she does own some very pointy stilettos.”
He chuckled. “Noted. Now, come here…”
He pulled me in for a kiss as I heard the catcalls sound from inside the cabin. All that did was to spur him on as he drew out our kiss even longer—and God, I could kiss this man forever.
And as my friends grew louder and more obnoxious, I struggled to hold in my giggles—along with the overwhelming urge to just pull my hot boyfriend into my bedroom for a quickie.
Seriously, it’s impossible for a girl to get any damn privacy around here.
But what did I expect, moving to a small town like Dearing Creek?
Certainly not privacy—much less finding love or a life that felt perfect. After all, I no longer cared about things like perfection.
But somehow I’d ended up there, all the same.