Chapter 24
SPENCER
Iswipe my palm across my face in the hope of rubbing off my exhaustion. After April asked for her space, I gave it to her by heading straight to a hotel. It was two glasses of bourbon before I attempted to sleep and that didn’t really happen.
Now I’m staring at a plate of bacon and eggs, but all I want to do is throw it against a wall.
A hard knock against my hotel room door is maybe welcome, even though it’s not April. “Open up.” Ford is on the other side.
I walk to the door to open it and immediately walk back to the sofa in my lounge area. “What are you doing here?”
“I always stay in this hotel after a game, you know that. Plus, you sent a Ford, I think I fucked up text at midnight. I was asleep and need to head to a team meeting later this morning, but I thought I would kill two birds with one stone, so pass me the bacon and tell me what’s going on.
” He doesn’t even wait, he just takes my plate of food off the cart that room service brought in.
Kicking up my feet, I lie back on the sofa and take a bottle of water with me. “It’s kind of a big deal or not. I mean, hopefully, April wakes up and realizes it’s a minor thing. I kind of delayed telling her when the video situation was under control, and she’s pissed.”
“Why on earth would you do that?” Ford is busy chomping on a piece of crispy bacon.
“Okay, I admit that it doesn’t go down as one of my finer moments, but I guess something inside of me wanted her to stay before the rest of me caught up. I thought she wouldn’t stay otherwise.”
It’s kind of sweet, surely she must see that.
Ford throws an orange at me, and I’m quick to catch.
“Vitamin C, man. You have a kid, and they bring home bugs along with their adorable little smiles. While this is probably something your best man at your wedding may joke about… you literally made her think someone might leak the tape of you two longer than needed. She should strangle you.”
“Shit.” I growl, as his words are not reassuring. “She also mentioned how she hates lies.”
“Kind of goes hand in hand.”
“I let her down, I know. But I want to lay everything on the table, and she wouldn’t even let me finish.”
Ford shakes some pepper onto his eggs. “Do you know what is also interesting about this situation?”
“Tell me, oh wise one, who still pines for his ex from ten years ago.” I give him side-eye.
He offers me a stiff fake smile before continuing. “You want to lay everything on the table because you feel a lot for her.”
“Fuck, really?” I say, sarcastic. “Because that wasn’t obvious.”
“Geez, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I’m just saying that maybe you should start by telling her that and then confessing whatever else you have going on in your head.” Now he is onto buttering a piece of toast.
For one second, I wonder how his physique is long and trim when he eats like that, then remind myself he burns off a hell of a lot of calories on the ice. My temporary distracting thought, I shake away.
“Well, now I have to find a way to see her again. I texted her this morning, and I’m getting classic April again.”
I glance at my phone to give myself another dose of agony when I re-read the messages.
Me
Hey, I really want to talk about last night. Can I come over? Maybe I can grab breakfast from that place you like on my way?
April
No. I didn’t sleep well. Had a strange nightmare then woke to realize that it’s reality, and now I need to find spells to curse your team next season.
Okay then. I’ll wait for our next chat.
Yeah, you do that.
Throwing my phone to the side, I pop my lips and rub my forehead again.
“I don’t want to show up out of the blue because she did ask for space, and besides, I need to head back to Lake Spark for Hadley.”
“Then I’m sure you will find a way to get her to come to Lake Spark.”
“Maybe.”
A long silence hits us, and I take the moment to walk to the cart and pour myself a cup of coffee. I inhale the scent to make me more alert, not that it will change anything.
“I’ve never seen you invested,” Ford speaks up.
I grab a croissant from the breadbasket. “What do you mean?”
“In a woman, in creating a family. That’s what you're doing, by the way.”
My jaw flexes side to side. “Shouldn’t that scare me more?”
Ford stands up and confidently smirks. “Nah, as long as you love her because it’s her, not because she is a mom substitute to Hadley.
When a kid is involved then you need to close your eyes, and as horrible as it sounds, if you can imagine yourself in the future in a scene without a child, then is that woman still with you? And if it’s a yes, then she’s the one.”
I study him for a few ticks. I know he is speaking from experience. “Yet sometimes you have to let them lead the way and let them go if that makes them happy.”
Ford licks his lips and thinks for a beat. “No. You may work with their timeline, but you strike when you need to because letting them go isn’t an option.” He flashes his eyes at me before giving me a wave with his two fingers on his way out the door.
I give him one nod, but mostly just stand there recalling his words, and I couldn’t agree more.
Walking into my living room, I find my mother reading a magazine with a country house on the cover. She glances up at me but seems to be more interested in the article. “Hey there, how was the game with April?”
I laugh nervously to myself and fall onto the sofa next to my mother. “We kind of… you know what, never mind.”
My mother tosses her magazine to the side and focuses her attention on me. “Disagreement or ending?”
“I hope disagreement,” I admit.
She loudly exhales. “Over what?”
“The truth.” My words cut the air in the room into two, if that were possible.
My mother doesn't blink as she stares with concern. I’m quick to reassure her. “Not that. Something else, totally unrelated.”
She curls her lips in, debating what to say. “Fixable?”
“I think so. I'm just giving her some space.” I look around for a sign of Hadley. “She’s in her playroom?”
“Yes, enjoying the life you have given her, living like a princess with that ballet barre in her playroom.” She touches my arm.
“You know… eventually you will meet someone whom you want to share a life with, but to do that you need to be completely open with them… I get that.” I hear the sadness in her voice.
Because this situation affects her too, in a way that we rarely discuss. That’s not what the Crews family does. We do, we act, and move on.
“I’m going to tell April the truth,” I confirm.
My mother’s eyes water, and she squeezes my arm. “Then she must be the one.” The line of her mouth stretches, and she blinks a few times, as if she is gathering herself.
“To my surprise, yes,” I attempt to add humor to this situation.
“Surprises are what make our life path,” she reminds me. We both understand and give one another a confirming look. Her head indicates to the wall. “The photos of you and Hadley are beautiful, a wonderful image of father and daughter.”
“I think so too.”
She stands and resumes her unaffected demeanor.
“Hadley only had a snack, so she will be hungry soon. This babysitter situation is taking a little longer than we all anticipated, but I’m sure we’ll continue to make it work.
And I keep finding dog hair everywhere. Really, ask the cleaner to look into one of those pet-friendly sweeper things. ”
“Ma.” I stand up as I attempt to stop her list. She looks at me with her full attention. “I’m allowed to have someone in my life, right?”
She touches my cheek as if I’m still a boy. “Of course, you are. Now just make sure you don’t lose her.”
“That’s the plan,” I promise.