Chapter 6
brIELLE
Back and forth.
That’s all I have been doing for the past few minutes, tossing the small black box between my fingers.
Enraged is what I should feel. Ford tricked me and then dropped a bombshell proposition.
But, well, I’m not that furious. Or am I?
I stormed upstairs to one of the spare bedrooms. I’m growing slightly irritated that the designer did a good job, I can’t deny that. This room is fresh with white, except for one accent wall of turquoise with matching throw pillows on the white bed.
I flop onto the mattress, blow out a long breath, and am thankful that Ford is outside with Hudson and Spencer, as it buys me time. I drop the ring box onto the mattress so I can pull out my phone which barely fits in my back pocket. Scrolling the screen, I hit Lena’s name for a video call.
She picks up after two rings.
“Hey! How’s the getaway?” She smiles, and it looks like she’s at her desk in her home office, as her hand seems busy with a computer mouse.
“Something has happened. Something bad. Like, really bad.”
Lena sits up and abandons the mouse. “Is everyone okay? Connor?”
“Connor is fine. Probably having a great time. Long story short, but Connor isn’t here.”
“What?”
“Ford extended his camp for another week, and he is staying with his aunt. As much as I want to strangle Ford for doing that without consulting me, I know that Connor wanted to. Anyway, that is the least of our worries.”
“How so? Ford completely made a parenting decision without you.”
I shake off the notion. “It’s Ford, he would never do anything he thought wasn’t in Connor’s interests, and besides, the camp is run by Ford’s team, and he helps out, so he can check in on Connor a few times this week.”
“You are far more chill than I would be.”
“That would be because it’s only the icing on the cake.” I hold up my finger to pause her while Lena looks at me in anticipation. “Ford wants me to stay here this week… to… reevaluate our situation.”
Her eyes grow big. “Didn’t see that coming.” She brings her fingers to her chin in contemplation. “Or did I? Hmmm… yeah, saw it coming.” Lena grabs her water bottle for a drink.
“He got me an engagement ring.”
She spits out her water. “Huh?”
I have to smile to myself because it’s such a Ford thing to do, go a step too far if he knows it will make me smile. “I mean, it’s kind of for pretend. He just wants to make Margo happy.” Except I saw the conviction in Ford’s eyes, and the ring feels like part of his long game.
“Okay, so what are you doing then? I mean, why didn’t you get back in your car and drive back to Hollows?”
“I promised I would see Margo tomorrow.”
“And tonight you will just…” She draws it out.
I sigh and roll to my back. “That’s the problem. I’m under the same roof as Ford, and he threw one hell of an offer at me. I’ve been programmed to ignore whatever we left behind, but...”
A sly smile forms on Lena’s mouth. “Brielle, I don’t think you ever left behind the connection between you and Ford.”
“Doesn’t mean I should jump into bed with him.”
“Is that what he’s expecting?”
“I mean, he didn’t say it as such, but I just kind of—”
Lena interrupts. “Assumed, because your subconscious has a fantasy it wants to play out.”
I flop like a pancake to my stomach and attempt to defend my thoughts. “Do not judge me for noticing he has aged well. I mean, he literally has women throwing themselves at him, I would be blind to pretend otherwise.”
She chuckles at me. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. What if we crash and burn again? It’s taken ten years to get over him.”
“You never got over him,” she corrects me.
Lena is keeping me in check, damn it.
“This isn’t some guy who I lost my virginity to and then see him again at a high school reunion. It’s Ford. He’s the father of our child, the man I see on a regular basis.”
“He could also be the man whom you are missing an opportunity with.”
I snort a sound because that’s the joke of life on me. “I think that’s what scares me the most. What if it’s everything I imagined and then some? It’ll be a reminder that for the last ten years I didn’t have that.”
Lena clicks her tongue and smacks her lips out then back. “Good thing we don’t go back in time then, we go forward.”
I think for a few seconds. “Maybe. Anyhow, I should go. I have to deal with this.” I hold up the ring box.
“You’re going to wear it?”
“Haven’t even opened the box, only stared at it.”
“Keep me posted, but I am going to assume if I need to send you a letter that your address is in Lake Spark for the coming week, perhaps eternity.” She flashes her eyes at me.
I don’t answer, and we say goodbye.
Tossing the box onto the bed, I decide I can’t hide in here forever. Walking out of the room and into the hall, the corner of my mouth curls up when I see Connor’s room.
Walking to the door of his bedroom, I stand in awe.
It’s not over the top, nor too childish.
There is a double bed with a navy-blue duvet, hockey sticks are hanging on the wall, and there is a desk with a globe and shelf of books.
I know there isn’t a game system here, partly because Ford and I agreed on no games or computers in Connor’s bedroom, and also, I know Ford wants the game console in the living room because he loves to play just as much as Connor.
Most of all, I notice that this room is perfect because Connor is no longer a little child.
Soon he will be heading into pre-teen life, then worse, the teenage years.
It also means he is more aware, and we can talk in a more transparent way with our son.
Ah hell, Connor would be on to Ford and me in a heartbeat, even if he doesn’t tell us.
And I can’t figure out if that’s a positive or negative. Better yet, why am I contemplating Ford’s offer?
“You approve?” Ford’s voice startles me. His hands settle on my shoulders to assure me that all is okay, or at least in this room. Everything else is still a toss-up. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”
I slowly turn and come face to face with Ford. “It’s okay, just admiring the room. You really made it a home.”
“Thanks. Ten is a hard age to decorate for. I’m lucky I hired a designer.”
I nod once, unsure why I’m now calm when not long ago my body was riled.
Now I’m just warm and overwhelmed because his eyes are on me, dipping down to stare at my mouth.
I step back into the hall to get us out of Connor’s room; I don’t want to taint his space with the discussion that’s about to happen.
But no words come out of my mouth. Instead, I stand there with my hands in my back pockets, and I try to avoid staring into Ford’s eyes.
“Have you thought about it?”
Quickly, I glance up and then back down. “There is nothing to think about. It’s ridiculous.”
I do my best to escape, and I head straight for the stairs, but Ford grabs my arm so I don’t get far. In fact, I’m now closer.
To him.
His breath.
His scent.
Those eyes that hold me every single time.
“It’s not. Elle, we’ve been doing a damn good job with keeping our promise, but only on the surface.”
My eyes shoot up to lock with his because he pretty much nailed down my theory too.
“It doesn’t mean that we should have a week of fun to bury our curiosity.”
Ford is quick to step forward. Our mouths are now inches apart, and he hasn’t let my arm go. “I’m not talking about fun. This is a little more. We have some truths to tell and lost time to make up for. Fun is what you do when there’s no history, no future. You and I already have half of that.”
“We also have parenting together.”
“And we’re more than just parents. We deserve more,” he is quick to counter. I shake my head gently, and Ford hooks his finger under my chin, guiding my gaze to him. “Let me prove to you that we can have it all. It’s our time.”
“No pressure or anything,” I retort.
It earns me a grin from Ford. “I’ve already taken the step to possibly make this fucking awkward between us because I’ve made it clear what I want to try. So you might as well make the leap.”
“It’s a big leap.” I stare blankly at him, wondering why my body still feels so incredibly comfortable in this situation.
“I don’t do small for anything.” The innuendo is there, and I snort a laugh.
He nuzzles his nose against mine as he lets my arm go and instead opts to rest his hand on my waist.
“Oh, I know. You got a ring,” I reply.
“Which you haven’t given back. You’re considering this week.” His voice goes soft and raspy.
“So many thoughts are floating in my head. How convenient is the timing, huh? Only when we both seem to have gotten what we wanted.”
“It’s not like I’m bored and thought ‘oh let me fuck up my co-parenting arrangement with the only woman I ever want to share kids with.’ It’s that I know you’ve almost achieved your goals and my career is over.
Everything that caused that promise is no longer a trigger for us to pretend that we were able to move on. ”
We are one and the same. His words could literally fall off my tongue except I’m not brave enough to speak them. Lucky for us, Ford woke up determined today.
I lean my head to the side, attempting to get an extra inch or two between us, although the damage has already been done. I’m completely affected by this man.
On second thought, I slant my head back to him and bring my palms to his face, as if I’m going to be bold and kiss him.
He’s here for it, as his hand on my side yanks me tightly to his body.
My heart races because I’ve played this scene in my head a million times. I’ve imagined what it would be like, I’ve secretly hoped for it.
I trace his stubbled jawline with my lips, merely a touch but enough to get the oxytocin from this man that I think my body may need to survive. It’s why I always allow the gentle touch here or there from Ford.
Closer.
So close.
Nearly the end.
But the moment our lips brush, the feeling is too intense.
I step back, aware that crossing the line with Ford will be a flame that was dimmed but now will be rekindled.