Chapter 23
VIOLET
Iuse my spoon to play with the jellybean that sank to the bottom of my coffee. I’m sure it weighs heavy like my heart.
“How do you not need caffeine right now? You’ve barely drank anything,” Brielle mentions as she stirs the tea bag in her mug.
We’re sitting in Jolly Joe’s, and I’m sure I must look a state. I’m in yoga pants, a cute-enough hoodie, and a messy bun.
“I’m not that thirsty or hungry lately,” I tell her honestly.
She sighs in understanding. “Haven’t heard from him at all?”
I glance up from my drink while my thumb plays with the mug handle. “It’s only been a few days, but why should I?” I laugh to myself. “Then again, Declan is very good at mixed messages, so maybe I should be surprised that he hasn’t reached out.”
“Violet, I don’t know what to say. I was rooting for you two, but maybe Ford made a valid point. Why ride the train if the destination is wrong?”
For the experience, for the adventure. Sometimes we are attached to someone and refuse to let go.
“Maybe I don’t want kids or a husband one day.”
Brielle gives me a pointed look because she’s calling my bluff. “It hurts, I’m sure. You never know, maybe he’ll realize his priorities in life have changed. At least then it would be from his own initiative and not an ultimatum.”
I reach up and tighten my bun. “All valid points, but it doesn’t change the fact that I feel hollow inside and wish I wasn’t so willing to fall for him, but he made me feel… special and that something more was possible.”
She reaches across the table to squeeze my hand. “Remember the good parts.”
I nod, but my bottom lip trembles as I feel a cry about to break which has become routine lately.
Brielle smiles at someone over my shoulder. “Hey.”
I turn my head to see April and her daughter Hadley. “Hey, you two, how are things?” April beams a smile. Her eyes whip to Brielle who I catch mouthing not to ask about Declan. “The flower shop all good?” April’s tone is hesitant as she tries to figure out the dynamics.
I growl a sound. “It’s okay, Brielle, no need to worry about upsetting my little heart.
That’s already been done by a man who, under that bachelor-hockey-player persona, is surprisingly romantic.
But never fear, my beloved brother was right, and Declan Dash is bad news.
” I string my words together, as that anger resurfaces inside of me. At least I made it to 3pm today.
“Yikes,” April simply answers.
“Eat ice cream, that’s what I do every time hockey players break my heart,” Hadley says, as if she has experience, and she’s only fourteen. “Ooh, they have maple pecan today.” She notices the board and heads to the counter.
“Maple pecan,” I echo, with my lips quivering.
“Oh crap, a trigger,” Brielle winces.
I blow out a breath, but tears pool in my eyes.
“How the hell is maple a trigger?” April questions Brielle.
“Because Declan’s family—” Brielle explains.
“Owns a maple syrup company, and he hates maple syrup, except when we…” I wail a sob and drop my head onto my arms on the table, which would be hysterical to most.
April looks at me blankly. “I think this is a sister-in-law pep-talk moment. I’m going to, uh, go grab some non-tree-related ice cream.” She mouths good luck to Brielle and leaves us.
“Why don’t you come stay at our house for a few days?” Brielle suggests as she rubs my arms where they’re crossed on the middle of the table.
My head pops up. “No, I don’t want to hear Ford give me any more of his life wisdom, and your son, I love my nephew, but Connor is really turning into a little shit.” My head flops down.
“He is, isn’t he,” Brielle reflects with a fond smile on her face.
“He’s going to be one of those hockey players with a bad reputation off the ice, I feel it in my bones.
I’m already waiting for him to come home with a tattoo because he used a fake ID to get one.
” She takes a sip of her tea, calm with her predicament.
The corner of my mouth stretches. “Sounds like something he would do.”
“I promise you that one day it will feel like the storm has moved on.”
I straighten my spine to sit up. “I was so happy. I’m not sure I’ll get that again.”
“You will. Besides, you’re talking as though you’ll never see or hear from Declan again. He’ll be in Lake Spark more than he won’t. Eventually you two will need to face one another to clear the air. But I still believe there is hope.”
“Why are you so optimistic?”
Brielle twists her lips and stifles her smile. “Just a feeling I have that will make sense one day, but right now, you should function with confidence and dress to kill. It drives guys crazy, and their brains begin to rewire to think properly. It’s like a button is pushed.”
I shrug a shoulder. “This is my first time out of the house other than the flower shop,” I admit.
“Then do something to change that routine.”
“You’re probably right, I can’t live in this cloud forever. Especially since I don’t know what timeline I’m working with, and I’m not sure biology would let me wait forever.”
Brielle smiles softly at me. “Would you wait forever?”
My lips purse together. “That’s a long time. But I know that it will be hard to match the last few months, and unless it’s Declan, then it won’t be the same.”
That I’m sure of.
Yanking up my strapless dress, I’m severely doubting my choice of attire. My strapless bra is giving me zero support, and the red on my lips feels a shade too dark. This is what I get for letting Charlotte dress me up.
Now I’m swaying my hips to Bonobo’s “Nightline” in a busy club in Chicago, all because I took Brielle’s advice to heart. At least I look and feel hot, I’ve noticed a few eyes land on me, but nobody is of interest because they’re not Declan.
“I’m sorry I haven’t made it out to Lake Spark lately,” Charlotte apologizes over the music as she dances. She’s in hot pink and hard to miss.
I wave her off. “It’s fine. I wanted to get out of Lake Spark, and last time I checked, the club scene is minimal there.”
“Someone needs to tap into that market, there must be a demand.”
My shoulders slant up to my ears. “Doubt it.”
“Come on, I’m dying of thirst.” She grabs my hand and guides me off the dancefloor to the bar.
“Two gin and tonics,” she calls out to the man behind the bar before turning her attention to me. “Doesn’t a small town mean you’re going to run into the man who shall not be named sooner rather than later?”
I bite my bottom lip. “Maybe. Then again, all he has to do is avoid Main Street and we’re safe for a while.”
Charlotte laughs. “Brent thinks Declan is hung up on you.”
My heart patters from the thought, and my head perks up. “Really?”
“Yep.” She smiles at the barman for delivering our drinks. “Declan even skipped the last party, if you know what I mean.” She lifts her brows.
“Oh?”
“Totally.”
I take a sip of my drink. “I almost told him I love him during morning sex.” The confession falls off my tongue.
Charlotte looks at me with affection. “I’m happy you get to experience that—love, I mean. But I’m sorry it’s turning out like this.”
“Maybe it’s for the better that I froze and kept my words in. Makes this all easier, right?”
She shrugs at my thought.
I take another long drink and assess the room, only to return to the door, and my gaze freezes. “You didn’t tell anyone we would be here, right?” I check with Charlotte because this is too much of coincidence.
Declan walks into the club with a beautiful brunette by his side. He smiles at one of the barmen as if they’re familiar with one another.
“No, why?” Charlotte looks over her shoulder, only to scoff a disapproving sound. “Forget small town, seems Chicago isn’t big enough not to run into each other. Who’s the chick?”
I want to run to him and shove him into the wall from the level of anger boiling inside of me.
“Don’t know, don’t care,” I lie and quickly take a sip of my drink. “We’re not together, he’s free to do what he wants.” Bullshit too. Is this what his “timeout” looks like? Did he just move on? No wonder he hasn’t reached out.
Aggressively, I stir the straw in my glass and an ice cube falls out.
“Forget him, Violet. We can get out of here right now and go somewhere to forget him.”
“I’m not going to a sex club,” I protest.
“Okay, okay. Just throwing out options.”
I do my best to avoid glancing at Declan, but it’s hard as he’s a cross between business-Declan and Lake Spark-Declan, in jeans and a blazer.
“Damn it,” I curse to myself and down another long sip of my drink.
“His loss,” Charlotte reaffirms. “The audacity to go around town with her.”
I search for the bartender, ignoring Charlotte clearing her throat.
“Violet.” A warm deep masculine voice says my name, and it wraps around every fiber in my body. My Declan. His hand on my lower back molds to me instantly, a button pressed into the world we created.
My eyes flick up to Declan, and the room seems to stop.
“I see Brent, I’ll be back,” Charlotte mumbles then leaves. Neither Declan nor I take much notice.
“Declan,” I say softly.
His eyes drop then draw a line back up, and an approving smirk ghosts his lips. “You look really stunning.”
For a second, I nearly blush, giddy from his praise, but I know better. I search for the brunette but can’t find her.
“She’s my cousin. Blood-related cousin.” Declan seemed to notice my curiosity and answers my thoughts.
But I won’t melt to a puddle. “It’s okay, you don’t owe me an explanation. We’re on a break.”
His hand jolts me forward a step, closer to him. “Really, my cousin who studies fashion, the reason I knew which boutique to call when you stayed at my condo, that’s her. She’s in the city for a few days to meet up with friends. There is nobody else, understand?”
I barely nod because somewhere in that sentence a beacon of hope shot out at me.
“Why didn’t you let me know that you’d be in the city?” He looks pained.
I scoff a sound of annoyance. “Why haven’t you contacted me?”
His face tenses, and his lips purse out while he takes a long breath. “It’s complicated. I want to be sure.”
“Of what?”
His head lolls gently to the side, and his eyes send heat across my skin before he leans in to whisper in my ear, “You look really good.”
My body trembles from feeling him so close, wanting more.
“Changing the topic, great.” I look up to the ceiling then back to him. “You still need time, that’s fine, but don’t look at me as if you’re about to devour me.”
He smirks and slides the outside of his thumb across his slightly stubbled chin. “Want to get out of here and head back to my place?”
My eyes grow wide. “No, Declan, meaningless sex isn’t going to help us right now.”
He grabs my elbow with a little force that catches me off guard but feels safe all the same. “It can never be meaningless with you.”
Declan’s twisting into my thoughts and feelings again, hope hitting me from all directions. I deserve to have it all, I remind myself.
But this is too good, seeing him again, his hand on me, his eyes possessive.
“How was your day?” I ask, as if we’re chatting over coffee, in an attempt to re-center us to neutral.
“Fine. I had an interview for a magazine profile on my new ownership gig.”
“Good. You can confirm you’re single and readership will skyrocket.” I don’t know why that just spit out of my mouth. The alcohol must be hitting me.
His look turns unimpressed. “I’m not single. We’re on a break.” Declan’s words nearly sound seething. “Tell me the sheriff or some asshole with flowers hasn’t already attempted to make a move.”
“No. Why are we even going over this? Our situation hasn’t changed. I want to give you time, but you are touching me and saying these things that send me right back on the mixed-message train.” I down my drink to the last drop.
His hand drops from my arm, and I hate that it’s my doing that I feel the loss of his touch.
“Violet, let’s get out of here,” he says again, adamant.
I cross my arms over my chest, doing my best to stay firm. “No way.” I can’t help the smile that wants to grace my lips because his persistence sends a swirl of fun tumbling inside my belly. “We’re not helping ourselves if we fall into bed together right now.”
His eyes dip down to me while he smirks. “Say that again and I might just throw you over my shoulder.”
Run far away from this man’s charm. Do it now. Save yourself.
“Find me when you have a clear message and know what to do with my heart,” I declare before I walk away from him, and I may look proud on the outside, but inside I’m desperate for him to proclaim everything I want to hear.