Chapter 4 #2
He seems to study me for a second. “Not often. I’ve wanted to go pro since I first touched the ice. Why do you ask?”
“There was someone who watched my dance showcase a few weeks ago, and they offered me a spot in their company in New York, even without an audition,” I admit.
Connor touches my shoulder gently, and it surprises me, but it’s welcomed. “That’s great… or isn’t it?”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to go, it’s not for me. Too much pressure, but I don’t want to let down my parents. I mean, I know they would support me no matter what, but it’s just a thought in my head, you know?”
“I do. My uncle and dad are a constant reminder of what I need to achieve, and they don’t even mean to be.” He sighs.
“I guess we have something in common then. Being good at something but struggling to fully breathe.” I can’t stop staring at him.
He twirls the end of my hair around his finger and attempts to focus his eyes on my hair, but they only flick up again.
This is my moment.
“Do you find me attractive?” I ask, and I’m not shy about it.
He scoffs a sound before biting his inner cheek, desperately trying to hide his entertained smirk. “Where is this coming from?”
“Answer me.” My tone is short.
He avoids looking at me and instead wraps my strand of hair tighter. “Hadley, you’re a beautiful girl. You don’t need me to tell you that.”
I smile to myself with satisfaction and confidence before I interlace our hands on the floor of the trunk, catching him off guard, but he doesn’t pull away. “I thought so. Do you want to kiss me?”
“I’m not answering that.” There is a hint of a grin on his mouth. “What is this about?”
“I’m no longer a kid,” I remind him.
“I’ve noticed.”
“Help me,” I rasp, barely a whisper.
His eyes linger on our joined hands. “With what?” he asks softly. Maybe I make him nervous or maybe his brain is already connecting the dots.
“Kiss me because I’m too scared to.” My bold declaration surprises even me.
Connor’s sight rockets back up to mine, and he tilts his head slightly to the side, the light highlighting his concerned face. “You don’t seem scared now.”
“Kiss me,” I repeat my request.
His eyes sideline, only to return to me with heat in his gaze. “Hadley, I’ve done a hell of a job avoiding you lately because the ideas in my head don’t make me a gentleman, and here you are throwing it all at me. I won’t be the guy to walk away noble, I’m too selfish.”
“And?” I’m not concerned.
He debates for a few seconds, clearly having an internal struggle. “I’ve tried to warn you. Fuck it,” he seems to curse to himself right before his lips slam onto mine.
His kiss is an explosion of my heart. A command that he leads. So damn firm and better than all of my dreams combined.
I’ve kissed guys before, but nothing like this. My whole body is alive, and his tongue swipes into my mouth with clear direction, causing me to melt. Then it only gets better when it turns fervent. We don’t pull away nor stop.
It escalates until we’re lying down in the back of his car. His hand finds my leg, and I feel it in my bones that we won’t stop. I pause for a second, and his head jolts back to attempt to read my face.
“Just go slow.” My eyes gently gawk at him to ensure he understands that I want more.
But his head gently tilts when a realization hits him. “You’re…”
“Don’t be surprised.”
“Fuck,” he groans before swiping a hand through his hair. “I’m the last person you should be with now. My moral standing to take you right home is non-existent.” He begins to create space between us, but I grab his wrist.
“You’re not other guys… you’re…” It trails off, and I lean in closer to him to run my hand along his arm. “Or would you rather I find some other guy?” I challenge, and instantly I see a sort of possessiveness roar in his eyes.
“Hadley,” he warns. “Don’t do that either. It should be with someone who cares.”
I bring his hand that I’m holding by the wrist and plant it on my bare thigh just below the hem of my skirt. “Like you. You care.” His eyes turn tense, and his jaw tightens, but he doesn’t remove his hand. “Connor, I want it to be you,” I whisper my insistence.
“Don’t throw this offer at me, Sprinkles.” His voice has an edge to it.
I lean in to close our distance, and it can’t be my imagination that I feel his pulse quickening. “Why? Because it’s enticing?” I husk then brush my lips along his jawline.
“You’re not just some hookup,” he whispers as he brings the fingers on his other hand to splay against my throat to hold me in place. His gesture is demanding yet soft.
“How so?”
Connor lifts the corner of his mouth as the fingers on my thigh begin to swivel a lazy design on my leg, as if he is contemplating a few ideas, and my whole body tingles while his lips remain nearly touching my own. “Don’t make me say it.” His voice sounds desperate.
The last few minutes have proven that my attraction is not one-sided. We’ve grown up with one another, at a distance yet so close too. And it seems we both want the same thing.
“Fuck me, I shouldn’t be doing this here with you. You deserve more.” He seems to be talking to himself.
He grabs the blanket from the side, and I have a wary look.
It causes him to laugh. “Relax, it’s in here because I went with some friends to the beach.” Ah, so not for another conquest, except he just highlighted that I’m not just anyone. Nerves hit me, but I feel comfortable and ready.
He lies on his side while I’m on my back. “Have you really thought about me like this?” I hear vulnerability in my voice.
A smirk forms on his mouth, but it’s an earnest and natural look. “I have. Too many times to count.”
I try to control my smile, and we take a few seconds of staring at one another, soaking in our realization that after years of knowing one another, here we are together in a different manner. My fingers begin to work at my clothes, but he stops me.
“You’re going to have to tell me if I’m not gentle enough or I need to slow down. Don’t lie to me. You understand?” He’s insistent.
I nod once, and he does something that surprises me; he kisses my cheek so tenderly, like the time he walked me home once.
Then he peels off his hoodie and shirt, placing his balled-up clothes near my head before digging into his wallet for a condom.
He helps slide my panties off while I peel off my sweater, and I lie back across the seats.
His lips are already trailing my body, heading lower to my most intimate spot. I shiver from the thought of what he is about to do.
“I know this is only a favor.” My breath shakes as I try to reassure him as he hovers over me, but I’m desperately wishing for more.
Connor glances up before he returns to a higher destination, where he hooks his finger under my chin to guide my eyes to meet his.
“It’s a little more than that. A lot more than that.
” He dips his head down to capture my lips again.
“You’re giving me something, and I will never let you forget it.
You’re not just anyone. You were always going to be more than something to me. ”
His words make my heart soar. I’ve been hoping for the moment we would confess our feelings, and now it’s a reality.
Shaking my head and throwing water on my face, I do my best to forget the way he kept his promise to go gentle and slow.
Urged me to look at him and claw his back when pain hit, and his answer was to distract me by kissing me deeper, to the point that I felt he had control of my breath and body.
After, he ditched his party and opted to lie with me for what felt like ages.
He covered me with his hoodie, stroking my hair with his fingers as he laid on his side, reminding me that I was okay, before we reminisced about many things growing up as next-door neighbors and our future careers.
We unleashed a promising start with one another.
Connor told me that we should see one another again. His parents had a relationship when we were that age, and it made him believe we could have been possible. He showered me with kisses every chance he got. It felt like I was on top of the world.
But then the next morning, he appeared in my room completely different, eager to find his hoodie, and he made his thoughts clear.
“We were a mistake.
Forget last night ever happened, we will never be anything.”
It’s been vile hatred since then.
Patting my cheek, I blow out a breath and throw on a hotel robe. Bracing myself, I know I need to face the man in the other room.
Opening the door, I’m surprised to find Connor sitting up against the headboard with only boxer briefs on and perusing a room service menu.
Great, he wants to have the marriage talk shirtless, just freaking awesome.
“Hey there, Wifey.” He smirks as he pats the spot next to him on the bed, inviting me to join him.
I cross my arms, determined not to move an inch. “I am not your wife.”
He hums a sound. “Our marriage certificate and rings say otherwise, so…” It drags, and his chipper tone has me concerned.
“We’ll get it annulled.”
“Can we, though, considering we might have consumed our blessed union?” He’s taunting me.
Why is he sitting there cool as a cucumber?
“We didn’t.” I would have felt it. He isn’t easily forgettable, even when alcohol is involved. “Besides, we can file for a divorce,” I counter.
He slides off the mattress, making a skeptical noise. I gulp when I watch him slowly take a few strides in my direction, and my sanity checks out for a second as I drink in the view of his muscles and chest. “We shall do no such thing, Sprinkles,” he states.
Reality hits me again when he calls me a name I haven’t heard in years, and it throws me off. “W-what?” I stammer.
Connor brings his fingers to my hair and gently tucks a few strands behind my ear, as if he is a sensitive creature, but before I can enjoy any cozy feelings from his touch, I blow away his finger.
“The thing is, I need to keep it positive in the media for a while, and I know you don’t want to break dear old mom and dad’s hearts by informing them that you became a Vegas cliché.
Not to mention, the parents of those little gremlins you teach have a lot of opinions.
Since we know what this is, then I think it’s best that we…
” I’m already shaking my head, and my hands form fists from aggravation.
I can’t muster any words. “Stay married for a while,” he confirms my suspicion.
“Why would I want that misery?” I snicker, with our eyes in a standoff.
“We won’t even manage to end this marriage fast enough before our parents find out. Let’s not break their hearts until we mentally prepare them that our marriage was doomed from the start,” he explains.
I growl because he may have a point. Plus, I’m in no clear mind right now to find a divorce lawyer. Or see the look on my father’s face, probably filled with disappointment that I went away and came back in need of a divorce.
“It’s the off-season, I’m sure you can fake it for the summer.”
I laugh to myself that this is my life, but then I remember what this guy did to me.
“You’re right.” I fake a sweet smile. “Being your wife sounds like a real delight. I can make your life dismal all in the name of marriage.” I pat his hard chest with satisfaction at the new plan forming in my head, all because the idea of destroying him feels like a relief, and the opportunity is here.
He sneers. “I can’t wait to see you try. How about you save it for after our news hits Lake Spark that you’re the new Mrs. Connor Spears, okay?”
“Whatever you say, dear husband.” A contrite smile hits my lips because he will not get the upper hand.
He’ll see.