Chapter 5 #2
“Not at all.” My eyes dip down to my tea that I’ve barely touched, as I’m doing my best to cut caffeine for the pregnancy.
Drawing a line back up to Vaughn who is now studying the menu, I take a deep breath.
“Sorry about your loss, the game. I didn’t get a chance to tell you since we got occupied trying to figure out the mystery of why I wanted to kill you. ”
He raises his brows entertained. “You wanted to kill me?”
“I thought you were not being a gentleman.”
“I’m always a gentleman. Your body should know that.”
Crap, did Jolly Joe’s crank up the radiator? Because I’m refusing to believe that my body warms due to Vaughn’s ability to make me weak and the fact that our banter just flows.
Snap out of it, Isla.
“Uhm, maybe we can keep this coffee… I don’t know, as friends?”
A shade of disappointment is hinted on his face, and he eases his attempt to flirt. “Sure. What do you recommend?”
“Anything. Are you hungry?”
“We ate a few things after the game to restore calories. That’s kind of boring stuff, wild rice and salmon.”
I push down the menu he holds to the table. “Then try the grilled cheese with curly fries.” I can steal a few fries.
“I shall follow your expertise.”
That awkward air floats around us again in silence. It’s crisp and could easily break if we just give into our attraction. A few images flicker in my mind of that night, and my mouth nearly waters.
Vaughn waves a hand in front of my face. “You okay? You seem to be deep in thought.”
“Yeah, just, uh, forgot that the gossip train runs strong in Lake Spark, and my brother could discover I’m enjoying an evening snack with you.”
“Enjoying? That puts me at ease.”
I quirk my lips out then wave him off. “It doesn’t matter. He’s busy with his new girlfriend, and he doesn’t get angry at Connor for talking to you, so why should I be any different, since you and I are just two people who are chatting over grilled cheese.”
Vaughn folds his arms over his chest. “That we are. So why did you call the other week?”
Shit, I nearly forgot why I’m here.
“I saw your game with Memphis and thought I would check in. Tampa isn’t having the best of seasons this year.”
He rakes a hand through his hair. “We’ve had better. Why do I sense that isn’t really the reason why you called?”
The waitress arrives, interrupting my opening to answer. Vaughn orders, and I ask for warm cherry cobbler with vanilla ice cream, although I can’t stomach so much.
A screeching sound of a child hits our ears, which draws our attention to a young family leaving their table and a baby that looks near one getting pulled out of their highchair.
“Yikes. I’m so happy that I get to enjoy dinners in peace,” Vaughn notes.
His comment instantly causes my eyes to whip back in his direction. “You don’t like kids?” Doom hits me, then I remind myself that I always said I could do this all alone if I had to.
“Only if I can return them to their owners. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great when kids are at a game or I help out at a camp, but babies are a whole different ballgame. I see my teammates with kids, and I’m not ready to give up the life I have for that.”
I cough once to rid the fear that is taking over my body like an exorcism. “So, one day you do want kids?”
Vaughn shrugs. “I can’t think that far ahead. I’m not really sure that I would be a great dad anyhow, I don't think I even have it in me. Right now, my focus needs to be on my last season and gulping down this grilled cheese that my table companion has raved about.”
I attempt to offer him a closed-mouth smile, but it wilts far too quickly. Vaughn has just in plain terms stated that he doesn’t enjoy or want kids. He needs to focus on his career. I’m circling back to earlier in the day of imagining the worst-case scenario.
“Oh… we forgot to ask them to include onions. It makes it so much better.” Give me the award for avoidance.
However, this is perhaps the biggest news that I could share in someone’s life. What I’m about to say will alter his life completely, whether he is involved or not.
“I’ll ask them to add some.” He moves to slide out of the booth, but I reach out to grip his wrist to keep him from leaving. Vaughn looks at my adamant hand on his wrist then to me.
“You know, I think I have a better idea. We can ask for it to-go.”
“To-go?” A smirk begins to stretch on his mouth, and he looks impressed. “Sounds like a plan.”
Great, throw me in the horrible-human category.
We walk to the parking lot because I’m not sure what I’m doing except filibustering. I need more time to figure out where his head is at.
“Are you excited to see your brother for Christmas?” I ask as we walk side by side, with the snow crunching at our feet and twinkly white holiday lights hanging all over Main Street. He’s holding the takeout bag as we walk.
“Absolutely, we’re going to kick back with a few beers, and Stone is cooking a turkey.
Way too much food for us, but we have college football to watch.
It’s sort of a tradition. Growing up, we had simple Christmases, all of our mom’s savings went into hockey.
Then when my brother went pro, followed by me, we still chose to keep it simple.
Between hockey, endorsements, PR commitments, and fancy events, it just feels so good to sit back and relax. ”
God, I can relate. “I hear ya. It was kind of the same for Briggs and me, or at least until our grandmother got a job typing up hospital records. It paid well, and life kind of changed a little. I had a scholarship at college, and I’m relieved about that. It meant I wasn’t relying on her.”
Our shoulders occasionally touch on our leisurely stroll, and we slow down as we approach my car, not wanting this conversation to end.
“You have a strong head on your shoulders, Isla.” His praise causes my cheeks to lift, because I think I needed to hear that; it’s the only way I can be now.
“I can imagine you must be able to relate. It must get lonely focusing on hockey. You don’t ever want to have people waiting for you when you come home?” I’m testing him again.
He stalls in his step, and it causes me to side-eye him to investigate the look on his face, highlighted by the streetlight.
“Why do you ask? You’re not holding out that maybe I want more, are you?
” I hear the concern in his voice, and it only confirms my theory.
Yet he isn’t harsh either. Maybe he feels it too, that beyond our attraction we’re able to connect on a different level that feels like a relief since he can relate to so many things.
My head goes side to side. “Not at all. Just asking.” I don’t dare ask him if he would have been happy or confused if he had answered the phone. “I needed to call,” I mumble to myself, only realizing the thought in my head escaped my lips.
“Right, how come you called?” A deep low sound escapes his mouth in contemplation. “I guess I would have been a little confused if I had answered, as we kind of had a plan to leave it at one night, but I was also debating sending you a message.”
I think of a fib. “Because we knew we would run into one another.”
“Yeah. There isn’t much more that I can offer.” He sounds serious, but his smile remains gentle.
“Except screwing me. You’ve implied it once or twice tonight,” I tease him.
He laughs. “Well, that is on offer. We’re laidback around each other and are well aware that we’re not going to be anything more than a hookup… maybe two.”
Except we made a baby.
The words to make the announcement seem to be vanishing. I’m too scared, as his views are clear. A baby is the last thing he wants. I knew this was a possibility, but I hate the thought that another father figure has failed me.
“So, this is me.” I indicate my car.
Vaughn nods as he steps forward, guiding me until my back rests against the door of my small SUV. There is heat blazing between us, despite our breath visible in the cold air. “It is. Going to offer me a ride?” He came by taxi.
“I think that would get us in trouble.” I grin to myself.
His fingers adjust the wool hat on my head. “I’m starving.”
My head lolls gently to the side to swipe my cheek along his hand. “A good thing you have the food then.”
Vaughn sets the bag on the top of my car. “Except that’s not what I’m hungry for.”
I snort a laugh. “That’s a ridiculous line, and you know it.”
He nods in agreement, his eyes pleading like a man entranced. In this moment, I hold the cards more than he will ever know.
My brain is crossing wires, and I do the stupidest thing I can think of.
I take hold of his coat and yank him forward so that we can share a kiss.
However, I know better. Instead, our lips are within breathing distance, tracing one another, both eager for more.
A brush of our lips gives us a hint of what could be our night.
A feathered-feeling reminder that our attraction is dangerous… but I won’t give in.
Which is why I nuzzle his nose and inhale his scent, as if it will give me strength for the months ahead.
“I think,” I whisper, “we’re in a risky situation. I had every intention to drive you to the Dizzy Duck and get out of my car with you. But it’s better if we say goodbye here, trust me.”
“I disagree,” he chides softly.
His lips nip at the corner of my mouth, and I retreat slightly.
Taking a breath, I do what’s best because I’m far too petrified right now due to our conversation tonight. “Bye, Vaughn,” I simply say.
Because I can’t tell him about the baby.