Chapter 21
VAUGHN
Isla is standing behind the boards with her jaw hanging low as she watches, unsure if this is a good idea. But Nora is now a few weeks old and loves her carrier wrap.
I’m on my skates with Nora bound tightly to me as I skate slowly around the rink. She’s bundled warmly against my chest, and this is her first taste of life on the ice. I love it.
I decided my break between meetings should be this, and since we only have summer training camp happening, it’s a little easy on the ice with the players.
The person from the marketing team taking a video can’t be helped, but the world already knows that I’m a dad.
The team posted a congratulations photo on their social media channels.
Naming the mom? It made a lot of fans go crazy in the good type of way.
The whole “sister of the hockey player falling for another hockey player” has an angle that people seem to eat up.
Except we’re not officially together, and nobody has corrected the public either. It doesn’t matter, right now my focus is on being Daddy Vaughn.
I’m well aware that Nora has no clue what’s going on while we skate, nor will she remember this, but her nervous mom on the other hand most definitely will.
“Just don’t fall,” Isla mentions when I pass.
“Relax, I’m a pro at this,” I assure her.
“Yeah, and I’ll beat him to a pulp if he does,” Briggs pipes up as he skates by me, enjoying his time off but still hitting the ice.
I sigh because there is no escaping Isla’s brother before he leaves for Seattle next season, but he has been tamer around me, and occasionally he backtracks.
“Supportive as always,” I call out sarcastically.
Skating some more, I look down and notice that my daughter is slowly closing her eyes. “Uhm, you’re supposed to be wide awake for this. It’s your big ice debut,” I tease my little girl who has no clue what I’m saying, especially as her eyes shut. I guess this is relaxing for her.
I notice that Briggs has stopped up ahead near the goal post, with his eyes skeptical as he stares at me. Approaching him, I decide to extend an olive branch, but he beats me to the punch.
“My sister seems happy. She was meant to be a mom, even if by accident.”
I smile softly to myself. “Does it matter how it happened, as long as she’s okay?”
Briggs swipes a hand across his jaw. “About that… as much as I hate this, I want us to have a man-to-man talk.”
My posture straightens in surprise. “Probably a good idea. I was waiting for you to cool off from everything, but I also want to talk, so let’s do it now.”
We both glance at Isla who is far enough away that she can’t hear; instead, she studies us warily.
Briggs starts. “You have to take care of her when I’m not here.
She may appear to be strong, but I can guarantee that she’s more scared than you can imagine when it comes to having a family.
If she ever says she can do it alone, then it’s a lie; she would be brokenhearted for Nora if you are not involved. ”
Inside I’m in complete agreement. I understand more than Briggs will ever know.
“If you’re giving me a warning, then you don’t need to. I wouldn’t do that to Isla or Nora. I will always be involved.” More than my old man ever was.
Briggs seems to grasp my sincerity. “Good. Because I’ve been the one to watch her, but now I won’t be here all the time. I need to know she’s okay. I also don’t want to break any laws if I find out she’s in pain, especially if it’s by you.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying not to get aggravated, but I could repeat myself a thousand times. “Briggs, you have my word. We can agree on one thing and that’s Isla and Nora.”
He scoffs a laugh. “You do realize I am only talking about the parenting factor. Whatever the hell you two do on the relationship factor, then that deserves a whole other discussion. I’m not sure what in the world you two got up to the last months before Nora entered our lives, but I sure as hell hope that my sister doesn’t end up upset.
It’s no longer fun and games, you know.”
Licking my lips, I’m not sure that I should be having this conversation with Briggs.
It’s far too close to home, it’s a topic that I have to tread carefully around.
I’m an equal partner in the Isla-and-me equation.
She has the same power as me to bring disaster, as far as our non-parenting relationship is concerned.
“Again, stating the obvious. What would you like me to do to prove to you that you don’t need to worry? Do I look like a man who is going to play a game with my chance at a family?”
Briggs looks at me intently, almost with a profound empathy. He even tips his nose slightly up, as if he is whiffing out my intentions in order to approve. “She no longer likes ice cream sandwiches. It’s cherry cobbler, with vanilla bean ice cream.”
I smile wryly at the advice he just gave me. Almost as if I should sway her. Did the world stop turning?
He begins to skate off, but I call out his name. “Briggs.” His attention returns to me. “I’m also counting on you. Summer is by no means easy on the schedule for me, but it is for you. I need you to take care of her when I’m not there, be the extra support we probably need.”
Briggs nods in agreement before he skates away.
I can’t process fast enough what just happened as my daughter grabs my attention, sleeping peacefully without a care in the world. Completely unaware that her parents need to figure out some things.
Isla and I go for a walk around the neighborhood, with me pushing the baby stroller.
“What should we do about the childcare situation?” I ask. The weeks are quickly passing.
Isla exhales with dread. “I’m trying not to think about it. I still have a little more time on maternity leave, as Ford gave me extra. They also said I can work part-time if I want going forward. It’s just…”
I gently touch her back while my other hand continues to push Nora. “It doesn’t excite you in the same way.”
Her shoulder slants. “Exactly. Also… I don’t want to feel like I’m leaving her too much. That’s what…”
“Your mom did.” I fill in her sentence, and we stop in our stride.
“Yeah.” I hear the sadness in her voice.
I wrap my arm around her from the side from instinct. “We’re not our parents.”
“We’ll do it better.” She doesn’t sound enthused. “Motto of our lives.”
“It can be true.”
She leans over to touch Nora’s belly; our daughter is the lightness we need when things get too real. “But to answer your question, I just don’t think I’m ready to head back to work, but I should.”
“You don’t have to rush, Isla. You don’t need to work at all if that’s what you want.
I want to take care of you both. If you feel it’s better for yourself or Nora, then we’re lucky enough that it’s not an issue financially.
” I’m offering because I mean it when I say that I want to take care of her.
“I couldn’t let you do that,” she’s quick to protest.
I chuckle to myself and wet my lips. “Remember, I can get a little insistent. Don’t be surprised if I hand in your resignation,” I joke with her.
Her brows raise. “Oh, I know you would. But we’re just adding to our list of things that we should establish, in parenting or with us. Because what you just offered is more than a kind gesture that doesn’t necessarily involve Nora.”
“And? I’m not worried about it. Nothing about you scares me,” I admit. I’m drawn to her like water in a tide, unable to go in the opposite direction.
Isla seems to let my revelation sink in. “Maybe you should be. I kept a secret from you. You never once doubted my irresponsible birth control accident, or asked if she was really yours. You went in headfirst without question.”
I bite the corner of my mouth. “It’s because I do trust you. Even though you didn’t tell me and it hurt, I slowly understand your reasoning.”
“I never slept with anyone else after the hurricane or even the months before, in case you’re wondering.”
“Ditto for me.”
Now she seems shocked. “What? You really didn’t sleep with anyone else?”
I shake my head.
“We’re having this conversation a little late,” she one-tones.
I begin to grin. “Sounds about right.”
We both look down at our daughter whose eyes are big and curious.
“I want her to know she’s number one,” Isla mentions.
“That’s not even negotiable for either of us,” I agree.
Isla leans her head against my shoulder as we continue to watch our daughter lying there with the world moving around her. “We got lucky with her.”
“Yeah, we did,” I nearly whisper.
I got lucky with you too.
We continue to walk slowly back to our house.
“Vaughn, I’m happy we can talk openly about this stuff. Well, the parenting stuff. It makes one aspect easier.”
“Me too.”
We’re still avoiding the us factor like the plague, but it makes sense for now.
I’m just tiptoeing us into the inevitable conversation.
This is probably the tables turning. She was the one afraid to tell me about the pregnancy for all those months; now I’m the one afraid to share how I feel.
More empathy hits me for the whole situation of the last months since November.
I’m going to take the easy road out right now.
“Want to go grab some cherry cobbler with vanilla bean ice cream?”
Isla’s face turns appreciative, as if I uncovered the key to her soul. “Ooh, someone just gained points.”
I snort a laugh. “If only this was all as easy as a hockey game.”
Because I only ever do my best to win, and I’m scared that I may lose all of this.