13. Daphne
13
DAPHNE
I rush around the house with no idea what to do with myself. It’s times like this I wish I had one of those long, low, fancy couches made for swooning. I need to swoon. Or faint. Okay, I’ve settled on hyperventilating.
Oh my goodness. Logan is back in New Jersey, and he wants me to be his. What does that even mean? He’ll be here in ten minutes, and staying here, and we’re a couple, and I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I’ve never done this.
Do we eat dinner and then go to bed?
Crap, I didn’t shave my legs this morning.
Five minutes. Do I have time to shave everything? Do I change into lingerie? Wait, I don’t have lingerie.
Shoot, I’m so not ready for this.
“Hi, honey, I’m home!” Logan walks in with the pizza boxes and a bag hanging off his wrist.
“I got a pizza for each of us, so we have leftovers, Caesar salad for lunch tomorrow, and root beer. I’ve been craving root beer. Where do you want to eat? Table or couch?”
I stand there staring at him.
“Daph? You okay?”
I give a weak smile and head into the kitchen to get us plates and glasses. “I’m fine. Let’s sit at the table.”
As I reach into the cabinet to get our plates, I feel his hands at my waist. He brushes a kiss on my neck, and although I can’t control my shiver, I tense up. Taking the plates from my hands and setting them on the counter, Logan then puts a hand on my hip to turn me around to face him.
I lean against the counter and gaze up at him. I’ve never noticed how much taller than me he is. I mean, I’ve always known Logan has several inches on me, but this is the first time we’ve been this close face-to-face without something else happening, like laughing or hugging.
“Honey, talk to me. I know something is going on in your beautiful mind. What is it?” A concerned expression passes over his face, and he backs up, glancing away. “Have you changed your mind? I surprised you. If you’re having second thoughts about this, just tell me.”
I don’t know what to say, so I stand there like an idiot. I can’t even look up at him any longer. I’m staring at his white T-shirt with the red heart on it.
Logan exhales, and I swear it came from the depths of his soul. “Okay, um, I’m going to grab a couple of slices and go to my room.” He reaches past me, the combination of his arm brushing my shoulder and a whiff of his sexy scent almost knocking me over. Logan is leaving.
“Wait…what?” I sound like an idiot, but I have no clue what is going on.
“Daphne, something’s going on. You’re not talking to me, and I can tell I’m making you uncomfortable. That’s the last thing I want to do. I know I sprung all this on you, and we got a bit carried away. I guess you’re regretting it now. I can stay at my parents’ tonight if you’d prefer. I was going to leave in the morning, but I can go now.”
My heart sinks, and tears flood my eyes. My first boyfriend, and he’s ready to break up after two hours. I knew I couldn’t do this.
“Hey, don’t cry. Talk to me.”
His thumb brushes away the tear sliding down my cheek. I whisper, “I don’t know what to do.” Death by embarrassment must not really be a thing because I’m still breathing. I rest my head against his chest and wrap my arms around his waist. Hearing Logan’s heart thumping under my ear is comforting, and the warmth of his arms around me is heavenly. It’s easier to talk if I’m not looking at him.
“Do about what?”
I feel the rumble of the words against my cheek as well as hear them. With a sigh, I respond, “How to do this. I’ve never done this before. I’m afraid I’m not going to be good at it.”
We stand there, Logan’s thumb brushing along my spine. It feels so good that I want to purr like a cat. That would probably be weird.
He pulls away and takes my hand. “C’mon, let’s sit on the couch. We need to talk.”
I’ve watched enough TV to know nothing good comes from that phrase. We sit side by side. Logan still holds my hand, and he turns toward me. I’m staring straight ahead, afraid of what I’m going to see if I face him. I was so close to having what I wanted, and I’m losing it already.
“Daphne, look at me. Honey, what’s going on?”
I turn to peek at him. He’s so handsome. I don’t want to screw this up.
“I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never done this before.”
He rests his hand against my cheek, and it’s so warm. “When you say you haven’t done this before, what exactly do you mean? Just tell me.”
I guess I have to put it all out there. The bouncing of my leg is making the whole couch shake. Does Logan notice? “I don’t know how to have a relationship. I don’t know how to be a girlfriend. I don’t know how to have a boyfriend. I know nothing. I’ve done none of this before.” I lift my face to him.
Logan gazes back with a crease between his brows and a confused puppy head tilt. His thumb still caresses my cheek though, so that’s nice. His hand leaves my face and rests against the back of the couch. Well, it was nice while it lasted.
I go to stand. May as well eat some pizza. But before I can get up all the way, Logan has hooked my belt loop and pulled me back down alongside him.
His arm wraps around my shoulders, and he leans toward me. “Hey, it’s okay.”
I lift my gaze.
He’s smiling gently at me. “Daphne, are you a virgin?”
My skin goes hot, and I lower my face.
“No, no, no, look at me. It’s okay. It’s me. You can tell me anything. Daphne, come on.”
Okay, deep breath, be brave. I meet his gaze. “Yes, I’m a virgin, and this is a lot, and I wasn’t expecting it. You know I have a hard time with surprises, even wonderful ones, and I don’t know what to do, and I don’t want to be bad at it, and you know what you’re doing, and I didn’t shave my legs today. Oh my God! You’re laughing at me!”
That’s it, I’m out of here. Logan’s grip tightens around my shoulders before I can stand.
“No! Honey, I’m not laughing at you. I mean, not in any kind of bad way. We’re good. We go at your speed. As long as you’re not channeling your inner Chewbacca, I don’t care what your legs are like. I didn’t shave mine today either.”
My shoulders relax. I didn’t realize how tight they’d been.
“A lot has happened today,” he says, “and I’ve had the advantage of knowing that I’d see you. Let’s take a deep breath, eat our pizza, and relax. Nothing needs to happen tonight. We’re just us, same as always.”
Giggling, I can’t resist. “Us but with kissing.” I hope just kissing is enough for him. I’m not ready to jump headfirst into all the other physical aspects of our relationship yet.