18. Logan
18
LOGAN
Thank goodness Daphne wasn’t planning on watching the movie. She’s too darn kissable to resist.
“I can’t get enough of kissing you,” I breathe against her lips. I can’t believe I have to leave so soon. The knowledge fills me with urgency, longing, sadness. I kiss her harder, not wanting to let go, not now that I’ve got what I want after all this time. How will I be able to leave her behind? But I must. I’m committed until right before Christmas. But then I’ll be home, and we can figure out what to do next.
“I can’t get enough of being kissed,” Daphne murmurs, raining kisses along my jawline before snuggling against my side to continue watching the movie.
An hour later, I whisper, “Are you ready to call it a night? You need to get up early for work tomorrow.” I place a kiss against her crown.
I could spend countless nights here cuddling on the couch. I love holding her in my arms. If we could sleep here so I didn’t have to release her, I would, but she has to go to work in the morning, and this couch wasn’t designed for two people to sleep comfortably on. Okay, it’s not meant for one person of my size to sleep comfortably on, but I’d suffer if it meant Daphne was in my arms all night.
When she sits up, I lean to press a kiss where her shoulder meets her neck. She shivers oh-so-slightly. I love how responsive she is to my touch.
“Yeah, I guess so,” she says. “I was so comfy I was about to doze off. I love snuggling with you. You give good cuddles.” She stretches and wiggles to turn around and face me.
I’m thinking of creepy clown puppets in an attempt to keep my cock calm in my black basketball shorts. He’s been perking up in interest all night long, but I don’t need him at full attention and waving hello like he’s the Queen of England in a parade.
She kisses my chin and moves to put her feet on the floor and stand. I want to pull her back against me, but that will lead to a lot more cuddling and kissing with no sleeping. She gathers our cupcake papers and other snack trash and walks to the kitchen to take care of it. I check the locks on the doors and start turning off lights as we make our way back to the bedrooms. Daphne goes into her room, and I enter the hallway bathroom to brush my teeth.
“Where are you going?” Daphne asks, standing in her doorway. She’s ditched the yoga pants and is wearing only her oversized T-shirt and showing miles of shapely legs.
I feel like this is a trick question. “To bed?” As far as I know, that’s the right answer.
She smiles. “I moved your pillows in here. Is that okay?”
“Hell yes!” I picture myself resembling the cartoon Road Runner with my legs spinning in a circle in my rush to get into her bedroom. It’s not a very sexy look for me, but it makes my girl giggle, so it’s all good. We’ve shared beds before when we’ve fallen asleep watching TV or stayed over somewhere after a night out with limited sleeping spots. “Let me brush my teeth and I’ll be in,” I say, closing the bathroom door.
With my teeth freshly brushed, I join Daphne in her bedroom. It’s a pretty room with white furniture we bought at IKEA and spent an afternoon putting it together while reading the instructions in our version of Swedish accents. We sounded more like the Muppet chef than anyone human, but it was fun. Her queen-size bed has a green and purple floral quilt on it that her Gran made. Gran was a prolific quilter, and I’m pretty sure she has baby quilts packed away for Daphne’s future children. Our future children, I hope.
“You still sleep on the right side? That’s where I put your pillows, but we can switch…” She’s worrying her lower lip as if she’s nervous. Ah, my sweet girl.
“Right side is perfect. I’m honestly good with whatever.” I see my phone and charger on the nightstand, plugged in on that side already, and there’s a bottle of water. The only thing missing is a mint on the pillow. I walk over and turn down the covers on my side of the bed, and then stop. I normally sleep nude, but I can’t do that tonight. When we’ve shared a bed before, we fell asleep wearing what we wore. It wasn’t a pre-planned thing.
Daphne notices my hesitation. “What’s up? If you don’t want to sleep in here, that’s okay.” No, that’s not okay. I want to spend as many nights by her side as possible. There’s nowhere else I want to be.
“Of course I want to be in here.” I feel the blush color my cheeks. I’m a grown man, and I’m blushing like that time I walked in on my parents. “I was trying to figure out what to wear.”
Daphne shrugs. “Wear what you normally wear.”
“I don’t normally wear anything, honey.”
Now it’s Daph’s turn to blush. “Oh! Um…okay…”
I laugh softly. “No, I’m good. I’ll take off my shirt and leave my shorts on, okay?”
She nods.
“Daphne.” I wait for her eyes to meet mine across the bed. “We’re just sleeping. It’s okay. We can cuddle. I’d love to hold you throughout the night, but nothing more is going to happen until you’re ready for it. Until we’re both ready for it. And we’re not ready yet. We have forever. There’s no rush.”
The smile she gives me is shy but glorious. I want her to always give me that smile in our bedroom.
I open my mouth to tell her I love her but close it quickly. Too soon. Still too soon. How long will I have to swallow how I feel, silence it?
“Is something wrong?” she asks, climbing into the bed.
“No. Nothing.” I follow her lead, and thankfully find something to distract her. And me.
“You’re using the blue cartoon moose sheets I bought you last Christmas. I never thought
I’d have the chance to sleep on them.” I turn off the lamp on my side of the queen-size bed, enjoying the softness of the flannel sheets against my skin.
Daphne turns off her lamp, and we lie side by side on our backs in the dark. Her giggles fill the room, and my deep chuckle joins in. I reach over and clasp her hand.
“Why is this so awkward?” she asks. “We’ve slept together before.”
I scoot toward her as she’s scooting toward me. We meet in the middle, our bodies instinctively knowing how best to cuddle together. I grab her hand and lift it to my lips to press a gentle kiss to her palm, then I lower it to rest over my heart, my hand covering hers. We lie like this for a few minutes when I feel her wiggle a bit.
“What do I do with my other arm?” Her question breaks the silence. She moves, trying to figure out what to do. I love her awkward self. Our life will never be boring. “I like the way we’re cuddling, but I don’t know what to do with this arm. None of my romance novels ever mention what to do with the bottom arm. Do they pretend it doesn’t exist, or does everyone else know what to do with it but me?”
I can’t help it. I laugh. She’s adorable. “Do whatever you want with your arm. You could lay more on your stomach and have it stretched out on the other side or lay more on your back so it’s not under you. Tuck it up under your cheek. We could spoon.”
She’s tensing. This is upsetting her. She hates it when she doesn’t know what to do. Uncertainty makes her nervous. I stop laughing. It’s not funny if she’s stressed.
“You could lie however you usually do. We don’t have to cuddle. I know you need to get up for work in the morning. Do whatever you need to do so you can sleep.” I hope she doesn’t take that last option. I want to hold her.
Daph gets up from the bed, does a full-body shimmy that causes her breasts to jiggle—I’m a fan of that move—and resumes her spot under the covers. She lies on her side against me, but this time her lower arm is bent with her hand under her chin, so her arm isn’t trapped between us. She rests her head against my chest again, and lays her hand over my heart.
I cover her hand with mine and kiss the crown of her head. “All good now?”
Her contented sigh blows across my chest, causing goosebumps to rise along my skin.
“All good. Goodnight.” She presses a kiss to my chest.
“Goodnight, sweetheart.”
Holding Daphne like this is something I’ve dreamed of but didn’t dare think about too much. I didn’t think it would happen, but here we are. I can sense when she’s drifted off to sleep—her whole body relaxes, and her breathing deepens. She’ll deny it with her last breath, but she snores slightly. It’s adorable. I enjoy the luxury of being here and holding her until I drift off to sleep myself.