20. Logan
20
LOGAN
We’re sitting in my Jeep at a stoplight, on our way to my uncle’s house, and Daphne looks like she’s about to hurl. She’s pale and tapping her fingers on her thigh.
I reach over and grab her hand, stroking it, trying to calm her. “Why are you nervous? You know everyone that’s going to be there. They all adore you. I’m pretty sure some of them like you more than they like me.”
Giving my hand a squeeze, Daphne grins. “Just your dad. Your mom still likes you best.”
“Sunshine, you’ve charmed all the men in my family. Uncle Will and Liam are big fans of yours, and I’m pretty sure Andy had a crush on you. You were the alluring older college woman, so much more worldly than the girls in his freshman high school class.”
Her giggle is like a crystal bell. “Yeah, I was so alluring in my hoodies and Chucks. You couldn’t even tell I had boobs!”
I laugh. “Maybe that was the attraction. He is gay.”
I stop at the red light and gaze at her. She’s lovely in her red V-neck sweater that drapes over her breasts enticingly. There’s no hiding the fact she has boobs now. Her rich chestnut hair is down around her shoulders in large, loose curls. Big brown eyes meet mine through the lenses of her wire-rimmed glasses.
“What?” she asks.
I smile at her and then turn back to realize the light turned green. “You don’t know how lovely you are. It’s not what you wear or your boobs. Just so you know, I’m a big fan of your boobs, but that’s one—okay, two—of the things that make you captivating. It’s so much more than what’s on the outside, and you don’t see what the rest of us see beyond your beauty. Hey! No scoffing.”
Knowing Daphne, she’s rolling her eyes in concert with her scoff because she can’t take a compliment.
“You are beautiful,” I insist. “But you’re so much more. You’re smart and strong and loving and funny. You’re the total package…plus a nice rack.”
She pulls her hand from my grasp and punches me in the arm.
“Hey! And you have a good jab.”
I turn onto my aunt and uncle’s street and follow the cul-de-sac to pull up to the curb in front of their house.
“My parents are here. Kendall and Liam too.”
My cousin Kennie is home from school for the weekend, and Liam stays in the pool house when he’s not traveling on Morgan Development business.
“Yeah, Kennie texted to see what I was wearing. She’s so excited to be going to Devil’s Den with us after dinner. Says it’s the first time she’s going to a casino…legally.”
Daphne and I shake our heads in tandem. My younger cousin is a spitfire. I turn off the car and lean toward Daphne, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. I could stay like this all night, but I suspect Mom and Aunt Faith are watching. If we linger too long, they’ll come out to get us.
Parting reluctantly, I reach in the back seat to grab the box holding the caramel apple cake Daph picked up from the Half-Cocked Bake Shop on the way home. Daphne takes the cake box from my hands.
“Here, give me the cake. I’ll carry it. I know you’re going to be subjected to hugs and handshakes the second we walk in. You need your hands free.”
“True. I’m surprised we haven’t had visitors showing up on the doorstep. I didn’t expect them to wait patiently until Friday for us to meet for dinner.” I walk around the car to open the door for her. Sure, it’s old-fashioned, but I enjoy doing these little things for Daphne. My dad still does these things for Mom, and I see how happy it makes her. I’m fortunate to have them as an example. I would love to have a marriage as strong and happy as my parents. And I want it to be with Daphne. I’m trying to ignore the warning Uncle Will gave me. We’re going to be fine.
I love this house. It’s a large brick home in an upscale neighborhood, but where other homes on the street are like soulless McMansions, Aunt Faith has infused warmth and character with the potted mums flanking the porch and scarecrows sitting on hay bales on the lawn.
The oak front door opens as we follow the walkway to the porch, and I can see my cousin Kendall waiting for us.
“Finally!” she says. “I thought you guys were going to stay in the car kissing all night and starve me to death.”
Kennie is petite and seems delicate, but her years as a competitive cheerleader have given her the metabolism of a linebacker, and she’s always hungry. You wouldn’t think a five-foot, two-inch pixie could pack away pizza and wings the way she does, but she’s a force of nature.
Kennie waves us in. “Mom made her beef stew, and it smells so good. Hurry and get in here so we can get started.”
“Kendall Maureen Morgan, go finish setting the table.” Aunt Faith appears next to Kennie and snaps her hip with the dishtowel in her hand.
“ Ooh , you got middle named!” Liam calls out from the living room.
“William James Morgan III. Go help your sister!” Aunt Faith isn’t one to take any sass. Years of teaching high school have made her tough. It doesn’t matter that her kids are twenty-one and twenty-seven and no longer teenagers. She’s in charge, and that’s it. I hear Ken tease Liam about being thirded. They are such goofs.
Aunt Faith smiles brightly. “Logan, Daphne! Welcome! Give me a hug.” She envelops me in a tight hug. She’s like Kendall, tiny but strong.
Uncle Will welcomes Daphne, taking the cake box from her with a smile. “Come on in, guys. Does this need to be refrigerated, Daphne?”
“No, it doesn’t have to be. It’s a caramel apple cake with cream cheese frosting, so on the slim chance there are leftovers, refrigerate them, but for dessert, it’s best to let it come to room temperature while we eat dinner.”
We wander further into the house. Dad is pouring wine and gestures toward us with the bottle. I shake my head no since I’m driving, but Daphne smiles and nods yes. I’m assuming my parents brought the wine, so it’s probably a Cabernet Sauvignon from a local winery. Mom loves the Cabs.
“About time you two got here!” Mom embraces Daphne and smiles at me over her shoulder. “We were going to start without you!”
“Don’t lie, Holly. You were two minutes from calling them.” Dad holds out his hand for a shake and pulls me into a backslapping hug. As if they choreographed it, Mom and Dad switch, and I’m getting a hug and cheek kiss from my mother while Dad embraces Daphne. They saw me last Friday, but you’d think it’s been two years from the way they’re acting.
“Daphne, it’s great to see you outside of your dungeon of an office. Will, we need to move Daphne and Mallory upstairs to join the rest of the legal team,” Dad says.
Uncle Will turns from setting the cake box on the counter and ambles over to join us, picking up Daph’s wine glass and handing it to her.
She takes a big sip.
“You do a great job,” Dad continues, “but it’s a shame to have you down there. Move you two upstairs where there are windows and natural light. You’d adapt to leasing, or with your accounting background, maybe you’d rather be in finance.”
I see the panic on Daphne’s face. Work is the last thing she wants to discuss at dinner, or any time, but especially not now.
I clear my throat. “No Morgan Development talk tonight. There’s enough to discuss without boring office stuff.” Winking at Daphne, I introduce a new subject while we take our seats at the table. “How about the Flyers last night? That power play in the second period was insane, right?” That’s the trick to get the conversation on a new track. Everyone except for Mom and Kendall loves hockey and will talk about it anytime, anywhere. Kennie and Mom are similarly rabid over the Phillies, but their season is over. Liam takes the seat on Daphne’s other side and gives her a side hug and kiss on the cheek, shooting me a smug look over her head as he pulls away. My parents sit across from us, with Kennie across from Liam. Uncle Will and Aunt Faith are at either end.
We all bend our heads as Aunt Faith says grace. After the ‘Amen,’ the bowls of stew get passed around from one direction and the basket of warm French bread from the other way. It’s a well-choreographed dance from all the family dinners we’ve had through the years. Since I’m foregoing wine, I only have water with my stew. It is so flavorful nothing else sounds good with it. I know the Cabernet the others are drinking is an excellent wine, but I’m driving us to the casino after dinner and I don’t drink at all if I’m driving. Daphne has never said anything, but knowing a drunk driver killed her parents, I don’t want her to worry for a second about me driving while impaired.
“This is so good, Faith. Thanks for having us,” Daphne says after we’ve all started eating.
“My pleasure,” Aunt Faith replies. “I’m so glad you could visit before Logan heads out again. You leave Monday?”
Grr… I don’t want this to be our topic of conversation. She tries to hide it, but I can tell it distresses Daphne to think about me leaving. We discussed it this week, and there were tears, more hers than mine, but I had a few too. We just got together. We’re just getting used to being together. As more than friends. It sucks. It may even suck ass.
Daphne has issues about being left behind, and I hate that, but she could always come with me. I’m not leaving her behind. She’s choosing to stay here. I have commitments until right before Christmas. Maybe I should have waited until I fulfilled my commitments before coming home and telling Daph about my feelings, but I didn’t want to hold back any longer, especially with Liam sniffing around.
I’m not proud to admit that part of it was waiting to make sure she knew how I felt because I was afraid she’d find someone else as part of her mission to go out more. Once she was out, other men would flock to her. I want to make sure she’s mine. If Liam was successful in getting Daphne to go out with him, I’m not sure my friendship with him would survive. I couldn’t spend holiday dinners across the table from them without wanting to leap across and beat the hell out of Liam. If I saw Daphne kissing him, I’d lose it.
Swallowing my bite of buttered bread, I nod. “Yeah, I leave early Monday evening, arriving in Spain on Tuesday morning. I’ll be going to a kite festival on one of the Canary Islands and then the Portugal Horse Fair. I’ll be covering the Christmas markets and whatever else I come across. I’ll be back the week before Christmas.”
Daphne stiffens next to me, and I place my hand on her thigh and give a gentle squeeze. She relaxes slightly, but I know she doesn’t like this topic.
Kennie’s face lights up, and she gives a slight squee. “Ooh, that’s exciting! Will this be your first time going, Daphne?”
Ah, damn. Why did Kendall have to bring that up? An awkward silence falls around the table. Apparently, no one filled in Kennie regarding the situation.
Liam refills Daphne’s wine, and she picks up the glass as she answers. “I’m not going. This all happened suddenly, so my passport needs to be renewed. Plus I have work and my house. I can’t up and go on the spur of the moment.”
I wince. Daphne takes a large sip of her wine. She’s bouncing her leg under the table. It’s her tell that she’s stressed. I give her thigh another squeeze, and she gives me a tight smile that doesn’t reach her eyes.
“Oh no!” Kendall exclaims. “That’s a shame! You can expedite your passport renewal. I’m sure you can get time off and—oof.” She gives her brother a dirty look. I’m pretty sure Liam kicked her under the table. There’s a reason he’s usually my other best friend. When he’s not trying to pick up my girl. Thank goodness Kendall is going to school for elementary education and not something like International Relations. She does not have a future in diplomacy.
My mother, bless her soul, starts talking as if the past two minutes didn’t happen. “I saw you brought dessert, Daphne. I’m saving room. What is it?”
Dad picks up the conversational baton. “You don’t even know what it is, Holly-honey, and you’re saving room? What if it’s something you don’t like?”
Rolling her eyes, she says, “Mike, it’s dessert. Of course, I like it.”
I love my parents.
Daphne smiles with appreciation at Mom. “It’s a caramel apple cake with cream cheese frosting from Half Cocked. I’ve heard it’s delicious. Logan loves their cream cheese frosting from their carrot cake cupcakes.”
Aunt Faith chimes in. “It sounds delicious! Thanks so much for bringing it. I love all the apple desserts the season brings. I was thinking it’s such a pleasant night we could have dessert out on the patio and light the fire.” She gets up from the table. “I know you kids are heading out, but we’ll relax out there after you go. Does everyone want coffee with their cake?”
Our fathers trained Liam and me well, so we collect the dishes now that everyone’s finished eating. Our dads do the same.
“Do you have any tea, Aunt Faith?” I ask. “Daphne isn’t a coffee drinker.”
I place mine and Daphne’s bowls on the counter while Liam rinses the dishes to prepare them for the dishwasher.
“Oh, no! Don’t go to any trouble on my account,” Daphne protests.
But Aunt Faith assures her it’s not an issue and plugs in the electric kettle she keeps on the counter.
Kendall claps with excitement. “ Ooh! We have a spicy apple chai and a cinnamon apple rooibos! Which do you prefer?”
“Lipton?” Daphne answers with a sheepish smile.
“Daph isn’t fancy about tea,” I tell Kennie with a wink.
Mom slices the cake as Aunt Faith prepares a tray for Dad to take to the patio with the coffee mugs, creamer, and sweeteners. The water has heated for the tea, so Daphne’s preparing her mug at the breakfast bar. Uncle Will comes in from lighting the outdoor fireplace and takes the tray of cake plates and forks.
“Wow, you folks have dessert service down to a science. I’m impressed!” I say, opening the French doors off the family room to the patio that’s more like an outdoor living room.
The deck outside the main bedroom upstairs forms the roof of the space. There’s a large table for family dining and a café set for a more intimate meal for two. Conversation seating and a TV make it a fun space to watch baseball on summer evenings. The natural gas-fueled brick fireplace supplies gentle warmth against the chill of the night. This patio is nicer than most people’s living rooms.
“Oh my goodness. This space is gorgeous,” Daphne says in awe, stepping outside with her mug of tea.
“Yeah, I’d love to have a space like this one day,” I say, admiring the area.
“Me too,” she replies. “But Gran’s house isn’t right for a patio this elaborate.”
I assume we’ll move to something larger when we start a family. But first, we need to figure out what we’re doing in order to be together, so I let the matter drop.
We’ve all chosen to sit on the casual grouping of couches and armchairs rather than the outdoor dining table. I miss times like this—being with my family and Daphne. I’ve been all around the world, seeing and doing incredible things, but a simple fall evening in New Jersey is exactly where I want to be. I’m fortunate to have these people in my life. Daphne would give anything to spend a carefree Friday night with her parents and Gran, and she never will. I’ve been taking this for granted.
“Okay, let’s go!” Kendall exclaims, practically ripping my cake plate from my hand when I put my last bite in my mouth. “I’m legal now and want to play the slots! This is the first time we’ve all been out together, and I want to get going.”
“I guess that’s our cue to leave,” I say, standing and pulling Daphne up with me. We say our goodbyes to the parents and get in my Jeep. Kennie and Daphne are in the back, and Liam is riding shotgun.
“We’re going to Devil’s Den, right?” Kendall asks with her head between the front seats. “The reports on the news when it opened were fantastic. I love how it plays on the Jersey Devil legend. Is Teagan really descended from the family?”
Liam answers. “Yeah, on the maternal side. They’re witches. No shifting into the Jersey Devil. I don’t think any of them shift. I believe they used spells and misdirection to create the legend.”
Now it’s Daphne’s turn to poke her head between the seats. “You know Teagan Penhall?”
“Yeah, we grew up here and attended college together,” Liam confirms. “We’re friends.”
“Wow, I never knew you traveled in such rarefied circles,” she teases.
“Liam’s fancy like that,” Kennie chimes in as only a younger sibling can.
Instead of playing up the horn-and-tail devil stereotype they could have easily adopted, Devil’s Den embraces the old English version of a gambling den. Rich wood finishes, deep-toned leather seating, lighting that’s more reminiscent of candlelight than neon. Instead of having the female cocktail servers dressed in a bustier and heels, they wear riding pants, tall boots, and white button-down shirts, like a groom or a gentleman back from his morning ride. There isn’t excessive skin showing, but it’s sexy. My friend Caleb’s sister is a server, and she says the uniforms are extremely comfortable and their tip rates are the highest in the city. The male servers wear the same outfits, and based on the giggles from Daph and Kennie when a server named Simon took our order as we settled at a bank of slot machines, they do wonders for the male employees too.
Kennie stares after the departing server wistfully. “He totally resembles the actor who played Simon! Do you think that’s his real name or is it fake to play up on the resemblance? I wish he had the English accent. That would have been perfect. Ooh! Tell him your name is Daphne and see what happens!”
Oh, hell no. I’ve heard about this Netflix show everyone is gaga over. I’m not letting a Regé-Jean Page doppelg?nger near my Daphne.
“What the hell, Kendall? You can’t be trying to fix up my girlfriend with the cocktail server. Or anyone!” I shake my head. “Where’s your loyalty? We’re family!”
I’m slightly kidding and being melodramatic, but there’s a thread of truth to my statement, too. Just because I’ll be leaving in a few days doesn’t mean Daphne and I are done. We’re in a relationship and exclusive with each other.
Daphne knows that, right?
Oblivious to the thoughts running through my head, Daphne kisses my cheek and settles back to view the animated slot machine in front of her. It’s something with lobsters and a bunch of lines to create winning combinations. We’re in the penny slot section. It’s more about hanging out together and having fun than hardcore gambling.
Studly McStuddington is back with our drinks.
“I got the Coke,” I say when he asks.
Liam claims his Guinness beer, and the girls accept their margaritas.
Oh no. They both had wine at dinner, and now they’re adding tequila? This is going to be bad. Liam and I make eye contact. He’s thinking the same thing I am. He’ll watch Kennie and, of course, Daphne is always my focus.
We spend a little time at the slot machines. Kennie’s excited. She won twenty bucks on a crazy Yeti-themed game. I’m glad she quit while she’s ahead. We wander around the casino floor awash with the noise from the slots and observe the table games. Liam and I play a couple hands of blackjack with no luck, so we don’t mind when the girls decide they want to go to the lounge to listen to the live music. One thing that makes Devil’s Den unique is that instead of having nightclubs full of thumping bass and sweaty bodies, they have lounges with live music and drink service. It’s a bit more refined, and I like it. I enjoy the neon wonderlands of the other casinos, but sometimes it’s refreshing to be social in a lower-key atmosphere like this.
The band is very good. They’re playing bluegrass-tinged covers of songs made popular by U2, Tom Petty, Africa, and other artists of the last few decades. It’s not something you’d expect to work, but it does. There’s almost a Celtic tone to it that I appreciate. Somewhere along the way, Kendall and Daphne switch from margaritas to gross candy corn cocktails. My girl’s going to be spending her Saturday nursing one hell of a hangover if she doesn’t start drinking water and maybe get some good old greasy diner food in her to sop up the liquor.
The girls get up to dance to a rousing version of “Beautiful Day.”
Liam leans in and speaks over the music. “We have to cut them off. It’s going to be ugly. Did you smell those candy corn monstrosities? They are going to be so much worse coming up than they were going down.”
I pick up Daphne’s glass, take a sniff, and grimace.
Liam laughs. “How about we wrangle them out of here and hit the diner on the way home?”
The band announces they’re taking a break after they finish their song, and now we have a pair of giggling drunk girls back at our table. Pulling Daph in and placing a kiss on her forehead, I murmur, “How about we get out of here, stop at the diner for grub, and then go home? Kennie looks like she’s fading fast.”
That’s a total lie. For a tiny woman, Kendall can drink like a man twice her size. Being a cougar shifter, she can metabolize alcohol quickly. No way can Daphne keep up with her.
Crap, I didn’t think about that. Normally Daphne doesn’t drink, and we aren’t out in a lot of social situations, so it didn’t occur to me.
But dangling Kendall’s well-being in front of her will fix the situation. Daphne’s a nurturer, so if she thinks someone needs taking care of, she’s all for it. Under other circumstances, I’d feel guilty misleading her, but it’s for her own good.
And I’m right. Daphne’s eyes widen, and she flicks a concerned glance toward my cousin. She nods and lets me pull her toward the exit. Kendall and Liam follow close behind.
“I’ll wait for the girls. You get the car,” Liam says when the girls stop in the restroom on the walk to the valet area. Liam, Kendall, and Daphne appear as the valet returns with my Jeep. Liam’s arm hangs around a staggering Daphne, keeping her upright. I know he’s being helpful, but he’s enjoying his hand around her waist and her body pressed to his side a bit too much for my liking.
I tip the valet and open the passenger side door to help my tipsy girlfriend climb in. I’m not risking her getting carsick in the backseat. I’m suddenly grateful my vehicle is roomy enough that Liam fits in the back without having his knees under his chin.
I don’t even make it out of Atlantic City before Daphne is sound asleep, her head resting on the passenger side window as she snores loudly. I guess we’re not stopping at the diner.
Kendall leans forward between the seats. “Holy crap. She snores louder than a frat boy!” I meet Liam’s wide eyes in the rearview mirror. We silently agree we don’t want to know anything about how Kennie knows what frat boys sound like snoring.
Kennie yawns like the cougar she is and falls backward into the seat. “Wanna hit the Mickey D’s drive-thru instead of going to the diner? That way, we don’t have to get Sleeping Beauty here out of the car and keep her awake long enough to eat.”
Kennie is a genius. That is an awesome idea, so I switch lanes to turn into the McDonald’s parking lot. I order burgers, fries, and sodas for everyone, along with a hot fudge sundae for Kendall.
“What? I have a fast metabolism,” she says defensively.
The scent of greasy, salty goodness rouses Daphne. She sits up and wipes drool off her chin as I pull into a parking spot so we can eat while it’s still hot. At least I won’t have to juggle fast food bags and my girlfriend into the house if we eat it now.
“Mmpfh, so good,” the beautiful woman next to me mumbles, taking a big bite of her double cheeseburger. The slurp of her Diet Coke is the next sound to come from her, causing Liam, Kendall, and me to laugh. Other than her usual Friday night rum and Diet Pepsi to celebrate the end of the work week, Daphne isn’t much of a drinker, so for her to imbibe so much tonight is surprising. I’m glad she had fun, but I suspect some of it is because of my upcoming departure. When we all finish our midnight munching, Liam collects our trash and walks it over to the trash can.
“I had fun! Thank you!” Kendall is very perky considering how much liquor she had tonight. I guess it’s true that the big cat shifters can process alcohol much faster than other people, even other shifters. She gives me a hug from the backseat and wishes me safe travels. Liam says to text him if I need anything before I go.
After dropping my cousins at their home, I take a shortcut to get to our house so I can tuck Daphne into bed ASAP. Experience tells me this second wind of hers will be brief, and she’ll crash again soon. Ideally, I’ll have her in our bed before she conks out for good. I guess since Lady Luck wasn’t with me at Devil’s Den, she favored me by keeping Daph awake and upright long enough to get in the house and ready for bed. Before she settles under the covers, I hand her two aspirin and a bottle of water to wash them down.
Sighing, she snuggles into her pillow. “I had fun tonight, Logan. It’s been so long since we’ve gone out.”
She draws her hands under her chin like a child. She is so damn beautiful. My heart hurts. Her lashes kiss her cheeks when she closes her sleepy brown eyes. I lean over and kiss her forehead.
I straighten and am about to leave the room to double-check the locks when I hear her sigh and softly say, “Why are you leaving me? I’m so tired of being left behind. Someday, someone is going to stay with me.”
Forget hurting. My heart may be breaking. The last thing I want is for Daphne to be sad or feel like she’s being abandoned. I need to work. I need to travel to be a travel photographer. That’s why it’s called that. It’s not like there are international kite fairs happening in the backyard or the Portuguese National Horse Fair held at the Atlantic County 4H fairgrounds. I must go where the events are. I don’t know how to make her understand this. She would love experiencing these things if she’d give them a chance. I wish she’d go with me, but I don’t know how to convince her to stop being so stubborn.
After making sure everything is secure and using the bathroom, I return to the bedroom. Daphne is sleeping peacefully, lying on her side. I strip to my boxers and climb in beside her. Staring up at the ceiling, I watch shadows of the branches of an oak tree outside the window dance on her bedroom wall. I listen to the gentle breathing from the pillow next to me. She’s facing away from me since she’s most comfortable sleeping on her left side. I didn’t know that before this week of sleeping beside her. We’ve been best friends for years, but there is still so much we don’t know about each other. Little things you learn about a person being by their side, day in and day out. I want to know those things about Daph, and I want her to know them about me. I turn on my side and scoot over to spoon her. When I wrap my arm around her and snuggle up against her, she sighs and relaxes against me.
I press a soft kiss to her shoulder and whisper, “I love you.”
I wonder, when I finally say it so she can hear me, if she’ll say it back.