22. Logan
22
LOGAN
Daphne’s right. I’m not beating her at mini golf today. There’s a birthday party group playing and a couple of families, so it’s crowded. Mini golf is no fun if you feel the need to rush through the course because there’s a group waiting to tee off on the hole you’re playing.
Daphne bends down and picks up her ball with a nervous glance over her shoulder at the group behind us. She comes to my side and whispers near my ear, her gaze still flicking now and then to the group. “Want to stop playing and check out the gift shop?”
“Sure,” I say, grabbing her hand.
We turn in our putters and enter the shop. It’s a cute store, having everything from books to food mixes to Christmas ornaments and jewelry. The most important thing right now is the fact that they have sweatshirts. It’s windy here at the southern tip of New Jersey, and it’s colder than we expected.
“How about we get shirts for now and walk the beach?” Daphne suggests. “I need something more to block the wind.”
I nod. “Sounds good. If we want other souvenirs, we can come back in and get them later.”
Daphne uses the restroom while I pay for our shirts. Her absence gives me the chance to grab a necklace that caught my attention and add it to my purchase. It’s an open heart-shaped silver pendant that appears lacy with a round Cape May diamond in the center suspended from a silver chain. It’s not an expensive piece of jewelry, but it’s pretty. I can’t wait to give my love genuine diamonds and pearls, but I hope she’ll like it as a reminder of this day. After paying for everything, I slip the necklace in my pocket and tell the cashier there’s no need for a bag for the shirts since we are going to wear them now. I take the receipt and exit the store to wait for Daphne on the porch, ripping the tags off and shoving them in my pocket while waiting. I’m pulling my shirt over my head when I feel my belly being poked. I’m so surprised, I jump and give a bit of a squeal.
“Oh my goodness, you sounded like the Pillsbury Doughboy!” Her uncontrollable laughter sounds like an asthmatic seagull I know. He’s a friend of Liam’s. She wipes the tears from her cheeks and dries her damp fingers on the thighs of her jeans. I remember one time in college when she was tipsy and started laughing like this. Then she started crying because she laughed so hard, she peed herself a little. Thank goodness she used the restroom already because with how hard she’s laughing right now, I’m thinking there could be some sober leakage happening.
I glare at her sternly. “Are you done?” We both know that’s an act and I’m one goofy expression away from laughing like a loon myself.
Daph takes a deep breath and composes herself, taking her sweatshirt from my outstretched hand.
With a direct gaze, she answers, “No, not at all.”
Sighing, I thread her fingers with my own and tug her toward the beach. The wind carries her giggles away.
Even though it’s windy and cold, it’s nice to walk along Sunset Beach with Daphne, searching for Cape May diamonds. We decide not to collect any of the quartz stones, but Daph finds a pretty green piece of sea glass that we can’t leave behind. I’ve been to beautiful beaches all around the world with crystal blue water, white sand, black sand, roiling waves, calm seas—you name it, I’ve seen it. But I think this beach on the Delaware Bay at the southern tip of New Jersey is my favorite beach ever.
“Daph?”
“Yeah?”
“Are we okay?”
She gazes up at me quizzically. “Yeah. Aren’t we?”
I can’t articulate what I mean. My instinct is to leave it at that and lean in for a quick kiss. However, that won’t progress our relationship.
“I leave Monday.”
“I’m well aware of that, Logan.”
I let out a huff of frustration. Why isn’t she making this easy for me?
“I feel like there’s a lot we need to talk about before I go,” I say.
“There is,” she agrees, “but I don’t want to talk about it now.”
“Daph, come on…”
“Not now.” There’s an edge to her voice she usually doesn’t use when speaking to me.
“When?”
“Later.” She sighs, her shoulders slumping. “I just want to enjoy today. Enjoy being together while we still can.” Daphne shivers. “I’m becoming a popsicle. How about we drive back to town and check into our room? I saw a coffee shop, and if they’re still open, I want hot cocoa.”
I drop her hand and wrap my arms around her. She hugs me in return, slipping her fingers under both my sweatshirt and long-sleeved T-shirt to put her icy hands against my bare back. I let out a manly yelp because it’s like being caressed by an ice cube tray, and Daphne laughs. She’s loving torturing me today. That’s okay, I have my own ways of getting revenge.
“Yeah, I’m ready,” I say. “I wasn’t expecting it to be so much cooler here. I guess I should have. It’s late October, but it’s been mild. The air off the water makes a difference.” We disengage from our hug, and I take her hand again.
I give her chilled digits a gentle squeeze.
“Let’s warm you up. Can’t have my sunshine be cold.”
“Logan?” Daphne’s taking her turn with twenty questions, apparently. “I love that you call me sunshine. When I was little, my dad would sing ‘You Are My Sunshine’ to me when he’d tuck me in. Mom recorded it on video. I wish I had it. Our basement flooded, and it ruined our VHS videos.” Her eyes mist over. “That was when I was thirteen, so I obviously wasn’t being tucked in anymore. I didn’t realize I’d never get to hear him sing that to me again.” She takes a deep breath.
I reach out to brush away the tear slipping down her cheek. “I wish I had known your parents. I wish you still had them. It breaks my heart how much it hurts you to have lost them.” I can’t imagine the loss she’s suffered. I’ve never lost someone close to me. Even all my grandparents are still living.
Shrugging, Daphne gives a small smile. “They would’ve loved you. Well, Mom would have. She would’ve thought you were charming. Dad probably would’ve suspected you and your intentions toward his little girl.”
I wiggle my brows to lighten the mood and because we both know I have all sorts of intentions involving Daphne. Most of them are honorable and pure, but there are a few that are a bit lascivious.
It works.
She giggles and bumps her shoulder against my arm as we return to my Jeep.
“Ultimately he’d have liked you because you make me happy and you care about me. I imagine that’s what they would want for me.”
We fall into silence on our drive to Cape May. I hope the Fosters would have approved of me. All I want is to make Daphne happy and love her for the rest of our lives. I need to figure out how to make that happen and get her to open up to me. As much as I want her body—and wow, do I desire her body—I can’t wait for us to take our relationship to the next level.
However, what I truly want is her heart and for her to trust me enough to share the thoughts and fears in her beautiful head. She’s keeping stuff from me, and frankly, it hurts. We’re best friends. Forget that we’re exploring a romantic relationship. We’ve known each other for years. We should trust each other with our truths and especially our fears, not hide from each other. I don’t want to ruin our weekend by pushing her too hard, but I don’t want to leave Monday with everything unsaid.
* * *
“Oh wow, this view is magnificent!” Daph is at the window, sipping her cocoa and enjoying the view out over the grand lawn and the Atlantic Ocean. “What time is sunrise? A bit after seven in the morning, right? If we’re awake, we’ll be able to watch it.”
I wasn’t able to get a room with a balcony, but the four-poster bed faces a double window that has a window seat decorated with pale blue cushions, so we could watch the sunrise from bed, snuggling under the white duvet, or while cuddling on the window seat. The king-size bed is dark wood, but the desk, dresser, and nightstands are painted bright white. The white of most of the furnishings and bedding paired with the pale blue walls and blue striped carpeting gives the room a bit of a beach cottage feel. I guess that’s appropriate since the Atlantic Ocean is right outside our window.
“Oh my goodness,” Daphne calls out. “This bathroom is gorgeous, and the lotion smells so nice.”
I hope to rub it all over her tonight. I bet they sell it downstairs. I’ll have to get a supply for home if it feels as good as it smells.
“Where do you want to go for dinner?” I ask. “There are a lot of great restaurants in Cape May, so you can’t make a wrong choice.”
Exiting the bathroom, Daph replies, “The Ghosts of Cape May trolley tour is a quarter after seven, so we should do something on the Mall.” She quirks her lips to the side, the classic Daphne Foster thinking face. She names a restaurant we’ve enjoyed before.
“Perfect. I could go for a burger and a beer.”
Not wanting to seem like tourists, we change out of the Cape May hoodies that we bought at the Sunset Beach Gift Shop. I exchange my navy hoodie for a dark green V-neck sweater over my gray long-sleeve T-shirt, and Daphne swaps her light blue sweatshirt and T-shirt for a thin black turtleneck sweater that lovingly caresses her curves and one of my red plaid flannel shirts. What is it with her stealing my shirts? I admit, it’s much cuter on her than it is on me. She’s rolled up the sleeves since her arms aren’t as long as mine. With her blue jeans and black Converse sneakers, she’s casual but put together. I pull out my phone to take a picture of her to remember this moment.
Daph spins around to put her back to me. “What are you doing? Stop!” She hates having her picture taken. I’m amazed she agreed to do the selfies at the lighthouses.
“Sunshine, turn around. I don’t have nearly enough pictures of you. I’ve taken thousands, more likely hundreds of thousands, of pictures of people and places all around the world, but I only have a few of you.” That’s crazy. She’s the most beautiful sight in the world to me, and I haven’t captured her visage nearly enough. I could take her picture for hours every day and not do justice to how lovely she is. But I want to try. “Please?” She heaves an enormous sigh and turns back around. The pink on her cheeks is adorable. I know posing makes her feel awkward, so I hit a few buttons on my phone, walk over, and kiss her like my life depends on it. I hear the click as the phone takes a series of pictures, and I’m sure that the last shot of the two of us, with our foreheads pressed together and soft smiles on our lips, will be my favorite.
As we look through the shots, she asks, “Are you happy now?”
I love how Daphne’s head is resting back against my chest as I hold my phone in front of us to scroll through the pictures. I want to stay like this forever.
I kiss the crown of her head. “I will be once you talk to me. Can we discuss things when we come back here after our tour?”
I wrap my arm a bit more securely around her waist before she can bolt. I can feel her tense, so I loosen my hold a touch. I don’t want her to feel restrained. I’m relieved she doesn’t pull away.
“Yeah,” she sighs. “When we get back.”
Stepping away from me, she gives me the fake cheery smile she uses to hide from the world. I hate it. She doesn’t know I’ve figured out what that smile means, so I ignore it for now. We can’t keep ignoring everything and putting it off until later. We need to deal with things. But first we’ll have dinner and go on a tour.