4
Poppy
“Icannot believe I let you talk me into this,” I complain to my brother as we get situated in our seats. “You do realize this is the first hockey game I’ve been to in over three years, right?”
Jake looks at me, a mischievous grin on his face. “You mean, since Walker moved away.” He takes a long sip from his orange soda. “Walker James is the Wolves new center. I heard it on the radio.”
I rear my head back. “So, that’s why you begged me to bring you here?” I shake my head in disbelief. “Well played, traitor! You know he’ll think we’re here just for him, right?”
“I am here for him,” he says thoughtfully. “He’s still my best friend.”
Jake adored Walker from the day they met. And I loved how well Walker always treated my brother. School wasn’t always easy. Kids were cruel. A lot of people saw Jake as an easy target despite how incredibly smart he was. Walker didn’t stand for that. And before the school ever had to step in, Walker took care of it. However, one thing about Jake is that he fixates on certain things. And when Briar and Walker left, he fixated on the fact that they were gone. It took months for him to think about anything else. And now that he’s aware Walker is back, I’m afraid he’ll get his hopes up for nothing.
After all, the new Walker James spent the last three years living with his rich uncle, probably having the nicest, most expensive things at his fingertips. He isn’t the same boy we knew. The one with hunger pains in his stomach or worn-out secondhand clothes, like the rest of us. And I don’t want to see my brother getting hurt because of it.
“You know, Bonnie could have come with us.” I nudge him. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you seem a little sweet on her.”
His cheeks redden, and he smiles so hard that his nose scrunches up. “She is very pretty.”
His neighbor seems to stop in and check on him…a lot. And every time I’m around when she does, he can’t wipe the grin off of his face.
All of a sudden, Jake stands in his seat and starts waving both hands like a maniac. And when I look down, there’s Walker, skating toward us. He holds his stick up with one hand and waves with the other. As much as I want to be pissed at my brother for being so nice, I can’t push my negative attitude about the situation onto him. Jake believes in the magic in life and the good inside of people.
Me? I think that’s all a bunch of bullshit most days.
I just keep my eyes on my brother, who is living his best life right now. But once he sits down again, still grinning, I suddenly feel Walker’s stare. I don’t look at him. I’m afraid to.
Maybe the boy that I fell in love with as a kid is still in there somewhere. But I’m not willing to risk finding out.
*********
Walker
The ice has always been the one place I can count on for peace. Right now, peace is the furthest thing I feel. We’re about to win this game, and that’s great and all, but I know I didn’t fully bring my A game tonight. And that’s all because of the pretty distraction in the stands.
The distraction is named Poppy, and she makes me nervous as fuck.
I’m happy as hell that Jake is here. And I’m even happier that he waved to me and smiled. For years, I’ve worried about how his life ended up. Seeing him tonight shows me that he’s more than okay. And I think a lot of that is thanks to the girl beside him. His sister is the most protective person of him ever to live.
While I’m glad they are here, having her here is distracting as hell. I can’t focus on anything besides the fact that she’s in the stands, watching my every move. And I feel her eyes despite her refusal to look at me when I waved to her brother. But now, if I looked their way, her gaze would be on me.
She’s so fucking beautiful. Even with her resting bitch face, as she always called it, she makes it hard for me to take a breath.
I’ve scored a goal tonight and had a few assists. But I was sloppy, and I know it. Link Sterns is champing at the bit to tell me again that I’m no Cam Hardy. Maybe if I score in the last thirty-six seconds of this game, it’ll make him a little less pissed. Maybe.
I push it out of my brain that the girl I’m supposed to hate and be completely resistant to is here. I don’t think about the fact that all I want to do when the clock runs out is run up there and ask her how she’s been and hug her. But that isn’t going to fix anything. Too much shit has happened between us. She turned her back on me and didn’t do the right thing, and I abandoned her.
I still get fucking sick when I imagine the horrors she could have gone through when I wasn’t there to protect her.
Nothing will ever be the same, and I need to let her go. From my brain and my life. So, instead, I get the puck, and I fucking make it my mission to get it in the other team’s goal. Out of my peripheral vision, I see a maroon jersey headed toward me. But before he can check his body into mine, I pull my stick back and slap the puck as hard as I can toward their goal.
Everything else turns to background noise as I watch the goalie attempt to stop it—a solid attempt, but still a fail for him and a victory for me.
We won the game, and I made a goal with seconds left on the clock. And the first person I look at…is her.
And just like before, she won’t fucking look at me. And every effort it just took to get that goal means nothing to me now. And it’s all that she-devil’s fault.
“It’s public knowledge that you’re referred to as Cam Hardy’s replacement now that he’s gone pro. How do you feel about that?” the female reporter says, her deep red lips pressed together for a split second. “And does that add more pressure, or is it something that fuels your fire?”
This is the same question I’ve been asked for weeks upon weeks, just worded slightly differently. To be honest, ever since I announced my spot as the Wolves new starting center, it’s the main thing people want to talk about instead of the damn game I just played.
“You know, Hardy is one of the greatest players to ever play for Brooks. And hands down the best center. But I’ve worked hard to get to where I am. And I’ll continue to work hard too.” I shrug, giving her a small grin. “I have that same hunger not just to make it to a Frozen Four, but to also win one. Just like Hardy.”
I know I didn’t answer her question, but I’ve given them basically the same answer every time, and I’ll continue doing so. I’m not here to ruffle feathers. But I’m also not here to constantly talk about how great Hardy was.
Before she can ask me anything else, I pat her shoulder. “Thank you. Have a great night.”
And then I get the hell out of there before another vulture finds me.
I don’t bother worrying if I’m going to run into Poppy or not. If I know her, she hightailed it out of here the second the game ended. The last thing she’d want to risk was running into me. That’s been clear since I haven’t had a single run-in with her or Cade since last week when I saw her for the first time. Something tells me she’s figured out my and Lana’s practice schedule and made sure hers is the opposite.
As I walk through the half-empty stadium, making my way to the exit, I spot Hunter talking to his dance partner and wave but keep on trucking. As I head across the parking lot, I glance over at the football field. Shocked that there are two people standing in the center of it this late at night. Squinting a bit to focus my eyes more, I know it’s Poppy and Jake right away.
Since Jake was a little kid, he’s loved football. He’s obsessed with the New England Patriots and even more so with Tom Brady.
The last thing I need to do right now is talk to either of them. Especially her. But Jake came and watched my game tonight. Hell, I bet he forced his sister to bring him. I want to thank him for showing up even if I don’t want to see Poppy.
Opening my truck door, I toss my duffel in the back before heading toward them. Poppy’s hands are stuffed in the front pocket of her hoodie as she looks at Jake, smiling. I think he’s the only person who can make her smile like that.
When I walk between the bleachers, I consider turning around. She has this crazy power over me that makes me forget why I’m mad. She’s had it since we were little kids. She’d do something to piss me off, like put herself in danger, and I’d get mad, but before long…we’d be laughing again.
She’s harder now though. I can see that on her face. The world has made her tougher than she already was. And that’s something I never thought was possible.
Jake spots me just as I come into the lights. He gives me one of his huge smiles and does some sort of salute. When she sees me, it’s a much frostier gaze.
“Where’s your ball, man?” I ask him as I get a few feet away. “We could have played pass.”
“I…I left it at home. Next time, I’ll bring it, and we can.” He looks over at his sister. “Poppy and I came to watch you play tonight.”
Aside from Jake, everything about this is awkward. She’s visibly tense, just from my presence. And I can tell he’s feeling her out, seeing how receptive she is to me. I know her well enough to know that she’d never do anything that might make her brother feel uncomfortable. So, maybe I’m saved for today.
But I also feel the anger and spite radiating from her body, telling me how pissed off she is that I’m standing here.
“I saw that.” I hold my hand out, and he shakes it. “It’s so good to see you, J. You look great.”
“Thanks.” He nods. “I moved into my own apartment. And…my girlfriend, she lives next door.”
I don’t miss the surprise on her face when he drops the word girlfriend. And he notices it, too, because he grins, tipping his chin up at her.
“She is my girlfriend.”
“Way to drop that bomb, J,” she mutters, widening her eyes at him.
“Holy shit, man. That’s amazing.” I can’t help but pull him in for a hug. “I’ll have to come check out your place sometime.”
“Yeah. Yeah, you should.” He nods again as I release him. “Poppy can bring you.”
I don’t even have to look at her to know she’s likely rolling her eyes at the thought of bringing me anywhere. But because she doesn’t want to make him feel bad, she says nothing.
“Sounds good.” I glance back at where I came from before jerking my thumb. “Well, I need to get home. It was nice to see you, bud.”
“You too,” he agrees, glancing over at his sister like he wants her to say something.
Of course, she doesn’t. She simply gives him a tiny, unnatural smile.
“We should get going too. I have to be up early,” she tells him before she begins walking toward the sideline.
Once she gets far enough away from us, I shuffle slowly next to Jake.
“She’ll forgive you,” he says quietly. “Someday.”
I don’t have the heart to tell him there’s far more to it than he knows. I’d have to forgive her too. For lying. For not taking my side. But he doesn’t need to get caught up in all that.
So, I chuckle and hold my fist out once we reach the exit. “See you soon?”
Looking down, he bumps his fist into mine. “See you soon.”
As they walk away, I notice they are heading toward the sign where the bus stops a few times an hour. And then it hits me—they must have been wasting time until the next bus comes. She doesn’t have a car, and I don’t know if he drives or not.
Having an internal battle with myself, I wish I could just give him a ride and leave her ass at the bus stop. No, that’s not fucking true. As much as I want to hate her, the thought of her on the bus drives me insane.
“Do you guys need a lift?” I call behind them and watch her face contort into pure annoyance.
“No,” she says at the same time her brother yells, “Yes, please.”
As he heads toward me, she grabs his hand. “J, we planned to ride the bus. We like the bus. Right?”
“No one likes the bus,” he says matter-of-factly. “I want to ride with Walker. He probably has a big truck.”
I cringe because I do indeed have a big, very fancy truck now. And the thought of Poppy seeing it while she’s been spending her days taking the bus places makes me feel like fucking shit.
He grins when she reluctantly releases his arm, and he heads toward me. “Which truck is yours?”
Grimacing inside, I point to the blacked-out Chevy on the end. “That black one right there.”
Wasting no time, he heads toward it.
And slowly, she starts toward where I’m still standing. “Look, I don’t know what you’re trying to do here, but pick another person. Don’t bring Jake into whatever fucked up game you’re playing.”
“What the hell are you even saying?” I scowl at her, holding my arms out. “It’s a fucking ride home. If you don’t like it, don’t come with us.”
She looks amused—and angry—by my words. “Oh…oh, wow. You really think I’d let your selfish ass be responsible for getting him home? You didn’t seem to care much about him before tonight. So, no. I’ll be riding with you tonight, asshole. But know this: Don’t mess with my brother. Or you’ll regret it.”
I stand tall, and she finally looks at me. Though it’s not the look I’m used to. Her eyes have always been filled with pain. But now…that pain is replaced with something worse.
Hate.
“Am I supposed to be scared of you, Poppyseed?” I toss my head back. “Funny. Nice to see you’re still bitchy.”
“Nice to see you’re still a douche,” she sasses back before pushing past me and heading toward my truck. “Oh, and glad to see your uncle gave you everything you ever wanted,” she mutters. “Guess all of your dreams have come true.”
As she climbs into the backseat, slamming the door shut behind her, I drag my hand over my face. Five minutes. Five fucking minutes, and she’s already driving me insane.
Before I left Sunset Drive, she looked at me like I’d hung the moon and all the stars. Now…well, now, she looks at me like she does every other human being. With absolute loathing and disappointment.
I’m supposed to hate her. She’s supposed to be dead to me. But right now, the way my heart is racing from her sweet cinnamon scent hitting my nose when she walked by or the way her plump lips just mouthed off, sending a jolt right to my cock…it doesn’t feel like hate.
*********
Poppy
Luckily, Walker says it’s late, so he’ll see Jake’s place another day. I didn’t want to have to go inside the apartment and visit any more tonight. This entire ride has been spent with Jake and him chatting and me staring out the window, reminding myself how much I love my big brother.
As we drop Jake off in front of his door, I push my door open and climb out, slamming it quickly. I wait for Jake to say his good-byes, and once he does, he exits the truck and comes and hugs me.
“Thanks for taking me,” he says, slowly releasing me. “I’m sorry if tonight made you sad.”
I give him a small smile and shake my head. “No, no. It was fun. We will do it again.”
He and I went to a lot of Brooks football games, but never hockey, until tonight.
I’d rather go watch the golf team all day before attending another hockey game. But I’m not going to piss in his Cheerios and tell him that.
Once he heads inside, I awkwardly walk past Walker’s truck and head toward the bus stop, unsure why he isn’t leaving.
“Poppy, what the fuck are you doing?” Walker says from his now-open window.
Ignoring him, I pull my hood up and keep walking until I’m under the streetlight before sitting on the bench. Pulling my phone out, I see the next bus will arrive in about nine minutes. If Walker continues to sit in the parking lot across the way, staring at me, this will make for a really freaking awkward wait.
Suddenly, his door flies open, and he stalks toward me. I continue staring at my phone. However, because I have no social media, there isn’t much to look at. So, I check my emails, which are also nonexistent.
“Get the hell in my truck. I’m taking you home,” he growls next to me. With each second I stay seated, he grows more agitated. “I’m not fucking playing. I’m tired. I’m sore. And I want to go home.”
“Poor baby,” I say childishly before I continue to ignore him.
Because honestly, I don’t know who the hell he thinks he is. Showing up here, pretending like he actually cares about any of us. I’m not buying it.
“You’ve got till the count of three to march your bitchy ass across the parking lot and climb into my truck.” His voice is low and annoyed. “Or I’ll throw you over my shoulder and take you there myself.” He pauses. “And judging by how skinny you are these days, that shouldn’t be a problem.”
“I’ll just scream for help.” I shrug. “And then you’ll look like a creep.”
“I’ll just cover your mouth.”
The words come out so gritty. And because I’m clearly deranged, they send a shiver right down my spine … and right between my legs.
Pull it together, girl.
Finally, I shove my phone in my pocket and glance up at him. For once, I really let myself look at him. His hair is a bit longer than I remember him ever having it. He looks like a true puck boy now. He seems to have shot up a foot in height since the day he left me crying on the sidewalk. And he’s doubled in size. And from the way his Wolves shirt hugs his arms and chest … he’s all muscle now.
His eyes … they are the same. But he doesn’t smile. Not one bit. He just glares down at me, waiting for me to oblige him. Apparently, he’s forgotten who I am.
I guess he needs some reminding.
“Why would I get a ride home with you, Walker James?” I shrug, a bored look on my face. “You’re the last person I want to or should be riding with.”
“And you’re the last person I want in my truck. Spreading your lies all over it,” he bites back. “But if you think for one fucking second that I’m leaving you at this bus stop this late at night, you have another thing coming.”
When he leans down, I punch his stomach. “Touch me, and I’ll fucking punch you in the dick next time. Try me,” I hiss.
His hand flies to the spot where I hit him, and he grinds his teeth together. “What the fuck, Poppy?” He’s mad. “Jesus fucking Christ, you’re in-fucking-sane.”
He stands there for a moment, breathing in and out and rubbing the spot where I hit him. But suddenly, when I glance up, his gaze relaxes. And slowly, he leans down, but this time, not so close.
“Let me take you home, Poppy,” he says softly. “I know you hate me. I get it. But I just want to make sure you get home safe.” His head tilts slightly. “Let me do that, please.”
“No,” I say, shaking my head, though I can’t stop my hard exterior from melting the slightest bit. “I don’t want to go anywhere with you.”
“I can’t just leave you here, Pop,” he drawls so smoothly, and my heart races.
It’s like I’m seeing the old Walker. My Walker.
My heart and my head are so confused. I know I should push him backward and not fall for his charm. But, God, he makes it so hard. And when his hand reaches for me and he brushes a strand of loose hair from my cheek, tucking it behind my ear, I’m completely frozen. I should get up and run away. Yet, instead, my breath hitches, and I wait to see what he’ll do next.
He crouches down so that he’s eye level with me, and his gaze flicks to my lips. If he kissed me right now … I’m not sure if I could resist it. I know it wouldn’t be the right thing to do, but I’ve wanted him for so long.
Waited for him for so long.
His head dips closer, and on instinct, my eyes flutter a few times before closing. My heart pumps so hard that I hear it in my ears as I wait for his kiss.
My first kiss ever.
And just when I think he’s going to kiss me, his hands slide to my waist, and he quickly throws me over his shoulder before standing up.
As he walks us toward his truck, it takes me a few seconds to realize what is happening. But when I do … I’m pissed off.
“You … you—” I start to growl through gritted teeth.
“Got you all fucking hot and bothered just so that I could get you in my truck without getting punched in the dick?” I can hear the smirk in his voice. “Yeah, Poppyseed, I sure did.”
Pulling the door open, he acts like my body flailing as I fight him is nothing. Quickly, he drops me down in the seat.
“Poppy, Poppy, Poppy,” he drawls slowly. “You should know better. You really think I’d kiss you after all you’ve done?”
“I don’t want to kiss you, prick,” I hiss. “You’re the last person I’d ever want to kiss!”
His smirk only deepens. He’s clearly amused, looking at me like I’m a joke. “When your lips parted and your eyes shut … that told me otherwise.”
Pulling the seat belt around me, his hand brushes my thigh as he secures it. And dammit if I don’t feel another lightning bolt shoot right between my legs.
“Nice gothic nails. Matches your soul.”
“Fuck off,” I hiss.
“Know this, Poppyseed: When it comes to me, you won’t win. You won’t win the battles, and you sure as hell won’t be winning any wars.” He pats my head and then taps his finger on my nose. “Remember that.”
As he closes the door and walks around to the driver’s side, I’m ashamed of myself for being so pathetic tonight. I gave him the power and let him see the effect he still has on me.
But he’s wrong about one thing: I might have lost this battle. But I’m sure as hell going to win the war.