Chapter Thirty - Leigh
My heart pounds against my ribs. I think I’ve found Fynn, and Kosac is going to lead us to him. He’s somewhere near the river, and if we go now, we’ll see him, rescue him, and go home.
I reach for the door handle of the guard’s office, but Wilder grips my wrist.
“What are you doing?”
“Fynn! We need to follow them to the river. They think I’ve found him.”
Anticipation sings through my veins. I grab for the latch again.
Wilder shakes his head. “We’re not going anywhere with a half-cocked plan.”
I can’t help but smirk. “I don’t recall anything ever being half-cocked between us.”
He frowns, gravely. “I’m serious, Leigh. Let’s think this through for a second. Why would Kosac have Fynn at the river?”
I groan, the need to act burning inside me like a fever.
Wilder is too suspicious. Kosac didn’t know we were down here, and he let it slip that Fynn would be at the river.
His mistake is our gain. “Wilder, I want to go home. I want to bring Fynn back safely, put on my dream dress, and marry you in front of everyone. Today has been a nightmare, but it’s almost over.
” I’m desperate to get him on my side. We are debating the wrong things. “Please, don’t fight me on this.”
It doesn’t matter why Kosac has Fynn at the river. What matters is that Fynn is there.
“I want that, too, but we also need to take precautions. What are we going to find when we get there? Will Kosac have Fynn alone, or will the Dullahan be with them?”
The words nearly undo me, but I force myself to stay focused. “There’s no time to overthink. We can hatch a plan on the way.”
He still doesn’t budge. I meet his gaze; the green of his eyes looks duller. So does his skin.
“Are you feeling okay?” I ask.
Wilder wipes the light sheen of sweat from his brow as if this conversation were exhausting him. He’s fading, and fast. Wilder can’t stay in Mictlan much longer. “I’m fine.”
“We should go. Please, trust me.”
“I’m trying,” he says, voice rough.
I push the door open. If Fynn isn’t at the river, I’ll have to convince Wilder that he can’t stay.
I pray to whatever gods can hear me that Fynn is there because Wilder needs to go home.
It’s for his own good. But if Fynn isn’t there, I know he’ll still refuse to leave without me, which means I will have to force him to go or watch him die.
Wilder and I walk along the crumbling cobblestone path that leads from the castle down to the river. The Acheron flows through Glaucus like blood pumping through an artery, but it lies silent, no rushing water, just a smooth surface glimmering beneath the peculiar half-light of Mictlan’s sky.
I don’t see Kosac or Henrietta anywhere, but the castle’s impending presence presses against my back.
Wilder trails behind me, moving slower than usual along the river’s edge. He keeps his eyes fixed on the trees lining the opposite side of the path.
“Leigh, wait,” Wilder calls after me, several paces behind. “He’s not here, and even if he were, I doubt Kosac would just hand him over. You said you’d convince him, but that doesn’t sit right with me. He could demand anything from you, and you’d just agree willingly?”
I frantically glance left and right. Fynn has to be here … Kosac made it sound like he was. If I’m wrong, I don’t know what to do. Should I go back to the castle? Wait around for Kosac to appear? We are running out of time. Wilder is out of time.
He looks ghostly. Each breath takes an effort.
I’m close to solving this mystery and can stay here a little longer. But Wilder needs to leave. It’s for his own good, and I’ll do anything—say anything—to save his life.
He is in danger, and I refuse to watch him die.
I turn to face Wilder just as he jogs up to me. Our breath fogs in the cool air. Sweat beads on his temples despite the chill. My heart pounds. I’m prepared to fight to get him to see reason and go back home.
“Fynn isn’t here, and we are running out of time before Ravi closes the portal. You should go back, tell him to wait a little longer. Hold off any daemons so that it is safe for Fynn and me to come through,” I say, letting determination ooze into my voice.
“Leave now?” Wilder asks.
I nod. “I’ll be right behind you.”
“Leigh, stop,” he says. “For the thousandth time, I’m not leaving you here. What if something happens to both of you? We either go home together, or we don’t go at all. End of story.”
I frown. When it’s time to leave, he might not have enough strength to get home. “You don’t have any faith in me, do you?”
“Kosac is messing with you. Can’t you see that? First the party, and now this? If Fynn were here, we would have already found him. I know this realm doesn’t affect you the way it does me, but Leigh, I know you can feel that something is very, very wrong here.”
Yeah, I understand, but that’s my burden to carry, not his.
“You’re right; this realm affects me differently, which is why you should go. Fynn is here somewhere, and I am going to find him. I’d be able to if you weren’t stopping to warn me about the dangers of this place me every five seconds. I see them, feel them, but you don’t have to.”
Nostrils flaring, Wilder says, “Kosac is playing with you like a puppet.”
“Maybe, but I’m not giving up.”
“We can’t trust anything he says. He wants you to believe this realm is different from the stories, but look around, Leigh—it’s worse.”
I laugh dryly. “I’m not an idiot. Those ghosts at the party are all in Kosac’s service.
They work for him, and in return, he gives them something—eternal comfort, power over the unworthy ghosts, or whatever.
If Kosac deals in leverage, then so can I.
You’re right, I’ll do whatever it takes to get Fynn back, but I’ll do it alone.
You’re sick. This realm is killing you, and I can’t keep searching for Fynn if I am worried about you, too. ”
“Whatever it takes,” Wilder mutters. “I hate the sound of that—”
“What choice do I have?”
“I don’t know.”
I reach for him, ready to plead for his life. “You can’t stay. I’m not giving you a choice. Go home, wait for me there. I refuse to return to a world where you are no longer in it because you wasted away here. I refuse.”
Hurt flashes across his face. “That’s not fair. I told you I am fine.”
My own desperation erupts and overflows.
“No, you’re not being fair. You aren’t listening to me.
You are sick, Fynn is still missing, and Ravi could be moments away from sealing us in here for good.
Hell, maybe Ravi already locked us in here.
Or maybe they are all dead on the beach because daemons killed them. ”
“Stop it.”
“No, you stop. Why can’t you let me take care of you? ‘Through sickness and health’ starts now.” My voice cracks. “I won’t fail you like I failed Aradia.”
Wilder stands his ground. “I love you, that’s why I can’t leave you.”
“You have to try,” I shout, fists shaking.
He steps closer, a wall of heat in this frozen place. I glare back, refusing to yield. “Leigh, stop, I can handle myself. You need to have more faith in me.”
“You are dying.”
“No, I’m not.”
I need to push him harder if I want to win this argument. “Maybe this was a mistake—us getting married. Look where it has led us?” I gesture wildly around me, while inside my heart is breaking. “If fate wanted us to be together, we wouldn’t be here.”
“Fate? You did this!” Wilder’s words cut through the air between us. I flinch. He softens, but it’s too late. We are finishing this now. “You should have left Aradia’s death alone. You wanted to entangle your soul with hers? Aradia’s been gone for over a century—she doesn’t belong in our world.”
Hysteria brews inside me. He has a right to be angry.
I ruined everything, but I won’t be the reason his family has to mourn his death back home.
“No, you don’t belong in my world. We are too different; we want different things.
You are a Blade, and I am the queen. You stick to what you excel at, and I will do the same.
Maybe we should be grateful that we’ve realized we aren’t compatible now, rather than three years from now. Go back home, Wilder. Forget about me.”
“That’s not fair. You don’t mean that.”
“Life isn’t fair. Then you die. Ask Aradia,” I say, forcing as much sincerity into my voice as I can when all I want to do is hold him, kiss him, tell him nothing I just said is true.
With a gulp, I stand my ground.
Wilder studies me, searching for signs that I’m lying, but I keep my features statuesque while I’m crumbling inside. “I can’t believe you just said that to me.”
I shake my head. “Please, just leave. Get out of here while you still can.”
He inches closer, and I intentionally step back. If he touches me, I’ll fall apart. I need to stay strong. It’s safer back in Glaucus. We can work things out between us later. “I’ll go.”
My chest finally expands fully. “Good.”
With his hands clenched into fists, Wilder starts to walk back up the river. Each step is heavy, and his body is hunched, as if he is thoroughly weary.
Somewhere in the distance, just barely audible over the steady rhythm of my pulse, is taunting laughter, as if Mictlan itself is mocking me.