Chapter Thirty-Six - Gianna
It’s wedding day.
I pull back the curtains, and darkness swallows the room I share with Meg in its navy-blue hue.
I’m too anxious to sleep, needing everything to go perfectly today, which is why I’m up just before dawn to take a shower and go over my to-do list again.
Meg mutters something incoherent in her sleep, still curled in the sheets, looking cute in her matching pajama set—lavender with whimsical unicorns and ruffles.
I grin at the sight of her all cozy and carefree. She really is something else.
I could crawl back into bed beside her, tuck myself into the warmth, and forget about all the things that need to be done. For a moment, I let myself hover on the edge of that temptation.
Today isn’t about me. It’s about Leigh and Wilder. If I want to avoid delays, I need to be dressed, fed, and ready to drag Leigh out of bed (her claims of sleeping alone are about as believable as the flying unicorns on Meg’s pajamas—everyone knows unicorns are land dwellers).
I’m almost to the bathroom when a sharp knock rattles the wooden door. Not now. The day is scheduled to the minute; anyone not on my itinerary can come back later. Plus, I need to look effortless, and that takes actual effort.
The knock comes again.
I sigh, frustration knotting my shoulders. “Go away.”
“It’s Cynthia.” Leigh’s mother’s voice has my chest pounding like mad. Why is she here?
Leigh had better be okay, or else there will be hell to pay.
I open the door and smile at Cynthia. Her blonde hair is a mess—frizzy and unkept—and her usually flawless makeup looks rushed and worn out. She’s tall, about the same height as Leigh, which usually makes her tower over me, but her shoulders are hunched, and her limbs tremble.
“Heavens, are you all right?” I ask, opening the door wider. I’ve seen this woman out of sorts only one other time in my life: the night her husband and son died.
Needles pierce my throat, my skin, and my eyes. Oh gods. Leigh?
“How could you?”
I suck in a breath. “I’m sorry?”
“I just had a visit from President Dyer.”
“Oh?” My mind races through various scenarios regarding the president’s visit with Cynthia and how it might be connected to me. I come up short. Janus hasn’t spoken to me directly in ages.
“Leigh is missing,” she says, her voice low and urgent.
“Janus informed me that she has been unaccounted for since last night. There’s something about a rift to another world, daemons, and a lost boy who isn’t truly lost, but that’s beside the point.
My daughter is missing and so is Wilder.
The president has decided to seal the portal with Leigh still inside, as per my daughter’s orders.
When I asked when Leigh gave these orders, she told me it was last night, while we were still at the party. She said you knew!”
I gasp. Why would Leigh go through the portal? “I can assure you, Cynthia, I had no idea Leigh was gone. Yes, Ry told me about the daemons last night. He asked on behalf of the Council and Leigh to keep up appearances while they dealt with the threat, but—”
“You didn’t think to tell me?” she shrieks.
“I didn’t want to worry you or Queen Jorina. When I didn’t get an update after the meeting, I assumed the daemons were handled. I thought I was helping.”
“Helping my daughter make a reckless decision. If I had known about the rift, I could have stopped her. If I had been made aware, I would have seen the signs.” She inhales shakily.
“Gods, there were signs. I thought they were just nerves, but she was planning to go into that rift the entire time to rescue a child who happens to share her brother’s name. ”
I stand there, stunned. Why didn’t Leigh tell me her plans? I’m supposed to be her best friend, yet I had no idea any of this was going on. My knees feel weak, but I lean against the door frame to keep myself upright.
I’ve planned a wedding for two people I might never see again. How did this happen?
Cynthia’s eye ticks in a tiny spasm—she’s more rattled than she lets on. If Leigh doesn’t return, she’ll have lost her husband, son, and daughter. She will have no one left.
Should I have told Cynthia about the daemons at the party last night? She was so happy there, and I didn’t want to take that away from her. Throughout my life, I’ve made it my goal to keep everyone around me happy, but I always end up making things worse.
Shit. “Cynthia, I am so sorry. What can I do?”
“It’s too late. Leigh is gone.”
I shake my head. “No, please. I can talk to Ry and the others and get an update; maybe Janus was mistaken.”
Tears stream down Cynthia’s face, and the urge to make things better between us overwhelms me.
“Does Queen Jorina know about Leigh?” If she doesn’t, we need to move fast—talk to the Blades, corroborate Janus’s story, and get our facts straight before the queen learns the truth and everything else falls apart.
She laughs harshly. “Of course not. This news will devastate Jorina. Leigh’s her only grandchild.
That’s why you’re going to tell her instead of me.
Face the consequences of keeping secrets from us.
” With that, she turns on her designer heels and marches away, leaving behind a cloud of rose-scented perfume and despair.
I close the door. Anything I say will send the already ailing queen into a tailspin.
“Gianna?” Meg’s sleepy voice from behind makes me wince.
I hope she heard everything so I don’t have to repeat it. I don’t have the strength.
Meg sits up, puts on her glasses, and studies me intensely.
“Leigh and Wilder are missing?” she confirms.
I nod, gutted. “Why did they keep this from me all night?” I snap. “I could have helped. Not just with damage control; I could have lent a hand. I could have … done something.”
“Yeah, but maybe they were afraid you’d be upset. You put so much into this wedding.” I flinch. “It’s been your only focus for quite some time now. Every detail had to be perfect.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “That’s because Leigh’s my best friend.”
“Is that the only reason?” Meg presses.
A hollow laugh escapes me. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Tears threaten to fall. I want to help. I want to make Leigh happy.
She took me in after I got out of rehab and had nowhere else to go.
Elio abused me. My mom allowed it. Besides Stellan, Leigh is my family.
I didn’t want to disappoint her, but maybe I took on too much.
Maybe I feared she’d resent me if I didn’t go above and beyond to please her.
It’s what I’m used to, having survived a terrible childhood where being agreeable kept me from endless ridicule.
Except Leigh’s gone, and none of that matters.
I wish she felt like she could have come to me, confided in me.
“You’re hurting.”
I roll my eyes. “Excellent insight, you must be psychic.”
Meg purses her lips. “Gianna. I’m not your enemy. You don’t have to hide from me.”
“I’m sorry, I’m just scared. And now I have to tell Jorina her granddaughter is gone? She’ll blame me.”
“Why? You didn’t force Leigh through that rift.”
I sigh. “Everyone has always thought the worst of me.”
Although I try to change, I still seek to please others. I turned down Ry’s proposal and prioritized myself. It was a step in the right direction, but it clearly wasn’t enough. I’m still trying to make sure everyone around me is happy and content. But what about others doing the same for me?
“Whoever made you think that can go to hell,” Meg replies.
I laugh. “Elio’s already there.”
“Good.”
My heart constricts. “I should have told Cynthia about the daemons.”
“You didn’t have all the facts. How were you supposed to know Leigh would disappear? She asked for help with her wedding, you gave it, and Ry asked you to keep the daemons a secret last night, so you did. You are not at fault here.”
I dig my nails into my palms—an old habit to hold back tears, which I should just let fall. Meg isn’t going to judge me. She never has.
“I should get dressed.” If I’m going to face Queen Jorina, I can’t do it in my nightgown.
I trudge toward the bathroom, but Meg stops me before I can barricade myself behind the door.
I need to cry—so badly it aches in my chest. Leigh is gone, and she may never come back.
She promised me she wouldn’t die, but I promised myself that my compulsive need to make others happy ended with Elio’s death. I guess we are both liars.
“What is it you want, Gianna?” she asks. “Do you even know what will make you happy?”