Chapter Forty-Six - Soter
I missed the last train out of Glaucus. The whole city is celebrating Leigh and Wilder’s wedding, with posters of them plastered over every building and bus stop. Someone tried to sell me a ceramic tea set and a matching towel with Wilder’s face on it. I just said hell no, and kept walking.
Giving up the commander position was probably the hardest, yet also the easiest, thing I’ve ever done.
My father has already sent multiple messages of disappointment and the usual jabs about how unsurprising it is that I quit.
I’ve always been a letdown, a joke to him.
I’ll never be like Keris—and honestly, that’s a good thing.
My brother sucks. I’m over trying to be like them; it won’t make me happy, and they don’t seem to care about who I am or what matters to me.
The one thing that would bring me joy is out of reach now, since there’s no way she would look at me twice after I demoted myself.
It’s time to leave the past behind and start living by my own rules.
Alone at the Weiss Train Station, I lean against a pillar and pull a cigarette from my pocket.
I snap my fingers to summon my flame. I take a deep inhale.
The familiar burn at the back of my throat fades into the numbness I’ve been chasing.
Bliss from the first drag lasts only a moment, then I’m empty again.
I take another drag.
“Miss, the platform’s closed,” someone shouts.
“I’m looking for someone.”
My heart jolts. I drop my cigarette and grind it under my boot.
From the mouth of the corridor, under flickering gas lamps, Isolde strides right onto the platform, radiant in her pink bridesmaid dress, tattoos on display, blue hair falling in loose waves.
Those heels are too high, but they make her legs look unfairly long. She’s stunning—and she’s here.
“The last train left an hour ago,” the ticket salesman explains.
“No,” Isolde breathes.
My heart wavers. What is Isolde doing here? Surely, she wasn’t planning to make the trip back to Borealis wearing that dress and those shoes.
“I’m sorry, miss,” the salesman says, his tone softening. “You can buy a ticket for the morning, but nothing leaves until seven.”
Isolde nods. “Thanks. Can I have a minute?”
“Five. Then I lock up.”
“I’ll be gone before then,” she promises.
The salesman disappears back into the warm glow of the station interior.
Isolde stands there, hugging herself and staring down the tracks.
She can’t be here for me. Maybe she just wanted to leave the wedding early? But there’s no luggage, nothing but her and her phone.
She clutches her phone and starts typing. A second later, mine buzzes in my pocket. When I look at the screen, all breath leaves my lungs.
Isolde
I’m sorry.
I wait, staring at the screen, heart pounding. Then, more messages come, one after another.
Isolde
I made a mistake.
Isolde
I was scared.
Isolde
I have trust issues.
Isolde
But I mean it when I say, I’m ready to try. If you are?
Isolde
Please, stop hiding and talk to me.
I freeze. Sol knows I’m here.
She turns, and her eyes find mine.
I step fully out from behind the pillar. “How did you know?”
She glances around the deserted platform. “I sensed someone lurking in the shadows.”
I laugh. “You always were good at your job.”
“Yeah,” she says, taking a breath, “but I wasn’t so good at being yours.”
I let that hang—painful and true.
“Why are you here, Isolde?”
Her heels click on the old tiles as she draws closer. “You got my texts.”
“I did.”
“Then you know I came for you.”
“Sure, but what does that mean?” I hold her gaze, trying to hold myself together despite my heart pounding a mile a minute in my chest. “I was clear last night. We aren’t sneaking around anymore. If I’m not enough, then find someone who is.”
She licks her lips, gloss catching the outdoor light. I want nothing more than to taste her.
“You stepped down as commander … Was that for me?”
I shake my head, an incredulous laugh breaking out. “No? That was for me.”
She nods. “You could’ve told me.”
“Was I supposed to?”
She steps closer, raising her chin. “As your girlfriend, I have a right to know. Why’d you do it? I thought you cared more about the title than about me.”
Is she for real? I thought she wanted me to have the title so we could be together, and she’d be proud of me. All this time, I thought I had to prove myself to her. To everyone. “My girlfriend?”
She nods, daring me to protest with her intense stare. “Don’t tell me you don’t want to be my boyfriend. I’ve already told everyone at the party you are, so if I go back alone, I’ve got a lot of explaining to do. But if you’re going to let me down, please do it gently.”
I blink. She told people about us?
“I wasn’t ashamed of you; I was ashamed of myself and stuck in the past. Not to mention, selfish with your heart. Will you forgive me?” Sol’s voice almost sounds childlike.
Stillness stretches between us. Above, warm station lights flicker.
Everything I thought I knew was wrong. Isolde didn’t want me to be Wilder.
The world didn’t stop spinning because I said no to my father, and now, she’s asking for my forgiveness, giving me the choice to refuse her when she’s all I ever wanted.
“Please?” she whispers, and my heart fucking breaks.
I pull her close, and the press of my mouth against hers muffles her gasp. She melts into me, grabbing on tightly and kissing me back with all the wild longing I have desired from her for years. I remember the first time I saw her, the first time she kissed me, and that first I love you.
Gods, she feels like home.
I want this. I want her for the rest of my life. I want her beside me, every damn night and morning. I want her, always.
“I love you, Isolde Faez,” I mutter softly against her mouth. “Do you love me, too? Even if I am nothing special?”
She parts her lips, tongue flicking against mine.
“You are special to me,” she whispers.
“Yeah?”
“Yes.” Her nails bite my shoulders. “I fucking love you.”
I groan, drunk on emotion. “We should get out of here before they lock us in.”
“Or”—she grins—“we could fool around in one of the empty train cars.”
My pulse thunders. “What if we get caught? It would be awkward for two Blades to get arrested.”
She laughs, the low, sultry sound sending shivers down my spine. She grabs my hand. “Come on, before I change my mind.”
“Too late. All sales are final.”
Isolde glances back as she climbs the steps into the first empty train car, eyes gleaming with challenge. She pulls me up with her, then drags me against her for a deep, rough kiss that leaves me dizzier than nicotine.
“Don’t worry,” she whispers against my lips. I hold her close, unwilling to let her go now that I have her. She’s mine, and I won’t accept anything less. Finally, my world feels right. “This time, I’m all in.”