Chapter 9
NINE
Olivia watched Izan walk toward her, a sheepish expression on his face that she’d never seen before. She was familiar with a few of his facial expressions—focused at work, laughing during one of those backyard cookouts.
“You’re mad at me.” He stopped at the end of the bed. “Or mad that you got hurt?”
“My head aches too much for me to be angry.” She also wasn’t sure she should be, given he’d essentially admitted that he liked her. Sure, he hadn’t been aware she could hear the entire conversation.
You’re serious about her. You like this woman.
Olivia smoothed down the blanket. “Are you just going to stare at me?”
He squeezed her foot gently through the blanket and deposited a fast-food bag on the rolling table. “I’m glad you’re well enough to give me a hard time.”
She chuckled. Was she supposed to just straight up ask him if he liked her? Or was he going to ask her out? He’d done that a couple of times, and she had shut him down. Now she wondered what might’ve happened if she hadn’t worried how things would go down when everyone found out who her mom was.
“Happy to oblige.” Olivia lifted her gaze, smiling.
Caught the soft look on his face.
Yeah, definitely wondering what might’ve happened.
He cleared his throat. “So, you heard me talking to my sister.”
She nodded. No backing down or backing out of this.
“I’ve liked you for a while. You probably know that.”
“I wondered if you still did.”
He said, “The feeling hasn’t gone anywhere. But you never gave me an opening to ask you out again.”
Because she’d been too afraid of what might happen. “There are things you don’t know about me.”
“You have family who are cartel members as well?”
She wanted to laugh, but it wasn’t really a joke.
Before she could say anything, he shifted to sit on the edge of the bed by her feet. “I didn’t entirely tell you the truth about Sosa. About me not knowing him. Kind of.”
Olivia frowned. Her head pounded where Alonzo had shoved her at the fence and knocked her out. She didn’t like powerful narcotics, so she’d only let the doctor give her something over-the-counter. It was sort of working, but she wasn’t willing to take anything else.
“So what is the truth?”
Izan let out a long sigh. “I used to come home from a twenty-four-hour shift and find someone had been there while I was working. Looked like they’d thrown a party and left the cups and debris all over the living room and kitchen.
I called the cops a couple of times, but with no suspects and no evidence, there wasn’t much they could do about it unless I got cameras. ”
“You never told me about that.”
He shrugged. “I wasn’t going to ask for a favor.”
“Any sign of a break-in?”
“Nope. And I never knew for sure who it was coming in the house, but it stopped when Sosa was arrested.”
“Did they take anything?”
His lips curled up.
“I’m just asking. I am a cop.”
“I know you’re asking because you care. That’s not in question.”
He thought it was because she cared about any citizen of Last Chance County, people she had sworn to protect. That she treated him no differently than anyone else in town. But that only meant she had successfully hidden her feelings from him. Maybe too well.
“I’m asking because it’s you, because I care.”
Izan held her gaze with that steady stare of his.
“You’re an interesting guy, Izan Collins.
” A dichotomy. A Hispanic man raised by Protestant Anglo-Saxon parents, who still felt a connection to his roots.
Only, he couldn’t go there, because those roots were poison.
He probably yearned to know more about his family, but with both of his parents dead and the people who’d known them either criminals or deceased, there wasn’t much chance of finding out about them.
It likely colored how he saw the world. Not quite feeling like he fit. Knowing there had been something else out there for him, but having to come to terms with the fact he’d never know.
“I don’t mean that in a bad way,” she said. “I am a cop. I need a good mystery to solve.”
“Still not sure that’s a good thing.”
She smiled. “It’s a good thing.”
“So if I ask you out again, you’re gonna say yes?”
Her smile faltered. “There are things you don’t know.”
Now she was repeating herself. He would probably get frustrated and walk away, like all the others.
Not that she had dated this long list of men who didn’t try hard enough to break through the barriers she put up.
But Olivia wanted someone to believe she was worth the effort to try.
To put in the work to convince her that her fears were unfounded.
Instead of acting like everyone else in her life—bosses, teachers, friends—and dismissing her because of where she’d come from.
“I’d love to hear them,” he said softly, laying his hand on hers.
She intertwined her fingers with his, enjoying the feel of his warm hand against hers. “I just…I don’t let people in. I do my job, and I go home. I’ve never brought anyone home. Not even in school. I used to go to my friends’ houses.”
“The way we are is often about where we’ve been or the things that have happened to us. You protect yourself from being vulnerable.” Izan paused. “I’m guessing a cop is the strongest person you know.”
“It’s what I wanted to be as soon as I knew what they did.”
“Did you know a cop when you were growing up?”
Olivia nodded. This wasn’t where she’d thought the conversation would go. Very quickly, they’d segued into vulnerable territory. Instead of talking about what it was at home that she didn’t want anyone to see, he’d found the reason why she’d become a cop.
“His name was Howard Barnes.” She let out a breath. “I’ve never told anyone this.”
“It’s fine if you don’t tell me. It’s your story, Olivia.”
She wanted to tell him, because it meant something to her that he was the one who knew—the only one. “I was six. Somewhere around there. My mom would drink at this bar, and she would leave me in the car outside with a blanket so I could sleep on the back seat.”
His hand flexed in hers.
“Someone stole her keys and took the car for a joyride. There were two of them. They didn’t realize I was in the back, and they were drunk. They ran the car off the road into a ditch and ran off. They left the doors open and it was cold.”
“They left you by yourself?”
“That was the least scary part of what happened. I know how to be by myself.” She took a breath.
“Eventually a cop showed up. He scooped me out of the car and drove me to the hospital. They checked me out, and I told him what happened. He waited with me all night while my mom was sobering up enough to take care of me.”
“They never put you in foster care?”
Olivia shook her head. “Social services in Benson came by plenty of times. But when she was sober, she was good, and she’s one of those people who can talk their way out of anything.”
“But that cop made an impression on you.”
“It wasn’t just that he found a deck of cards and taught me how to play a few games.
Or that he got me a candy bar from the vending machine and made sure I ate a good breakfast in the morning.
It was that I felt safe for the first time in my life.
I was being cared for instead of being left alone or taking care of someone else. ”
She continued. “He came by regularly. I always had his card on me in case I was ever in a situation and I needed help. He made detective, and he and his wife would come to my volleyball games.”
“He cared about you.”
“He was the only one who cared about me. Sometimes I go visit at Thanksgiving. He’s retired now, and his wife knits afghan blankets.” Olivia usually worked on Christmas, and her mom would spend the day at a bar. “They’re great.”
“What happened to your mom?”
“Nothing. She and I share a house on Witherton Avenue.”
Izan frowned. “You still live with her?”
Olivia didn’t know how to answer that. Her mom needed help. If Olivia left her alone, who would make sure she was…alive?
A loud voice echoed through the emergency department.
Olivia slid her hand free of Izan’s. “Sounds like you’re about to meet her.”
“Liv-ya! Where you at, girl?”
She called out, “In here, Nicki.”
Nicola Tazwell sauntered into the bay in skintight leather pants, a tight top, teased-out hair, and more jewelry than Olivia owned.
Her earrings and necklace had Christmas hats on them, and her shirt had a racy version of an elf in full color with the little lights so she could make it flash.
Olivia couldn’t see her mom’s feet but guessed she’d ignored the forecast and wore slingback heels.
Nicki set her hand on her hip, about to say something, when she noticed Izan. She looked him up and down. “Well, aren’t you tall, dark, and handsome.” She stuck her hand out. “I’m Nicola.”
“Izan.”
“Ooh. Exotic.”
Olivia’s cheeks heated. Not the way she’d thought today would go, but it was all out in the open now. Her secrets were free.
The question was, what would Izan do next?