Chapter 33
It was nearly midnight. Tyler had a cold, and Nicola rocked him, trying to get him to sleep.
She couldn’t bear that he was so uncomfortable, and Pete’s glower from across Mathilda’s library didn’t help.
He wasn’t supposed to be here in Mathilda’s house—Kate had been very clear about that—but he’d spent at least part of every night with her and Tyler.
He wanted Nicola to be grateful for it, but mostly it wore her out and made her nervous.
The French doors were open to a cool breeze blowing off the river.
The late-summer sounds of crickets, rustling leaves, and a distant owl came through.
“You don’t have to stay,” Nicola said to Pete.
“I’m waiting for him to stop crying.”
“Well, he’s not feeling well.”
“I realize that,” Pete said with exaggerated patience.
“It’s normal for babies.”
“It wasn’t normal for Sam. Beth always seemed to know just what to do. She always got Sam to sleep through the night.”
“Guess I’m not Beth.”
“I guess you’re not.”
Things had changed so drastically. Back when Nicola was working at the gallery and she and Pete were first getting together, he spoke about all the things Beth did wrong.
How she wasn’t supportive of him, how she had always been distracted by gallery work, neglecting Sam.
He’d complained about how she would rather catalog paintings for the next show instead of watching Sam’s soccer games.
Now all he did was praise Beth. Nicola thought his current attitude reflected the real Beth, not the one he’d created to justify their affair. Nicola had loved her; she could say that honestly.
Contrary to what Pete used to say, Beth had been a great mother.
Having a great mother herself, Nicola knew.
Although Beth had money and could have afforded a nanny, she did everything with and for Sam.
She had dreamed of a great life for Sam, and the deepest thorn in Nicola’s heart was that her relationship with Pete had devastated both his wife and daughter.
“I never would have thought you could do this,” Beth had said to Nicola.
It was a week after the nightmare, when Beth had let herself into Mathilda’s house, caught her resting in bed beside Pete, seen Tyler in the antique cradle.
Beth had called Nicola, asked her to meet her at the coffee shop next to the Black Hall A it’s Sam,” Beth said. “I think she’s known all along. That’s why she’s slipping in school. She knew what her father was doing, and she had to protect me.”
“I care about Sam.”
“Don’t insult me by pretending you do,” Beth said.
Nicola felt the words like a kick in the face.
“I thought the world of you. Both Kate and I did. We wanted to support you. We knew how hard you worked to get where you are, how you excelled all along the way. I wanted that for Sam. I wanted schools like the ones you went to.”
“She can still have them.”
“Right now she can’t even show up for her stage design workshop. She has stomach pains and had to drop out. She’s a wreck, and it’s because of you and her father.”
“I’m so sorry,” Nicola said.
“What you think you have with him isn’t real,” Beth said.
“It is,” Nicola said softly, glancing at Tyler.
The waitress came by to take Nicola’s order and refill Beth’s coffee cup. Nicola shook her head, sent her away. There were maroon paper place mats on the table, and Beth moved hers closer to Nicola. She slid the salt and pepper shakers and the sugar bowl onto her place mat.
“You don’t know him,” Beth said. “Or maybe you do. Haven’t you seen his moods?”
Nicola made sure she showed no emotion.
“This is me,” Beth said, pointing at the salt, “and this is Pete.” She touched the pepper.
“Here is Sam,” she said, holding the sugar bowl in both her hands.
“No matter how I feel about him now, this is our family.” She met Nicola’s eyes, a sharp expression in hers.
She tapped her coffee spoon, and it slid onto the floor.
“And that’s you. You’re off the place mat. You’re out of our lives.”
“Not out of Pete’s,” Nicola said. The waitress came by to pick up the spoon and give Beth a clean one.
“You are,” Beth said as the waitress left. “You just don’t realize it yet. He’s not capable. I’ll do anything for Sam, and when it comes down to it, so will Pete.” Her gaze was hard and furious, and she raised her hand as if she wanted to hit Nicola.
“Tyler needs his father too,” Nicola said.
A look of deep anguish crossed Beth’s face.
Her whole demeanor changed. She crumpled, putting her head in her hands.
Nicola wanted to reach across the table to comfort her.
She started to, hand hovering above the back of Beth’s head.
But she had known it would make everything worse, so she had lowered her hand and touched her sleeping son instead.
Now, sitting in the cozy library with Pete, Nicola caressed their son’s head again.
It felt warm, but not like before. The fever was breaking.
His crying had subsided, and she knew he was ready to fall asleep.
The breeze had picked up, and the air was suddenly cool.
Nicola wore a sage-green cashmere shawl wrapped around her shoulders.
Afraid Tyler would get a chill, Nicola pulled the shawl off and tucked it around him.
“Fresh air is good for him,” Pete said.
“He still has a little fever.”
“You coddle him.”
“Pete, you’re being unreasonable.”
She saw him scowl, and she waited for his anger.
He hated being challenged. She thought about asking to see his back.
She could wash and dress his wounds, kiss them so tenderly.
It might head him off, stop him from blowing up.
He opened his mouth to say something, but then his phone rang.
He answered, keeping his eyes on Nicola, but then he walked out the French doors to take the call in private.
When he returned, he looked angrier than ever.
“Is everything okay?” Nicola said.
“No,” Pete said.
“What’s wrong?”
“Sam is spending the night at Kate’s. And you know why, don’t you?”
Nicola shook her head.
“Because I’m here. Trying to keep you happy instead of being home with my daughter, where I belong.”
“Then go,” Nicola said.
“It’s too late now,” Pete said. “She’s at her aunt’s. I swear to God, if Kate keeps poisoning her against me . . .”
“No one can do that,” Nicola said, staring at Pete with all the truth in the world. “Sam loves you. You’re all she has left.”
“Yes,” Pete said, looking away from Nicola and Tyler.