Prologue
Kat
If I had known what was going to happen …
I would have begged him not to go. I would have even fought him to keep us from walking through those doors.
That’s the thing about fate, though—you’re never given a heads-up.
But I should have known because everything was just right.
When everything is perfect, it’s eventually all going to crumble and there’s not a damn thing you can do to stop it.
Four years ago
As my heels click against the cement stairs and I walk into the garage, I note that it feels like home.
I know every square inch of this place. I’ve practically grown up inside of these four walls.
With an arm wrapped around my waist and the bite of the night chill outside waning, all I can do is let a smile slip into place.
Everything is familiar, from the smell of the oil that’s ever present to all the mechanic tools hung neatly on the walls.
Any item you could ever need to repair or build a motorcycle is here.
Hell, I don’t care in the least about the work that’s done here, yet I bet I could name most of the tools, just from Cill asking me to hand them to him over the years.
At a glance I could tell if any of them were out of order—that’s how much time I’ve spent here.
Hours and days and years. Basically my whole life.
It may seem strange to other people, but the rumble of bikes paired with the loud laughter and hollering that come with the men who are always here is my kind of heaven.
I bet ordinary people feel like this when they walk into a cozy living room.
My leather jacket presses against Cillian’s leathers with a faint squeak as we squeeze by the narrow opening to the rest of the three-story building.
The best part by far is holding Cillian’s hand, just like I’ve done for years. His fingers loop easily through mine like we’re meant to be together. We are meant to be together.
I can’t remember a time when I didn’t have a crush on him.
In high school we started dating with approval from both of our fathers.
My heart warms to think about him as my high school sweetheart.
My father said it would make sense; his father said it was a business decision done right.
Mob connections from my father, MC from his.
I’m head over heels for the boy I’ve always been told I’m meant to be with. Now that we’re older, it’s only gotten more intense.
An hour ago, we were in his bed. With his hard body pressed against mine and a cold sweat slipping across my sensitized skin, I cried out his name and he murmured his love for me in the crook of my neck.
Cillian’s tall, with hard but lean muscles that work against me.
I just barely come up to his shoulders. I don’t think anyone could imagine a man like him saying the sweet things he does to me when he comes, whispering his adoration and promises for our future.
It’s like he’s showing me some secret part of him that no one else will ever get to see.
I hold that secret close while we walk into the garage together.
He pulls me tighter as we move through the door to the staircase at the side of the building.
One thing everyone does know: he’s my ride or die and I’m his, and we’re both protected in every way imaginable.
With the rec room on the second floor only a threshold away, he bends down and kisses me. “I wish I could take you back to bed,” he murmurs, his voice throaty and laced with sin and sex appeal.
A shiver runs through my body and travels lower, bringing a blush to my cheeks.
“You should,” I tease him, nipping his bottom lip. I’d fuck him all night, every night. On more than one occasion we’ve fooled around till dawn. Nothing is better. He knows my body, every inch of it and every secret. Cillian’s my first, and I don’t want any other men.
“You want to turn back then and not go to Sunday dinner?”
“Yeah,” I say and capture my bottom lip between my teeth before adding playfully, “Let’s go before anyone sees us.” Tugging on his hand is useless and I already know it’s not going to happen.
Every Sunday, we have to be here for dinner. No exceptions. After all, it’s both a family and MC occasion.
He laughs and with his gaze lifting past me to the threshold, he seems to consider it. The rough pad of his thumb glides along the stubble on his chin before he looks back down at me, a wanting look I know well in his light blue gaze. “They’d wonder where we went. They’d talk about us.”
“Who cares?” I slip my arms under his leathers and tug at the fabric, making my desire known as I slide my fingers up his back. “They already talk about us.”
If our fathers weren’t in charge, the whispers would be heard far more often. I don’t care what people say. I only want Cillian. Everything I dreamed of in high school is right there in his eyes. Our whole future.
“After dinner. I promise,” he tells me with a handsome but cocky grin. “I’ll take you back to bed after dinner.”
The tip of my nose nudges against his as I let out a small moan of protest; it’s nearly a mewl of want.
Cill’s deep groan as he backs me up to the wall and lowers his lips to mine forces a simper to my lips that grows into a full-blown smile as he kisses down my neck.
His rough stubble and roaming hands are everything I want and need.
Just as my head falls back and my breathing turns heavy, Cill backs away and then cracks a smirk at my mouth opening in protest and disbelief.
He chuckles at me and I smack his chest. “After dinner, Hellcat.”
Swatting my ass, he keeps me moving and I don’t miss a beat, getting on my tiptoes to nip his lower lip.
The guys are already gathering in the rec room and someone must catch a glimpse of us because they call out for Cill.
A low groan of annoyance leaves me and Cillian gives me a rough chuckle in response.
It’s like one big family, and I love that too.
One big happy family with Cillian’s dad in charge after mine handed him a business deal he couldn’t refuse.
I don’t know exactly what they do, and if I’m honest, I don’t want to.
Cill says not to worry; my father tells me to do as I’m told and not ask questions.
All in all, I’m aware they go out on runs for weeks at a time.
When they leave, Cill is anxious and calls me every night.
When they come home, he can’t keep his hands off me.
He’s loyal to me and all Cill’s ever asked is for me to stay loyal to him, to trust him and not to worry. I’ll take that response over my father’s any day.
There’s already a crowd in the rec room, the chatter intensifying as we walk in and Reed, his best friend, greets us with a tip of his chin, a smile on his face. He looks like the cat that ate the canary and I wonder what he knows.
My mind slips back to what I thought Cill said last night.
I could have sworn he mentioned marriage.
It seems silly to be nervous like I am for him to ask, since we both know we’re meant to be married.
But he hasn’t yet and every day that passes by, I know he’s going to ask soon. I feel it in the pit of my stomach.
“You want a beer from the back?” Reed questions, gesturing to the other side of the floor.
“Hell yeah,” Cill answers and I nod too. I’m only eighteen and Cill’s nineteen, but liquor has always flowed easily for us here. Maybe that’s another reason I prefer this place to home.
Part of this open space is an expansive kitchen, separated from the rest by a countertop, and there are leather couches, an old coffee table and a professional pool table on the other end. The rack is on the table next to some chalk, but the cues are hung up because no one’s playing right now.
A couple of women, two friends I’ve met a handful of times but I forget their names, sit on the side of the coffee table, leaning forward and talking to Finn and Cill’s uncle, Eamon.
It didn’t take me long to learn everyone’s roles.
Finn is the treasurer, which seems at odds with his large stature and weight.
He’s first generation and formed the club with Eamon and Cill’s father decades ago.
His accent is thick, as is his Irish temper.
Eamon is the road captain … but also the enforcer. He’s much leaner and again it seems to go against natural thought until you see the man in a ring. Cill’s uncle loves to tell stories of “back in the day, when I was a fighter …”
If another person walked in right now, they might be intimidated. The room is riddled with leather and tattooed skin. Not everyone gets it, but I do. I’m not afraid.
Unlike one of those women, who has a nervous laugh that still hasn’t left her.
I watch as Finn’s brow raises and he leans back.
Both he and Eamon are older than the two blondes, one platinum, one dirty blonde, both of them gorgeous.
The two men have always had hangers-on and it’s never sat right with me.
I get that they don’t want commitment like the others; they don’t want “old ladies.” The term makes me roll my eyes.
But seeing women come and go is uncomfortable.
It’s family dinner and if they don’t intend on them being family, they shouldn’t be here.
It’s not like it’s an intimate gathering.
There are over a dozen people here already and another two dozen or so to come. But still …
I’ve always found his uncle Eamon a bit disrespectful when it comes to things like that, but as Cill says, they’re old school. Which again, makes my eyes roll.
I start to take off my jacket, but a chill blows in and I think better of it, opting to leave it on even though Cill takes his off.
All the windows in the rec room are open. Fresh fall air comes in through the screens. It’s early autumn, but already chilly at night. The sun is just starting to set and through the blinds it’s easy to see it sinking into the woods behind us.