Chapter Forty-Six
Present - Evelyn
RYDER MUMBLES. “NO, no, no.”
But it’s too late, I’m brought back to consciousness and my face hurts. Not just where Soraya landed her punch, but the other side of my face too. Blood trickles into my mouth from where I must have bitten my cheek during an impact I don’t remember.
Stefan stands over Ryder, dagger poised to chop off a finger. Nausea surges through me before I lean over my chair and spill my guts. Under any other circumstances I’d feel embarrassed, but as some of it splashes on some dickhead’s suit, I feel pleased.
He jumps back cursing, allowing me a moment to glance at Soraya, questions in my eyes. There’s no evidence of the woman who swore to help me, but I keep my mouth shut. Should I utter a word about how she mentioned saving us, I’ll damn us all.
Soraya glides over to Stefan, trailing a finger over the dagger from where it still hovers and up his wrist. “Jumping right into the fun part? Whatever happened to some good foreplay?”
“First you want me to speed up, and now you want me to slow down?” Rage flickers across Stefan’s face. “So hot and cold.”
Soraya sighs. “There’s only so much to remove from a man, darling. All I’m saying is to have some fun before he bleeds out.”
My eyes flick between Soraya, Stefan, and the other man, trying to figure out the dynamic between the three. Soraya’s words are sensual despite the audience, and my brain refuses to accept what it pieces together.
“As you wish, darling .” The word rolls of his tongue like a threat, containing unspoken promises to make her pay for this later.
A nasty cut drops from the tip of Ryder’s chest, over his sternum, and down to his stomach, but he’s still in one piece overall. No missing body parts. Yet.
Ryder pants as Stefan brings the tip of the blade onto the top of his hand, pushing down with a light pressure and twisting. Blood pools over his hand, dripping off the sides like a gurgling stream.
“Stop!” I scream, my throat like gravel. “Don’t hurt him!”
“Evie, it’s okay.” Ryder breathes through his teeth. “Just. Don’t. Watch. Don’t give them what they want.”
Soraya laughs, tipping her head back.
Refusing to take the cowardly way out of this, I don’t close my eyes, but I stop the pointless pleading. We promised forever, and as far away as that feels now, I will be with him through every moment.
A glaze spreads over Stefan’s eyes, his pupils dilating as if the pain brings him a high of the purest kind. He loses himself to it, closing his eyes and taking it in. Now would be the time to strike, yet Soraya does nothing but continue to watch as Stefan has his fun.
One minute I’d been planning to reveal the news of our little bean, now Ryder is strapped to a chair and may never know he was going to be a father. He would have been the best one. Our child would have felt safe, surrounded by our love every day. That’s what I focus on, the could-have should-have been.
As the sweat pours down his face, I imagine it’s because he was playing with our child on a hot summer day. When he grunts, I pretend it’s because he’s moving heavy pieces of wood so he can build our child a treehouse. When he closes his eyes, I pretend it’s so he can fall asleep next to me, the way he has every night.
Finally, Soraya halts Stefan’s hand. “You’ve played with our food enough. Now finish it quickly, so I can take what I want from you.”
Is she truly this evil? Stealing the last thing I’d had: hope. First breathing life into it, making sure I hadn’t lost it before crushing it into smithereens with her white stilettos.
“Evie. Look at me.” A tear drops down my cheek as I bring my eyes to Ryder’s. His face is battered, and despite the hell he’s been through, all I find is strength looking back at me. And love. “Close your eyes.”
I shake my head, refusing. “No.”
“Still bossy and insufferable, right up to our bitter end.” Ryder smiles, and as much as I hate to give them what they want, I begin crying in earnest. There’s no stopping the tears that fall quickly and surely down my face, as I look at the man I love, knowing that our time is over.
“I love you.” I barely manage, grief gripping my throat. There’s so much more to say, so much he should know that I’m grateful for, but those three words will have to do.
“You know that I’ve loved you from the moment your head poked out of that car.” Ryder’s voice cracks. “I’m so sorry I’ve failed you.”
“You did the right thing, Ryder.” He will die with honor, but I can’t bear to say it.
Stefan raises his gun, finger playing on the trigger.
“As much as I want those hazel eyes to be the last thing I see in this life, you can’t watch this,” Ryder insists, throat bobbing. “Please, Evie, close your eyes. For me.”
Because it’s the last wish he’ll ever make, I surrender to it.
And as if this is all just a nightmare, Ryder starts to sing.
I memorize the pitches and tones and vibrations, which have only gotten more beautiful with age, the way his voice trembles over certain words.
Most women would want to memorize the way he looks, but his voice, the thing that brought me comfort throughout my darkest nights is what I choose to carry with me to the afterlife, to whatever may be waiting for me there.
When the sea is dark
When the waves are rough
When the darkness tries to swallow you whole
There I’ll be
I’ll be, I’ll be, I’ll be
I’ll beee-eee-eee
There I’ll be
I’ll be, I’ll be, I’ll be
I’ll beee-eee-eee
A gunshot rings out and Ryder’s voice ceases with it, my lullaby cut short, and I’m left with a nightmare of the worst kind. The sort you never wake up from.